This is an extremely long and delayed trip report, I didn’t post it before as I didn’t feel I really had much to add to existing threads but I’ll try to recap my trip as best as possible. I went to District Federal, Mexico in March of 2013. I arrived on a Tuesday afternoon for an 8 night trip. TL,DR summary at end.
BACKGROUND - I’m 5’11” (I felt 6’3” here), blue-eyed, blond-haired (although bald) with muscular build (admittedly not what I used to be) Irish-American. This was my first trip abroad completely solo for the purposes of traveling and experiencing new things on my own. I had a previous one day excursion into Mexico from a family cruise prior to this (shit-show that is a great story on its own). Looking back now I can say I admittedly was too paranoid and on guard in general before my trip and for my first few days in Mexico. I have always been someone who you didn’t want to have a physical confrontation with but nonetheless I had pretty bad public anxiety. I had less than a year of RVF under my belt before this and I would never have made the trip to DF if not for the informational threads on RVF, for that I thank everyone who is involved with the site. So I decided kind of last minute that I would head to Mexico City to watch the USA vs. Mexico World Cup Qualifier at famed Azteca Stadium. I tried to improve my Spanish before leaving but in the short time period I really only knew basic words and some basic phrases. I was early 30’s for this trip.
PLANNING - I’ve spoken before how I have a shit job in a Hospital but I have the freedom to schedule myself, well I believe I worked ten 12hr+ shifts in a row leading up to this trip. Lack of planning and time resulted in a $524 plane ticket direct from North-East USA with a return layover in Houston. I missed out on some better apartments on AirBnb but ended up stayed in Condesa on Campeche for 8 nights which ran me $511 after all fees not including the $400 security. This was a good spot close to two Metro stations, restaraunts, Starbucks and bars but I would recommend being closer to Parque Mexico or Parque Espana. Location was good and no problems bringing back girls even with the super’s door open most of the time as you enter the building. The building was designed so that the walkways/common areas of each floor were symmetrical and the noise really carried up, ESPECIALLY that big-ass, loud-ass barking dog that would be kept outside all-day starting at 7am, that wasn’t exactly fun after a late night of drinking. I had sketchy internet as well and while not ideal it was sufficient. Don’t think I was aware of or on Tinder but I wasted a lot of time on Badoo prior to this trip.
ARRIVAL - While going through customs I had a pretty little 20-something staring at me with a nice inviting smile, I was going to try and get her number but she got moved to a different spot before I could get to her. I noticed many people were eyeing me up and I’m sure part of that had to do with me sporting a USMNT jersey before a huge game vs. Mexico. After passing customs I exchanged $300usd at the best cambeo and they immediately shut down after me. I then tried to get a sim card for my Iphone4s at the Telcel shop next to Puerta 3 (good tip from RVF) which didn’t work because of my locked Verizon cell. I ended up getting a 220 Peso crap phone to make calls and text with, the lady in the store was very friendly and patient with me. I no longer have the cab info but I walked all the way left if facing the doors outside to grab a specific cab service, maroon and brown maybe? I believe my cab fare was around 160-220 Pesos to Condesa. I remember reading about taking the subway and wanting to save money but I firmly believe in spending the money on a cab for your arrival to just about anywhere. The heat, smog and car’s exhaust immediately hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t believe Mexico has car inspections or emission controls. Cab driver was cool, I tried speaking to him in Spanish a little about the game and city but we quickly ran out of topics to communicate about plus I was wide-eyed during the drive and taking pictures.
BEGINNING (Tuesday) – I can’t remember why but I couldn’t text/call my Airbnb host to let him know I was on the way, not too big of a deal as I had made arrangements for us to meet outside the apartment later on. I post up at El Tizoncito on the opposite corner which is a chain taco joint, bomb-ass tacos al pastor and some cheap Pacifico clara cerveja (my favorite in Mexico) so I’m good. By my third beer I’m wondering what exactly is going on, I try to get my man (wish I could remember his name because he was cool as fuck, actually I got some head-nod daps by bringing one broad back one night/morning) slinging them tacos al pastor to call the number for me and he couldn’t do it. Soon after I notice two guys loitering on the corner in front of the apartment and I’m blatantly making eye contact with them while being a Gringo with a large suitcase by my feet to no response. Turns out it is him but out of spite I had a couple more tacos and another beer before going over to find out.
At this point I hadn’t slept for something like 30 hours as I had been working night shift but I was on the prowl thanks to abstaining from masturbating for 7-8 days and daily ACV use. I showered and went out to pick up some beer and snacks for the apartment. Saw a faty across the street and made my first true foreign soil approach. Two girls who taught Pilates together or some shit, I tried to get them to come drink beers at my place but they insisted I go and pay for their class later that night, yeah right. Drank a couple beers in my apartment while working on my Badoo leads (again, waste of time) then decided in a sleep-deprived semi-drunken state (altitude) that it was a good time to go for a run around the city. I started off at a fast past thinking I would mash out a quick run before heading out for the night. Well I ended up crossing paths with a really cute 5’er and so I started talking to her and running with her but I was pretty fatigued by this point, the high pace combined with alcohol, altitude and smog did me in and even though she seemed receptive I stopped. Felt like a looser after a minute and went after her but couldn’t catch up again, lost opportunity.
I shower and use the internet when one of the Badoo girls seems down. I’m still getting dressed as she arrives so I go down to get her and we go back to my apartment where I offer her a beer. She doesn’t drink beer but apparently she lets her nice titties hang out, nips sometimes too which I gentlemanly pointed out. Now I admit I was genuinely nervous as fuck at this point. I think it was a combination of being fatigued, a new country, possessing little game or confidence and not being too sure about this girl. Well shortly after she said it didn’t matter if her nips were out I knew the deal. Down comes her shirt and she’s encouraging me to play with her nice tits while telling me she’s “a hundered” (I’m guessing that was her game to get 100usd after the fact instead of 100 Pesos) and that everything is good. I never have and never plan on paying for a whore so even though I had a raging hard-on I wasn’t playing that. This is where it gets interesting as she asks to use the bathroom and I stupidly allow her to, she takes longer than ususal. Now I’m thinking she could be instructing dudes to come to this address for me or whatever, I was also worried about her shoving my toothbrush up her ass or something. She gets returns now asking for cab money and I’m saying yeah right, little argument ensues where I’m saying you never said you were a prostitute, think I even threatened to call the cops and she proclaimed go ahead because this was her country, etc. At this point I’m realizing I just need to get this bitch out of my apartment so I convince/push her out with a faint promise of cab fare outside. I tell her we need to go to the ATM and then at the nearest corner I take a left and start bristly walking across the street without looking at her. Mistake on my part as she ninja crept up on me and fucking kicked me in my ass, hard. I turned around with the wrath of God and was ready to beat this hookers ass straight back into the nearest gutter but being in Mexico alone for the first night and a restaurant full of patrons who could and probably did view this I checked myself, turned away and kept walking in my original direction. This bitch was now yelling in English how I’m a piece of shit and she knows where I live, etc. Great.
At this point my adrenaline is through the roof and I’m eyeing up every single person I cross ready to throw down while periodically looking over my shoulder and thinking fuck Mexico. I dipped into a restaurant in Condesa that gave me some cover from the street in case this crazy bitch and her pimp were hunting me. While facing the entrance I calmed down while having some bomb-ass Mexican food.
From here I set out to find Pata Negra based of RVF’s advice, well I walked around Condesa a couple times (some people from inside a bar laughed at me the 2nd or 3rd time I past) as Pata Negra didn’t seem to have too much signage (it’s directly south and across the street from Parque Espana). I stopped into some Irish sports bar “Celtics Pub Irlandes” but besides a short conversation with the bartender and waitress there was nothing going on here. I believe I went into Wallace Whiskey Bar where there was a younger group of 10 or so affluent Mexicans in a group and no signs of being invited, I had 1 overpriced beer and left. I think I found Pata Negra and it was completely empty so I didn’t even have 1 beer, just left.
At this point I was a little down on DF as I went to have my first street food experience, empanadas? Cool setup and decent crowd got me to try it out. Looking back I fucked up as there was a 20-something alone eating and making herself available to talk, I never approached. Went home and passed out, fought the urge to jerk-off.
(Wednesday) – Nothing notable besides I went back out at night in my usual attire which was with leather shoes, slim/fitted jeans and a button down but this time I went to Pata Negra around 9-10pm. I remember kind of getting singled out by security at the door but I was cool and talked to them for a minute after, can’t remember but I may have threw the guy at the door a couple bucks (another RVF gem, be cool with staff, lock down spots). It wasn’t dead like the night before but wasn’t too packed either; I don’t remember the backroom being open. Opened two girls and was dancing with them but one’s breath was funky as all hell and I think we both lost interest. I made it a point not to linger too long and approached a random group of girls suggesting they teach me how to dance to Mexican music. At this point I had 2 beers from my previous interaction and the girl I originally eyed up to approach spoke English (teacher). So we’re dancing, I give her a beer and while I wasn’t originally planning on staying long with her I realize I’m more attracted to her than I originally thought. My jeans didn’t do a good job of hiding my erection and she soon also knew how attracted to her I was. Now she had a less attractive friend with a better body who I purposely made time to dance with and separate myself from the first girl (again, thanks RVF). This second girl was not shy about trying to steal me away from first girl. She was grinding on my erection, telling me she likes me, at one point I tried getting her number on the sly but she didn’t put it in right or without area codes or something. She even tried to get me to leave with her right in front of the first girl. I regret never fucking the second girl.
Now it’s me and first girl as a “couple”, lots of kissing, smiling, ass grabbing, she’s basically having a blast. I get her to walk out with me at one point but she has to go back into the club because of her friends. Her friends leave and I’m trying everything I can to get her back but she has work early and says maybe tomorrow. Fuck. Again go home and pass out, fight the urge to jerkoff.
(Thursday) – I woke up and someone was going to be fucked this day for sure… During the day I went to Chapultepec Park to check it out and game. I had read here that you’re not going to find anything except super fat housewives with their families, I went anyway. Well, super fat, cubed housewives were exactly what I found. There is a bunch of vendors selling bullshit food and bullshit touristy crap. The castle was cool though (went later with a girl), I also went to the museum of Anthropology across the street. The park is a cool place to bring a girl, not to find one.
After the park I wandered down la Reforma where almost immediately I had some bum start aggressively yelling at me solely because I was a Gringo, good times. Checked out El Angel de la Independencia which is beautiful and a great photo opportunity. At this point I was on a nearby bench texting the girl from the previous night and I had her meet me at Pata Negra later that night. I see a fly voluptuous girl pass me and I follow suit. Right away at the crosswalk I tell her how good she smells and thanks her but there is a serious language barrier. We end up walking hand in hand; I’m hard the whole time, where she meets her gay friend. She gives me her work number, saying she doesn’t have a cell. Nothing came of it, I don’t think she was too interested honestly.
