[Condor]

Hi Guys need some help - How do I open/approach someone working permanently behind a counter? Taking into account she’s older and pretty? And I am a bit younger.

Background - A couple of weeks back a new worker has joined at a cafe near my work. I would assume she is anywhere between mid to late 30’s. While you can make out her age – she makes it up in terms of raw beauty. Very womanly, reminds me of Frankie in Frankie and Johnny. She’s tried making eye contact – in a I noticed you too in a kind of way.

For context – cafe is not a fancy apple fanboi sort of a place – but more closer to a country roadside cafe. And the lady in question does not come across as a hipster/city bitch sort of person but as a working class person by the way she talks and dresses. My age is 28 and youngish face – I sometimes get ID checked at clubs. Decent looking. Not sure if this is important - I am dressed in suits/office wear when I visit the cafe and may come across (correctly) as a decently well to do corporate type.

I’ve googled but can’t find anything on the forum besides general threads that devolve into debates about older women etc.

I am just looking for specific actionable advice to game – not anthropological discussions regarding the nature of sexuality/milfs/cougars etc.

Help me bang this raw beauty.

All advice appreciated.

Cheers

[haywire]

There are a million ways of doing this. Just open her with something as simple as "Hey, how's it going?" and then transition from there by telling a few stories about your life. Judge her interest level by how much personal questions she asks you. Casually ask her what her weekend plans are, and if she asks you about yours tell her a few interesting things that you're planning to do. And if she sounds excited about one of the things you mentioned, subtly ask her if she wants to join you. This way even if she turns you down, you'd be saved from the embarrassment on future visits. Do this over 2-3 visits so she's known you and there's enough comfort, and by that time you'd have also figured whether she's available or not.

[Tuthmosis]

@condor: you get this.

   

[Layercake]

I'm not sure you should open by talking about yourself. Not straight away. Retain a little mystery.

Ask her some qualifying questions...simply "What's your name?" "Are you single?", "How many kids to you have?" - make her smile, chuckle, laugh maybe.

Seriously open her, get her engaged in a conversation, then if she seems interested, isolate her away from the office. Maybe grab a coffee together at a different venue obviously.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Quote:

Ask her some qualifying questions...simply "What's your name?" "Are you single?", "How many kids to you have?"

Since when are this qualifying questions? I think the name one would be just a normal, tiny expression of interest, and the other ones actually sound creepy to me.

[Layercake]

Handsome - I was only joking about those ACTUAL questions......the point I was making was by simply ask a few basic questions and by gauging her reaction, you can qualify whether or not she is interested.....her tone, pitch, look, body language...

[Caligula]

(11-30-2011 02:15 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Quote:

Ask her some qualifying questions...simply "What's your name?" "Are you single?", "How many kids to you have?"

Since when are this qualifying questions? I think the name one would be just a normal, tiny expression of interest, and the other ones actually sound creepy to me.

If you read Day Bang you'll see why you shouldn't lead with personal questions, or even ask personal questions at all in the beginning.

[Giovonny]

Ask her a work related question, or make a work related statement..

"I need to try that"
"That looks good"
"Its a little slow today"
"What is that"
"Ooh, that looks good"
"Ooh, I love those"
"What do you recommend"
"I've never tried that one, is it any good"


Something like that. No personal questions. Just friendly conversation. Let her get comfortable speaking to you. Keep it casual and light-hearted. Come back in a few days and order something from her, keep the conversation flowing.

[chyamor]

try the oh that smells good, what is it if shes drinking coffee. Women love to blah blah blah about coffee. Ever hear them order shit at starbucks, my god

[Layercake]

(12-01-2011 01:19 PM)Caligula Wrote:  

(11-30-2011 02:15 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Quote:

Ask her some qualifying questions...simply "What's your name?" "Are you single?", "How many kids to you have?"

Since when are this qualifying questions? I think the name one would be just a normal, tiny expression of interest, and the other ones actually sound creepy to me.

If you read Day Bang you'll see why you shouldn't lead with personal questions, or even ask personal questions at all in the beginning.

G & C - This is no disrespectful to "Bang" because I'm sure it is a great read - but it is not necessarily the Holy Bible. - There are lots of different books with different opinions. Asking a girl's name is never been a problem for me. As for the other 2 questions, I did say they were just joke questions..

I must admit though some of those work related questions also can work.

There is no "wrong" or "right" answer. Just opinions.

I've never had a problem meeting girls who are 8's & higher...but I do believe listen and learning is a never ending class....

[pitt]

yeah be indirect as much as you can but if she occasionally glanced at you, you should be able to fuck her real soon if you make the right move.

[PDX]

Hot baristas are like bartenders, they get the nicey-nice chit-chat from betas all day. They go into autopilot mode if that's what you bring. Other options:

1) Stop mid sentence as you're ordering her drink, pause, act like you just noticed a piece of jewelry or clothing that she's wearing, make a comment, ramble, etc. (pretty safe method)

2) "I'll have a grande americano, and this time, make it with a little love, mmmmkay?" Be playfully condescending.

3) "Damn, it's kinda dead in here today. Must be that everyone knew you were working." Probably my favorite line for any barista/bartender. Should only be used on girls that give a fun vibe to begin with, otherwise, you'll probably hear crickets.

[PDX]

Oh, and a good one for Starbucks...

Walk up to the counter and a order a "tall grande venti" with a deadpan expression.
Kills every time.