A short introduction about myself - I'm not new to the art of pick up having read some books and articles but I admittedly have not put the skills to the test enough. I don't sarge and approach ten girls a night like people here recommend and that's mostly because I've always had a girlfriend for the past maybe 10 years. I am 27.
My story revolves around this one girl and I will try to keep it as concise as possible. She is almost 5 years older than me, we've known each other since elementary (10+ years), she was always a player but she was also a good friend to me.
It was maybe 10 years ago that I first began to want this girl after she said to me that she 'felt weird' after hanging out with me for a day and that they were 'good feelings'. For these past 10 years, we've always tried to hook up on and off. Issues being we both have partners (gf/bf) but the real issue is that I had never f-closed and she never committed to it. She said she wants to be with me when she already has a bf so I try to fk and there's major LMR and she will not give it up. One time, she spent maybe 5 days staying with me in my condo, refusing to fk every night but was ok to makeout. She's said that she wanted to have sex with me but was afraid of what our friends would say given her already poor reputation and track record with guys.
She said that she's afraid that if she had sex with me and we ended up together, she would also end up hurting me (by cheating on me because that's what I know she'd do). TBH, I don't even know what I want from this girl as I know she's not the best human being but it is really eating me alive that I have yet to f-close her.
She has broken up two of my relationships in the past by saying that she wants me to breakup with my gf to be with her only for her to reject me once it all starts to become real. I don't completely blame her because I am also at fault for falling for her and the thing is even though I know she is full of shit, there's a part of me that thinks there must be something real in the affectionate actions and words she displays towards me. To be completely honest, I guess I still cannot conclude whether she is totally playing me or half playing me or what the hell is going on in her head.
The most recent encounter and time spent with her spans around a month from last December - January. We met at a small get together with our highschool friends. She had texted me months before that she would be going and asked if I would be too. I had intended to cut her off from my life (for the 8th time or sth) so I didn't reply to her text msg but it was acknowledged. I showed up late and she was there already but had brought her bf. She introduced us, some jokes were cracked. Then while we are all sitting together at the drinks table, while she sees me sitting across the table from her bf, she texts me "do you want to be my boyfriend? I will break up with him." I replied, "OK." She then goes into a frenzy of texts but had to end up going back with her bf anyways because we were out of town, they had a hotel room etc.
Fast forward to the times I see her after this encounter, we meet and it's all very lovey dovey in the beginning. I saw her on a morning train ride (which was the best feeling I've had in 2019, better than sex), lunch dates, dinner dates, and too much texting in between although she always made me feel like she was the one being slow to reply.
Our situation at this point was that we were both in relationships. She said she would break up with her bf to be with me and I told her I was sure I wanted to be with her. She said for weeks that she had been trying to break up with her bf but he refuses to leave her apartment (which sounds fishy already but ok).
She then gets me in trouble by telling my gf's best friend who is her colleague that I go over to see her at her office now and again. She called me immediately after saying she was sorry and that she didn't know this person knew my gf but I also doubt her story and whether or not she intentionally sabotaged my relationship for I'm not sure why.
Skip to that next weekend, I told her to come stay at my place, she said yes but I sensed that she would flake. She did but said that she would come over for just a little while in the evening. She came over, we made out, she felt my fully hard dick pressed against her and said that she couldn't do it because she would feel guilty towards her bf. I'm thinking that's major bullshit considering that she's cheating on him all day when she's texting me saying that she's thinking of me and wants to be with me etc.
Anyways, she said she couldn't fk because she'd feel guilty but she'd be back in the morning after some work thing she had to go. I didn't push the f-close because it was early in the evening, the mood wasn't right, and I thought I'd have another chance the next morning. But by noon the day after, she calls and says she wasn't coming over anymore because she had to sort out some laundry and some other bullshit because Sunday. I felt like she was being disrespectful of my time, saying she'd meet and flake on a regular so I told her and she said it was because she has ties she can't completely cut off yet. So I ended up cutting her off because she didn't show up that morning by saying I don't want to be meeting her and chatting behind my gf's back. I made it pretty obvious that I still like her and she agreed to our agreement of no contact. I had hoped to see some fight from her but I guess the lack of any should make it clear that she never really cared about me.
And this girl always leaves me in a world of confusion. Does she really not give a shit about me, a lifelong friend, that much that she would much rather just turn me into a toy she throws away after short gratification/validation? I feel like we were much better as genuine friends who could talk to each other about anything. She said she wanted more but she won't give it. Now she's posting happy pictures with her bf which is totally confusing because of all the things she told me she hates about him.
