Quote: (11-20-2015 05:41 PM)reino341 Wrote:
Why to build the habit of approaching immediately:
1. Once you decide to approach and start moving to her direction, it's **easier** to keep going than decide to not approach after all.
2. I find the best approaches are those where you don't have time think, you just go. It makes the approach seem more natural and ad-hoc.
3. Pick up is dirty. There is never a perfect time to approach. If you wait for you're likely to just lose the opportunity or talk yourself out of it.
Solid stuff here. My best approaches are usually ones where there isn't even time to think of what to say. Usually, there is no time because I like to approach girls head-on (Giovanny's option #5) in the street/park/supermarket whenever possible, as opposed to passing them and then turning to chase them down - which, by the way - works just fine also. Being flexible and molding yourself to the situation is the most crucial thing. It's important to note that it is advisable to have a couple of go-to "openers" for when you actually manage to get her to stop or at least have her focus her attention on you (and break her day-dreaming) for that crucial opening statement. In my case I have been using, "Hablas inglés?" as I'm in Latin America at the moment but IT CAN BE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. It physically ENGAGES HER, without having to actually be engaging.
The real utility that the opener serves for me is that it simply buys my brain a few processing seconds to take her presence in, check her out, and find something to comment on. THAT's IT. You can also try something like, "Excuse me, I just saw you and wanted to tell you something that I noticed about you."
EXAMPLE:
Just this afternoon, I passed this girl with
stunning blue eyes in a busy main street during rush hour. We made eye contact for like 3 seconds, passed each other, then the lingering memory of her eyes in my mind motivated me enough to make the decision to approach within the next 3 seconds. Without thinking with my logical brain, I pivoted 180 degrees to my right and started jogging in her direction to catch up with her, having to navigate through an obstacle course (nearly a wall) of people on the sidewalk in the process. I approach her from her back left side, put out my right arm (palm faced down) with my finger tips about a foot in front of her to get her attention as I continue moving ahead of her but while turning my body to face her at a 45-60 degree angle. Then I stop about 6 feet in front of her with my body positioned almost directly facing her, but at a slight angle offset away from traffic (back slightly facing traffic) and lock eyes, with my right arm still extended and palm still faced down.
Following convo is translated to english: "Excuse me," first words out of my mouth. She stops and takes her headphones out of her ears. "Do you speak English?" I continue. [This buys me a couple of seconds to check her out better from head to toe to find some things to comment on.] She has
long wavy brown hair down to almost her ass, and a
very vibrant black dress printed with colorful tropical flowers. She has a great figure, wearing white high heels, cute face, nice skin with a few freckles on her cheeks, and
was carrying two white plastic grocery bags, one of which contained a six pack of beer.
She responds, "very little." I continue, "Well I just saw you back there and noticed you had really nice blue eyes. And I wanted to say hi. How are you? [I'm smiling now in a friendly way but I have a feeling the smile was a natural result of my body thanking me for putting myself in the position to be randomly speaking with such a cute and sexy girl]
She smiles big and says, "You have very nice eyes too. I'm fine I just came from the grocery store. And you?"
I continue checking her out and comment on her very vivid dress and long brown hair, "Your dress is really vibrant with all the colorful flowers and your brown hair just goes on forever doesn't it?" She smiled again and I then point to one of her bags, "You must be having a party with with all that beer..."
She goes on to explain that she was going to visit her parents at the beach for the weekend, asks me where I'm from, I tell her to guess, takes her a few tries to figure it out after I drop some clues, delve into things we both like, I comment on the weird food obsessions of Chilean people, discuss this for a while, then ask her if she has a boyfriend, she says no, ask her if she likes coffee, she loves it, tell her we need to drink one together soon because I want to check out this great place in this cool neighborhood...exchange names, then numbers, say it's nice to meet you, cheek kiss, tell her we will talk soon, enjoy the beach. Done.
I think that you can reach a point where you begin to operate on auto-pilot with this, which happens to me sometimes. You literally take your logical mind out of the process and it becomes a very reptilian and binary response. It's either a hard yes or a hard no in terms of whether you approach a specific girl or not. You will begin to approach a girl without your logical brain having time to talk yourself out of it. It's a decision that is processed within 0.5 seconds or less. That's something you can have to look forward to as a reward for doing this enough - it just becomes a part of something you do, without hesitation, which really takes a lot of the anxiety out of the equation and gets yourself out of your head enough to where you don't even have time to ask yourself questions like how to approach or what to say. You just figure it out in the present time.