I think you did the right thing. This part here intrigues me:
Quote: (10-19-2011 11:12 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:
Then she gets all quiet and then says promise you wont tell anyone. (too bad im telling the internet) She tells me that she made a 'pact' with her friend saying that shes only going to do stuff with the next guy if hes the guy shes going to marry.
I noticed how you said that she said that she was "only going to do stuff with the
next guy", which pretty much proves the point MiXX and I were making earlier on.
She says "next guy", implying that there was at least one dude before who she allowed sexual access at a low price (read: not marriage or firm LTR).
You ought to be offended. Apparently, she respected that guy(or those guys) enough to award them quick sexual access. For you, though, she puts up walls and insists on a high price (lots of time, firm commitment before sex, etc). They get quick sex, you get to jump through hoops. All they needed to get in her pants was game, while she insists that you need game AND a wedding ring.
What that tells me is that she clearly doesn't value you or your time very much. A woman like that isn't worth your effort. It would be one thing if she was being consistent(read: if she really and truly hadn't "done stuff" with other guys before), but from what you're saying it is clear that she's just changing the rules for you to suit her own selfishness. Such blatantly hypocritical disrespect deserves an instant "next".
On another related tangent...
This actually reminds me of the resolution of the male "Maddona-whore" complex. Girls will read what I'm saying here and complain "Oh, so when she sleeps around with you quickly she's a whore, but when she doesn't she's a bitch who deserves next? Hypocrite!"
What they don't understand is that this complex is simple to resolve. Men want Maddonna AND the Whore, but in a specific way. Their ideal is a girl who carries both sides, but expresses her "whore" side
only for him. It is the exclusivity of the expression of the "whore" that makes the difference.
Men want this exclusivity because of an
evolved, hardwired fear of cuckolding. Men value a woman expressing her sexuality for him exclusively because it ensures his kids are his, and that he hasn't been duped by another male.
This is why a girl who shows her 'whore' side to many men gets labelled and insulted. A guy will never apply the same treatment to a woman who behaves in just as kinky and freaky a fashion sexually, but ONLY WITH HIM(or one guy exclusively at any time). Example:
Girl A: Had an exclusive BF for 2 years. Only ever had sex with him over that time. Let him do anything, including Ass-to-mouth and other kinky things.
Girl B: Only ever had "regular" vaginal sex, but spread it out with dozens of guys over the same two year period and allowed some of them to run trains on her all at once.
Girl A will never receive the viscous labels Girl B will, even though one could argue that the things she did were somewhat freakier. Girl B will be known as the neighborhood bike. Exclusivity is key.
To men, a female's expression of sex with them is valuable individually, but loses that value when it is spread out among too many guys. Men place a very high value on the "whore" side when it is expressed exclusively for them and they can be sure of this.
That exclusive expression is arguably the best compliment a girl can pay a guy. Every other chump gets Madonna, and can only dream of glimpsing the whore(her sexuality). But he(and ONLY he) gets to see her Madonna AND her whore.
This girl, WesternCancer, has inverted this complex and essentially paid you the greatest insult a woman can give a man. She has said that, while all the other guys got to see "the whore", you only get to see Madonna. She saves the valuable expression of her sexuality for other guys(though it is cheapened by her obviously having spread it out aong several of them) but withholds it from you and charges you more for it. You ought to have no more to do with her.
Don't beat yourself up about this either ("Damn, my game should have been tighter!!!"). This is just her being selfish and rude. The only thing you can improve here is your tolerance, or lack thereof. NEVER put up with this kind of treatment from a girl. Walk away immediately and don't look back (unless it is to a clear offer of casual sex from her with the hoops/walls removed). Casual, but firm intolerance (that means don't scowl and cuss as you do it, but at the same time make it very clear where you stand) is the only defence against this type of disrespect. Girls will learn how to act when they see you won't take this type of crap in stride.