After this I’m borrowing a nearby store’s wifi as a group of girls went by my giggling at me. Took me a minute but I caught up and tried talking about a nearby rooftop bar I was looking for, again language barrier and nothing. I felt more like a novelty item to them. Shortly after I walked into the hotel to scope out the rooftop bar, only problem was there wasn’t one. I walk around the corner onto Rio Lema where I have an amazing street taco and then see a Hooters and figure why not… Now I was actively avoiding anything American at this point but this turned out to be a good time. Sit at the far-end of the downstairs bar, near the service bar section. I immediately had a bartender infatuated with me (I should have left with her, she even said through Google Translate that we should hang out, nowadays I wouldn’t need any more of an invitation but at the time I wanted a different bartender) and I made sure to sit at the bar near the waitresses service area so they all got a good look at me. I was told they all thought I was very handsome, I believe I got 3 numbers here. Only bad part besides the overpriced beer and food was some older guy with some admittedly cool Rock n Roll stories wanted to keep talking when I was trying to run game. He was cool though, we bought each other beers and shots. I was assured this Hooters would be showing the USMNT vs Costa Rica WCQ’er the following day. Oh yeah, the manager was probably 38 with what looked a really nice set of fake tits and fake ass on her. The girls that worked there were probably 7’s on average but seemed genuinely friendly and interested in me.
I overstay my scheduled time at Hooters and now I’m going to be late to meet this girl who seemed like a sure thing at Pata Negra so I grab a cab when I would have usually taken the Metro and I tipped him way too much in a happy drunken state even though he can’t even find the fucking club. There was a line to get into Pata Negra so I walk up to the front of the line even though I feel like a dousche doing it so I can speak to the thankfully same doorman, he lets me up no problem. He honestly seemed just as happy to see me and be associated with an American as I was to have him let me in ahead of the line. I get in, scope it out and I have to say Pata Negra on a Thursday was pretty fucking cool. I’m not a club guy but the DJ was playing surprisingly good older hip-hop/rap which is right up my alley, good crowd, same bartender remembered me from the previous night, life was good. Except this dumb bitch who called me saying how she couldn’t find a parking spot and was going to go home,,,what? So I leave the club and she meets me out front where I jump in her car and park it 5 blocks away. We go back to the line and I pull the same shit by walking to the front, doorman gives me dap and a nod. The whole thing was smooth as fuck, like out of a movie.
From here it was kinda standard especially as she had been drinking with a friend prior. Drinks, little dancing, then it was chilling on the couches having her dance in front of me and give me semi-lap dances, making fun of dudes passed out on the coaches, some head-nods were exchanged with some other real dudes who were handling there business, people were smoking weed in there, just a good fucking time man. I was really digging it. She’s drunk and I’m ready to leave, she agrees to leave. I’m trying to hide my boner as I walk down the spiral staircase while also making sure she doesn’t slip or whatever, say peace to the doorman and we’re walking to my apartment without mentioning it. Then she brought up her car and how it was late and this and that and I think I first tried to reason with her. That she had been drinking, not safe to drive and that she could leave in the morning. But that’s when I had a little RVF fairy on my shoulder saying “don’t reason, seduce her!” and then I laid a passionate but pulling back kiss on her all the while my erection was firmly up against her thigh/hip. She caved instantaneously.
Something funny, unique and possibly detrimental to use having sex happened as we were taking off our clothes. I won’t explain so to not expose my identity but I powered through it and stayed in the moment….. I wasn’t going to say it but I briefly dislocated my shoulder as I was taking my shirt off on the bed. After a brief grimace I played it off, didn’t mention it and got on with business.
This chick was 31 at the time and while I probably wouldn’t approach her now but she gave me the best sex of my life at the time, by far. Her body was thinner with a better shape than I had anticipated and her tits were bigger and nicer. She was one of these conservative girls who dressed down but once the clothes came off she was an animal. Her pussy was fucking amazing and rode my dick soo hard and deep that she bruised something in my lower abdomen/pelvic region which affected me for days. Plus she was speaking Spanish while doing it, had me say some Spanish shit to which she responded to in ecstasy. It’s like 2-4am and were having wild drunk sex and she’s saying how my dick and her pussy were made for each other and she might have been right. The whole thing was one of those “This is the shit, yes I want more of this in my life moments”… I pull off the condom to bust in her face and I think she was hesitant to take it. Maybe she scooped it up off the sheets and into her mouth, I can’t remember if that was her or the next one. Not long after we’re spooning trying to go to sleep when I realized I need to have her again and I’m getting hard again. Put her hand on my hard dick and she was all surprised “really”, guess it was a fast turnaround. This time I got on top of her and started rubbing my cock against her pussy without a condom and got her going. Let her know I was going to put it in bareback and she acted like she was protesting but after I said trust me she changed her mind. Shit was soo perfect I busted pretty fast.
Couple hours later her alarm goes off and we both wake up pretty hungover. She needs help finding all her clothes but I kiss her, tell her we’ll talk later when all I’m really interested in is my bed after she leaves. 20 minutes later my POS Mexican phone is ringing and she’s crying on the other end because she can’t find her car and saying some other dramatic bullshit… Really? Fuck it, realize I actually have to help this retarded bitch even after I tell her where her car is. Again, another gem from RVF because in the past I probably would not have handled this as calmly and smoothly as I did. It was probably funny as fuck as a walk of shame for the shopkeepers/locals though.
(Friday) – Gameday, USA vs. Costa Rica WCQ, I’m amped to watch even though I’m 3,000 miles away. Can’t remember exactly why but I was rushing to get to Hooters in time for the game, think I took a “starbucks walk through the park clear your mind before a big game like the pros moment”. Anyway I get to Hooters and I’m kinda sweating a little and just ready for some cold beer and the game. Turns out the dumb bitch at Hooters was totally wrong and the game wasn’t being shown ANYWHERE in Mexico, surprise surprise. I’m definitely a little but I immediately run through all my options so I have a waitress give me their wifi and I get a friend’s watchespn info from the states in 5 minutes tops. I think I’m all set but watchespn won’t work in Mexico, oh well I tried right? Have drinks, make friends by Mexicans mainly opening me because I’m wearing a USMNT jersey and there all surprised I’m actually going to the game on Tuesday at Azteca. USA wins a wild one for the ages in a bad Denver snowstorm.
I have plans to meet my girl from the previous night again at Pata Negra but by the time I leave Hooters the Metro was closed and I didn’t want to spend money on a tax I again so I walked from la Reforma to Pata Negra. Some gay dude tried to pick me up along the way but I never stop walking and he wasn’t out of line so no sweat of my back. I’m definitely drunk at this point but kinda enjoying the walk, the architecture, these are the solo moments I’ve since come to cherish while travelling.
Until I walk past a crowd outside a club while wearing my USMNT jersey… I swear to this day that some faggot bitch flung a cigarette butt against my back after I walked past them. It’s possible it was a fucking acorn, leaf, me imagining some shit but I highly doubt it… I immediately stop in my tracks, turn around while scanning the crowd and pick out the most likely culprit when I start pointing at him asking in a not soo friendly way if it was him. Dude played dumb but I’m still convinced it was him, I thought about pressuring him some more but acknowledged that one Gringo vs. 30+ Mexicans outside a club probably wasn’t the smartest idea I ever had. After this it was shirt off, walking in the shadows with bad intentions. Thankfully nothing happened but sometimes I can’t help myself, I go into Bam-Bam mode.
I was late to Pata Negra so I didn’t take the extra 45 minutes to go to my place and shower/change, I walked into a packed Mexican club on the “eve” of a huge game while wearing my USMNT jersey. I go in and am definitely getting a lot of looks, not all of which were too friendly. Even my bartender wasn’t having it as we were now enemies with USA vs. Mexico the next day and a couple days away. Whatever. I do a walkthrough in the club looking for my broad, nothing. I go and post up at the bar for a minute where there’s space, it’s pretty much shoulder to shoulder in the club which I’m not a fan of. A group of dudes started rubbing or pushing up on me. At this point I’m not in the friendliest of moods, while also being aware of my phone and money in my pocket… I slightly reposition myself so it shouldn’t happen again and then it happens again but more aggressively and now I’m pretty sure I can see them laughing. I full on push and extend my arm through this clown’s black while staring directly at his friends and then him. After he regains his balance he turns towards me and postures up, I’m obviously thinking it’s going down just as a Mexican girl comes in-between us and talks to them briefly and then brings me to the back section of the club.
This girl speaks English, has nice tits on display, friendly, high energy, she’s fun. We are one beer deep together and dancing off to the side when my girl from the previous night finally comes in. I’m pretty hammered at this point and I didn’t think she was going to show up. I try to act like I didn’t see her first but it’s no use as she approaches us. I THINK she tried talking to me normally but I was saying how she was late, etc, I was definitely a bit of a dick and would have handled it differently now. She left and came back 1 minute later, like she really wasn’t ready to let it go saying “I came here for you” and my response was “I don’t know” as my new girl was hanging on me, she said you don’t know? And I was drunk enough and not giving a fuck enough so I replied “I don’t know” again… Looking back I could have maneuvered it to have both but I wasn’t thinking or was just too drunk. First girl was genuinely hurt, saying she really liked me, I believed her.
Rest of night me and 2nd girl have a great time, lots of drinking and dancing. I start talking about her coming to my place when she says she’s not sure because she came with friends. At some point her male friend was leaving but he was classy enough to suggest I give him money to have her, right in front of her. Needless to say he didn’t get shit and after he left I knew it was game on with 2nd girl. After the club she brought me to a nearby restaurant to eat. This place had a legit mariachi band and she picked out the best authentic Mexican grub they had for me. We sat in the second story balcony where we were kissing, laughing, taking pictures and she was rubbing my cock under the table, she paid. No LMR as the sun was coming up and we were walking back to my apartment. The sex wasn’t nearly as good as the 1st girl and her body was worse than I expected but she liked to suck cock and we fucked for hours, mostly due to whiskey dick and her pussy… You can’t win them all.
(Saturday-on) – This girl went home for a couple hours and came back to initiate a blowjob as I listened to BIGGIE and drank beer on the couch, I would stop her to go get me another beer when I was ready for one. This was another one of my “Yes, I want more of this in my life moments!”
So at this point my first girl stopped replying to me after I was a complete dick to her and I spent a couple days with this 2nd girl. I then paid $200 to push back my flight an additional 2 weeks and I stayed in her apartment in DF, not a bad setup. She said I could stay as long as I wanted.
First night I slept there we drank heavy the night before and she was waking me up clattering shit in the morning as she got ready for work. I remember getting pissed as it was happening because she was waking me up and then I awoke to a plate of eggs, pancakes, whatever else she cooked covered in plates on her dresser and lipstick message on the mirror saying it was the best weekend of her life… Rest of the trip I stayed with her; believe she lived on Calz de Tlalpan near Xola Metro station. This was was more of a working class neighborhood than Condesa and besides some bum yelling at me one morning I had no problems. Although late one night I was getting beer by myself and I noticed a cop car just chilling on the side of the road 2 blocks back from where I came and I didn’t want to risk them potentially doing something so I took a detour to avoid them. Late at night you can still get beer and anything else you want from their convenience store but it’s done through a revolving window so you don’t actually step into the store.
