[Alpone]

"Am I An Asshole For Refusing To Support My Wife Through Her Diagnosis After Her Infidelity?"

Quote:

She recently went away with her friend for a girls trip. The first two days after she came back everything was fine, and on the third we went to dinner with this friend and her boyfriend. Dinner went well, came home and went to bed. Wife woke me up in the middle of the night crying saying there was something she had to tell me. Long story short, she had cheated on me the entire trip and her friend had cheated on her boyfriend as well, apparently the dinner together caused her to have an attack of conscience because she messaged my wife after I had fallen asleep telling her that she was going to come clean to her partner and my wife had to tell me as well or she would.

Guy moves out and initiates divorce. Then the wife gets cancer. He says he doesn't want to help with her care. The responses are a mix of white knight cucks, batshit sjw women telling him he's being "sexist", and some woke guys telling him he's right. Scrolling down the responses, actually a lot of people are telling him he's right.

We all know the correct answer here - get the fuck out and let the woman marinate in the consequences of her own bad decisions. But because of muh feminist divorce laws, he could still be on the hook for alimony. Here's some advice by a commenter

Quote:

I was married for 20 years and divorced because of her infidelity, and it was very similar to your situation in that we got along great and I think she just did it for the thrill. Still, I was staring at seven years of paying her >$1,000 a month plus six figures in a lump sum settlement even through she has a great job and cheated on me. It worked out for me because, basically, I was able to convince her through amicable and well-timed negotiation that my solution (quick, clean dissolution, no alimony, one attorney to handle the paperwork) was just the right way to go.

So, my asshole advice is this ... if you are the one who will suffer most in a divorce, use a feigned reconciliation over her cancer to your advantage and exploit the trust you engender to negotiate a clean split where you pay no alimony, keep your retirement and other assets and get your fair share of the house equity; key to this is you must make her feel comfortable enough to not get an attorney, even if you have one. If you are the one who will gain in a divorce, then you need to push it through ASAP (you can still be amicable) while she is preoccupied with her cancer.

Either way, talk to an attorney yesterday. As soon as she does, an amicable, clean split on your terms will be impossible.

I know this may sound horrible to some, but depending on your personal situation, how you manage this split could easily be the defining factor in your quality of life for the rest of your life. You have to take it seriously and yes you have to be what many people would consider an asshole. That said, if you do this right, you could get what you want in the split and still come out on the other side looking like a good guy -- supporting your ex in her time of need -- if that is important to you.

tldr: Hire an attorney ASAP, tell him/her everything and do what he/she says; fake compassion to the cheater to manipulate her into proceeding without her own attorney.

The guy has a point. Fake some compassion, throw her a bone and game the feminist-industrial divorce system.

Lots of lessons in this story about feral married women taking "girl vacations", proper boundaries and divorce in America. Bad situation for the guy all around. As for the woman - I hope that vacation cock was worth it.

[[email protected]]

Quote:

I know this may sound horrible to some, but depending on your personal situation, how you manage this split could easily be the defining factor in your quality of life for the rest of your life.

More like for the rest of her life. Not sure how bad the cancer is but I wouldn't take advice from self-confessed cuckolds or women.

[Captainstabbin]

The answer depends on the type of cancer. Does she have 6 months to live or will she cut off her tits and be fine?

If he divorces her and she dies in a year, all of his money goes to her family...or even a random guy who might come along. It's better to stick it out, not divorce and keep his money.

If she's going to recover, there's no use in trying to pretend to be her friend and hoping for a better settlement. When he eventually moves on, she'll file for an amendment to the divorce decree and take everything anyway. She'll easily get money for medical expenses and probably even more alimony if she's unable (or unwilling) to work.

[EndsExpect]

(03-28-2019 07:08 PM)Alpone Wrote:  

Lots of lessons in this story about feral married women taking "girl vacations", proper boundaries and divorce in America. Bad situation for the guy all around. As for the woman - I hope that vacation cock was worth it.

I'm going to be straight with you on this one. The whole "girls night out" is essentially a shit test. It has always been a shit test and always will be.

Women will often cheat on overly permissive men. It makes them feel like the guys don't care enough. Most men are desperately afraid to seem "controlling", but women will take a controlling guy over a weak man any day. So, the trick is to walk that fine line between controlling and protective. The key is to focus your argument not on her actions as if you don't trust her, but to instead focus your argument on her not going out because of other men.

