You're right. My diet sucks and I don't work out and I fap every couple of days which doesn't help much.

Most of my anxiety is my height (5'7 but I wear boots often), presence and my jaw. I have a bad overbite and recessed chin but I'm in the process of having surgery to correct this (already have braces in). The next 6 - 12 months I can foresee major changes in my life for the better.

Quote: (07-02-2015 03:47 AM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

JayJuanGee, I can't quote on mobile for some reason so here's my response.

You're absolutely right. I asked a couple of questions and she replied receptively and made a joke. I didn't follow through or transition as I had to get back to work. I doubt I'll see her again but who cares, loads of women in central London. My conversation skills are improving by the day although I still have trouble opening and sometimes I say stupid shit that makes me look goofy.

I think in the end a lot of us do the same. We say a bunch of stupid things, but as we practice, we get better and better at identifying which things are stupid and then to make our transitions in topics, with girls, to become more smooth. Sometimes it can be fairly difficult in a stranger situation to get the conversation going because it may be difficult to identify some topic that may be interesting and in which both of you and the chick have an interest to pursue. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

I know that my conversation flows a hell of a lot easier with chicks during weeks in which I have been practicing... and also over the years, I have identified quite a few topics and or methods to transition that work for me and my personality better than other areas...

My point is partly what several other guys have been saying... practice practice practice... but also, we also should realize that even when we say things that are "dumb" "stupid" "silly" , we can figure out ways to play those comments and or spin them or make fun of them in order to recover in such a way that the comment may NOT be so silly (by either owning and exaggerating or alternatively diverting to another topic, that may or may NOT be related to the dumb comment).

Quote: (07-02-2015 03:47 AM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

The second girl was 5/10 yesterday but every other time I saw her she was a 7/10. It's crazy what make up and good hair can do to the point where I couldnt even recognise her. I've got an idea to turn it into a joke. May seem a bit faggy to you guys but I ordered a stress ball because I accidently kicked hers out the window a week ago and I'll write some shit on it e.g. Thanks for forgiving me for my blindness or whatever.

I doubt that there is any hard and fast rule regarding the extent to which guys give gifts to other girls... you need to kind of play it to your style and then also maybe to measure the extent to which it is effective overall for you. I have met some guys in real life that are heavily engaged in the practice of giving many gifts to girls that they do NOT know, and they seem to do so without much reflection concerning the negative long term consequences, and really as you seem to recognize the gift giving modality can run quite contrary to RVF culture because a lot of guys here recognize that the extent to which you employ gift giving, you need to have some strategies regarding such, rather than merely taking the pay for play shortcut that is fairly heavily despised in RVF circles.

Anyhow it does seem as if your various reflections on this topic and your increased approaching is somewhat helpful to you in considering various ideas and also overcoming some of your own internal hesitancies to say something... anything... hahahaha.

Quote: (07-02-2015 06:47 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

You're right. My diet sucks and I don't work out and I fap every couple of days which doesn't help much.

Most of my anxiety is my height (5'7 but I wear boots often), presence and my jaw. I have a bad overbite and recessed chin but I'm in the process of having surgery to correct this (already have braces in). The next 6 - 12 months I can foresee major changes in my life for the better.

Personally, I think any rule against fapping is overly emphasized... but I otherwise agree with Travesty's overall points about getting your testosterone in order with your diet and exercise. Personally I consider diet and rest to be the two most important things and exercise to be the third most important thing, but anyhow, it is important to eat good foods... my view of good foods is to eat lots of good meats and fats and to minimize the processed foods, especially processed carbs and sugars and the various industrial oils that sometimes contain hidden transfats... cook with butter or lard or coconut oil, and avoid (or at least minimize) any of the partially hydrogenated oils or any of the processed vegetable oils, soy, canola, corn, or other various processed oils.

