[big poppa]

I'm 3 days in, won't post in here again till i slip up. I'm aiming for 20 days

Good luck guys.

[Riker]

(12-27-2011 04:38 AM)big poppa Wrote:  

I'm 3 days in, won't post in here again till i slip up. I'm aiming for 20 days

Good luck guys.

Nice... try to get a bang from a girl so you can last longer good luck

[alphaspiraton]

Roger what big poppa said.

[Riker]

I can't fucking sleep. I slept two hours and I'm wide awake!!! Waiting for a girl to come over tonight

[TheWolfHowls]

I'm officially starting this challenge now. I have been rusty as hell since i haven't gone out much in the past few months related to employment reasons. This will get me up to speed!

[Issic]

I might be wrong and forgive me if I am but I would NOT, stop watching porn. The best motivator to game women is to actually get use to being around the quality of women you want to game. As your comfort level increases, so will your wit and charm. You'll find it far easier to hold a conversation with them, because at the back of your mind, you'll know you're accustomed to being around beautiful women. So, here's the ultimate solution, get off your butt and travel to a place outside the USA, that has lovely women you like. If you're in the right countries like EE Europe or say south America, it wiull be much easier to bang lovely women, who be far more receptive to your advances. TRUST me, you'll be so confident, you won't know what to do with yourself. Just imagine the ego boost you get when you come from a trip where you were able to band top quality women. You've done all the necessary work.... you have proven (to yourself) that you can bang top quality women. If the one you approach state side happens not to like you or your approach, oh well... you'll move to the the next lovely chick and do it all over again while fine tuning your game from each experience.

[_DC_]

I'm in (Currently almost 3 days strong, started before seeing the thread). I've tried with varying success (mostly not much) the past month of so. I've yet to make a week.

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com

The link has been posted before, but it is extremely convincing. I'm fairly convinced that the porn and not the masturbation, is the main problem. That being said, resisting both porn and masturbation seems to have a synergistic effect.

If you are like me (before attempting slowing down) and masturbated on average more then once per day, just try avoiding it for 4-5 days. You don't realize the dulled pleasure response (lower dopamine from excessive hijacking of dopamine levels during porn watching) until you resist for a few days. When I was fapping once or more a day porn was a routine. It was pleasurable but not exciting. It was something to do. I'd insatiably search for the perfect clip, the perfect women, the perfect position, etc. all based on the whim of the day. With recent experimentation, after a break of 4-5 days, jesus, the first clip is so hot, just the picture, it could even be a medicore looking MILF. You're a horny teenager all over again.

To me this is extremely indicative of a dulled pleasure response. This no doubt carries over to women at the bar. The may be real, but they're without a doubt less attractive then the perfect tens in perfect lighting you jerked off to, and worst of all, you actually have to put effort getting off on/with them!

Ideally I'd like to quit porn forever and fap (pornless) once a week for health reasons (and not going insane). As people have mentioned its a waste or energy, a useless activity. More importantly, IMO, it completely drains your sex drive.

I also think it really depends on the person. If you're a horny bastard regardless of your fapping habits, then lucky you... fap away. If you're an aloof and proud good-looking bastard like myself, not fapping goes a long way, and I'm surprised its taking me this long to figure out its a major problem.

P.S. What's with the homophobia? Masturbation talk shouldn't bother you much unless you're turned on by it (or scared of getting turned on by it). It's not like people are getting into detail. The thread has largely been on the effects of abstinence. We're men and just talking shop here.

[_DC_]

Also, for people who are serious.

There is a free service called openDNS which has a parental control DNS server. Go to your network connection properties, highlight: internet protocol version 4 (TCP/IPv4), click properties, and manually change your DNS servers to:

208.67.222.123
208.67.220.123

Its pretty amazing how well it works. Haven't stumbled across porn yet. If you want to watch porn again, just set your DNS back to Automatic.

I also deleted all the porn off of my harddrive.

[soup]

Still don't buy not masturbating as motivation to game women.