Places I remember going to in DF –
-National Museum of Anthropology (Museo Nacional de Antropologia) – Definitely interesting, I went solo and didn’t pay for a guide. There is lots and lots of things to check out in this museum, you could easily be there for a whole day if you wanted. I’m not a big museum guy but I spent a couple hours here and enjoyed it, a lot of cool artifacts. I think it was 57 pesos, I remember they didn’t have change for my large bill.
-Chapultepec Castle – There’s a tram you can pay for to bring you to the base, me and my girl walked. Your walking uphill and some nice spots for photo ops but you probably don’t want to do it if your obese. I really enjoyed this and there are some great views of the city. I think we were one of the first 10 people they let in for free because it was getting late, maybe under an hour before closing.
-Palacio de Bellas Artes – I didn’t enter but I walked past during one of my wandering sessions, I stopped long enough to take a couple pictures. Beautiful on the outside
-Paseo de la Reforma – Mentioned this landmark earlier, absolutely worth seeing. I copied this from TripAdvisor for “The Angel of Independence”.
-Metropolitan Cathedral (Catedral Metropolitana) – I’m not a religious man but this Church was pretty impressive, in Zocalo square and free to enter.
-National Palace (Palacio Nacional) – Again in Zocalo, I didn’t enter.
-Zocalo – Main square that every city has, Metro station, when I was here they had a NFL kick, run and pass type thing setup which was disappointing but it’s a must visit. One of those places with lots of touristy things going on and other destinations nearby. You get a real sense of history when standing in the square. This is possible an underrated gaming location, I felt like I saw above average women here and fellow tourists are always an option. I had serious IOI’s from a milf (?) with her mother while checking out a model of Xochimilco (NE corner of Zocalo?) and had English speaking Mexican college students approach me for a college project but neither were too attractive. This is where you get touristy trinkets and pictures if you desire.
-Chapultepec Park – Spoke about this earlier but it’s worth checking out, and pretty big. Big lake with paddle boats, nice view of some skyscrapers from benches next to the lake “Lago del Bosque de Chapultepec”, good spot to chill with a girl for a bit and people watch. Near here there is a clown who gets a large crowd and I stopped to watch when I first went solo. He’s doing his thing with a microphone and portable speaker when he eventually spots me and wants to make me a part of his show as the only Gringo there. I don’t speak enough Spanish for this and didn’t want to be the butt of anyone’s joke in front of a couple hundred people. It didn’t help that he had the crowd laughing after I replied to his question of where my residence was. Looking back if I was with a girl I probably would have been more good-natured and went along with it but I didn’t see the point and wasn’t feeling it. When I walked away a man with his girl told me the clown wasn’t making fun of me and we got to talking about my trip. He gave me a great tip to get a hat before I visited Teotihuacan which was a priceless piece of advice for a bald man. I still have the bucket hat I bought in the park after his advice. Again lots of touristy, large park type of stuff with lots of vendors and street performers.
-Monumento y Museo de la Revolucion – Near Paseo de la Reforma , I came across this during one of my travels. Cool light/fountain thing going on in front, good photo op.
-Estadio Azteca – Ahhh here we go. I’m a soccer man so this was really cool for me. One of (now, it was the only when I visited) 2 stadiums in the world to host two World Cup Final games, the capacity is now around 103,000. I took a tour of the stadium 2 days prior to the USA – Mexico WCQ’er, I believe it was close to 80 pesos per person. Me and my girl had a Spanish speaking tour guide all to ourselves which was fine for me as my girl translated but I got the feeling at times that the tour guide may have been getting impatient, tour guide was cute. For the tour itself they show you some plaques outside the stadium and then you walk down a service tunnel which is adorned with banners of famous events held in the stadium and plaques with the more famous soccer players to have provided special moments in the stadium. There is even a small prayer room for the players and I can’t remember why but the Pope had it changed, or maybe built, before he would visit the stadium. From here we were led into the Home team locker room, which is usually Club America but in 2 days this was to be the USA’s locker room because of a sponsorship difference between Club America and the Mexican National Team (Nike/Adidas). In Club America’s dressing room you can’t take pictures but they have a photographer come in to charge you for a picture, I wasn’t having it. I was soo amped for this game and inside my own head in this locker room that I started to get a little emotional. I held it in but knowing that I was walking on the same ground the USMNT would be 48 hours later got to me, I was beyond amped. From here you walk down the tunnel as players would and then up a crazy, tight spiral staircase to field level. I’ve been in some impressive stadiums before but the sheer size of this building is impressive, especially at field level. I have some great pictures from here. After this you walk up into the stands where they have a 12th man bronze statue occupying a seat. You then go into some crappy food court that I’m not even sure was open when I was there but it had a cool statue of Maradona’s “Hand of God” goal among other memories in the stadium. That was the end of the tour and the stadium is easily accessible by Metro. I of course returned for the USA-Mexico WCQ’er which was insane. There ended up being 200-300 Americans who made the trip and we had our own section in the top corner of the stadium which was lined with riot police to separate us from the 90,000+ Mexicans in the stadium, great great experience.
o Being RVF I have to say how most of the fans bought a package through the American Outlaws which included hotel, transportation and tickets. I don’t feel I really need to say this here but don’t do this unless you really want to spend your time with a bunch of loser, beta Americans. Get your ticket through the federation and transportation (police escorting the buses) through the American Outlaws which left from their Marriot on Paseo de la Reforma and get your own place. It was definitely a surreal experience to have what I’m assuming were Mexican Riot police around us as we boarded the buses then give us an escort to the stadium. When we arrived at night you had this feeling that shit could go down but the police formed a passage for us from the buses into the stadium and again lined our stadium. This stopped many fights between the sets of fans but what it doesn’t stop is projectiles, it’s a wild experience that every USMNT fan should experience once in their lifetime! I definitely don’t recommend taking the Metro or visting The Angel of Independence after any USA-Mexico as your likely to find trouble.
o I returned to Azteca a few days later with my girl to watch Club America – Puebla, Puebla had two Americans playing for them at the time which was cool. I was a little worried about Mexicans starting shit with me at this game but everything was cool, normal sporting event vibe. We bought scalped tickets on the downlow as apparently the cops really look for that. The tickets looked shady with basically no info on them but my girl went through the turnstiles first and then I paid the man. I even saw an extremely fat American sporting a USMNT jersey outside the stadium and no one was giving him a hard time. Another cool experience, Puebla brought a couple thousand fans. I guess they don’t tip the beer vendors here because I got our first round of 16-24oz Coronas and gave the guy a couple extra pesos and he tried to return them to me. After I explained they were for him he was extremely grateful and kept looking out for us, even making a special last call visit to our seats. Far cry from the service you get in an American stadium. Azteca was amazing. After the game outside the stadium you can get a picture for a fee with a real eagle as that’s their mascot, pretty cool.
-Vuelos en Globo Aerostatico Teotihuacan – This was the coolest place I visited in DF. The pyramids are magnificent and it’s a place that puts into perspective what men are truly capable of. It’s a couple hours by the bus from the Estacion Autobuses del Norte station, walk all the way north in the station and look for the pyramid emblem, I believe it was 40 pesos each way. I don’t really remember how long it was besides being longer than I thought. I’d say between 2-3 hours with the stops to pick up more passengers. Can’t remember the cost of the entrance to the Pyramids but it was reasonable. I’d recommend getting some of your favorite Mexican fast foods in the bus terminal before leaving as it’s probably going to be a while before you eat again. After leaving the complex there’s a system where kids are trying to get you to visit their restaurant and then the cab driver will bring you. Be careful of where your go, in fact I would recommend not eating there or having the cab driver bring you where you goes. First place my girl and I were brought to was nothing more than a small shack with flys everywhere and stray dogs roaming the premises. Before our cab driver could leave we flagged him down and left with him, he had to pay the owners a fee for taking us elsewhere which I obviously reimbursed him for. Our cab driver was cool and waited for outside our restaurant for us to eat. After 5 minutes I had my girl invite him to sit and eat with us and it turned into a really cool night. I had good company, decent food and the sun setting behind a Pyramid, good times. Cab driver then drove us for free to the bus station and invited us to a party the following night; I was leaving the next day but paid him for the drive anyway. During one of our stops on the way back some cops boarded our bus looking for drugs in the overhead compartments.
-Floating Gardens of Xochimilco – There are 2 canal systems left from what used to span the entire DF, I believe these are the more impressive from what I’ve heard. I definitely recommend checking this out, really nice for a day with a chick. You have to take one of the Metro lines all the way south and then take a light-rail. The stop you get off at isn’t in the best neighborhood and there will be a lot of tour operators trying to sell you at higher rates. If you feel uncomfortable walking the ¼ mile? From the Metro to the canals then maybe cutting a deal with one of these guide operators is a good idea so you have an escort. My girl asked a man on the light-rail for directions and he said he was going the same way and could bring us, what luck! Seriously though he was nice and did bring us, we went through a fair with lots of food vendors on the way, and he got a nod from the canal operators acknowledging his cut. Before he left I bought him a beer or two for his help. I remember him raiding the vendors limes, makes you realize he probably had a pretty hard life. This was the first place I had “A michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers. It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.” I didn’t really care for the beer but my girl loved it, Canals were great for pictures and just chilling. We had our own boat for 250-300 pesos I think before tipping our Captain. I remember reading on this site to barter with these guys running the show but we came during a weekday and dude wasn’t budging from the posted price, even after we walked away saying it was too much. Vendors have their own boats to align yours on the canals pushing everything from beer to food to live music. It was more peaceful going during the day, romantic even but going with a group on the weekend would probably be best. We ate some supposedly special blue quesadillas my girl wanted; I was hesitant but hungry and had some. I either got a bad case of Montezuma’s revenge from this or my girl making instant coffee with tap water. I was holed up for 2 days just shitting and sleeping. I almost missed the soccer game I went there for, not fun.
-Parque Zoologico de Chapultepec – Another thing I did alone during the day, and for free. Nice zoo and has a little food court, no beer allowed past the foodcourt.
-I wasn’t too keen on going to a bullfight but I do wish I went to one of the wrestling shows, sounds like a blast. If you’re a soccer fan you should absolutely check out Azteca. I would have liked to go see a Cruz Azul game as well and their stadium is pretty close to Condesa, the bull-fighting arena is right next door.
Restaurants and Bars -
Glorieta de Vertiz - We had Tortas and a bunch of other dishes, I remember this being really good.
Casa de Tono - My girl really wanted me to try Pozole soup at here, it was good but nothing groundbreaking for me.
Hooters – it’s Hooters. Had cold beer and overpriced mediocre fish tacos.
