[Snag87]

I used to frequent strip clubs several times per week. Hole-in-the-wall types with exclusively black dancers. Did pretty well; spent about $50-$75 a week and banged about 5.

Don't do it now because due to being busier and lack of black strip clubs in the vicinity. I have little interest in white establishments; they're more expensive and much harder to bang strippers.

[Drazen]

There are a few things going on here. I can relate, I went to strip clubs in my early 20s pretty frequently and didn't spend much money at all (since I went so damned frequently).

I actually went there to "clear my head" since you just stare off into the distance, and can't take out your phone. It was very relaxing to me, it was a place I could go on a random night and just hang out. I usually wouldn't even get a lapdance, I'd just order a drink, and MAYBE go up to the stage and drop a few dollars a few times throughout the night if there was a girl I thought was cute. In summary, I was just bored as hell and had way too much free time and money to spend. I grew out of it, and now just kind of see Strip Clubs as a huge hustle and waste of time/money.

The major thing is that you crave emotional intimacy with a girl, but you don't want to be rejected. You want to be in a place where you can just hang out, see some women, talk to some very briefly, refuse lap dances, and stare at naked girls.

Are you dating much at all? If you aren't, I would get on some app and try to set up some very easy dates that won't cost much with lower tier girls. The girls aren't ones you necessarily need to bang or whatever, just use them as practice for conversations in the real world and improve from there.

[rungoodinc]

If you're getting laid then strip clubs aren't a big deal. But if you aren't getting laid then you are most likely using them as a crutch and it's gonna be a self-perpetuating cycle from there.

[Heuristics]

I'm using them as a crutch for interaction for women, I'm stopping. No desire to continue this phase. Sometimes rejection stings hard. Believe it or not about 50 bucks a week but that's because my friends get my cover. I can see how it's detrimental to my game.

I already daygamed today and am going nightgame later.

Thanks for the help and personal stories.

[wp960]

Suggest a hard reset. Go to a rub and tug place get a BJ or get an escort have sex-
YOU need to get the desperate stink off you.

Then start some online game (paid tinder, etc), join a gym, get a tan, buy a 3 new shirts pair of shoes and 1-2 pairs of jeans. Enough to get you 3 dates in and start banging.

[Obermarschall]

Save the money and try to go somewhere on a good holiday. I feel like you didn't have a good holiday for ages and are caught in some kind of routine. Try to break that routine.

[NonDrifter]

To the OP. Sounds like you need to develop an abundance mindset. Nothing wrong with strip clubs as a fun way to kick back or as a supplement.

It certainly is possible to pull from strip clubs but requires advanced games. Strippers can be easier to pull, but you got to have a baseline of game. Because strippers are used to guys giving them everything, when you go in there and don't validate them you could start setting things up with them outside of the strip club. Not ALL of them, but yes some is possible.

I knew a couple of strippers and yes most of them "got a story" usually kids, etc.

Bottom line is you need to KNOW you can get laid. Check out a guy on youtube called.

Alpha Male Strategies.

He could really help you elevate your game and start helping you to get in an abundance mindset when it comes to women.

[womanapproacher]

(02-03-2019 07:59 AM)Heuristics Wrote:  

Hi guys, I'll cut right to the chase: I frequent strip clubs 2-3 times per week despite the fact that I nightgame a lot (also relevant, I've been on a dry spell for about a year now). I just want to share some of my thoughts and you tell me what you think, or advise for improvement. I know all about the inherent problems of strip clubs, but I've never fucked a stripper (for money), much less spent very much money there on any occasion.

-I had a domineering mother, so I feel naturally attracted to strippers. They control all the interactions, and for some reason I like strippers more than real girls.
-I honestly feel more honesty than with real girls: I know that strippers lie all the time, but I feel like they are more vulnerable than regular girls, they usually talk about their kids, schools, drug addiction, or ambitions to be something greater than a stripper. It's not a great job, and I believe them actually because they're all there for a reason... Its not a path a normal girl would take unless they have some hardship.
-I enjoy talking to them-- Maybe they just say yes all them time, but I enjoy just connecting with them, talking about whatever crosses my mind.
-Strippers are seemingly comfortable with their sexuality: As someone who grew up in a sexually repressed community I actually admire the fact that they can own up to their sexuality. maybe just years of religious programming speaking, but it is fucking hot how strippers know how to work their sexuality
-Strippers own their bodies: As someone who used to be pretty fat, I admire the fact that strippers just own up to they are and work their assets.... It's hot as hell.

Note: I don't know if it's problematic that I like strippers or not, but I feel like they're refreshing, how forward they are.

I am kind of the same but with prostitutes.

I have been approaching for nearly a year, the handful of times I approach a woman who seems to like me, I just can't get myself to follow up.

I can't have sex with somebody I like because to me sex is like a destructive and degrading act for the woman.

I'm 30 this year and I've never been with a woman. I went through all community college, uni, without any female interaction, that was 2007-2012, before I knew about day game approaching.

It really isn't easy to get with women these days, despite what society and some people on here want to make you think.

I'm 6'2 and an incel, if it is so easy to get with women, how does that work?

I really don't like this process of paying prostitutes, but for some reason this is the predicament I have found myself in.

[PixelFree]

Yes, you have a problem.

I can count how many strip clubs I've been to using my hands, and most of those were for just for the obligatory visit as part of a bucks parties (stag nights).

They are a weird unnatural environment, women don't normally approach men in real life.

Good luck in solving it. I'd go cold turkey and use this motivation to game more - or maybe take a full break all together. Also give up porn and daily masturbation as well, once a week is enough.

I know AA and NA have good 12 step programs for managing addiction, I wonder if they could help you.

[Jetset]

It's not a problem that you go to strip clubs. It's a problem that you go to strip clubs to the exclusion of having a real sex life and are confusing this for genuine interactions with women you should "like" or "dislike", or even think about at all.

They're paid entertainers, not your date, and nearly everything coming out of their mouth about their dreams and troubles are sales pitches to make you feel good about slipping them a few bucks.

The broad dressed up as Cinderella at Disney World isn't really a princess, either. She's just some college kid who has to say silly shit to make children happy so she can afford some drugs to share with the other intern slaves tonight. Keep it in perspective.

It doesn't sound plausible that you're doing "a lot of night game" but also on a year-long dry spell and at strip clubs three nights a week. Maybe a productivity system like GTD would help you identify some goals and structure your precious time better so that you realize how much you're wasting on sex workers?

[Heuristics]

For me it is, because I have a compulsive personality. It's been a month since I've been to one. I intend on keeping it that way. I guess I was going to them to soften the ego hit I was taking getting rejected on nightgame. That's what makes the most sense to me. And also was giving me an excuse to not approach. I was dealing with game burnout because I'm one of those people where I get burned out after putting a lot of effort in.

Per my approach log, especially in December and Jan, but also prior to that.. November. I was doing a lot of sets. I put a lot of pressure on myself and really needed to relax a bit at that point after I got going. As a result it's been about two weeks since I went out gaming. From here on forward I'm going to try something more manageable like 15 approaches a week. That, or try to do 10 daygame approaches a week.