[mofo]

I just realized that the 2-3 long term girlfriends I had in the past (and broke up with them because of my pussyhunger) are going to have babies from some other guy probably in the future. It feels weird and interesting.

I had deep connection with 2 girls so far , I dated both of them for more than a year.

Has any of you have experience in this thing (seeing exgf having some beta's baby)? How does it feel?

I'm not worried at all lol I was just thinking about it and I'm curious what it must be like.

[rudebwoy]

My last gf did the exact same thing, after we ended she got prego to some short/fat dude six months later. Homeboy married her shortly after and gave her the green card.
I was shocked and yes it felt totally weird. In the long run it was for the best, she wanted a child badly for many reasons.

Lesson Learned - be careful in dealing with women over age 30, they ALL have baby fever.

[Lumiere]

Yup, my Argentinian regular GF from when I lived in BsAs in 2007-2008 popped out a little histerica of her own just a few months ago with the guy that she is living with now.

I wished her the best, told her I was happy for her (which I am). I feel no envy.

[Timoteo]

Sometimes chicks just desperately want a baby, and it doesn't matter so much who they have one with. They don't really care about you anyway. My cousin's first wife did the same thing. He very much wanted a child with her, but because he magically didn't change who he was after they got married, she turned cold to him. They'd go month long stretches where she wouldn't fuck him. After they divorced, she immediately got pregnant for some random dude and doesn't even care if the guy wants to see the kid. She wanted a kid, but totally on HER terms. Chicks can be flat-out mercenary when they want something. My cousin now has a son with his new wife, but when the ex called him and told him she had a baby he was DEEPLY hurt. It was like a final smack in the face, saying she'd rather have a baby with a random dude than someone that loved her.

[rudebwoy]

(12-19-2011 08:02 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

Sometimes chicks just desperately want a baby, and it doesn't matter so much who they have one with. They don't really care about you anyway. My cousin's first wife did the same thing. He very much wanted a child with her, but because he magically didn't change who he was after they got married, she turned cold to him. They'd go month long stretches where she wouldn't fuck him. After they divorced, she immediately got pregnant for some random dude and doesn't even care if the guy wants to see the kid. She wanted a kid, but totally on HER terms. Chicks can be flat-out mercenary when they want something. My cousin now has a son with his new wife, but when the ex called him and told him she had a baby he was DEEPLY hurt. It was like a final smack in the face, saying she'd rather have a baby with a random dude than someone that loved her.

I guess that is how Men are different, I could not have a kid with some random chick. You are right though, she hit 35 and was desperate to get pregnant. She hoped I would do it but I could tell she wanted to be a stay at home mom, that would have killed all my dreams.

[mofo]

(12-19-2011 08:14 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(12-19-2011 08:02 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

Sometimes chicks just desperately want a baby, and it doesn't matter so much who they have one with. They don't really care about you anyway. My cousin's first wife did the same thing. He very much wanted a child with her, but because he magically didn't change who he was after they got married, she turned cold to him. They'd go month long stretches where she wouldn't fuck him. After they divorced, she immediately got pregnant for some random dude and doesn't even care if the guy wants to see the kid. She wanted a kid, but totally on HER terms. Chicks can be flat-out mercenary when they want something. My cousin now has a son with his new wife, but when the ex called him and told him she had a baby he was DEEPLY hurt. It was like a final smack in the face, saying she'd rather have a baby with a random dude than someone that loved her.

I guess that is how Men are different, I could not have a kid with some random chick. You are right though, she hit 35 and was desperate to get pregnant. She hoped I would do it but I could tell she wanted to be a stay at home mom, that would have killed all my dreams.

If she is a stay at home mom why does it kill your dreams? Women should be at home raising the kid, shouldn't she? I don't get it. Do you want her to be a career centric woman and your kid to be raised by a babysitter? I'm asking this honestly. What are your dreams? Climbing the Mount Everest with your woman and your kid on her back? Sounds fun to me.


