[evesy]

Hi guys so I was at this bar drinking alone ( pretty sad; but im new in town and dont know anyone ) and this girl walked in alone and sat next to me at the bar; so i got talking to her and things seemed to be going well, she is amazingly good looking and fast became center of attention with all the other guys and girls in the bar that night. I found myself getting totally cock blocked but i refused to give up; this girl had already been given the numbers of several guys including myown and in my case as i happened to have my iphone with me she even added me to her facebook. so I'm sat with her toward the end of the night and she is talking to me about how most guys are dicks; maybe it was the alcohol in me but this seemed like a good time to ask her if i could take her out for a drink sometime, she agreed and gave me her number. I decided to quite while ahead, told her i was leaving and I gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

so i was going to play the noncholant appreach and wait a while to call her, but as it turned out she sent me a txt message the next day at around 9pm, it read "hey you what are you doing tonight?" unfortunatly i was out and didnt have my phone with me, so i didnt know about the txt untill like 3:30am. i decided not to message back until the morning, so i got up early and by early i mean 10am and called her. it went to her voice mail, i was prepared for this so i left a message saying i'd just seen her text and thats why i was calling but i guess she's still sleeping which is what i should still be doing at such an ungodley hour, i also said id call again in a few hours. so a few hours pass and i call again but still she doesnt answer, i didnt leave another message. but then 10 mins later i noticed she had posed on my facebook wall saying "hey it was sweet meeting you and we'l defo go out for a drink" so im think ok, maybe she just doesnt like to talk on the phone, maybe i'l txt her instead, so i did saying " hey you, what you doing later" .... she didnt reply and i havnt heard from her since she posted on my facebook this morning. so its like 3:30am now , no i havnt been sat around waiting for her to call, but i am really confused now,

i dont get why she hasnt got in contact when she made the first move to contact me last night. also she is canadian and im british, i'm going back to england in a few weeks and she knows this, but she also knows that i'l be back in canada for uni. she told me she really liked my accent and that she would love to go to england someday so i was thinking im defo in with a shot here.

so; any advise, do i write her off now or do i send her another text message tomorrow maybe and what should it say , i was thinking maybe just say " hey lets go for that drink " right to the point ?

thanks in advance

[charmer]

(06-04-2009 02:39 AM)evesy Wrote:  

Hi guys so I was at this bar drinking alone ( pretty sad; but im new in town and dont know anyone ) and this girl walked in alone and sat next to me at the bar; so i got talking to her and things seemed to be going well, she is amazingly good looking and fast became center of attention with all the other guys and girls in the bar that night. I found myself getting totally cock blocked but i refused to give up; this girl had already been given the numbers of several guys including myown and in my case as i happened to have my iphone with me she even added me to her facebook. so I'm sat with her toward the end of the night and she is talking to me about how most guys are dicks; maybe it was the alcohol in me but this seemed like a good time to ask her if i could take her out for a drink sometime, she agreed and gave me her number. I decided to quite while ahead, told her i was leaving and I gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

so i was going to play the noncholant appreach and wait a while to call her, but as it turned out she sent me a txt message the next day at around 9pm, it read "hey you what are you doing tonight?" unfortunatly i was out and didnt have my phone with me, so i didnt know about the txt untill like 3:30am. i decided not to message back until the morning, so i got up early and by early i mean 10am and called her. it went to her voice mail, i was prepared for this so i left a message saying i'd just seen her text and thats why i was calling but i guess she's still sleeping which is what i should still be doing at such an ungodley hour, i also said id call again in a few hours. so a few hours pass and i call again but still she doesnt answer, i didnt leave another message. but then 10 mins later i noticed she had posed on my facebook wall saying "hey it was sweet meeting you and we'l defo go out for a drink" so im think ok, maybe she just doesnt like to talk on the phone, maybe i'l txt her instead, so i did saying " hey you, what you doing later" .... she didnt reply and i havnt heard from her since she posted on my facebook this morning. so its like 3:30am now , no i havnt been sat around waiting for her to call, but i am really confused now,

i dont get why she hasnt got in contact when she made the first move to contact me last night. also she is canadian and im british, i'm going back to england in a few weeks and she knows this, but she also knows that i'l be back in canada for uni. she told me she really liked my accent and that she would love to go to england someday so i was thinking im defo in with a shot here.

so; any advise, do i write her off now or do i send her another text message tomorrow maybe and what should it say , i was thinking maybe just say " hey lets go for that drink " right to the point ?

thanks in advance

girls who makes first move...often end it first as well.

she got many options for her as you told that she is center of attention.....your first mistake was to call her twice while she just sent a txt..

just b little bit arrogant and dont ask her out again...she alrready knows what you want....put the cards on table and see what happens....you sure will have a destiny....good or bad...dats luck

[Hangover]

Happens all the time, and before I did same mistakes as you did. Charmer is right about being the center of attention and about calling her twice after just receiving a message from her. Girls like attention and fish for options - she had several the night you met her. You seemed like a good enough guy, sweet and all, so she texted you because maybe her first and second options didn't work out. Who knows where you were in her rolodex.

What you should've done is escalate that night you met her - your first mistake was to leave her alone with just a peck on the lips. You should have went for a makeout session and stuck around. Second, you screwed the phone game. At this point, just forget her and move on. If she texts you again, wait for a day or two but in most cases, this should be considered DOA already.

[evesy]

ok thanks guys i kinda figured i should write her off, she still hasnt been intouch since i text her yesturday afternoon and i dont think she will now. fuck it, the odds are stacked in my favor with a British accent in Toronto, pluss im getting use to the idea of approching girls in bars and just talking to them. it all about having the confidence to try

[InternationPlayboy]

Quit trying so much to get ahold of her. After you left the message you should have waited for her to call you. If she didn't call back, maybe try again a day or two later. If she doesn't call back then, fuck her and find another.