El Tizoncito – I spoke about this chain before. I liked the food every time I went, staff was friendly with me and a decent spot to watch a game.
El Padrino – I think this was the name of a place near my girls apartment. I went here to watch Champions League soccer and eat a couple times, no complaints.
Pata Negra – Spoke about my time here before, was the best place to party I went to in DF. Monday and Tuesday seem to be dead with Wednesday a decent crowd, Thursday was my favorite night and Friday was shoulder to shoulder.
Celtics Pub Irlandes – Empty when I was here.
Wallace Whiskey Bar – Not my type of place.
You have to eat tacos al pastor in Mexico. Besides the server having skill slicing off the meat, onion and pineapple they are cheap and good. Best meal I had during my 24 days in Mexico was tacos al pastor at a corner stand near paseo de la reforma.
We went and played pool one night a local spot with one of her friends and while the other patrons didn’t say or do anything I was definitely the center of attention. When they were closing up shop I made it a point to walk ½ a block to catch a cab so we weren’t just standing outside the pool hall.
Impromptu trip to Acapulco – During my stay at my girls apartment she had a planned trip to Acapulco with friends so obviously I was down, her friend had a car and would drive us. This was one of those moments you think things could go wrong as we were doing 100mph in a car drinking with three people I didn’t know 5 days prior but of course everything was cool. Zero cops on the highways for speeding in Mexico and we just had toll booths every 40 or 50 miles if I had to guess. I think the trip took us 3-3.5 hours, I was a little bummed out we went at night as the scenery seemed to be really good as we were driving through the mountains.
We enter Acapulco and it’s a beach resort party town with lots of young people in cars coming in for the weekend and ready to party. Bonus of Acapulco is there are no open container laws but I had my girl double check with cops to make sure. I then had them take an obligatory fake arrest photo with me getting handcuffed. We were just kinda drinking on the sidewalk and walking around, her one friend disappeared into a Senor Frogs (?) to get coke. Apparently my girl made a reservation for an apartment and put money down, her friends decided they didn’t want to pay it and wanted to party on the beach and sleep there that night. I was like WTF? So we met up with some other friends, partied on the beach and were chilling when I had my second problem in Mexico.
We’re sitting there in a mixed group of 10 playing cards and I’m facing the ocean with my back to a group of twenty Mexicans that were 20-30 yards behind us. They apparently didn’t appreciate my presence there and someone threw a half-filled litre water bottle at me and instead hit on of the guys sleeping 10 feet away from me. I WAS FUCKING FUMING. I turned around onto my right knee with my right fist in the sand posturing towards them just wondering which of them was going to get it. Obviously my girl was already trying to hold me back and I believe the rest of my party starting yelling at the opposing group. In this instance I didn’t actually motion towards them or say anything but after it was over I repositioned myself so that I was facing them the enter time. I continued to play cards while staring straight at them; I was beyond ready for action. I later told my American friends about this and they started laughing because they’ve known me for a while and could picture this scenario perfectly. We ended up going to another part of the beach because my girl or her friends were uncomfortably. Two guys followed us after a while and started yelling shit to me as I was swimming in the bay solo. I was chilling and floating on my back while looking at the sky having another “yes, I want more of this in my life!” moment. My friends told them off and the dudes left. Swimming in the ocean with my girl under a bright moon was a nice moment, she still talks about it to this day. A little while later and the sun is starting to come up, I wanted to fuck my girl on the beach but there are clubs right there and people walking on the beach, she wanted it too. Our other friends slept for a bit but we stayed up. In the morning we went to a realtors office to get an apartment.
It’s 8am or whatever at the Realtors office; I’m still drunk, tired and they are taking forever so I’m starting to get impatient. I forget what bullshit her friends were trying to pull but I feel like they were trying to put one over on my girl(think it was paying equally and forgetting about her down payment) as she had the best job. I definitely wasn’t having it and laid into her male friend with my girl translating most of my diatribe for him. I demanded they pay my girl for the deposit she put down on the first place or we would get a spot of our own. I was suggesting we head to the nearest Starbucks and check out AirBnb as my girl was stupidly saying they don’t use AirBnb there (Not the first time I found Mexicans to be apathetic and unable to find or make decisions). They reluctantly paid. We then went to a gas station to find an apartment and sure enough there are people with brochures hawking apartments. We follow the guy and the apartment is fine, balcony with a view of Acapulco Bay. The apartment was like a 5 minute walk to main drag along the beach, I really can’t remember how much the 2 bedroom apartment was, maybe 100usd a night? I do remember minutes after we got the keys I was slamming that pussy, taking pictures and everything. We ignore the knocks and calls from her friends during sex, finally took a nap after sex.
The first day we went to the beach and found a nicer area where they had a cabana type setup but you had to reserve them and it was full so we got one for the next day. We ate and drank at the same spot but off the beach and at beachside tables/bar area. I wish I could remember the name of this place as they had 8’s and maybe up working there, Brazilian quality ass.
Went back to our apartment for the first night with plans of going out but our drunk neighbors from the floor above us walked into our apartment so I immediately invited them in and we had a party in or apartment that night. It helped that one of the chicks was pretty cute. Later that night she was really pushing up on me saying how Mexicans were losers and she needed an American. She was aggressive; showing me her tits when my girl couldn’t see, grabbing my ass, didn’t bang. We ended up having 2 or 3 other apartments in our apartment for this party, we just left the door open and it kind of becomes the spot to be at. Good night. As the party was dying down I started eyeing up this thicker girl with perky tits. She reminded me of a gymnast. Grabbed her ass when getting a beer with my girl watching but not able to see because of the counter. Real late now and my girl is passed out in our bed, like 3 people in our apartment and this gymnast girl leaves. I wait a minute and follow her. In her doorway I’m trying to tell her to come back up to party more and she wasn’t having it (she doesn’t speak a word of English). This is when I pulled her by the waist super close to me, an inch or two were separating our lips. I’m real serious/horny and looking down at her tank top which I pull forwards enough to reveal her nipple. I can confirm she wasn’t wearing a bra and they were very nice perky breasts. Can’t remember if I coped a feel or not but now I have a raging hard on and show her through my shorts and her whole demander changed in an instant. She went from being interested to seduced and needing to have that dick now! She was trying to pull me into her apartment. Now in hindsight I should have just gone and I regret it still but her brother was still in my apartment from the party. I was trying to get her out into the hallway and staircase for a quick bj and sure enough 1 minute later her brother came. I said some bs to her brother who did speak English and I peaced out. Next day they left and we all said our goodbyes, pretty awkward with her .
Following day we chilled at that beach in the cabana and drank and ate for 3-4 people all day for like 1,100 pesos. Other Mexican girls were telling my girl she should share when she went to the bathroom, crazy shit. The massage lady vendor bee lined for me and gave me a boner inducing shoulder and back massage for 10 minutes. My girl told her she was making her feel uncomfortable and I think the massage lady replied along the lines that she didn’t care and kept going. Didn’t charge for the massage.
One day we went to a beach that’s popular for drinking where there’s a big party at night. It was around a 120 peso cab ride from Acapulco Bay. I think it was at “The Beach Club”, Acapulco Diamante O Playa Diamante, Acapulco, Gro., Mexico. All the cab drivers will know where it is, south along the coast. We had our cab driver stop at a scenic pass along the cliffs and at a liquor store. Spent the day drinking at beach but it just wasn’t really my scene. Everyone’s packed in tight spaces and I was starting to get tired of being pointed out as the Gringo by passerby’s, bunch of trash all over the place at night. One of the dudes brought back a cutie with a fattie but she was probably just looking for a place to sleep and he was total beta who didn’t hit it even after she offered her ass on a platter to him. She passed out and he left to go to a club, WHY??? I fucked the shit out of my girl with her bent over the balcony; I then drank a beer and ate a hamburger while taking in the views. I thought about waking up the passed out cutie but decided it was too much risk, especially with most of my shit at my girls apartment in DF. Ended up drinking late with my girl’s one cool male friend, serious language barrier but we managed and had a good time before deciding to go out for tacos and more beer. This dude seriously looks and acts like Rob Schneider, fucking hilarious. During our walk to get tacos a van pulls up and a bitch jumps out to talk to me and practice English, haha. She wasn’t attractive so I was pleasant but short with her then while eating some gay dudes starting hitting on me through their 8 female companion who I of course tried to pursue but she wasn’t interested.
Acapulco was a nice change of pace from DF, especially from the weather I left in the North-East. I got waaay more attention in Acapulco than DF as a white, blue-eyed, blond, tall American. A bunch of times I was bummed out and still tried to pull something even while staying in an apartment with my girl. That goes for good and bad attention. On a solo beer run I dipped into a club to scope it out and as I was leaving some skinny little fuckers who were sitting on a nearby coach threw a beer bottle at me which broke by my feet. I look at the bouncer and said a bottle by my feet wasn’t any good but a bottle to my dome was where they should have hit me. I called them a bad name in Spanish and walked out half expecting them to follow but nothing happened. Due to the guy driving us there being a retard we had to take a bus back to DF which we got tickets for in the Walmart, 400 pesos each or so. This particular bus had the bathroom door locked which was bad news for me as I had been drinking and continued to drink on the bus, some girl ended up breaking down the door. Walking to the bus station I had multiple girls eye fucking me, one who was a 7.5 nineteen year old, that was difficult to walk by. Acapulco has normal public buses but then also has these fun party type buses with loud music and young ass kids driving them up and down the main strip. I got a kick out of that. This reminds me that anytime I took public transportation in Mexico, especially buses I would have little kids just staring at me in amazement. I didn’t mind little kids doing it and I would practice my Spanish with them, my girl thought it was cute.
Summary (TL![[Image: biggrin.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
R) – I had a great time in Mexico and can see myself returning one day. I felt exotic there and enjoyed this attention. You may get even more attention here if your black. Your money goes a long way, the food was good, the subway was easy to navigate and there are lots of things to do in DF. The air conditions in DF fucked with my sinuses and throat, these symptoms immediately cleared up when I went to Acapulco. If you’ve never been to Central or South America then prepare yourself for it to be much darker at night-time, the street lights are fewer and duller than the States.
There are going to be stunners anywhere you travel to but as a whole I was let down by the quality in Mexico. Personally I’m just not too attracted by their look and most are overweight and cube shaped. I was not using Tinder at the time which I think could have helped me overall. Other girls where shady as fuck when I was with my main girl and not shy about trying to steal me.
Total time in Mexico = 24 days, 2 bangs. My two bangs came in my first 4 days and then I shacked up with the second one for the rest of my now extended trip. She isn’t close to the hottest girl I’ve been with but she was cool, bilingual and a lot of fun to be around. My girl was probably a 6 but had a great fun attitude, loved me and treated me like a god. Brought me into her apartment, cooked, dressed up in costumes for me, showed me around, sex all the time, really no complaints. Don’t have much more to add to this, I now have a place to stay in DF anytime I want.