You are asserting quite a few negative things about your looks, and maybe you are correct that you have some appearance issues... but frequently guys can get away with NOT being so genetically gifted in the looks department, if they work on other areas of projecting confidence, security and fun (interesting) to be around. Surely, looks is one aspect, but if you build other aspects of your package, you can still be successful in attracting girls in various ways....

Actually, currently I am in my late 40s, and I am much less attractive than i was in my 20s... NONETHELESS, when I was in my 20s, I did NOT really project very much confidence or tend to inspire girls as well as I am able to do now.... my point is, in part, that looks is only one aspect of your whole package to inspire confidence in women to want to engage with you and to spend time with you.

Hold eye contact and smile back. She wants you to go talk to you.

Eye contact = please come talk to me!

It seems to be more complicated than just the well-received belief - do the resistance exercises (e.g., compound lifts), don't masturbate. Research suggests, counterintuitively, that T level go up after ejaculation (guess to a higher level after sex than just after masturbating), than just as effect of not doing it. One research suggested T level spiked up on the seventh day of not having masturbated, then returned to normal. With weights, T level shoots up after workout, but returns to baseline a couple hours after workout. If that's the case, working out would work more as self-fulfilling prophecy/placebo more than anything else (if one disregards improved confidence/self-esteem due to better, in the long term, physical appearance). The papers are easily available on the net. I might post links later on.

Quote: (07-07-2015 12:36 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

It seems to be more complicated than just the well-received belief - do the resistance exercises (e.g., compound lifts), don't masturbate. Research suggests, counterintuitively, that T level go up after ejaculation (guess to a higher level after sex than just after masturbating), than just as effect of not doing it. One research suggested T level spiked up on the seventh day of not having masturbated, then returned to normal. With weights, T level shoots up after workout, but returns to baseline a couple hours after workout. If that's the case, working out would work more as self-fulfilling prophecy/placebo more than anything else (if one disregards improved confidence/self-esteem due to better, in the long term, physical appearance). The papers are easily available on the net. I might post links later on.

Sounds like a topic of another thread, and certainly, I have my doubts about these kinds of studies to the extent that they are adequately controlled or adequately account for diet and sleep as well as exercise.

When I was in my 20s, I could have sex with girls several times a day and masterbate in between, and it seem that I would recover fairly quickly. Currently, in my late 40s, it takes me longer to recover from ejaculations and to get multiple erections and orgasms in a day; however, it does NOT really seem to improve my performance ability for orgasms per day merely if I stop masterbating and resort only to live sex a few times a week.

In other words, there seems to be a variety of factors that help performance and desire to have sex with a girl, including various psychological and imagination elements.

Certainly, a guy needs to make himself strong in a variety of ways and also to improve his image of himself in order that he will be able to present himself as desireable and interesting to others (meaning to chicks). Diet, sleep and exercise certainly plays into the package to make self strong and attractive.

Quote: (07-07-2015 10:29 AM)Fitnesspm Wrote:  

Hold eye contact and smile back. She wants you to go talk to you.

Eye contact = please come talk to me!

There you go.

Quote: (07-08-2015 12:46 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

Quote: (07-07-2015 10:29 AM)Fitnesspm Wrote:  

Hold eye contact and smile back. She wants you to go talk to you.

Eye contact = please come talk to me!

There you go.

That's what us, males, (may) think. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it isn't. Can be (and often, unfortunately, is) type I error / false positive from the standpoint of a cognitive bias of Error management theory, specifically, what I mentioned previously, sexual overperception bias. Nevertheless, the only way to find out is to hit the girl with either the best-opener-of-all-times: "Hey!" or roll with the best you can come up with on the spot.

Just my two cents - eye contact is only harder for younger males to hold as time goes on. I haven't quite understood it, although when I did ask a friend why he wasn't looking a cute barmaid in the eyes he replied "shamed I'm not good enough for her, I suppose". Shame seems to be a common disease in our culture. It is also what will make the confident man stick out: use it to your advantage and break the stereotype. It sounds like you are from the UK? There was a dearth of alpha males when I visited two years ago, a factor certainly in your favor