I think this is a top down problem, not a bottom up one; I don't believe that changing a lower order behavior will inspire you on a conscious level to get good at game. You need to witness the immense power of game first hand, or suffer from the lack of it in a very compelling way that you see it as a necessary, if not the only, most efficient, way to get what you want from life.

Not masturbating to inspire your game is in itself a form of mental masturbation. It's bordering on arrogant thinking, and is sort of like trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound. Based on your logic, you might get more out of challenging yourself by masturbating a lot and then forcing yourself to go gaming regardless of how you feel.

Women let their wishy-washy feelings do the deciding. As a man, you need to make a decision and stick with it.

You want to game? Use some will power and force yourself do it.

Set goals. I set my notch count as a goal for 2011, and that gave me something to work towards.

[big poppa]

(12-29-2011 04:05 AM)_DC_ Wrote:  

Also, for people who are serious.

There is a free service called openDNS which has a parental control DNS server. Go to your network connection properties, highlight: internet protocol version 4 (TCP/IPv4), click properties, and manually change your DNS servers to:

208.67.222.123
208.67.220.123

Its pretty amazing how well it works. Haven't stumbled across porn yet. If you want to watch porn again, just set your DNS back to Automatic.

I also deleted all the porn off of my harddrive.

Awesome, thanks man.

5 days. Now to start gaming

[Spike]

(12-29-2011 05:47 AM)big poppa Wrote:  

(12-29-2011 04:05 AM)_DC_ Wrote:  

Also, for people who are serious.

There is a free service called openDNS which has a parental control DNS server. Go to your network connection properties, highlight: internet protocol version 4 (TCP/IPv4), click properties, and manually change your DNS servers to:

208.67.222.123
208.67.220.123

Its pretty amazing how well it works. Haven't stumbled across porn yet. If you want to watch porn again, just set your DNS back to Automatic.

I also deleted all the porn off of my harddrive.

Awesome, thanks man.

5 days. Now to start gaming

5 minutes. After last wank. Now time for a shower and go out and game.

[Spike]

(12-29-2011 04:40 AM)soup Wrote:  

Still don't buy not masturbating as motivation to game women.

I think this is a top down problem, not a bottom up one; I don't believe that changing a lower order behavior will inspire you on a conscious level to get good at game. You need to witness the immense power of game first hand, or suffer from the lack of it in a very compelling way that you see it as a necessary, if not the only, most efficient, way to get what you want from life.

Not masturbating to inspire your game is in itself a form of mental masturbation. It's bordering on arrogant thinking, and is sort of like trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound. Based on your logic, you might get more out of challenging yourself by masturbating a lot and then forcing yourself to go gaming regardless of how you feel.

Women let their wishy-washy feelings do the deciding. As a man, you need to make a decision and stick with it.

You want to game? Use some will power and force yourself do it.

Set goals. I set my notch count as a goal for 2011, and that gave me something to work towards.

Great post and exactly how i think about it.

I wouldnt be surprised if that yourbrainonporn website is funded/made by some super conservative religious freaks.

Thats how the boy scouts and having american boys circumsized got started : The anti mastubation lobby

[scotian]

I'm with Neil on this one! what a funny topic LOL.....I'm gonna start my own wank thread, hows this for a title guys: "Scotian's Soliloquy, TO SPANK OR NOT TO SPANK, that is the question!"

I jerked off so good two nights ago, when I woke up my dick was making me breakfast!

[_DC_]

(12-29-2011 04:40 AM)soup Wrote:  

Still don't buy not masturbating as motivation to game women.

I think this is a top down problem, not a bottom up one; I don't believe that changing a lower order behavior will inspire you on a conscious level to get good at game. You need to witness the immense power of game first hand, or suffer from the lack of it in a very compelling way that you see it as a necessary, if not the only, most efficient, way to get what you want from life.