*I hope this wasn’t too hard to follow, I got a drunk a couple times while writing this report. Maybe I'll post some pictures later of the view from my Acapulco apartment and anything else of interest. I wrote this in Word and the formatting is all messed up.
BACKGROUND - I’m 5’11” (I felt 6’3” here), blue-eyed, blond-haired (although bald) with muscular build (admittedly not what I used to be) Irish-American. This was my first trip abroad completely solo for the purposes of traveling and experiencing new things on my own. I had a previous one day excursion into Mexico from a family cruise prior to this (shit-show that is a great story on its own). Looking back now I can say I admittedly was too paranoid and on guard in general before my trip and for my first few days in Mexico. I have always been someone who you didn’t want to have a physical confrontation with but nonetheless I had pretty bad public anxiety. I had less than a year of RVF under my belt before this and I would never have made the trip to DF if not for the informational threads on RVF, for that I thank everyone who is involved with the site. So I decided kind of last minute that I would head to Mexico City to watch the USA vs. Mexico World Cup Qualifier at famed Azteca Stadium. I tried to improve my Spanish before leaving but in the short time period I really only knew basic words and some basic phrases. I was early 30’s for this trip.
PLANNING - I’ve spoken before how I have a shit job in a Hospital but I have the freedom to schedule myself, well I believe I worked ten 12hr+ shifts in a row leading up to this trip. Lack of planning and time resulted in a $524 plane ticket direct from North-East USA with a return layover in Houston. I missed out on some better apartments on AirBnb but ended up stayed in Condesa on Campeche for 8 nights which ran me $511 after all fees not including the $400 security. This was a good spot close to two Metro stations, restaraunts, Starbucks and bars but I would recommend being closer to Parque Mexico or Parque Espana. Location was good and no problems bringing back girls even with the super’s door open most of the time as you enter the building. The building was designed so that the walkways/common areas of each floor were symmetrical and the noise really carried up, ESPECIALLY that big-ass, loud-ass barking dog that would be kept outside all-day starting at 7am, that wasn’t exactly fun after a late night of drinking. I had sketchy internet as well and while not ideal it was sufficient. Don’t think I was aware of or on Tinder but I wasted a lot of time on Badoo prior to this trip.
ARRIVAL - While going through customs I had a pretty little 20-something staring at me with a nice inviting smile, I was going to try and get her number but she got moved to a different spot before I could get to her. I noticed many people were eyeing me up and I’m sure part of that had to do with me sporting a USMNT jersey before a huge game vs. Mexico. After passing customs I exchanged $300usd at the best cambeo and they immediately shut down after me. I then tried to get a sim card for my Iphone4s at the Telcel shop next to Puerta 3 (good tip from RVF) which didn’t work because of my locked Verizon cell. I ended up getting a 220 Peso crap phone to make calls and text with, the lady in the store was very friendly and patient with me. I no longer have the cab info but I walked all the way left if facing the doors outside to grab a specific cab service, maroon and brown maybe? I believe my cab fare was around 160-220 Pesos to Condesa. I remember reading about taking the subway and wanting to save money but I firmly believe in spending the money on a cab for your arrival to just about anywhere. The heat, smog and car’s exhaust immediately hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t believe Mexico has car inspections or emission controls. Cab driver was cool, I tried speaking to him in Spanish a little about the game and city but we quickly ran out of topics to communicate about plus I was wide-eyed during the drive and taking pictures.
BEGINNING (Tuesday) – I can’t remember why but I couldn’t text/call my Airbnb host to let him know I was on the way, not too big of a deal as I had made arrangements for us to meet outside the apartment later on. I post up at El Tizoncito on the opposite corner which is a chain taco joint, bomb-ass tacos al pastor and some cheap Pacifico clara cerveja (my favorite in Mexico) so I’m good. By my third beer I’m wondering what exactly is going on, I try to get my man (wish I could remember his name because he was cool as fuck, actually I got some head-nod daps by bringing one broad back one night/morning) slinging them tacos al pastor to call the number for me and he couldn’t do it. Soon after I notice two guys loitering on the corner in front of the apartment and I’m blatantly making eye contact with them while being a Gringo with a large suitcase by my feet to no response. Turns out it is him but out of spite I had a couple more tacos and another beer before going over to find out.
At this point I hadn’t slept for something like 30 hours as I had been working night shift but I was on the prowl thanks to abstaining from masturbating for 7-8 days and daily ACV use. I showered and went out to pick up some beer and snacks for the apartment. Saw a faty across the street and made my first true foreign soil approach. Two girls who taught Pilates together or some shit, I tried to get them to come drink beers at my place but they insisted I go and pay for their class later that night, yeah right. Drank a couple beers in my apartment while working on my Badoo leads (again, waste of time) then decided in a sleep-deprived semi-drunken state (altitude) that it was a good time to go for a run around the city. I started off at a fast past thinking I would mash out a quick run before heading out for the night. Well I ended up crossing paths with a really cute 5’er and so I started talking to her and running with her but I was pretty fatigued by this point, the high pace combined with alcohol, altitude and smog did me in and even though she seemed receptive I stopped. Felt like a looser after a minute and went after her but couldn’t catch up again, lost opportunity.
I shower and use the internet when one of the Badoo girls seems down. I’m still getting dressed as she arrives so I go down to get her and we go back to my apartment where I offer her a beer. She doesn’t drink beer but apparently she lets her nice titties hang out, nips sometimes too which I gentlemanly pointed out. Now I admit I was genuinely nervous as fuck at this point. I think it was a combination of being fatigued, a new country, possessing little game or confidence and not being too sure about this girl. Well shortly after she said it didn’t matter if her nips were out I knew the deal. Down comes her shirt and she’s encouraging me to play with her nice tits while telling me she’s “a hundered” (I’m guessing that was her game to get 100usd after the fact instead of 100 Pesos) and that everything is good. I never have and never plan on paying for a whore so even though I had a raging hard-on I wasn’t playing that. This is where it gets interesting as she asks to use the bathroom and I stupidly allow her to, she takes longer than ususal. Now I’m thinking she could be instructing dudes to come to this address for me or whatever, I was also worried about her shoving my toothbrush up her ass or something. She gets returns now asking for cab money and I’m saying yeah right, little argument ensues where I’m saying you never said you were a prostitute, think I even threatened to call the cops and she proclaimed go ahead because this was her country, etc. At this point I’m realizing I just need to get this bitch out of my apartment so I convince/push her out with a faint promise of cab fare outside. I tell her we need to go to the ATM and then at the nearest corner I take a left and start bristly walking across the street without looking at her. Mistake on my part as she ninja crept up on me and fucking kicked me in my ass, hard. I turned around with the wrath of God and was ready to beat this hookers ass straight back into the nearest gutter but being in Mexico alone for the first night and a restaurant full of patrons who could and probably did view this I checked myself, turned away and kept walking in my original direction. This bitch was now yelling in English how I’m a piece of shit and she knows where I live, etc. Great.
At this point my adrenaline is through the roof and I’m eyeing up every single person I cross ready to throw down while periodically looking over my shoulder and thinking fuck Mexico. I dipped into a restaurant in Condesa that gave me some cover from the street in case this crazy bitch and her pimp were hunting me. While facing the entrance I calmed down while having some bomb-ass Mexican food.
From here I set out to find Pata Negra based of RVF’s advice, well I walked around Condesa a couple times (some people from inside a bar laughed at me the 2nd or 3rd time I past) as Pata Negra didn’t seem to have too much signage (it’s directly south and across the street from Parque Espana). I stopped into some Irish sports bar “Celtics Pub Irlandes” but besides a short conversation with the bartender and waitress there was nothing going on here. I believe I went into Wallace Whiskey Bar where there was a younger group of 10 or so affluent Mexicans in a group and no signs of being invited, I had 1 overpriced beer and left. I think I found Pata Negra and it was completely empty so I didn’t even have 1 beer, just left.
At this point I was a little down on DF as I went to have my first street food experience, empanadas? Cool setup and decent crowd got me to try it out. Looking back I fucked up as there was a 20-something alone eating and making herself available to talk, I never approached. Went home and passed out, fought the urge to jerk-off.
(Wednesday) – Nothing notable besides I went back out at night in my usual attire which was with leather shoes, slim/fitted jeans and a button down but this time I went to Pata Negra around 9-10pm. I remember kind of getting singled out by security at the door but I was cool and talked to them for a minute after, can’t remember but I may have threw the guy at the door a couple bucks (another RVF gem, be cool with staff, lock down spots). It wasn’t dead like the night before but wasn’t too packed either; I don’t remember the backroom being open. Opened two girls and was dancing with them but one’s breath was funky as all hell and I think we both lost interest. I made it a point not to linger too long and approached a random group of girls suggesting they teach me how to dance to Mexican music. At this point I had 2 beers from my previous interaction and the girl I originally eyed up to approach spoke English (teacher). So we’re dancing, I give her a beer and while I wasn’t originally planning on staying long with her I realize I’m more attracted to her than I originally thought. My jeans didn’t do a good job of hiding my erection and she soon also knew how attracted to her I was. Now she had a less attractive friend with a better body who I purposely made time to dance with and separate myself from the first girl (again, thanks RVF). This second girl was not shy about trying to steal me away from first girl. She was grinding on my erection, telling me she likes me, at one point I tried getting her number on the sly but she didn’t put it in right or without area codes or something. She even tried to get me to leave with her right in front of the first girl. I regret never fucking the second girl.
Now it’s me and first girl as a “couple”, lots of kissing, smiling, ass grabbing, she’s basically having a blast. I get her to walk out with me at one point but she has to go back into the club because of her friends. Her friends leave and I’m trying everything I can to get her back but she has work early and says maybe tomorrow. Fuck. Again go home and pass out, fight the urge to jerkoff.
(Thursday) – I woke up and someone was going to be fucked this day for sure… During the day I went to Chapultepec Park to check it out and game. I had read here that you’re not going to find anything except super fat housewives with their families, I went anyway. Well, super fat, cubed housewives were exactly what I found. There is a bunch of vendors selling bullshit food and bullshit touristy crap. The castle was cool though (went later with a girl), I also went to the museum of Anthropology across the street. The park is a cool place to bring a girl, not to find one.
After the park I wandered down la Reforma where almost immediately I had some bum start aggressively yelling at me solely because I was a Gringo, good times. Checked out El Angel de la Independencia which is beautiful and a great photo opportunity. At this point I was on a nearby bench texting the girl from the previous night and I had her meet me at Pata Negra later that night. I see a fly voluptuous girl pass me and I follow suit. Right away at the crosswalk I tell her how good she smells and thanks her but there is a serious language barrier. We end up walking hand in hand; I’m hard the whole time, where she meets her gay friend. She gives me her work number, saying she doesn’t have a cell. Nothing came of it, I don’t think she was too interested honestly.
