...to talk you out of the woman you thought was "The One"?
And what would they have to say to get through to you?
And what would they have to say to get through to you?
Who in your life would you trust...
A close, long-term guy friend who I respect as a Man, and who I've had respectful disagreements, and later reconciliations with in the past -- showing their range and loyalty even during bad times. Ones who I've had to count on before and could count on me.
I've been that friend and have helped a few close ones see the light about a particular broad -- I wait as long as possible, until they show signs of "someone please give me hints".
-
As for myself, while I've had a couple of after-the-fact "yeah I didn't see you two together longterm" words from close friends, the only time I ever remember something direct was long ago, when I was "casually" seeing this same girl for about two years, not giving her the title nor the exclusivity. I knew I had to let her go, she was a great friend and great fuck, but somewhat of a butter face and I already had enough doubts.
I popped in with that girl to a small show my friend was doing. Later she went home (lived nearby) and I stayed out (probably to find some trim anyway). Later I circled back to his spot as he was packing up, and he bluntly said "dude, you should be with a much hotter chick!".
Mind you it was a guy I hadn't known that well, and he had great respect for me helping him solidify a move to the city and some good industry connections. Somehow I wasn't even mad, and I didn't say anything...
Within a month I had a girl more on my level and it got me over a subtle psychological hump of "really cute but with one flaw" types.
In the decade since, I've had a quality over quantity phase and its held up. It just refined a filter I had, it didn't create some care about what other people think of me.
--
As far as someone checking me because a girl is manipulative or toxic? Nope... I'm pretty good at judging that. I was in deep one time with a BPD girl, cut it off at the pass after 5 months. Friends hadn't "gotten" the toxicity of her yet, and were grilling me why I cut it off.
I HOPE they would have called me out if it kept on and they caught on. That girl was smart enough to get past obvious tells. (She was one of the hottest ones, so while she passed my upgraded looks filter, she didn't meet the behavior threshold [which has since been upgraded!]).
--
What good are friends if they can't tell the difficult?
I almost relish times like that (giving AND receiving) because it's cathartic and valuable and what love is.
I've been that friend and have helped a few close ones see the light about a particular broad -- I wait as long as possible, until they show signs of "someone please give me hints".
-
As for myself, while I've had a couple of after-the-fact "yeah I didn't see you two together longterm" words from close friends, the only time I ever remember something direct was long ago, when I was "casually" seeing this same girl for about two years, not giving her the title nor the exclusivity. I knew I had to let her go, she was a great friend and great fuck, but somewhat of a butter face and I already had enough doubts.
I popped in with that girl to a small show my friend was doing. Later she went home (lived nearby) and I stayed out (probably to find some trim anyway). Later I circled back to his spot as he was packing up, and he bluntly said "dude, you should be with a much hotter chick!".
Mind you it was a guy I hadn't known that well, and he had great respect for me helping him solidify a move to the city and some good industry connections. Somehow I wasn't even mad, and I didn't say anything...
Within a month I had a girl more on my level and it got me over a subtle psychological hump of "really cute but with one flaw" types.
In the decade since, I've had a quality over quantity phase and its held up. It just refined a filter I had, it didn't create some care about what other people think of me.
--
As far as someone checking me because a girl is manipulative or toxic? Nope... I'm pretty good at judging that. I was in deep one time with a BPD girl, cut it off at the pass after 5 months. Friends hadn't "gotten" the toxicity of her yet, and were grilling me why I cut it off.
I HOPE they would have called me out if it kept on and they caught on. That girl was smart enough to get past obvious tells. (She was one of the hottest ones, so while she passed my upgraded looks filter, she didn't meet the behavior threshold [which has since been upgraded!]).
--
What good are friends if they can't tell the difficult?
I almost relish times like that (giving AND receiving) because it's cathartic and valuable and what love is.
Listen to your parents. Seriously. Let's her meet your parents early on, they're great filters and will tell you if they don't like the girl.
Keep bringing her over for dinner or even with some BS excuse. Your parents will always observe and judge her. She can hide her nature for only so long until red flags start popping up if she has them.