Not masturbating to inspire your game is in itself a form of mental masturbation. It's bordering on arrogant thinking, and is sort of like trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound. Based on your logic, you might get more out of challenging yourself by masturbating a lot and then forcing yourself to go gaming regardless of how you feel.

Women let their wishy-washy feelings do the deciding. As a man, you need to make a decision and stick with it.

You want to game? Use some will power and force yourself do it.

Set goals. I set my notch count as a goal for 2011, and that gave me something to work towards.

If you're trying to improve your game by withholding masturbation, I agree that would be a top-down problem and you're going about it all the wrong way, possibly even sabotaging your efforts. IMO, nobody is claiming this (though I certainly think it could help kino).

If you're trying to improve your WILLINGNESS and IMPETUS to speak to women, it is emphatically a bottom-up problem.

Horniness ----(Game)----> Score

"Game" is a means to an end, namely, sleeping with attractive women. If you lack the horniness, the is no reason to "game" in the first place. At best your attempts will be weak and unconvincing. You'll go home, say "meh", rub one out, and all is right with the world.

So it really depends on what your sticking points are. If you can either be perpetually in a sexual state or else circumvent the need for a strong biological impulse and just game, then the more power to you (What kind of sorcery is this?). Personally, I've been laid maybe 40 times and almost every time my effort was minimal. I stumbled into a good situation, she gamed me, etc. In other words, no game was needed, and the score just happened. This happened mostly in college though, and girls just don't throw themselves at you anymore (those were the days). Lately, I've had girls eye me down, bump into me, smile at me, stand near me, etc. but I usually lack the impetus to even care. Maybe this isn't a problem for most people on the forum, but it is certainly a problem for me.

I like this forum for its honesty, real life advice, and posters who mostly seem to know what they're talking about (and use good grammar!). If you do a search for PUA sites, they're EVERYWHERE, its amazing how much the "game" has exploded. I'm willing to bet that 75% of guys in a bar have read at least some form of PUA material. That being said, I think three things will get you laid like no other (I might make some people angry on this one):

Good looking (Genetics and Effort e.g. working out, clothing/style), REAL confidence (only through achievements, quality lifestyle, etc.) and Sexual Energy. I've always lacked the third of my holy trinity and only now am I started to appreciate why that is (excessive exposure to porn).

P.S. For the record, with regards to all the boyscout talk. I'm an atheist. I have absolutely no moral qualms about jerking.

[garygroundwork]

agree with a lot that has been said here

when i jerk off i have zero desire to go out and chase women

if i hold off i get so much more hornier to get out there...i also consider banging chicks i usually wouldnt

[Docter]

(12-29-2011 02:27 PM)_DC_ Wrote:  

Good looking (Genetics and Effort e.g. working out, clothing/style), REAL confidence (only through achievements, quality lifestyle, etc.) and Sexual Energy. I've always lacked the third of my holy trinity and only now am I started to appreciate why that is (excessive exposure to porn).

I like this trinity. Still working on 2 and 3 for myself though.

Anyway, onto the porn...

Quote:

Still don't buy not masturbating as motivation to game women.

I think this is a top down problem, not a bottom up one; I don't believe that changing a lower order behavior will inspire you on a conscious level to get good at game. You need to witness the immense power of game first hand, or suffer from the lack of it in a very compelling way that you see it as a necessary, if not the only, most efficient, way to get what you want from life.

Not masturbating to inspire your game is in itself a form of mental masturbation. It's bordering on arrogant thinking, and is sort of like trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound. Based on your logic, you might get more out of challenging yourself by masturbating a lot and then forcing yourself to go gaming regardless of how you feel.

Women let their wishy-washy feelings do the deciding. As a man, you need to make a decision and stick with it.

You want to game? Use some will power and force yourself do it.

Set goals. I set my notch count as a goal for 2011, and that gave me something to work towards.

I agree, soup, that one should not cease masturbation primarily as a form to improve their game or as a primary source of motivation for gaming.

Game is a conscious, learned skill/talent/ability (whatever you wanna call it) that over time becomes more and more unconscious as you strengthen your brains ability to make the necessary connections to apply it to the real world (as a result of actually fucking talking to women, being social, etc).

