[JamesW95]

Hey guys, serious question from an extreme newbie.

I've been noticing that girls have been looking at me recently and or lingering. It seems strange because I consider myself quite unattractive and I always have the thoughts "she's probably looking at how ugly I am". It's something I'm working on as it's obviously not healthy.

Now if I assume that the girl finds me attractive, what should I open with? Or how do I approach?

[Sketness]

(06-28-2015 05:18 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Hey guys, serious question from an extreme newbie.

I've been noticing that girls have been looking at me recently and or lingering. It seems strange because I consider myself quite unattractive and I always have the thoughts "she's probably looking at how ugly I am". It's something I'm working on as it's obviously not healthy.

Now if I assume that the girl finds me attractive, what should I open with? Or how do I approach?

couple of questions....

1. where are you being checked out at? ( a club, bar, street ect.)

2. depending on where you are, you should approach accordingly

[JamesW95]

Okay so I remember two occasions.

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

Second time I'm with my friend a tube station. A 7/10 walks past and is staring at me in the face. My friend says "she was checking you out bro". I just went about my business after as she was gone.

The most fearful thing I have is acting direct like saying "hey I noticed you checking me out and I wanted to say hi". I've been burned in the past where I've been called ugly or short or whatever and it really lowers my self esteem so much that I don't even try it. Most convos I have are elderly openers.

[ThrustMaster]

I've always found that in todays world, a man that is confident enough to notice a woman that looks at him, flashes back that caddish - "I know you were looking at me, and I'm now looking at you" smile - then look her up and down, stopping momentarily at her hips - returning to her face works fucking wonders. Most men aren't confident nowadays to do that, frankly it's chick crack. "Holy shit that guy just looked my body up and down, should I be offended? Fuck no, no one looks at me like that...isn't he afraid of what I would think?...maybe he has enough pussy orbiting him he doesn't give a fuck...he must have something going on..." INSTA_TINGLES.

Try it. If you look back up and she's smiling open her. A simple, "hi" or "I'm conducting a survey - what kind of cigarettes do women prefer". I used to smoke really expensive "not from around here" cigarettes in my youth as a conversation opener. Depending on where you are (sounds like the UK) you might start smoking Ducados (Spain) or Gauloises (France) the smell and packaging alone will draw attention. Try it. Chances are chicks will notice and open you. You could then offer one playfully or let her ask to try one - extract payment in form of a phone number. Pass her your phone with the create contact window open smile and say "sure! but I make it a rule not to give strangers my cigarettes". All kinds of possibilities there...if a guy tries to cockblock asking for one too, look at him and dismiss him with a look or lulz.

[JackDavey]

(06-28-2015 05:26 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

At least say "Hi." in this situation. A decent icebreaker for the next time you see her is, "Come here often?", said jokingly, since you both know that you've seen each other out there before.

[XII]

It's hard to get good instincts on when girls check you out. My intuition is that any kind of dependence on online dating (or other forms of ties between one's sexuality and the internet) destroys your ability to live in the real world and 'feel' your reptilian brain tell you when a HOT YOUNG GIRL is looking at you.

But anyway. If I notice a girl looking at me, I just walk up to her and say, "Hi, I'm XII" and put out my hand for her to shake. It takes balls to do this the first few times, but after that it'll come easily.

[JayJuanGee]

(06-28-2015 05:26 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Okay so I remember two occasions.

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

Second time I'm with my friend a tube station. A 7/10 walks past and is staring at me in the face. My friend says "she was checking you out bro". I just went about my business after as she was gone.

The most fearful thing I have is acting direct like saying "hey I noticed you checking me out and I wanted to say hi". I've been burned in the past where I've been called ugly or short or whatever and it really lowers my self esteem so much that I don't even try it. Most convos I have are elderly openers.

I believe that when a girl makes extended eye contact with you, then you could say something that makes it appear that you are starting the contact rather than her...

I am of the sense that most girls would NOT feel comfortable with any kind of phraseology that would suggest that she was the one that started the interaction by "checking you out" therefore, you would say something like, "you sure look familiar" - even though that seems like a pick up line, if she really started the interaction by looking at you then she is looking for you to say something... and anything will work in those kinds of circumstances that could be very open or somehow tied to something in your life... "was it at the gym?" "Was it in starbucks?" "was it in the metlife cafeteria?"

It really doesn't matter what you say, so much as you say something to get the convo started.. and she already has given you a signal that she may be interested in some convo.

