Quote: (01-30-2019 08:23 AM)sarcofago Wrote:
Well, I have noticed some changes lately and I would like your opinion. I had a very productive 2018 with 30 notches, about 33% closing rate. I had sex with every woman that came to my flat after a first date. It's not the same anymore. My rate should be 10% at the moment and I reject a lot. What's happening now. I recently had women that came to my flat to smoke a joint or for other reasons, but not for sex. Sex is not happening anymore. I always go for sex on the first date, but in subtle way (unless too drunk.)
Recently, I invited a few dates for a drink to my flat, but that resulted in ghosting. What do you think about it, guys? Is it getting harder and harder? I'm not good at all in second dates in the West -usually never have second dates- and I mostly do online game. I live in the States.
Closing a third of your dates is fairly good.
What I find interesting is that you closed every girl who came to your house, presumably this is a second date. But lately you can't close.
After you acquire certain skills like conversation and escalating, closing is really a matter of logistics and inner game. Inner game is my strength, and I close 80% or better of girls who come to my place. But I'm lazy and I have a few other drawbacks (health), so I usually pass if I can't get them to come to my house.
I would say look inward and ask yourself if something has shaken your confidence? If not, then just plow through it, its a temporary streak. If something is affecting your confidence, then work on that. Make a list of your advantages, things you should be thankful for. If you are creative and patient enough, anything that is a drawback can be interpreted as an advantage. For example, I was just having a beer at a bar and talking to a 25 year old guy. He was fit, but had a bird chest. That's how I was when I was 25. But I'm 50, and 50 lbs overweight. When I was his age, I thought that being slim was a disadvantage. Now I view it as an advantage. Then I thought age was a hindrance, now I see it as an advantage. Its all a matter of perspective. Gain perspective, improve your confidence, and you'll be closing soon.
As for ghosting, I think you mean flaking, yeah that happens. Happens more to me being 50 and overweight. All you can do is throw more irons into the fire. As a young man, you have the advantage of having more patience. Flaking just wears me out physically and emotionally.
I think those are the most important things. You should re-read the Same night lay thread. Always go for the same night lay, if you get a second date that is gravy. It took me a long time to accept that I could pull this off and that this was better than the slow approach. But you got 30 notches in a year. You can do this.
If anything, now is the time to be more aggressive. Make more approaches. Invite them to your flat for a first date drink. Tell THEM to behave themselves.
Let us know what you try and how it works out.