Quote:

Contrary to what everyone is saying about jerking off depleting your sex drive, my experience is the opposite; the more I cum, the more I want to cum. I try to have as many orgasms as I can. I'll jerk-off and then go pickup a girl, fuck her, kick her out, and then jerk-off again.

This is because, like most pleasurable activities in life like drugs and eating energy-dense food like sweets, the brain has chemicals that it rewards you with as you take/do/eat these things.

The more you cum, the more your body craves the chemical rush that is caused by cumming, so on and so forth similar to any other drug addiction.

This is one of the reasons porn viewers chase more hardcore and strange images/videos. I wouldn't be surprised is many of us have gotten off to beastiality or even homosexual pornography as the novelty of it causes a more intense dopamine rush.

It's called the Coolidge Effect, and it's not a bad thing -- but in a modern context it can run amok as there's such a wide variety and amount of porn available.

It's pretty much the same reason people get obese/fat. Modern society allows for low-to-absent levels of energy expenditure with a high intake of energy dense foods. Our brains LOVE this and thus, a non-diligent person will become fat.

Unlike eating, though, we don't get "full" from masturbation. If you constantly introduce more novel stimulation, you can go for a long, long, long, long, long, long time.

As a result, we get numbed to the pleasure response.

Anecdote: Had a fling for a few months with a cute girl. When we started out, she couldn't get me off with her hands. I just thought I was a badass because I was able to hold it long -- thus not ejaculate too soon.

Except, I really COULDN'T get off unless we were fucking, I was going 150% and I was raw.

Fast forward to day 20 of no cumming and she got me off so under a minute with her hands. The difference was intense and shocking (because I realized that I wasn't as badass as I originally thought, but rather addicted and numb. These are interesting things to have on your mind with a soft hand on your dick).

TL;DR: Getting off makes you want to get off. Novelty causes higher levels of dopamine to be released, an evolutionarily advantages response.

Ejaculating being linked to prostate health isn't hard fact. I'll be the first to admit that science is pretty shoddy now a days, so take this with a grain of salt.

Quote:

It also makes me better at sex because it's good for the prostate. The prostate directly affects your ability to control your orgasms. So, in this way, fapping can actually be good for your game- if you fuck her well, she'll want to come back for more.

In fact, even if it is, I had a wet dream on day 14 of my 'reboot,' for the first time in maybe 10 years. Perhaps the body does, in fact, regulate itself.

Quote:

And, yeah, if monkey behavior is anything like what our ancestors were like, I do think they were jerking off a lot. Probably just as much or more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexual_behaviour

It is presumed that masturbation in animals is actually NOT as prevalent as we think. It so happens that masturbation in animals increases as the animals are kept in captivity (which is the type of animal most studies are done on).

Links here and here.

Quote:

This is a bullshit thread.

Don't mean to pick on you soup but you are the primary voice of dissent here.

Look at it this way...

Imagine a bratty 5 year old who doesn't want to eat his broccoli. He just wants dessert!

Now imagine the same 5 year old after 3 days of not eating. I promise you, he'll eat the fucking vegetables.



Super TL;DR: Masturbation and Porn can be a real issue and does have benefits that would intersect with and effect your game regardless of your philosophical, political, or emotional stance about it.

And for those of you interested, I am blogging about my reboot here.

Addendum: A quick note I wanted to add in...

When I was at my 20~ day mark (longest I've gone) I was the most "out of my head" I have ever been in my life. Conversation was fluid, I was amazingly creative, and downright giddy all the fucking time.

After jacking it the past week (being home really fucked me up), I feel empty, unmotivated creatively and sexually, and "in my head." When someone speaks to me I am clearly running through thoughts where as after a time of abstaining my brain was being as sharp-witted and slick as a stand-up comedian.

I suggest giving this a 30-day challenge, pavlina style. I bet you won't last 10 days.