Even saying "hi" and smiling and waiting might get her to say something to provide a hook for you to get started.

[Beyond Borders]

Who cares why? You've got her attention - say hi. Ask her how she's doing. No need to get complicated.

There are two ways it can go - Negative feedback or positive feedback. Neither will kill you.

And that's better than just wondering, right?

Do it enough times and then maybe you'll figure out the why and can try to capitalize on it more.

[Dr. Howard]

(06-29-2015 01:32 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(06-28-2015 05:26 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Okay so I remember two occasions.

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

Second time I'm with my friend a tube station. A 7/10 walks past and is staring at me in the face. My friend says "she was checking you out bro". I just went about my business after as she was gone.

The most fearful thing I have is acting direct like saying "hey I noticed you checking me out and I wanted to say hi". I've been burned in the past where I've been called ugly or short or whatever and it really lowers my self esteem so much that I don't even try it. Most convos I have are elderly openers.

I believe that when a girl makes extended eye contact with you, then you could say something that makes it appear that you are starting the contact rather than her...

I am of the sense that most girls would NOT feel comfortable with any kind of phraseology that would suggest that she was the one that started the interaction by "checking you out" therefore, you would say something like, "you sure look familiar" - even though that seems like a pick up line, if she really started the interaction by looking at you then she is looking for you to say something... and anything will work in those kinds of circumstances that could be very open or somehow tied to something in your life... "was it at the gym?" "Was it in starbucks?" "was it in the metlife cafeteria?"

It really doesn't matter what you say, so much as you say something to get the convo started.. and she already has given you a signal that she may be interested in some convo.

Even saying "hi" and smiling and waiting might get her to say something to provide a hook for you to get started.

Say hi, but not say that 'you noticed her checking you out' it makes things awkward. Its like if a chick grabs your dick through your pants, you don't say 'so I noticed you've got your hand on my dick"

[ThrustMaster]

My God gentlemen, you're acting like this is the only twat you'll ever be able to game. Just fucking approach - thats 99% of it. Fer Chrissakes - analysis paralysis is your fucking problem.

(06-29-2015 01:32 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(06-28-2015 05:26 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Okay so I remember two occasions.

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

Second time I'm with my friend a tube station. A 7/10 walks past and is staring at me in the face. My friend says "she was checking you out bro". I just went about my business after as she was gone.

The most fearful thing I have is acting direct like saying "hey I noticed you checking me out and I wanted to say hi". I've been burned in the past where I've been called ugly or short or whatever and it really lowers my self esteem so much that I don't even try it. Most convos I have are elderly openers.

I believe that when a girl makes extended eye contact with you, then you could say something that makes it appear that you are starting the contact rather than her...

I am of the sense that most girls would NOT feel comfortable with any kind of phraseology that would suggest that she was the one that started the interaction by "checking you out" therefore, you would say something like, "you sure look familiar" - even though that seems like a pick up line, if she really started the interaction by looking at you then she is looking for you to say something... and anything will work in those kinds of circumstances that could be very open or somehow tied to something in your life... "was it at the gym?" "Was it in starbucks?" "was it in the metlife cafeteria?"

It really doesn't matter what you say, so much as you say something to get the convo started.. and she already has given you a signal that she may be interested in some convo.

Even saying "hi" and smiling and waiting might get her to say something to provide a hook for you to get started.

[JayJuanGee]

(06-29-2015 09:45 AM)ThrustMaster Wrote:  

My God gentlemen, you're acting like this is the only twat you'll ever be able to game. Just fucking approach - thats 99% of it. Fer Chrissakes - analysis paralysis is your fucking problem.

(06-29-2015 01:32 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

(06-28-2015 05:26 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Okay so I remember two occasions.

I smoke cigarettes so I went outside my office to smoke and I always see a 6/10 girl there, I was standing at the edge of the wall and she was very close and turned her head a couple of times to my direction even though there's nothing but me to look at in that direction. Didn't say nothing, kept smoking and went back inside. Fail.

Second time I'm with my friend a tube station. A 7/10 walks past and is staring at me in the face. My friend says "she was checking you out bro". I just went about my business after as she was gone.

The most fearful thing I have is acting direct like saying "hey I noticed you checking me out and I wanted to say hi". I've been burned in the past where I've been called ugly or short or whatever and it really lowers my self esteem so much that I don't even try it. Most convos I have are elderly openers.

