Quote: (10-04-2015 02:09 AM)spokepoker Wrote:
What is there more to know about the linebacker chick with a high notch count? A lock that any key can open is still a useless piece of shit, no matter how shiny it is, nor how rusted/corroded.
They're a great source of comedy. A teenage mate of mine had a sister who was built like a tank. My mate discovered Viz in his 20's. On seeing the Fat Slags: "Holy shit, it's my sister!" She was bogan trash. Had her first kid at 12. Her life was based around sex, food and shopping. If there was a superheroine whose powers were Sloot-Based, she'd be it.
So, I'd hear stories like:
- "So I'm babysitting last night, and I catch the little prick looking up my skirt. So what'm I gunna do right? So I figured fuck it - I'm bored and it's something to do so, so let the little cunt have a poke." *lights a durrie*
- "Shit giz us some money hey. Gotta get new sheets. I was fucken hanging for a root last night and didn't want to tell Gazza I was on the rag so I turned the lights off first." *lights a durrie*
- "So we're havin a root and the pizza turns up. Fuck I was hungry as shit. Fucken Davo wants to finish first but I just go i'm not fucking letting me pizza go cold, so figure, fuck it, if he does me doggy over the table I can eat it and I don't gotta listen to him whinge." *asks to scab a durrie*
- "Yeah I woke up last night. Norman's on top of me banging away. Couldn't be arsed telling him to fuck off, so went back to sleep. Figured the cunt would tire himself out sooner or later." *sculls a VB*
- "Uncle Siddy died." *Brothers groan* "Fuck that cunt had fast hands. Always wanting to play tickles with me, bloody more than tickles I tell you. I told him he could have a go but I wanted a barbie dreamhouse first." *lights a durrie, brother shrugs*
- "Me and Cass got fucken high last night and couldn't be arsed looken for dick, so she ended up growlin' me out. Think I'm a Lemon now. Men are pricks." *adjusts hoop earings and lights a durrie*
I went to her wedding years later: white dress, beta schlub. She bootmarched down the ailse in the dress like she was a footballer heading out on the field from the change rooms.
Sure, I've got a damn high notch count after 29 years of banging, but I guarantee you I'm nowhere near her numbers. She was a swaggering, classless beast who had a body like Lindy West amd barely resembled a woman, but she never went more than a couple of days without getting a root.