[flaghunter]

Is it normal to think sexually about every attractive girl you see?

My LTR knows my past of high notches and flags, and says she wants me to go to therapy because I'm still addicted to sex.
My worries are;

- Am I a sex addict? I haven't cheated but do think sexually about attractive girls and have compulsively slept around before.
- Will therapy have any negative impact on me? I don't want to be "brainwashed" into being asexual for example.

Advice much appreciated from anyone has experience with sex addiction therapy .

[Investment Bro]

(02-07-2019 04:02 PM)flaghunter Wrote:  

Is it normal to think sexually about every attractive girl you see?

My LTR knows my past of high notches and flags, and says she wants me to go to therapy because I'm still addicted to sex.
My worries are;

- Am I a sex addict? I haven't cheated but do think sexually about attractive girls and have compulsively slept around before.
- Will therapy have any negative impact on me? I don't want to be "brainwashed" into being asexual for example.

Advice much appreciated from anyone has experience with sex addiction therapy .

Sounds like your girlfriend has some security issues she should see a therapist about.

There is nothing wrong with thinking about attractive women in a sexual way.

It is natural. It is what we were designed to do biologically.

Anyone who says otherwise is pushing a revisionist (read: controlling) narrative for their own gain.

True sex addiction is a compulsive desire that causes you to ruin your life for the pursuit of sex. If you're asking about that here, I can say with a high degree of certainty that you do not have a sex addiction and are just a normal man who likes hot women like the rest of us.

[RatInTheWoods]

Read this thread

[scotian]

Sounds like she needs to be giving less life advice and giving more head.

[kaotic]

This is another reason the less a girl knows about your sexual past/notch count the better.

She's projecting dude.

[MichaelWitcoff]

I think it would be a mistake to dismiss the possibility, and sex addiction in the PUA world is a very real phenomenon despite rationalizations to the contrary. That said, even if you are addicted I would avoid secular "therapy" completely because it's going to be some feminist shaming you instead of doing any genuine healing.

If you are able to desire sex without acting on it, then you are probably not actually addicted. If you have to release the tension at any cost, every time you feel the pull of that particular passion, then it's probably something worth considering. There is no freedom from the passions without a growth in spirituality, and this is largely what secular "therapy" is missing. Being addicted to anything is bad because it is giving up your freedom and control to something keeping you enslaved.

[John Dodds]

Dump her, move on.
She will only get more critical of you.

[asdfk]

Probably not the right forum to ask this question mate :-)

Don't go to therapy. Therapy is usually some unproven method of treating a perceived flaw that may or may not be problematic. In this case, your girl thinks your interest in other chicks is a flaw. Regardless if you act on it (which would be considered a flaw if you are in an LTR), therapy intends to change who you are and there are just no proven ways to accomplish that.

So you'll go into a "treatment" with a very high chance of failure. Imagine what kind of person the therapist must be if he is able to do his job for a while. Either he is delusional or he is acutely aware that that shit is placebo, and he is there on a power trip. Is that a person you want to help you fix your personal flaws?

On the other hand, if you have a problem with actual addictive behaviors (such as cheating), this is something there are evidence-based treatments for. You could seek treatment, but since you do not seem to have such problematic behaviors, a better strategy would be to examine while your girl is criticizing you.

If I may, it sounds like your girl is relatively strong-minded and jealous of previous conquests. I don't think these traits or expressions will go away even if you attend therapy. You won't solve her nagging because her jealous nature will cause her to always find something you are doing wrong.

This is what I do:
1. Tell her that she is the only woman you want to be with. The past is the past. Look her in the eye strongly and tell her something like "You are my only."
2. Do not respond emotionally to jealousy. This makes it stronger. Try to shut it down if you can by changing the mood. If you can't, calmly listen and ruthlessly question some of the more ridiculous expressions of her emotions.

Example: she catches you looking at an other chicks ass. Don't allow her to spin that two second look into some epic fairy-tale about how you are a sex addict.

When she catches you looking at a girls ass and gives you shit, calmly let her talk. Then ask her questions that inevitably lead to the conclusion she is acting like a jealous cunt. Because looking at a girls ass does not mean you are addicted, want to have sex with that girl, would cheat on that girl with her, etc. It only means you were looking at that girls ass, nothing more.

Also, bear in mind that jealous girls may or may not cheat themselves. This is a very weird contradiction I have noticed in female behavior that I can't explain (yet). If her tone is jealous, if she acts controlling, I'd suggest reading the contents of her phone and/or computer to see if she has any right to judge you.

[the-dream]

(02-08-2019 07:44 AM)asdfk Wrote:  

When she catches you looking at a girls ass and gives you shit, calmly let her talk. Then ask her questions that inevitably lead to the conclusion she is acting like a jealous cunt. Because looking at a girls ass does not mean you are addicted, want to have sex with that girl, would cheat on that girl with her, etc. It only means you were looking at that girls ass, nothing more.

What questions would you ask? What techniques have you used to effectively deal with an irrationally jealous girl?

[Montrose]

You can take the SAST for a preliminary assessment

https://psychology-tools.com/test/sast

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Women want you to go to therapy when:

1). They're young and you want to have sex with them.

2). They're old and you don't want to have sex with them.

I had a bunch of other stuff written, but I think that really says it all.

[Atlanta Man]

(02-07-2019 04:02 PM)flaghunter Wrote:  

Is it normal to think sexually about every attractive girl you see?

My LTR knows my past of high notches and flags, and says she wants me to go to therapy because I'm still addicted to sex.
My worries are;

- Am I a sex addict? I haven't cheated but do think sexually about attractive girls and have compulsively slept around before.
- Will therapy have any negative impact on me? I don't want to be "brainwashed" into being asexual for example.

Advice much appreciated from anyone has experience with sex addiction therapy .

Fuck her, do not do anything-be you. As soon as your LTR dictates anything to you -it is a shit test.