[TigerMandingo]

(03-28-2019 10:51 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

I'm going to be straight with you on this one. The whole "girls night out" is essentially a shit test. It has always been a shit test and always will be.

Women will often cheat on overly permissive men. It makes them feel like the guys don't care enough. Most men are desperately afraid to seem "controlling", but women will take a controlling guy over a weak man any day. So, the trick is to walk that fine line between controlling and protective. The key is to focus your argument not on her actions as if you don't trust her, but to instead focus your argument on her not going out because of other men.

The best prophylactic against cheating is to bang the shit out of her (make sure you give her orgasms) and have a semi-aloof attitude. I've found that that always works. It would take a special kind of whore to still cheat after that.

[Kona]

(03-28-2019 10:29 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

The answer depends on the type of cancer. Does she have 6 months to live or will she cut off her tits and be fine?

If he divorces her and she dies in a year, all of his money goes to her family...or even a random guy who might come along. It's better to stick it out, not divorce and keep his money.

If she's going to recover, there's no use in trying to pretend to be her friend and hoping for a better settlement. When he eventually moves on, she'll file for an amendment to the divorce decree and take everything anyway. She'll easily get money for medical expenses and probably even more alimony if she's unable (or unwilling) to work.

My idea is to drag the divorce out as long as possible until she dies. Or make it so stressful that she cracks agrees to walk off with nothing, considering her weakened state.

Business is business.

Aloha!

[Fortis]

(03-29-2019 12:21 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

The best prophylactic against cheating is to bang the shit out of her (make sure you give her orgasms) and have a semi-aloof attitude. I've found that that always works. It would take a special kind of whore to still cheat after that.

Yeah, I once met a guy a longggg time ago who told me he never lets his wife go out to hang out unless she's taking the kids somewhere.

I thought he was a bit batshit, but after my proper RVF education, I totally see the logic.

I can't speak on this in regards to marriage or LTRs, but I've noticed that wild, profligate fucking usually puts an unruly girl in the roster in line.

Smash her lights out and then go a bit cooler than average. This goes even better if you smash her and then promptly have somewhere to go afterward followed by coolness for a while.

The mix signals fry their circuits and they start overextending.

[MajorStyles]

Women bail on sick men all the time; you just never hear about it.

My friend was in the hospital getting a brain tumor removed when his wife filed for divorce. Another guy I know was in serious condition, battling a leg infection, when his wife filed for divorce.

Virtuous concepts are masculine in nature; i.e. honor, integrity, dignity, etc. Women are basically running from one emotion to another and, without a patriarchal shaming system in place, will veer into the most amoral of positions.

[rapaz12]

Wow. This reminds me of an episode of that show Terriers where some dude was messing around on his wife with cancer.

This brings up an interesting conundrum though. I think I'd stick around and just start seeing other women in the meantime.

[heavy]

Marriage was over at some point before the time of cheating.

The only question is (addressed and argued in another somewhat recent thread on here):

Is it possible to have feelings / condolences / sympathy etc for your ex wife (or LTR gf)? Let's say she gets cancer, or her dad dies, or some other tragedy after you separate.

I did. But I understand people who don't. It's just a personality type in my opinion, not really that big of deal either way.

Till death do us part. She parted. Sorry, sucks you have cancer, good luck with the chemo.

[Mr. D]

(03-29-2019 01:28 AM)MajorStyles Wrote:  

Women bail on sick men all the time; you just never hear about it.

My friend was in the hospital getting a brain tumor removed when his wife filed for divorce. Another guy I know was in serious condition, battling a leg infection, when his wife filed for divorce.

Virtuous concepts are masculine in nature; i.e. honor, integrity, dignity, etc. Women are basically running from one emotion to another and, without a patriarchal shaming system in place, will veer into the most amoral of positions.

Usually doggy or 69.

[EndsExpect]

(03-29-2019 12:21 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

The best prophylactic against cheating is to bang the shit out of her (make sure you give her orgasms) and have a semi-aloof attitude. I've found that that always works. It would take a special kind of whore to still cheat after that.