One other story that validates your theory that women do not care who the baby's father is.

I have this 25 years old exfuckbuddy who is dating a 40 something guy now. She told me that she does not love the guy and cheats on him sometimes but she is off the pill and they don't use a condom because she wants to have a kid. I was shocked, like 'WTF? You don't love the guy...You are not financially stable, he is not financially stable, you still want to study, have your own goals. WTF?'
She said she can do it.

WTF?

[rudebwoy]

You are right there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. She was not bringing anything to the table, other than being a good lay. No I don't want to climb Everest, but I don't want to get stuck with a family that i have to work overtime to support.

[mofo]

(12-19-2011 09:50 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

You are right there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. She was not bringing anything to the table, other than being a good lay. No I don't want to climb Everest, but I don't want to get stuck with a family that i have to work overtime to support.

Do you want your wife to work too or you want to stay a player for a few more years?

[Pilgrim37]

I broke up with a Brasiliera about 18 months ago,basically over logistics/long distance .

As soon as we got together she talked of babies and our first meeting of a month or so went for it during fertility .It felt right as I'd known her for 5 years and knew her pretty well ,although she'd been married in the meantime.
But then the next couple of meetings of a month or so each ,although she talked of babies she didn't want to fuck during fertility window.
I thought this was weird as she was adamant about wanting more kids,she has one by an ex .

Anyways,we broke up after 2 years together,of that we spent 5 months actually together.

I think she wanted the perfect situation before kids,living together in Brazil,even though she knew I needed to work in the UK to support a family.
I could spend maybe 2-3 months in Brazil without work,so she would have had to move with her kid fulltime to be together All the time or to be together most of the time spend 4-6 months in the UK .

So 18 months later and I see she has a new boyfriend ,which ishouldn't surprise me but it does feel weird as a couple of months ago she was saying she still wanted to be together and have a baby.
She definitely has baby fever..we both did if I'm honest ,we're both mid to late 30's.
But I'm thinking it's not with me anymore..and that's quite painful.

She's not the jump from one guy to the next kind of woman...so I'm guessing she must have fallen for the guy who lives in the same city.

I'm reckoning she'll be pregnant soon and probably married and I just know I'm going to feel cut up about it ,as i feel she was the one and could I have done something different
(I should have got her and the kid to move as soon as we got together) so she didn't have that insecure feeling...that's what makes a woman choose one guy over the other .

If she fancies one guy but the other guy makes her feel secure about the future that's the one she'll go for!

Deep down I'm just hoping this guy fucks up somewhere ...terrible thing to say but I'd like to give it another shot,even though I know I still can't make things perfect.

That's the only advice I could give to others :

If you feel she's the one don't hesitate or let her feel insecure ..just go for it..and deal with whatever you have to..that's called life.

Hard to deal with a disappearing dream,losing a real beauty when you know it didn't have to be that way.

[Timoteo]

"If she fancies one guy but the other guy makes her feel secure about the future that's the one she'll go for!"

This is really it at the heart. They'll "settle" if another guy will be there for them, even if their feelings for him aren't as strong. Also, women always have options lined up. Even while she was with you, trying to make it work, she had another guy on the radar. She didn't just "jump" to the next guy. He was probably always right there. When women really want something, they'll do whatever they have to to get it. She wanted another baby, but wasn't sure you'd be there, that's why she stopped trying with you, even though you were still seeing each other.

My first cousin had this very thing happen to him. His employment was unsteady during his first marriage (he's a film maker, so he took whatever work in the business he could find, or even Starbucks, to keep money coming in), and the wife, though SHE had steady employment (worked for the Mayor's Office in LA), wasn't secure with him. She refused to have a child with him, or even fuck him at all for long stretches. Immediately after the divorce she had a kid with a random dude. She decided to essentially raise a kid alone than with a guy that loved her, but didn't make her feel secure.