After this I’m borrowing a nearby store’s wifi as a group of girls went by my giggling at me. Took me a minute but I caught up and tried talking about a nearby rooftop bar I was looking for, again language barrier and nothing. I felt more like a novelty item to them. Shortly after I walked into the hotel to scope out the rooftop bar, only problem was there wasn’t one. I walk around the corner onto Rio Lema where I have an amazing street taco and then see a Hooters and figure why not… Now I was actively avoiding anything American at this point but this turned out to be a good time. Sit at the far-end of the downstairs bar, near the service bar section. I immediately had a bartender infatuated with me (I should have left with her, she even said through Google Translate that we should hang out, nowadays I wouldn’t need any more of an invitation but at the time I wanted a different bartender) and I made sure to sit at the bar near the waitresses service area so they all got a good look at me. I was told they all thought I was very handsome, I believe I got 3 numbers here. Only bad part besides the overpriced beer and food was some older guy with some admittedly cool Rock n Roll stories wanted to keep talking when I was trying to run game. He was cool though, we bought each other beers and shots. I was assured this Hooters would be showing the USMNT vs Costa Rica WCQ’er the following day. Oh yeah, the manager was probably 38 with what looked a really nice set of fake tits and fake ass on her. The girls that worked there were probably 7’s on average but seemed genuinely friendly and interested in me.
I overstay my scheduled time at Hooters and now I’m going to be late to meet this girl who seemed like a sure thing at Pata Negra so I grab a cab when I would have usually taken the Metro and I tipped him way too much in a happy drunken state even though he can’t even find the fucking club. There was a line to get into Pata Negra so I walk up to the front of the line even though I feel like a dousche doing it so I can speak to the thankfully same doorman, he lets me up no problem. He honestly seemed just as happy to see me and be associated with an American as I was to have him let me in ahead of the line. I get in, scope it out and I have to say Pata Negra on a Thursday was pretty fucking cool. I’m not a club guy but the DJ was playing surprisingly good older hip-hop/rap which is right up my alley, good crowd, same bartender remembered me from the previous night, life was good. Except this dumb bitch who called me saying how she couldn’t find a parking spot and was going to go home,,,what? So I leave the club and she meets me out front where I jump in her car and park it 5 blocks away. We go back to the line and I pull the same shit by walking to the front, doorman gives me dap and a nod. The whole thing was smooth as fuck, like out of a movie.
From here it was kinda standard especially as she had been drinking with a friend prior. Drinks, little dancing, then it was chilling on the couches having her dance in front of me and give me semi-lap dances, making fun of dudes passed out on the coaches, some head-nods were exchanged with some other real dudes who were handling there business, people were smoking weed in there, just a good fucking time man. I was really digging it. She’s drunk and I’m ready to leave, she agrees to leave. I’m trying to hide my boner as I walk down the spiral staircase while also making sure she doesn’t slip or whatever, say peace to the doorman and we’re walking to my apartment without mentioning it. Then she brought up her car and how it was late and this and that and I think I first tried to reason with her. That she had been drinking, not safe to drive and that she could leave in the morning. But that’s when I had a little RVF fairy on my shoulder saying “don’t reason, seduce her!” and then I laid a passionate but pulling back kiss on her all the while my erection was firmly up against her thigh/hip. She caved instantaneously.
Something funny, unique and possibly detrimental to use having sex happened as we were taking off our clothes. I won’t explain so to not expose my identity but I powered through it and stayed in the moment….. I wasn’t going to say it but I briefly dislocated my shoulder as I was taking my shirt off on the bed. After a brief grimace I played it off, didn’t mention it and got on with business.
This chick was 31 at the time and while I probably wouldn’t approach her now but she gave me the best sex of my life at the time, by far. Her body was thinner with a better shape than I had anticipated and her tits were bigger and nicer. She was one of these conservative girls who dressed down but once the clothes came off she was an animal. Her pussy was fucking amazing and rode my dick soo hard and deep that she bruised something in my lower abdomen/pelvic region which affected me for days. Plus she was speaking Spanish while doing it, had me say some Spanish shit to which she responded to in ecstasy. It’s like 2-4am and were having wild drunk sex and she’s saying how my dick and her pussy were made for each other and she might have been right. The whole thing was one of those “This is the shit, yes I want more of this in my life moments”… I pull off the condom to bust in her face and I think she was hesitant to take it. Maybe she scooped it up off the sheets and into her mouth, I can’t remember if that was her or the next one. Not long after we’re spooning trying to go to sleep when I realized I need to have her again and I’m getting hard again. Put her hand on my hard dick and she was all surprised “really”, guess it was a fast turnaround. This time I got on top of her and started rubbing my cock against her pussy without a condom and got her going. Let her know I was going to put it in bareback and she acted like she was protesting but after I said trust me she changed her mind. Shit was soo perfect I busted pretty fast.
Couple hours later her alarm goes off and we both wake up pretty hungover. She needs help finding all her clothes but I kiss her, tell her we’ll talk later when all I’m really interested in is my bed after she leaves. 20 minutes later my POS Mexican phone is ringing and she’s crying on the other end because she can’t find her car and saying some other dramatic bullshit… Really? Fuck it, realize I actually have to help this retarded bitch even after I tell her where her car is. Again, another gem from RVF because in the past I probably would not have handled this as calmly and smoothly as I did. It was probably funny as fuck as a walk of shame for the shopkeepers/locals though.
(Friday) – Gameday, USA vs. Costa Rica WCQ, I’m amped to watch even though I’m 3,000 miles away. Can’t remember exactly why but I was rushing to get to Hooters in time for the game, think I took a “starbucks walk through the park clear your mind before a big game like the pros moment”. Anyway I get to Hooters and I’m kinda sweating a little and just ready for some cold beer and the game. Turns out the dumb bitch at Hooters was totally wrong and the game wasn’t being shown ANYWHERE in Mexico, surprise surprise. I’m definitely a little but I immediately run through all my options so I have a waitress give me their wifi and I get a friend’s watchespn info from the states in 5 minutes tops. I think I’m all set but watchespn won’t work in Mexico, oh well I tried right? Have drinks, make friends by Mexicans mainly opening me because I’m wearing a USMNT jersey and there all surprised I’m actually going to the game on Tuesday at Azteca. USA wins a wild one for the ages in a bad Denver snowstorm.
I have plans to meet my girl from the previous night again at Pata Negra but by the time I leave Hooters the Metro was closed and I didn’t want to spend money on a tax I again so I walked from la Reforma to Pata Negra. Some gay dude tried to pick me up along the way but I never stop walking and he wasn’t out of line so no sweat of my back. I’m definitely drunk at this point but kinda enjoying the walk, the architecture, these are the solo moments I’ve since come to cherish while travelling.
Until I walk past a crowd outside a club while wearing my USMNT jersey… I swear to this day that some faggot bitch flung a cigarette butt against my back after I walked past them. It’s possible it was a fucking acorn, leaf, me imagining some shit but I highly doubt it… I immediately stop in my tracks, turn around while scanning the crowd and pick out the most likely culprit when I start pointing at him asking in a not soo friendly way if it was him. Dude played dumb but I’m still convinced it was him, I thought about pressuring him some more but acknowledged that one Gringo vs. 30+ Mexicans outside a club probably wasn’t the smartest idea I ever had. After this it was shirt off, walking in the shadows with bad intentions. Thankfully nothing happened but sometimes I can’t help myself, I go into Bam-Bam mode.
I was late to Pata Negra so I didn’t take the extra 45 minutes to go to my place and shower/change, I walked into a packed Mexican club on the “eve” of a huge game while wearing my USMNT jersey. I go in and am definitely getting a lot of looks, not all of which were too friendly. Even my bartender wasn’t having it as we were now enemies with USA vs. Mexico the next day and a couple days away. Whatever. I do a walkthrough in the club looking for my broad, nothing. I go and post up at the bar for a minute where there’s space, it’s pretty much shoulder to shoulder in the club which I’m not a fan of. A group of dudes started rubbing or pushing up on me. At this point I’m not in the friendliest of moods, while also being aware of my phone and money in my pocket… I slightly reposition myself so it shouldn’t happen again and then it happens again but more aggressively and now I’m pretty sure I can see them laughing. I full on push and extend my arm through this clown’s black while staring directly at his friends and then him. After he regains his balance he turns towards me and postures up, I’m obviously thinking it’s going down just as a Mexican girl comes in-between us and talks to them briefly and then brings me to the back section of the club.
This girl speaks English, has nice tits on display, friendly, high energy, she’s fun. We are one beer deep together and dancing off to the side when my girl from the previous night finally comes in. I’m pretty hammered at this point and I didn’t think she was going to show up. I try to act like I didn’t see her first but it’s no use as she approaches us. I THINK she tried talking to me normally but I was saying how she was late, etc, I was definitely a bit of a dick and would have handled it differently now. She left and came back 1 minute later, like she really wasn’t ready to let it go saying “I came here for you” and my response was “I don’t know” as my new girl was hanging on me, she said you don’t know? And I was drunk enough and not giving a fuck enough so I replied “I don’t know” again… Looking back I could have maneuvered it to have both but I wasn’t thinking or was just too drunk. First girl was genuinely hurt, saying she really liked me, I believed her.
Rest of night me and 2nd girl have a great time, lots of drinking and dancing. I start talking about her coming to my place when she says she’s not sure because she came with friends. At some point her male friend was leaving but he was classy enough to suggest I give him money to have her, right in front of her. Needless to say he didn’t get shit and after he left I knew it was game on with 2nd girl. After the club she brought me to a nearby restaurant to eat. This place had a legit mariachi band and she picked out the best authentic Mexican grub they had for me. We sat in the second story balcony where we were kissing, laughing, taking pictures and she was rubbing my cock under the table, she paid. No LMR as the sun was coming up and we were walking back to my apartment. The sex wasn’t nearly as good as the 1st girl and her body was worse than I expected but she liked to suck cock and we fucked for hours, mostly due to whiskey dick and her pussy… You can’t win them all.
(Saturday-on) – This girl went home for a couple hours and came back to initiate a blowjob as I listened to BIGGIE and drank beer on the couch, I would stop her to go get me another beer when I was ready for one. This was another one of my “Yes, I want more of this in my life moments!”
So at this point my first girl stopped replying to me after I was a complete dick to her and I spent a couple days with this 2nd girl. I then paid $200 to push back my flight an additional 2 weeks and I stayed in her apartment in DF, not a bad setup. She said I could stay as long as I wanted.
First night I slept there we drank heavy the night before and she was waking me up clattering shit in the morning as she got ready for work. I remember getting pissed as it was happening because she was waking me up and then I awoke to a plate of eggs, pancakes, whatever else she cooked covered in plates on her dresser and lipstick message on the mirror saying it was the best weekend of her life… Rest of the trip I stayed with her; believe she lived on Calz de Tlalpan near Xola Metro station. This was was more of a working class neighborhood than Condesa and besides some bum yelling at me one morning I had no problems. Although late one night I was getting beer by myself and I noticed a cop car just chilling on the side of the road 2 blocks back from where I came and I didn’t want to risk them potentially doing something so I took a detour to avoid them. Late at night you can still get beer and anything else you want from their convenience store but it’s done through a revolving window so you don’t actually step into the store.