Your father will recognize bad behavior and so will your mother, the one who especially won't be blinded by her beauty.
Keep bringing her over for dinner or even with some BS excuse. Your parents will always observe and judge her. She can hide her nature for only so long until red flags start popping up if she has them.
Your father will recognize bad behavior and so will your mother, the one who especially won't be blinded by her beauty.
I trust literally nobody in my life with money.
Quote: (03-26-2019 10:58 PM)Balls_Hang_Low Wrote:
Listen to your parents. Seriously. Let's her meet your parents early on, they're great filters and will tell you if they don't like the girl.
Keep bringing her over for dinner or even with some BS excuse. Your parents will always observe and judge her. She can hide her nature for only so long until red flags start popping up if she has them.
Your father will recognize bad behavior and so will your mother, the one who especially won't be blinded by her beauty.
This advice only works if your parents are solid people. As some people in other posts have detailed, they don't get along with their parents, or their parents just flat out suck. Having great parents is a big advantage a lot of people unfortunately don't have.
OP makes a good case for having a solid group of friends you can depend on. I think having a good friend group is crucial before diving deep into game. They can give you advice and support when you inevitably get frustrated with the grind of modern gaming. Bros before hoes always
Quote: (03-27-2019 10:10 AM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:
Quote: (03-26-2019 10:58 PM)Balls_Hang_Low Wrote:
Listen to your parents. Seriously. Let's her meet your parents early on, they're great filters and will tell you if they don't like the girl.
Keep bringing her over for dinner or even with some BS excuse. Your parents will always observe and judge her. She can hide her nature for only so long until red flags start popping up if she has them.
Your father will recognize bad behavior and so will your mother, the one who especially won't be blinded by her beauty.
This advice only works if your parents are solid people. As some people in other posts have detailed, they don't get along with their parents, or their parents just flat out suck. Having great parents is a big advantage a lot of people unfortunately don't have.
OP makes a good case for having a solid group of friends you can depend on. I think having a good friend group is crucial before diving deep into game. They can give you advice and support when you inevitably get frustrated with the grind of modern gaming. Bros before hoes always
Yeah, to think people are great judges of character just because they have children is magical thinking.
Quote: (03-26-2019 10:58 PM)Balls_Hang_Low Wrote:
Listen to your parents. Seriously. Let's her meet your parents early on, they're great filters and will tell you if they don't like the girl.
Keep bringing her over for dinner or even with some BS excuse. Your parents will always observe and judge her. She can hide her nature for only so long until red flags start popping up if she has them.
Your father will recognize bad behavior and so will your mother, the one who especially won't be blinded by her beauty.
I agree. Parents are generally very blue pilled until it comes time for judgement day. Then all of a sudden they, especially a mother, can give you a fairly reliable yay or nay
I have a few good mates I would trust with a million dollars, but I wouldn't trust any of them to tell me the truth about a woman I was considering marrying.
They are just too blue pilled and all they want for me is to "wife up" and be "normal" so they can put and end to me enjoying my "loose cannon" lifestyle.
You have to take a long time and test your woman, and only rely on yourself. Afterall, non one else (you can talk to) has seen her so intimately, they only see her game face.
They are just too blue pilled and all they want for me is to "wife up" and be "normal" so they can put and end to me enjoying my "loose cannon" lifestyle.
You have to take a long time and test your woman, and only rely on yourself. Afterall, non one else (you can talk to) has seen her so intimately, they only see her game face.
Quote: (03-26-2019 04:26 PM)Fuck This Wrote:
Who in your life would you trust...
Trust no one unless battle tested. Most people will sell you out for money, girls, fame, whatever.
Quote: (03-26-2019 04:26 PM)Fuck This Wrote:
...to talk you out of the woman you thought was "The One"?
Gut feeling. For that, listen only to your gut feeling.
If something feels off about her, it probably is.
Quote: (03-26-2019 06:02 PM)456 Wrote:
A close, long-term guy friend who I respect as a Man, and who I've had respectful disagreements, and later reconciliations with in the past -- showing their range and loyalty even during bad times. Ones who I've had to count on before and could count on me.
This is good advice
“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
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