I believe that when a girl makes extended eye contact with you, then you could say something that makes it appear that you are starting the contact rather than her...

I am of the sense that most girls would NOT feel comfortable with any kind of phraseology that would suggest that she was the one that started the interaction by "checking you out" therefore, you would say something like, "you sure look familiar" - even though that seems like a pick up line, if she really started the interaction by looking at you then she is looking for you to say something... and anything will work in those kinds of circumstances that could be very open or somehow tied to something in your life... "was it at the gym?" "Was it in starbucks?" "was it in the metlife cafeteria?"

It really doesn't matter what you say, so much as you say something to get the convo started.. and she already has given you a signal that she may be interested in some convo.

Even saying "hi" and smiling and waiting might get her to say something to provide a hook for you to get started.

You are right about the need to approach, but having hesitancies regarding how and considerations about what kinds of things to say and discussing the matter is part of the reason for the form, rather than a problem or a cause of paralysis, as you seem to be strongly in the accusatory mode.

[ThrustMaster]

Practice makes perfect. And frankly mate part of the problem with young men today is their pussification. Men need to be able to tell men when they're fucking up, if not why ask for advice from men? If you want sugar coating you're not getting it here mate. I'm sure you can get some blue pill advice elsewhere if you look hard enough.

(06-29-2015 11:09 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

You are right about the need to approach, but having hesitancies regarding how and considerations about what kinds of things to say and discussing the matter is part of the reason for the form, rather than a problem or a cause of paralysis, as you seem to be strongly in the accusatory mode.

[JayJuanGee]

(06-29-2015 11:34 AM)ThrustMaster Wrote:  

Practice makes perfect. And frankly mate part of the problem with young men today is their pussification. Men need to be able to tell men when they're fucking up, if not why ask for advice from men? If you want sugar coating you're not getting it here mate. I'm sure you can get some blue pill advice elsewhere if you look hard enough.

(06-29-2015 11:09 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

You are right about the need to approach, but having hesitancies regarding how and considerations about what kinds of things to say and discussing the matter is part of the reason for the form, rather than a problem or a cause of paralysis, as you seem to be strongly in the accusatory mode.

Certainly, I agree with the concept of practice makes perfect.

Otherwise, the remainder of your comment seems off base, and unnecessary - except to possibly cause you to feel that you are in some superior hyper alpha position in this situation.

Regarding the concept of advice, I personally, do NOT consider the forum a place for seeking and giving advice - even though a lot of members are o.k. with that framework. Personally, I consider the forum a place to be able to share ideas and experiences, and hopefully, as a short-cut, to figure out better ways for ourselves to improve from the experiences of others, rather than having to live each of the mistakes ourselves.

Also, regarding blue bill versus redpill, I didn't see anyone here providing bluepill advice prior to your chiming into the mix.

[ThrustMaster]

(06-29-2015 11:45 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

Regarding the concept of advice, I personally, do NOT consider the forum a place for seeking and giving advice - even though a lot of members are o.k. with that framework. Personally, I consider the forum a place to be able to share ideas and experiences, and hopefully, as a short-cut, to figure out better ways for ourselves to improve from the experiences of others, rather than having to live each of the mistakes ourselves.

Also, regarding blue bill versus redpill, I didn't see anyone here providing bluepill advice prior to your chiming into the mix.

Strongly disagree. Traditionally men treat each other in a more brusque manner than womenfolk. I've found in my life that being direct is the best way to approach advice to other men. If they cannot handle objective advice from another man and incorporate what they deem interesting into their lives then well, why ask for advice?

Taking the advice of men is a short cut broheem.

A shortcut through the pussified, feminized way of providing feedback to other men which results in a bunch of simpering globs of blue shit. Frankly I wish I'd had a strong male influence in my life as a young man, I did not. It took me 20+ years to figure shit out. Now I'm raising strong young men of my genetic lineage to not be retiring wall flowers like their peerage will be. My sons will be dropping my genetic code into cunts by the gallon in the next few years.

The meek shall inherit nothing.

[JayJuanGee]

(06-29-2015 01:10 PM)ThrustMaster Wrote:  

(06-29-2015 11:45 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

Regarding the concept of advice, I personally, do NOT consider the forum a place for seeking and giving advice - even though a lot of members are o.k. with that framework. Personally, I consider the forum a place to be able to share ideas and experiences, and hopefully, as a short-cut, to figure out better ways for ourselves to improve from the experiences of others, rather than having to live each of the mistakes ourselves.