Places I remember going to in DF –
-National Museum of Anthropology (Museo Nacional de Antropologia) – Definitely interesting, I went solo and didn’t pay for a guide. There is lots and lots of things to check out in this museum, you could easily be there for a whole day if you wanted. I’m not a big museum guy but I spent a couple hours here and enjoyed it, a lot of cool artifacts. I think it was 57 pesos, I remember they didn’t have change for my large bill.
-Chapultepec Castle – There’s a tram you can pay for to bring you to the base, me and my girl walked. Your walking uphill and some nice spots for photo ops but you probably don’t want to do it if your obese. I really enjoyed this and there are some great views of the city. I think we were one of the first 10 people they let in for free because it was getting late, maybe under an hour before closing.
-Palacio de Bellas Artes – I didn’t enter but I walked past during one of my wandering sessions, I stopped long enough to take a couple pictures. Beautiful on the outside
-Paseo de la Reforma – Mentioned this landmark earlier, absolutely worth seeing. I copied this from TripAdvisor for “The Angel of Independence”.
-Metropolitan Cathedral (Catedral Metropolitana) – I’m not a religious man but this Church was pretty impressive, in Zocalo square and free to enter.
-National Palace (Palacio Nacional) – Again in Zocalo, I didn’t enter.
-Zocalo – Main square that every city has, Metro station, when I was here they had a NFL kick, run and pass type thing setup which was disappointing but it’s a must visit. One of those places with lots of touristy things going on and other destinations nearby. You get a real sense of history when standing in the square. This is possible an underrated gaming location, I felt like I saw above average women here and fellow tourists are always an option. I had serious IOI’s from a milf (?) with her mother while checking out a model of Xochimilco (NE corner of Zocalo?) and had English speaking Mexican college students approach me for a college project but neither were too attractive. This is where you get touristy trinkets and pictures if you desire.
-Chapultepec Park – Spoke about this earlier but it’s worth checking out, and pretty big. Big lake with paddle boats, nice view of some skyscrapers from benches next to the lake “Lago del Bosque de Chapultepec”, good spot to chill with a girl for a bit and people watch. Near here there is a clown who gets a large crowd and I stopped to watch when I first went solo. He’s doing his thing with a microphone and portable speaker when he eventually spots me and wants to make me a part of his show as the only Gringo there. I don’t speak enough Spanish for this and didn’t want to be the butt of anyone’s joke in front of a couple hundred people. It didn’t help that he had the crowd laughing after I replied to his question of where my residence was. Looking back if I was with a girl I probably would have been more good-natured and went along with it but I didn’t see the point and wasn’t feeling it. When I walked away a man with his girl told me the clown wasn’t making fun of me and we got to talking about my trip. He gave me a great tip to get a hat before I visited Teotihuacan which was a priceless piece of advice for a bald man. I still have the bucket hat I bought in the park after his advice. Again lots of touristy, large park type of stuff with lots of vendors and street performers.
-Monumento y Museo de la Revolucion – Near Paseo de la Reforma , I came across this during one of my travels. Cool light/fountain thing going on in front, good photo op.
-Estadio Azteca – Ahhh here we go. I’m a soccer man so this was really cool for me. One of (now, it was the only when I visited) 2 stadiums in the world to host two World Cup Final games, the capacity is now around 103,000. I took a tour of the stadium 2 days prior to the USA – Mexico WCQ’er, I believe it was close to 80 pesos per person. Me and my girl had a Spanish speaking tour guide all to ourselves which was fine for me as my girl translated but I got the feeling at times that the tour guide may have been getting impatient, tour guide was cute. For the tour itself they show you some plaques outside the stadium and then you walk down a service tunnel which is adorned with banners of famous events held in the stadium and plaques with the more famous soccer players to have provided special moments in the stadium. There is even a small prayer room for the players and I can’t remember why but the Pope had it changed, or maybe built, before he would visit the stadium. From here we were led into the Home team locker room, which is usually Club America but in 2 days this was to be the USA’s locker room because of a sponsorship difference between Club America and the Mexican National Team (Nike/Adidas). In Club America’s dressing room you can’t take pictures but they have a photographer come in to charge you for a picture, I wasn’t having it. I was soo amped for this game and inside my own head in this locker room that I started to get a little emotional. I held it in but knowing that I was walking on the same ground the USMNT would be 48 hours later got to me, I was beyond amped. From here you walk down the tunnel as players would and then up a crazy, tight spiral staircase to field level. I’ve been in some impressive stadiums before but the sheer size of this building is impressive, especially at field level. I have some great pictures from here. After this you walk up into the stands where they have a 12th man bronze statue occupying a seat. You then go into some crappy food court that I’m not even sure was open when I was there but it had a cool statue of Maradona’s “Hand of God” goal among other memories in the stadium. That was the end of the tour and the stadium is easily accessible by Metro. I of course returned for the USA-Mexico WCQ’er which was insane. There ended up being 200-300 Americans who made the trip and we had our own section in the top corner of the stadium which was lined with riot police to separate us from the 90,000+ Mexicans in the stadium, great great experience.
o Being RVF I have to say how most of the fans bought a package through the American Outlaws which included hotel, transportation and tickets. I don’t feel I really need to say this here but don’t do this unless you really want to spend your time with a bunch of loser, beta Americans. Get your ticket through the federation and transportation (police escorting the buses) through the American Outlaws which left from their Marriot on Paseo de la Reforma and get your own place. It was definitely a surreal experience to have what I’m assuming were Mexican Riot police around us as we boarded the buses then give us an escort to the stadium. When we arrived at night you had this feeling that shit could go down but the police formed a passage for us from the buses into the stadium and again lined our stadium. This stopped many fights between the sets of fans but what it doesn’t stop is projectiles, it’s a wild experience that every USMNT fan should experience once in their lifetime! I definitely don’t recommend taking the Metro or visting The Angel of Independence after any USA-Mexico as your likely to find trouble.
o I returned to Azteca a few days later with my girl to watch Club America – Puebla, Puebla had two Americans playing for them at the time which was cool. I was a little worried about Mexicans starting shit with me at this game but everything was cool, normal sporting event vibe. We bought scalped tickets on the downlow as apparently the cops really look for that. The tickets looked shady with basically no info on them but my girl went through the turnstiles first and then I paid the man. I even saw an extremely fat American sporting a USMNT jersey outside the stadium and no one was giving him a hard time. Another cool experience, Puebla brought a couple thousand fans. I guess they don’t tip the beer vendors here because I got our first round of 16-24oz Coronas and gave the guy a couple extra pesos and he tried to return them to me. After I explained they were for him he was extremely grateful and kept looking out for us, even making a special last call visit to our seats. Far cry from the service you get in an American stadium. Azteca was amazing. After the game outside the stadium you can get a picture for a fee with a real eagle as that’s their mascot, pretty cool.
-Vuelos en Globo Aerostatico Teotihuacan – This was the coolest place I visited in DF. The pyramids are magnificent and it’s a place that puts into perspective what men are truly capable of. It’s a couple hours by the bus from the Estacion Autobuses del Norte station, walk all the way north in the station and look for the pyramid emblem, I believe it was 40 pesos each way. I don’t really remember how long it was besides being longer than I thought. I’d say between 2-3 hours with the stops to pick up more passengers. Can’t remember the cost of the entrance to the Pyramids but it was reasonable. I’d recommend getting some of your favorite Mexican fast foods in the bus terminal before leaving as it’s probably going to be a while before you eat again. After leaving the complex there’s a system where kids are trying to get you to visit their restaurant and then the cab driver will bring you. Be careful of where your go, in fact I would recommend not eating there or having the cab driver bring you where you goes. First place my girl and I were brought to was nothing more than a small shack with flys everywhere and stray dogs roaming the premises. Before our cab driver could leave we flagged him down and left with him, he had to pay the owners a fee for taking us elsewhere which I obviously reimbursed him for. Our cab driver was cool and waited for outside our restaurant for us to eat. After 5 minutes I had my girl invite him to sit and eat with us and it turned into a really cool night. I had good company, decent food and the sun setting behind a Pyramid, good times. Cab driver then drove us for free to the bus station and invited us to a party the following night; I was leaving the next day but paid him for the drive anyway. During one of our stops on the way back some cops boarded our bus looking for drugs in the overhead compartments.
-Floating Gardens of Xochimilco – There are 2 canal systems left from what used to span the entire DF, I believe these are the more impressive from what I’ve heard. I definitely recommend checking this out, really nice for a day with a chick. You have to take one of the Metro lines all the way south and then take a light-rail. The stop you get off at isn’t in the best neighborhood and there will be a lot of tour operators trying to sell you at higher rates. If you feel uncomfortable walking the ¼ mile? From the Metro to the canals then maybe cutting a deal with one of these guide operators is a good idea so you have an escort. My girl asked a man on the light-rail for directions and he said he was going the same way and could bring us, what luck! Seriously though he was nice and did bring us, we went through a fair with lots of food vendors on the way, and he got a nod from the canal operators acknowledging his cut. Before he left I bought him a beer or two for his help. I remember him raiding the vendors limes, makes you realize he probably had a pretty hard life. This was the first place I had “A michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]) is a Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers. It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass.” I didn’t really care for the beer but my girl loved it, Canals were great for pictures and just chilling. We had our own boat for 250-300 pesos I think before tipping our Captain. I remember reading on this site to barter with these guys running the show but we came during a weekday and dude wasn’t budging from the posted price, even after we walked away saying it was too much. Vendors have their own boats to align yours on the canals pushing everything from beer to food to live music. It was more peaceful going during the day, romantic even but going with a group on the weekend would probably be best. We ate some supposedly special blue quesadillas my girl wanted; I was hesitant but hungry and had some. I either got a bad case of Montezuma’s revenge from this or my girl making instant coffee with tap water. I was holed up for 2 days just shitting and sleeping. I almost missed the soccer game I went there for, not fun.
-Parque Zoologico de Chapultepec – Another thing I did alone during the day, and for free. Nice zoo and has a little food court, no beer allowed past the foodcourt.
-I wasn’t too keen on going to a bullfight but I do wish I went to one of the wrestling shows, sounds like a blast. If you’re a soccer fan you should absolutely check out Azteca. I would have liked to go see a Cruz Azul game as well and their stadium is pretty close to Condesa, the bull-fighting arena is right next door.
Restaurants and Bars -
Glorieta de Vertiz - We had Tortas and a bunch of other dishes, I remember this being really good.
Casa de Tono - My girl really wanted me to try Pozole soup at here, it was good but nothing groundbreaking for me.
Hooters – it’s Hooters. Had cold beer and overpriced mediocre fish tacos.
El Tizoncito – I spoke about this chain before. I liked the food every time I went, staff was friendly with me and a decent spot to watch a game.