[soup]

Porn is not the issue, you are. Mind over matter.

[_DC_]

I'm going to have to start over again next week.

Pretty much impossible to be wasted, fuck a girl all night, not cum, and then not fap in the morn.

[Docter]

(12-30-2011 05:03 AM)soup Wrote:  

Porn is not the issue, you are. Mind over matter.

You are arguing semantics.

Porn is an issue for me.

Try abstaining for 30 days. I would bet money you can't do it.

[alphaspiraton]

Fully agree with Docter here. Nice post up. Once I figure out how to give rep points I'll send one your way.

Guys who say that you will be too horny by not masturbating and thus appear too eager in fromt of girls are just making excuses.

[soup]

Still don't get how abstaining from masturbation will motivate everybody to go out and game. If you set goals, it shouldn't matter how you feel that day. Just do it.

[Docter]

(12-30-2011 04:29 PM)soup Wrote:  

Still don't get how abstaining from masturbation will motivate everybody to go out and game. If you set goals, it shouldn't matter how you feel that day. Just do it.

First of all, there are far more benefits to abstaining from masturbation than an increased urge to game.

--

Abstaining provides a primal itch that cannot be scratched by yourself. Otherwise, it's a conscious mental effort. And our brains would rather we sit and fap in front of a computer than make an effort to talk to girls.

I understand that, with goals set and determination, you could just go out and game. Unfortunately, many of us aren't as mentally determined as you might be soup. I have set approach goals many times and failed. I am ashamed to say I failed on my recent 100 approach goal. I have no excuses for not doing that.

Hilariously, the approaches I did in fact do under that challenge umbrella were strongly influenced by my lack of masturbation.

N=1 man. Try it before you deny it.

[Spike]

(12-31-2011 02:15 AM)Docter Wrote:  

(12-30-2011 04:29 PM)soup Wrote:  

Still don't get how abstaining from masturbation will motivate everybody to go out and game. If you set goals, it shouldn't matter how you feel that day. Just do it.

First of all, there are far more benefits to abstaining from masturbation than an increased urge to game.

--

Abstaining provides a primal itch that cannot be scratched by yourself. Otherwise, it's a conscious mental effort. And our brains would rather we sit and fap in front of a computer than make an effort to talk to girls.

I understand that, with goals set and determination, you could just go out and game. Unfortunately, many of us aren't as mentally determined as you might be soup. I have set approach goals many times and failed. I am ashamed to say I failed on my recent 100 approach goal. I have no excuses for not doing that.

Hilariously, the approaches I did in fact do under that challenge umbrella were strongly influenced by my lack of masturbation.

N=1 man. Try it before you deny it.

You have to beat your approach anxiety first before blaming it on other factors. AA is a guys worst enemy. An enemy thas is always lurking around.

I had a massive case of AA when traveling around South America the first weeks. I banged 30 girls in the year before that, still AA came back. I think i have defeated my demon now.

[soup]

Don't know if this will motivate anybody, but it has for me:

Game really is like a skill, or sport. The more you practice, the better you will get. If you stop, your skill will atrophy. There are zones, low and high. I've experienced both this year in the form of seriously depressing cold streaks, and incredible Alpha runs where I'd threesome girls I'd just met one day and then pickup and bang a new one that same night (while having girls offer me their numbers sans prompt on that same glorious day).

So, you can get better, but you need to put in the work.

If it doesn't matter how you get motivated, you just have to do it. If not roughing-up the suspect gives you that extra motivation, then go for it. I am an atheist when it comes to the anti-wank movement, but I'll play agnostic for those who feel like it is helping.

I do have a problem with guys telling other guys that masturbation is bad for everyone, and that it will help motivate everybody to get better at game, without providing any hard evidence. My own experience contradicts these claims.

One could even argue that telling guys not to masturbate is another anti-male agenda..

[TheWolfHowls]

On Day 3 so far. I like this challenge. I do indeed feel more a desire to go out vs if i was at home beating it like i usually did lol.