[kerouac]

Yeah, it's a needy behavior that turns girls off. What I would do in this time, since you are new to a city, is develop your social circle first. While you're developing your social circle, work on your day game and get some girls numbers walking around Toronto. Go on dates with them, bang them, and give them an orange as a memento.

Also, read Bang. That's what Roosh's book is all about:

BANGING!

[evesy]

lol so quick up date; i just got bk from the same bar; where i just saw the girl in question again. she was already at the bar and quite drunk when i got there and had a female friend with her. she was friendly enough and asked me to join her and her friend at a table. we talked for a while , her friend asked me who i was with.. (not knowing anyone in town i was on my own again) she replyed with " what ever floats ya boat" lol i just gave her a bitchy smile. anyway i had already written her off; so when they both siad they were goin to the washrooms together i didnt expect them to come back, and they didnt! so i made conversation with some other girl who unfortunatly has a boy friend but who cares I wasnt sat alone and i got some decent conversation out of it. the funny thing is, the first girl who this post was about; said " OMG did my sister text you and try to call you?" im like " erm i got a text message from you the other night" she's like " oh no that was my little sister, she got my phone and she thought u was someone else whos she knows"

come to think if it i did have a missed call that night as well but i dont have caller id so i figured it was just fido calling me about my bill lol, what ever; i doubt it was her sister but the fact iv seen this girl twice in as many days probably means il see her again, she just turned 19 last week and i think this is her local, yea 19 lol she told me she was 21 the other night, hummmmm.why lie about that, im 25 and still look about 19ish i strugle to buy smokes around here becuase they wont accept my UK drivers licence as ID.

why are girls so hard to understand? lol so guys i know that i should forget about this girl, but seen as i have nothing left to lose i was thinking about trying to made her keep good to her word an go out on a date, nothing special just like... we've met a few times now and we know each other, let hang out and go for a drink, nothing sexual implyed... obviously somthing sexual is implyed but i need to get her away from the normal night time scene. i dont think she does anything during the day, i asked her about work/ school and all she said was she is going to UT in september. if i could get her to come out in the afternoon when the pubs are quiet and we can talk more with out 100's of other guys cock blocking me i might still have a chance.

so given that i am not quite ready to give up on this, does anyone have any good advise, and im not looking for advise telling me to fotget about this chick, becuase yes i know its probably a lost cause and i know there are many more chicks out there but still, if i was going to try, then how should i go about it?

[familydude]

I dunno, you seem to be playing it fine (except for posting 4 paragraphs on the issue and over thinking). Keep on going out, it seems like you'll stumble on her again, be friendly, do your own thing like you did the previous night, have fun. As for the 100 other guys, what do you think they're trying to do? Get her to come out in the afternoon when they don't get cockblocked by dudes like you. Just a thought.

[Trotter]

Sexual tension.

Which it sounds like you haven't built any of. Probably attraction too but that's more difficult to gauge.

[Lumiere]

You are being too indirect.

Give her an SOI and try to isolate and escalate.

[Trotter]

Okay, the only two things I find being done wrong is him not showing indifference to the girl. Calling and texting repetatively is a sign of neediness and most girls are turned off by that. And he seems to come across too anxious when he does end up seeing her.

The second thing he's not building attraction or sexual tension. It sounds like you're just being a regular guy doing regular things with some signs of weakness and neediness.

For example:

Quote:

but this seemed like a good time to ask her if i could take her out for a drink sometime, she agreed and gave me her number.

What's wrong with this is you're asking her for approval. I almost cringe to think she gave you her number just to be polite and quite possibly it wasn't her number and could have very well in fact been her sister's number due to later comments.

Let's fix this by saying:

"Now seemed like a good moment to escalate things so I took out my phone and told her to key her number in. Satisfied I disinterestingly said 'Maybe we can hang out later if I think you're going to be nice to me.' and walked away never looking back."

Another example:

Quote:

we talked for a while , her friend asked me who i was with.. (not knowing anyone in town i was on my own again) she replyed with " what ever floats ya boat" lol i just gave her a bitchy smile.

Fixed:

"We talked for a while and her friend asked who I was with. I quickly shot back "If you play your cards right maybe you." and coyly smirked at her."

Which sets up the ground work for sexual tension and possible attraction. Any number of things could have been said here that was much better than the boring responce you gave.

Example:

Quote:

so when they both siad they were goin to the washrooms together i didnt expect them to come back, and they didnt!

Umm, of course. They were just looking to get away from you at that point. My guess is you were giving them some sort of creepy vibe. But that's just my conjecture.

Fixed:

"I grabbed both of them by the hands and said to follow me."

or

"I grabbed the first one by the hand and told her to follow me. I successfully navigated her to a different part of the bar separating her from her friend."

The theory in game is that if you can get a girl to trust you enough to lead her by the hand to somewhere completely different then that's a good IOI or sign that she's willing to take things a little further. In fact, this is what should have happened when you first met her. If I were in your shoes during the second encounter I would have taken both of them and seen where things lead up to from that point.

Anyhow, it's tough trying to disect these problems like this. Hopefully, you get an idea of how the things you have done could have been better. Cheers!

[Roosh]

You got too needy starting with the 10am call. Why would you call a girl in the morning? Why leave a voicemail saying you're going to call later?

Instead you should have waited that afternoon saying, "Hey sorry missed your text. what are you doing later."

My guess is you scared her.