I know this post is tl;dr, so if you want to skip to the meat, scroll down to the second bar.
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To be beta is to exist in a prison.
I recently met someone who is a living demonstration of this concept. He has a strong affection for a friend of mine who is what most men would classify a 9. An average man would fall for her very quickly, and many often do. I did, and still suffer.
Let's call him Matt. Matt has a bad habit of orbiting this girl, which was the only reason I could connect the dots.
"She is attractive, isn't she?"
"Yeah, she's beautiful..."
"I can tell you like her."
"I love her."
Two impulses flashed through my mind. The first was to cry, and the second was to punch Matt in the face. He reminded me of myself as a teenager.
"Look, man... I've been down this road before with [her]. The only thing I can tell you is this: either do something now, or kill it now. If you're going to go for it, be prepared for things to get extremely difficult. You're going to have to fight. You will be tested beyond your limits. If you're not willing to go through all that shit, kill off any desire you have for her right now. I made my decision, and I chose to kill it."
A lie.
In hindsight, I should have said that he would have to change, not fight. To be fair to Matt, we are both betas. I don't have a chance in hell, but Matt has even less than that. Everything about his social persona feels constrictive. Can you feel the difference between an introvert who chooses not to say anything and one who simply cannot say anything at all? The former radiates a soothing calm that is infectious; the latter feels like a prison.
Matt cracked a sly smile, and with a wistful look in his eye said, "I think I'm going to fight. I can do it."
The fool doesn't even know that he is in prison!
Matt did nothing that night, because he couldn't do anything. Everyone got drunk and high, and after it all died down it was myself and Matt left sleeping on the couches. This was while my friend was happily sharing her bed with an androgynous blonde man I had never seen before.
As far as I know, Matt left with nothing. The most I got from my friend was an odd proposal to sleep "in here". There was only one bed in the room, and two current occupants. The warden in my mind decided that to honor such a request would be inappropriate, so I ignored it. I settled for a hug before I left, to which my friend felt comfortable giving in her underwear.
So, yes. I also left with nothing.
Nothing but the prison.
_______________________________________________________________
I am in a dark place right now. My eyes have been opened to the possibilities for those brave men willing to do the work, exploit the system, and seize every opportunity. But, they are too open.
Now that I am aware of what to do, how to act in a more alpha-like manner, and, by extension, become more like man, it is becoming increasing painful to live in the old way. My feelings don't match my thoughts, which don't match my words, which don't match my actions. The old me would analyze things after the fact, but now I am aware of my countless mistakes in real time. Though, I make every effort to change, the beta me fights back reflexively and relentlessly.
I haven't read much about this online, but I would call the experience "beta withdrawal".
My good friend, a friend I shared my enthusiasm for game with, thinks game is a joke. He also gives me shit whenever I'm with him and I don't approach. Normally, this would be great, except the way he does this produces the opposite effect. I don't approach, and I feel like shit. It was his words that sparked this snowball into depression.
Every moment is pain. I can't stand to be in this body, in this mind, or in this prison any longer.
I will succeed, because I have no choice. But, is there a way to stop the pain? I would be doing a lot more for myself, but I can't operate like this.
_______________________________________________________________
To be beta is to exist in a prison.
I recently met someone who is a living demonstration of this concept. He has a strong affection for a friend of mine who is what most men would classify a 9. An average man would fall for her very quickly, and many often do. I did, and still suffer.
Let's call him Matt. Matt has a bad habit of orbiting this girl, which was the only reason I could connect the dots.
"She is attractive, isn't she?"
"Yeah, she's beautiful..."
"I can tell you like her."
"I love her."
Two impulses flashed through my mind. The first was to cry, and the second was to punch Matt in the face. He reminded me of myself as a teenager.
"Look, man... I've been down this road before with [her]. The only thing I can tell you is this: either do something now, or kill it now. If you're going to go for it, be prepared for things to get extremely difficult. You're going to have to fight. You will be tested beyond your limits. If you're not willing to go through all that shit, kill off any desire you have for her right now. I made my decision, and I chose to kill it."
A lie.
In hindsight, I should have said that he would have to change, not fight. To be fair to Matt, we are both betas. I don't have a chance in hell, but Matt has even less than that. Everything about his social persona feels constrictive. Can you feel the difference between an introvert who chooses not to say anything and one who simply cannot say anything at all? The former radiates a soothing calm that is infectious; the latter feels like a prison.
Matt cracked a sly smile, and with a wistful look in his eye said, "I think I'm going to fight. I can do it."
The fool doesn't even know that he is in prison!
Matt did nothing that night, because he couldn't do anything. Everyone got drunk and high, and after it all died down it was myself and Matt left sleeping on the couches. This was while my friend was happily sharing her bed with an androgynous blonde man I had never seen before.
As far as I know, Matt left with nothing. The most I got from my friend was an odd proposal to sleep "in here". There was only one bed in the room, and two current occupants. The warden in my mind decided that to honor such a request would be inappropriate, so I ignored it. I settled for a hug before I left, to which my friend felt comfortable giving in her underwear.
So, yes. I also left with nothing.
Nothing but the prison.
_______________________________________________________________
I am in a dark place right now. My eyes have been opened to the possibilities for those brave men willing to do the work, exploit the system, and seize every opportunity. But, they are too open.
Now that I am aware of what to do, how to act in a more alpha-like manner, and, by extension, become more like man, it is becoming increasing painful to live in the old way. My feelings don't match my thoughts, which don't match my words, which don't match my actions. The old me would analyze things after the fact, but now I am aware of my countless mistakes in real time. Though, I make every effort to change, the beta me fights back reflexively and relentlessly.
I haven't read much about this online, but I would call the experience "beta withdrawal".
My good friend, a friend I shared my enthusiasm for game with, thinks game is a joke. He also gives me shit whenever I'm with him and I don't approach. Normally, this would be great, except the way he does this produces the opposite effect. I don't approach, and I feel like shit. It was his words that sparked this snowball into depression.
Every moment is pain. I can't stand to be in this body, in this mind, or in this prison any longer.
I will succeed, because I have no choice. But, is there a way to stop the pain? I would be doing a lot more for myself, but I can't operate like this.
![[Image: smile.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/smile.gif)