Also, regarding blue bill versus redpill, I didn't see anyone here providing bluepill advice prior to your chiming into the mix.

Strongly disagree. Traditionally men treat each other in a more brusque manner than womenfolk. I've found in my life that being direct is the best way to approach advice to other men. If they cannot handle objective advice from another man and incorporate what they deem interesting into their lives then well, why ask for advice?

Taking the advice of men is a short cut broheem.

A shortcut through the pussified, feminized way of providing feedback to other men which results in a bunch of simpering globs of blue shit. Frankly I wish I'd had a strong male influence in my life as a young man, I did not. It took me 20+ years to figure shit out. Now I'm raising strong young men of my genetic lineage to not be retiring wall flowers like their peerage will be. My sons will be dropping my genetic code into cunts by the gallon in the next few years.

The meek shall inherit nothing.

I think that you got quite a bit wrong about the nature and the tone of the forum, and it seems quite unnecessary for you to be suggesting that other guys here are too feminine or "pussified" because they are engaging in too much analysis, discussion and politeness.

In the end, it seems that in your last few posts, you are merely engaged in a form of argument for the sake of argument in your striving to be right in your views of the world in characterizing your viewpoint of what is a "real man."

[ThrustMaster]

(06-29-2015 01:37 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  

In the end, it seems that in your last few posts, you are merely engaged in a form of argument for the sake of argument in your striving to be right in your views of the world in characterizing your viewpoint of what is a "real man."

Your opinion of me is your prerogative. Enjoy.

(you also happen to contradict yourself, but hey broheemavich, enjoy nonetheless...)

[Feo]

Just wink and smile. Simple

[JamesW95]

So I had some courage today, spoke to a girl who was starring in a short movie and was using our office reception as I was waiting for the lift. Asked her some questions and she responded positively but I went on and wished her good luck.

As I'm getting in the elevator a 5/10 gets on with me and engages in conversation with me, she's going to the 7th floor and I'm on the 3rd, I ask her what her name is as I haven't seen her before. Turns out I've fucking met her like 5 times before but she wasn't wearing make up and wasn't wearing glasses. She says my name is *amy* and looks at me weird. At this moment I immediately start laughing and feeling slightly embarrassed. Haha what the hell was I doing.

Also thanks for all the advice in the thread. I really do appreciate it.

[TrifeLife]

Specific situation - what's the move when you walk past a girl on the sidewalk and you get some eye contact that signals interest? This is for urban settings not in a park or slow small town.

I can usually break the ice if im in a cafe, grocery store, book store etc. because I have some something to go on (how's that book?).

I'm a puss in this situation, which is too bad because that's where I cross paths with the most girls day to day. And if she's got earbuds in that's another issue.

[JayJuanGee]

(07-01-2015 05:01 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

So I had some courage today, spoke to a girl who was starring in a short movie and was using our office reception as I was waiting for the lift. Asked her some questions and she responded positively but I went on and wished her good luck.

As I'm getting in the elevator a 5/10 gets on with me and engages in conversation with me, she's going to the 7th floor and I'm on the 3rd, I ask her what her name is as I haven't seen her before. Turns out I've fucking met her like 5 times before but she wasn't wearing make up and wasn't wearing glasses. She says my name is *amy* and looks at me weird. At this moment I immediately start laughing and feeling slightly embarrassed. Haha what the hell was I doing.

Also thanks for all the advice in the thread. I really do appreciate it.

James, with the first girl, there seems to have been some progress because at least you decided to say something to her, and you acted upon it and then you are able to get some kind of better sense whether she is potentially interested and receptive to you. My sense is that the more you get used to opening such staring girls, the easier it will become to transition the conversation in a way in order that you can hook her into meeting again or a follow up of some sort... such as finding out where she lives or identifying an activity preference that you may have in common.

with the second girl, it should be no problem misidentifying her or NOT recognizing her.. and then to make a kind of joke out of the situation. Sometimes having a common joke, can lead to much more interesting developments - even though you may consider a 5/10 to be merely practice, rather than the real deal that would be potentially bangable. Guys have their various ways of rating chicks, and sometimes banging or even interacting with a girl of a lower rating may be good practice to work your way up to girls higher on the "would bang" scale.

[JayJuanGee]

(07-01-2015 05:19 PM)TrifeLife Wrote:  

Specific situation - what's the move when you walk past a girl on the sidewalk and you get some eye contact that signals interest? This is for urban settings not in a park or slow small town.

