[Carne]

I was at the gym today in Brazil and saw an attractive girl. I have seen her for months now. I was literally following her around the gym for half an hour today. I FINALLY FINALLY got some courage to go up to her. She could definitely sense my fear... I mean eight months has gone by and I was eyeing her a lot today. I used Roosh's line "Can I work in [elderly opener]" in English and then there was a pause and then I asked if her exams were finished. She said just a minute and flat out ignored my question about exams. It stang really hard. She could have at least answered my question. Why did I get rejected? Roosh is right when he says it is easier for some guys to give a presentation to a board of executives than to open a beautiful girl. Felt like I was trying to open President Obama. I was literally trembling before...just could not believe how beautiful she was...
Should I have just said I think you are beautiful in your outfit will you go out with me? I am a good looking guy without a facial deformity. What am I doing wrong? I got rejected in the gym before as well.....

she understood my question by the way. she is probably rich.

[Carne]

I'm going to see her again tomorrow probably. She could have at least answered my question. 10x harder to open in a gym without alcohol, people around me etc... You think she might be thinking, "oh it's almost Christmas, this gringo is going home in eight days and just wants to fuck me before leaving. took him eight months to open me. pussy"???

[Carne]

I'm starting to think that not being direct hurt me because I'm not going to straight to the point... She knows I don't want to work in....

Does this count as a cold approach by the way??

[drymarro]

Why did you take months to approach her? It's over dude. Move on, if you took that long to approach her and even then you messed up then you really need to work on your game and have more confidence in yourself. Read some books and get some inner game because it looks like you need it.

For gyms, just ask her about the workout or something elderly. Asking about exams is a little personal. Maybe your misinterpreting "Day Game"?

[Carne]

(12-12-2011 06:18 PM)drymarro Wrote:  

Why did you take months to approach her? It's over dude. Move on, if you took that long to approach her and even then you messed up then you really need to work on your game and have more confidence in yourself. Read some books and get some inner game because it looks like you need it.

For gyms, just ask her about the workout or something elderly. Asking about exams is a little personal. Maybe your misinterpreting "Day Game"?

I've read ALL THE BOOKS.

What about being more direct with her?

[Amour Fou]

If you do an "embarassing" approach like this 100 times it will eventually stop being so embarassing, you will be more relaxed and natural in your maneuvers and you will sub-communicate a much better vibe.

If you are uncomfortable, she will be uncomfortable. You set the vibe of the ineraction.

As you are now, can you help being uncomfortable and quirky? Probably no. What can you do to stop being uncomfortable and quirky? Exactly what you are doing: exposing yourself to situations that put you on your edge, on your limit, in touch with those nasty feelings.

You are doing it right! Don't blame yourself on it, and don't spend so much time going through it.

You only gotta keep doing it over and over. Eventually, it will become second nature to you, and your interactions (not all!!!) will have a much natural and spontaneous flow, proportionally to you being more relaxed and confident on your moves.

Till then, get this: a good portion of your interactions will be embarassing, quirky, maybe even downright ridiculous. Even after you get quite good at this, if you are still pushing your boundaries, there is no way to avoid "embarassing" moments, but you will be very comfortable with dealing with such moments and instead of spending time overthinking like you are doing now, you'll be busier approaching other girls and carring on with life.

There is nothing "unusual" with your situation, it is part of the whole process.

On the direct/indirect debate: what is more important is not the actual "words" you use, but the vibe you set, and the right vibe is only mastered with time. Chill.

EDIT: I'm just curious on which gym was this. You're in Rio, right?

[MiXX]

Carne, its over man..

If you read all the books, then the first things you learn is this:

1. Never hesitate; see a girl you like, approach - period!
2.Oneeyetis is deadly, stop doing this shit...it's also "creepy" (yeah, I hate using that word too).

You already blew it by being nervous, and putting her on a throne just because she is beautiful.....you should approach any beautiful woman like approaching any dude you meet. Her appearance should not be placed on a throne - EVER!

move on, this one is over!


Mixx

[Carne]

Thanks for all this feedback. Very helpful! I guess what I am trying to say is that this girl has smiled at me before and then I approached her and she blew me off. As we know in the game community, 99% of guys don't open they're mouths when they see a beautiful girl, and need drinks in them in a club before they approach, so it is frustrating to get completely blown off when she knows it is difficult for guys to approach and I made the effort. I mean you all know the story of the model that is the single because no guys approach her since she is so hot right? Thanks again.

[Riker]

(12-12-2011 06:47 PM)MiXX Wrote:  

you should approach any beautiful woman like approaching any dude you meet.


Mixx

This is money, and you can practice this all the time by just chatting up dudes, older ladies, everyone, just being a social dude. Then when the hot girl appears and you talk to her you're so used to being social and having conversations with strangers that you will be more chill.

That's what worked for me. I'll even admit it when I'm talking to a guy or older later I don't want to bang when they ask me or compliment me on being so social I'll be honest and tell them I started being that way so it would help me open and talk to hot girls and not be nervous.

[Roosh]

This is a one-itis problem. Moving to the newbie forum.