I know lots of guys who think they have the magic dick. Their women still cheat. Now, I'm not saying this doesn't help, but it isn't the answer.

The great part of about the guys who think their dicks can solve all problems, is that they are also stupid enough to never realize or believe their wife would cheat. So, most of them go about their lives completely oblivious to the fact that they are being fooled.

I tell you this.... a faithful wife is one that wants to be faithful. A woman that wants to be faithful doesn't put herself into sketch situations. Instead she devotes herself to her man and her children and makes them the centerpiece of her life.

[Tytalus]

All the top responses in that reddit post are saying he's NTA or "not the asshole." In fact, I dug deeper and couldn't find a single (Direct) respondant saying he's the asshole.

[ilostabet]

(03-29-2019 12:21 AM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  

(03-28-2019 10:51 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

I'm going to be straight with you on this one. The whole "girls night out" is essentially a shit test. It has always been a shit test and always will be.

Women will often cheat on overly permissive men. It makes them feel like the guys don't care enough. Most men are desperately afraid to seem "controlling", but women will take a controlling guy over a weak man any day. So, the trick is to walk that fine line between controlling and protective. The key is to focus your argument not on her actions as if you don't trust her, but to instead focus your argument on her not going out because of other men.

The best prophylactic against cheating is to bang the shit out of her (make sure you give her orgasms) and have a semi-aloof attitude. I've found that that always works. It would take a special kind of whore to still cheat after that.

I've been cheated on once (that I know), and I used to do both of those. I actually went out of my way to have a IDGAF attitude about her going out, what she wore, even if inside I was mad. But I thought that expressing this would lead her to think I'm weak. She still cheated on me with some guy on a night out.

Never again. I am extremely controlling of my wife, and have been since the beginning of our relationship. She knows better than to ask for nights out, but if she did, it would be an easy 'no' - and no discussion. For casual flings, sure, be aloof and do not give a fuck - it helps. For relationships, women NEED to know that they are yours and yours alone, and that you will not take any of this 'liberation' crap. She is my wife, a lady, not some random bar slut. She is MINE, she knows it and appreciates it.

[Captainstabbin]

Women's night out is a way to search for new dick while having someone waiting at home to stroke their ego if they strike out...and someone paying for everything. It starts with them wanting to flirt to prove to themselves that "they still got it" and progresses from there. There's no way it's a good thing for you, the relationship or even for her.

I've seen a lot of women bail out of their safe marriage to good men and all of them failed to stick the landing. They become the most bitter, hateful women in existence.

[eradicator]

Reads as fake. I somehow think a lot of those nta subreddit stories are totally fake and just looking for attention

[RIslander]

I would let my wife (if I had one) go on a "girl's trip". But shes going to a retreat in Vermont or Maine or some shit and not fucking Vegas or Atlantic City. Furthermore I would call and check up on her at the hotel number. She also could expect the same from me... I would be a hunting/camping trip or off SCUBA diving for a weekend with my buddies and not fucking around random sluts. Its disrespectful for either party to go to a sexualized environment alone after taking an oath of marriage.

[Only One Man]

(03-28-2019 10:51 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(03-28-2019 07:08 PM)Alpone Wrote:  

Lots of lessons in this story about feral married women taking "girl vacations", proper boundaries and divorce in America. Bad situation for the guy all around. As for the woman - I hope that vacation cock was worth it.

I'm going to be straight with you on this one. The whole "girls night out" is essentially a shit test. It has always been a shit test and always will be.

Women will often cheat on overly permissive men. It makes them feel like the guys don't care enough. Most men are desperately afraid to seem "controlling", but women will take a controlling guy over a weak man any day. So, the trick is to walk that fine line between controlling and protective. The key is to focus your argument not on her actions as if you don't trust her, but to instead focus your argument on her not going out because of other men.

If you don't trust your girlfriend or wife enough to be confident that she isn't gonna cheat on you when she goes out with her girlfriends or goes on a trip without you, or even if she's talking to strange men at the bar, then you've already lost. Being a controlling dickhead isn't gonna change anything. Either you're a pussy, not fucking her right, or not cool enough, or she's a whore who would have cheated on you regardless. Not letting your girlfriend have a life outside of you sounds fucking exhausting.

[CynicalContrarian]

What was that about feminism being cancer...?