I can usually break the ice if im in a cafe, grocery store, book store etc. because I have some something to go on (how's that book?).

I'm a puss in this situation, which is too bad because that's where I cross paths with the most girls day to day. And if she's got earbuds in that's another issue.

Actually, personally, I doubt that the situation is much different from what we are describing in this thread.

Personally, I believe that the $100,000 question is about whether the level of the girl's glance has truly crossed the scale of a passing glance versus that she has actually shown interest. I believe that, here, we are talking about hypotheticals in which we have come to the conclusion that the girl has truly shown interest through her glance.

I believe that the more that a guy approaches, the more comfortable that he will become to approach girls whether or NOT they have shown any interest with their glance... but I believe that part of the point of this thread is that these seem to be situations in which the guy has determined that the girl has actually demonstrated some interest... and therefore that showing interest causes the hook for the guy to just say anything to her, including but not limited to "hi" or "hi my name is ______" and then see what she says and go from there.

[robreke]

(06-28-2015 05:18 PM)JamesW95 Wrote:  

Hey guys, serious question from an extreme newbie.

I've been noticing that girls have been looking at me recently and or lingering. It seems strange because I consider myself quite unattractive and I always have the thoughts "she's probably looking at how ugly I am". It's something I'm working on as it's obviously not healthy.

Now if I assume that the girl finds me attractive, what should I open with? Or how do I approach?

You definitely need to work on your inner game if you think you're ugly. Also, might want to work on outer game to give you more confidence. Buy some better clothes. Get a good haircut and start lifting.

Now, on to the what to do when a girl checks you out; APPROACH!

Usually the most a girl is going to give a man she's interested in is what these girls are giving you. Looks, a few glances....maybe a smile. These are approach invitations. She's doing her part as the female. You need to do your part as the man. Be man enough to approach. She's woman enough to give you the cue.

Keep it simple. Notice something she has ( cellphone, handbag, shoes, whatever) and just go indirect to get a convo going:
"Hey, how are you? Is that a good cellphone? ( sounds stupid but it doesn't matter, you've got to open the door to get in the car) She'll respond then...just go from there: "the reason I'm asking is I've been looking at those kind of phones...blah blah...Then on from there.
Yeah...so what are you up to today?
If she was interested in you - and approach signals indicate she was - she'll make the conversation pretty easy for you.

[JamesW95]

JayJuanGee, I can't quote on mobile for some reason so here's my response.

You're absolutely right. I asked a couple of questions and she replied receptively and made a joke. I didn't follow through or transition as I had to get back to work. I doubt I'll see her again but who cares, loads of women in central London. My conversation skills are improving by the day although I still have trouble opening and sometimes I say stupid shit that makes me look goofy.

The second girl was 5/10 yesterday but every other time I saw her she was a 7/10. It's crazy what make up and good hair can do to the point where I couldnt even recognise her. I've got an idea to turn it into a joke. May seem a bit faggy to you guys but I ordered a stress ball because I accidently kicked hers out the window a week ago and I'll write some shit on it e.g. Thanks for forgiving me for my blindness or whatever.

[ksbms]

The apprehension to act upon female's signalling her apparent interest is the fact that, as an apparent receiver of that signal, you never know what it meant (unless you'll ask - still, she may not tell you the truth). You might be wrong in its interpretation. Why? Because another person's mind is essentially a black box and only behaviouristic cues in situations like these, such as body language, are available for assessment and those aren't unequivocal. Let's have a simple example. You look at a woman, she looks at you and smiles back - what happened?

1/ She returned your smile because you looked at her and she wants to be polite.
2/ She returned your smile because you looked at her and she wants to show she isn't a threat.
3/ She returned your smile because you looked at her and she smiled because she won a lottery.
4. She returned you smile... ad nauseam.

There may be n reasons for her smiling back.

What I wrote above dovetails nicely with sexual overperception bias which so often makes us misinterpret the signals. What is the panacea for this conundrum? The only way to find out is too approach. After all, as the joke goes, what killed the Samurai was his hesitation.

[Travesty]

The easiest way to kill your insecurity and anxiety about your looks is live a healthy lifestyle and raise your T-levels. Sunshine, cut back on fapping and substances, healthy diet and workouts.

You will want to fuck the girls so badly in a good way that your mind's desire to bang the chick shoves all its fears off a cliff.