[dulst]

Title is pretty self explanatory. I've had a fuck buddy for the past 8 weeks and she is showing sign of attachment. Examples have been getting openly annoyed at me if I can't (read: don't want to) hang out with her, and doing the whole "what's wrong?" "oh... nothing" bullshit.

I don't care whether she keeps sleeping with me or not, I'm prepared to just walk away.

Problem is she's in some of my classes.

I'm studying Theoretical Physics and she's studying Maths so there is quite an overlap. To make maters worse my friends on my course have got to know her friends because my mate is currently fucking her mate.

I admit I've sorta shat on my own doorstep.

Any way out of this without ostracising myself from my social circle?

[Timoteo]

You've outlined the biggest problem with overlapping friendship circles. Everyone feels they have stake in each other's business and relationships. When one relationship goes sour, the ripple effect strikes everyone in the group and people may feel the need to take sides. In breakups/divorces, one side usually gets to keep the friends, and someone else is cast outside the circle. That's usually dictated by who is considered the bad guy, and who is considered the victim. You may have to be willing to blow up the circle. If your boy's girl feels uncomfortable with fucking the friend of the guy that rejected her girl, she'll have to figure that out for herself. Don't keep fucking/hanging with someone you'd rather not be with because you're afraid of collateral damage. Let it sort itself out.

[Nonpareil]

In my own experience, the best way to deal with CFD (Clingy Fuckbuddy Disorder) is the freeze-out; I have gotten a lot of mileage out of cold-shouldering a casual girl who had designs on becoming a serious girl, example;

Next time you're all together, be a little quieter and more sullen than usual. Eventually, this will happen;

Her: You've been awfully quiet tonight, is everything okay?
You: Yeah, I've just got some stuff on my mind.
Her: What is it? You can tell me.
You: I don't really want to talk about it right now.

I don't really want to talk about it right now...

Great deflector or greatest deflector? Be sure to include the 'right now' in it; it gives her the idea that while you don't want to talk about it right now, you may want to talk about it in the future. Makes the hamster run marathons. Since women are by nature self-absorbed, even if it's not about her, she'll think it is about her and that good feeling of dread will kick in.

9 times out of ten if you keep face, at the end of the night she'll fuck your brains out. Even better that you can just walk away.


If you're prepared to drop this girl, one thing you can (and should) do is alert your boy that's fucking the friend; remember how warlike and prone to building alliances women are. Pull your man aside when you know you're going to end it and say 'Yo Carlos, I'm going to Camille's place tonight and after I fuck her I'm dropping her like a bad habit, she's getting too familiar. This is going to affect your deal with Lindsay in some roundabout way, so plan accordingly.'

[Openbar]

Nonpareil's strategy is good. I would take that if I really didn't need or want to ever have her around.

An 8-week deal really isn't a FB relationship that requires more than superficial care -- 56 days of life was a good learning experience for her, and you can add that it was, also, for you. Then use Nonpareil's strategy, including the other social matters, and she will go and stay away.

She probably saw this, immaturely, as D1, D2...D56 of a budding LTR commitment. Try a turn on the commitment argument that of both of you have a primary commitment to study, advancement, etc. Then segue with a statement that you know that you would be secondary to her commitment to these matters, and you just could not accept that -- just as you could not commit yourself to a relationship at the cost of relegating your primary mission to secondary place. (DHV on the commitment to a mission bigger than both of you.)

Keep the door open. As studies progress, for both of you, a warm retreat, without tangles, may become more important. The 2-month investment for LTR payoff will become less important to her with time. I'd advise laying the ground for a real LT FB relationship. Two months is about the right place to cut. Good practice for building a soft harem.