El Padrino – I think this was the name of a place near my girls apartment. I went here to watch Champions League soccer and eat a couple times, no complaints.
Pata Negra – Spoke about my time here before, was the best place to party I went to in DF. Monday and Tuesday seem to be dead with Wednesday a decent crowd, Thursday was my favorite night and Friday was shoulder to shoulder.
Celtics Pub Irlandes – Empty when I was here.
Wallace Whiskey Bar – Not my type of place.
You have to eat tacos al pastor in Mexico. Besides the server having skill slicing off the meat, onion and pineapple they are cheap and good. Best meal I had during my 24 days in Mexico was tacos al pastor at a corner stand near paseo de la reforma.
We went and played pool one night a local spot with one of her friends and while the other patrons didn’t say or do anything I was definitely the center of attention. When they were closing up shop I made it a point to walk ½ a block to catch a cab so we weren’t just standing outside the pool hall.
Impromptu trip to Acapulco – During my stay at my girls apartment she had a planned trip to Acapulco with friends so obviously I was down, her friend had a car and would drive us. This was one of those moments you think things could go wrong as we were doing 100mph in a car drinking with three people I didn’t know 5 days prior but of course everything was cool. Zero cops on the highways for speeding in Mexico and we just had toll booths every 40 or 50 miles if I had to guess. I think the trip took us 3-3.5 hours, I was a little bummed out we went at night as the scenery seemed to be really good as we were driving through the mountains.
We enter Acapulco and it’s a beach resort party town with lots of young people in cars coming in for the weekend and ready to party. Bonus of Acapulco is there are no open container laws but I had my girl double check with cops to make sure. I then had them take an obligatory fake arrest photo with me getting handcuffed. We were just kinda drinking on the sidewalk and walking around, her one friend disappeared into a Senor Frogs (?) to get coke. Apparently my girl made a reservation for an apartment and put money down, her friends decided they didn’t want to pay it and wanted to party on the beach and sleep there that night. I was like WTF? So we met up with some other friends, partied on the beach and were chilling when I had my second problem in Mexico.
We’re sitting there in a mixed group of 10 playing cards and I’m facing the ocean with my back to a group of twenty Mexicans that were 20-30 yards behind us. They apparently didn’t appreciate my presence there and someone threw a half-filled litre water bottle at me and instead hit on of the guys sleeping 10 feet away from me. I WAS FUCKING FUMING. I turned around onto my right knee with my right fist in the sand posturing towards them just wondering which of them was going to get it. Obviously my girl was already trying to hold me back and I believe the rest of my party starting yelling at the opposing group. In this instance I didn’t actually motion towards them or say anything but after it was over I repositioned myself so that I was facing them the enter time. I continued to play cards while staring straight at them; I was beyond ready for action. I later told my American friends about this and they started laughing because they’ve known me for a while and could picture this scenario perfectly. We ended up going to another part of the beach because my girl or her friends were uncomfortably. Two guys followed us after a while and started yelling shit to me as I was swimming in the bay solo. I was chilling and floating on my back while looking at the sky having another “yes, I want more of this in my life!” moment. My friends told them off and the dudes left. Swimming in the ocean with my girl under a bright moon was a nice moment, she still talks about it to this day. A little while later and the sun is starting to come up, I wanted to fuck my girl on the beach but there are clubs right there and people walking on the beach, she wanted it too. Our other friends slept for a bit but we stayed up. In the morning we went to a realtors office to get an apartment.
It’s 8am or whatever at the Realtors office; I’m still drunk, tired and they are taking forever so I’m starting to get impatient. I forget what bullshit her friends were trying to pull but I feel like they were trying to put one over on my girl(think it was paying equally and forgetting about her down payment) as she had the best job. I definitely wasn’t having it and laid into her male friend with my girl translating most of my diatribe for him. I demanded they pay my girl for the deposit she put down on the first place or we would get a spot of our own. I was suggesting we head to the nearest Starbucks and check out AirBnb as my girl was stupidly saying they don’t use AirBnb there (Not the first time I found Mexicans to be apathetic and unable to find or make decisions). They reluctantly paid. We then went to a gas station to find an apartment and sure enough there are people with brochures hawking apartments. We follow the guy and the apartment is fine, balcony with a view of Acapulco Bay. The apartment was like a 5 minute walk to main drag along the beach, I really can’t remember how much the 2 bedroom apartment was, maybe 100usd a night? I do remember minutes after we got the keys I was slamming that pussy, taking pictures and everything. We ignore the knocks and calls from her friends during sex, finally took a nap after sex.
The first day we went to the beach and found a nicer area where they had a cabana type setup but you had to reserve them and it was full so we got one for the next day. We ate and drank at the same spot but off the beach and at beachside tables/bar area. I wish I could remember the name of this place as they had 8’s and maybe up working there, Brazilian quality ass.
Went back to our apartment for the first night with plans of going out but our drunk neighbors from the floor above us walked into our apartment so I immediately invited them in and we had a party in or apartment that night. It helped that one of the chicks was pretty cute. Later that night she was really pushing up on me saying how Mexicans were losers and she needed an American. She was aggressive; showing me her tits when my girl couldn’t see, grabbing my ass, didn’t bang. We ended up having 2 or 3 other apartments in our apartment for this party, we just left the door open and it kind of becomes the spot to be at. Good night. As the party was dying down I started eyeing up this thicker girl with perky tits. She reminded me of a gymnast. Grabbed her ass when getting a beer with my girl watching but not able to see because of the counter. Real late now and my girl is passed out in our bed, like 3 people in our apartment and this gymnast girl leaves. I wait a minute and follow her. In her doorway I’m trying to tell her to come back up to party more and she wasn’t having it (she doesn’t speak a word of English). This is when I pulled her by the waist super close to me, an inch or two were separating our lips. I’m real serious/horny and looking down at her tank top which I pull forwards enough to reveal her nipple. I can confirm she wasn’t wearing a bra and they were very nice perky breasts. Can’t remember if I coped a feel or not but now I have a raging hard on and show her through my shorts and her whole demander changed in an instant. She went from being interested to seduced and needing to have that dick now! She was trying to pull me into her apartment. Now in hindsight I should have just gone and I regret it still but her brother was still in my apartment from the party. I was trying to get her out into the hallway and staircase for a quick bj and sure enough 1 minute later her brother came. I said some bs to her brother who did speak English and I peaced out. Next day they left and we all said our goodbyes, pretty awkward with her .
Following day we chilled at that beach in the cabana and drank and ate for 3-4 people all day for like 1,100 pesos. Other Mexican girls were telling my girl she should share when she went to the bathroom, crazy shit. The massage lady vendor bee lined for me and gave me a boner inducing shoulder and back massage for 10 minutes. My girl told her she was making her feel uncomfortable and I think the massage lady replied along the lines that she didn’t care and kept going. Didn’t charge for the massage.
One day we went to a beach that’s popular for drinking where there’s a big party at night. It was around a 120 peso cab ride from Acapulco Bay. I think it was at “The Beach Club”, Acapulco Diamante O Playa Diamante, Acapulco, Gro., Mexico. All the cab drivers will know where it is, south along the coast. We had our cab driver stop at a scenic pass along the cliffs and at a liquor store. Spent the day drinking at beach but it just wasn’t really my scene. Everyone’s packed in tight spaces and I was starting to get tired of being pointed out as the Gringo by passerby’s, bunch of trash all over the place at night. One of the dudes brought back a cutie with a fattie but she was probably just looking for a place to sleep and he was total beta who didn’t hit it even after she offered her ass on a platter to him. She passed out and he left to go to a club, WHY??? I fucked the shit out of my girl with her bent over the balcony; I then drank a beer and ate a hamburger while taking in the views. I thought about waking up the passed out cutie but decided it was too much risk, especially with most of my shit at my girls apartment in DF. Ended up drinking late with my girl’s one cool male friend, serious language barrier but we managed and had a good time before deciding to go out for tacos and more beer. This dude seriously looks and acts like Rob Schneider, fucking hilarious. During our walk to get tacos a van pulls up and a bitch jumps out to talk to me and practice English, haha. She wasn’t attractive so I was pleasant but short with her then while eating some gay dudes starting hitting on me through their 8 female companion who I of course tried to pursue but she wasn’t interested.
Acapulco was a nice change of pace from DF, especially from the weather I left in the North-East. I got waaay more attention in Acapulco than DF as a white, blue-eyed, blond, tall American. A bunch of times I was bummed out and still tried to pull something even while staying in an apartment with my girl. That goes for good and bad attention. On a solo beer run I dipped into a club to scope it out and as I was leaving some skinny little fuckers who were sitting on a nearby coach threw a beer bottle at me which broke by my feet. I look at the bouncer and said a bottle by my feet wasn’t any good but a bottle to my dome was where they should have hit me. I called them a bad name in Spanish and walked out half expecting them to follow but nothing happened. Due to the guy driving us there being a retard we had to take a bus back to DF which we got tickets for in the Walmart, 400 pesos each or so. This particular bus had the bathroom door locked which was bad news for me as I had been drinking and continued to drink on the bus, some girl ended up breaking down the door. Walking to the bus station I had multiple girls eye fucking me, one who was a 7.5 nineteen year old, that was difficult to walk by. Acapulco has normal public buses but then also has these fun party type buses with loud music and young ass kids driving them up and down the main strip. I got a kick out of that. This reminds me that anytime I took public transportation in Mexico, especially buses I would have little kids just staring at me in amazement. I didn’t mind little kids doing it and I would practice my Spanish with them, my girl thought it was cute.
Summary (TL
R) – I had a great time in Mexico and can see myself returning one day. I felt exotic there and enjoyed this attention. You may get even more attention here if your black. Your money goes a long way, the food was good, the subway was easy to navigate and there are lots of things to do in DF. The air conditions in DF fucked with my sinuses and throat, these symptoms immediately cleared up when I went to Acapulco. If you’ve never been to Central or South America then prepare yourself for it to be much darker at night-time, the street lights are fewer and duller than the States. There are going to be stunners anywhere you travel to but as a whole I was let down by the quality in Mexico. Personally I’m just not too attracted by their look and most are overweight and cube shaped. I was not using Tinder at the time which I think could have helped me overall. Other girls where shady as fuck when I was with my main girl and not shy about trying to steal me.
Total time in Mexico = 24 days, 2 bangs. My two bangs came in my first 4 days and then I shacked up with the second one for the rest of my now extended trip. She isn’t close to the hottest girl I’ve been with but she was cool, bilingual and a lot of fun to be around. My girl was probably a 6 but had a great fun attitude, loved me and treated me like a god. Brought me into her apartment, cooked, dressed up in costumes for me, showed me around, sex all the time, really no complaints. Don’t have much more to add to this, I now have a place to stay in DF anytime I want.
*I hope this wasn’t too hard to follow, I got a drunk a couple times while writing this report. Maybe I'll post some pictures later of the view from my Acapulco apartment and anything else of interest. I wrote this in Word and the formatting is all messed up.
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