Thank you all who took the time to read this messy sad story (if anyone did).
I anticipate that there will be lots of 'go sarge' and go-meet-new-girls feedback, which I do not disagree with. But what I'm here looking for really is advice on how to win the game when the girl is obviously also playing you. This girl I'm talking about has also read The Game, is a cheater, flirts with every average looking guy she meets, but I am obsessed over her and f-closing for psychological closure, if anything.
All my friends say that I should stay as far away from this person as possible because she is always bad news. Both male and female friends tell me the same thing.
But no contact is easy to do and not what I am here for. What I want to know is how does one go about winning over a girl like this? I don't know if she was, but a girl who has every intention to get you to like her but no intentions of being with you. Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person? Or is that impossible and I am just wasting my time overthinking this mess?
This is a case of 10+ years of oneitis, I've had relationships in between and am in one right now, but this crazy bitch has always been in the back of my mind throughout all the years and she comes to the forefront every now and again. I need to do something as it's not healthy for my psyche. I've cut her off for maybe 3 weeks now and still can't stop thinking about her and I'm supposed to be a grown ass man in a relationship.
My story revolves around this one girl and I will try to keep it as concise as possible. She is almost 5 years older than me, we've known each other since elementary (10+ years), she was always a player but she was also a good friend to me.
It was maybe 10 years ago that I first began to want this girl after she said to me that she 'felt weird' after hanging out with me for a day and that they were 'good feelings'. For these past 10 years, we've always tried to hook up on and off. Issues being we both have partners (gf/bf) but the real issue is that I had never f-closed and she never committed to it. She said she wants to be with me when she already has a bf so I try to fk and there's major LMR and she will not give it up. One time, she spent maybe 5 days staying with me in my condo, refusing to fk every night but was ok to makeout. She's said that she wanted to have sex with me but was afraid of what our friends would say given her already poor reputation and track record with guys.
She said that she's afraid that if she had sex with me and we ended up together, she would also end up hurting me (by cheating on me because that's what I know she'd do). TBH, I don't even know what I want from this girl as I know she's not the best human being but it is really eating me alive that I have yet to f-close her.
She has broken up two of my relationships in the past by saying that she wants me to breakup with my gf to be with her only for her to reject me once it all starts to become real. I don't completely blame her because I am also at fault for falling for her and the thing is even though I know she is full of shit, there's a part of me that thinks there must be something real in the affectionate actions and words she displays towards me. To be completely honest, I guess I still cannot conclude whether she is totally playing me or half playing me or what the hell is going on in her head.
The most recent encounter and time spent with her spans around a month from last December - January. We met at a small get together with our highschool friends. She had texted me months before that she would be going and asked if I would be too. I had intended to cut her off from my life (for the 8th time or sth) so I didn't reply to her text msg but it was acknowledged. I showed up late and she was there already but had brought her bf. She introduced us, some jokes were cracked. Then while we are all sitting together at the drinks table, while she sees me sitting across the table from her bf, she texts me "do you want to be my boyfriend? I will break up with him." I replied, "OK." She then goes into a frenzy of texts but had to end up going back with her bf anyways because we were out of town, they had a hotel room etc.
Fast forward to the times I see her after this encounter, we meet and it's all very lovey dovey in the beginning. I saw her on a morning train ride (which was the best feeling I've had in 2019, better than sex), lunch dates, dinner dates, and too much texting in between although she always made me feel like she was the one being slow to reply.
Our situation at this point was that we were both in relationships. She said she would break up with her bf to be with me and I told her I was sure I wanted to be with her. She said for weeks that she had been trying to break up with her bf but he refuses to leave her apartment (which sounds fishy already but ok).
She then gets me in trouble by telling my gf's best friend who is her colleague that I go over to see her at her office now and again. She called me immediately after saying she was sorry and that she didn't know this person knew my gf but I also doubt her story and whether or not she intentionally sabotaged my relationship for I'm not sure why.
Skip to that next weekend, I told her to come stay at my place, she said yes but I sensed that she would flake. She did but said that she would come over for just a little while in the evening. She came over, we made out, she felt my fully hard dick pressed against her and said that she couldn't do it because she would feel guilty towards her bf. I'm thinking that's major bullshit considering that she's cheating on him all day when she's texting me saying that she's thinking of me and wants to be with me etc.
Anyways, she said she couldn't fk because she'd feel guilty but she'd be back in the morning after some work thing she had to go. I didn't push the f-close because it was early in the evening, the mood wasn't right, and I thought I'd have another chance the next morning. But by noon the day after, she calls and says she wasn't coming over anymore because she had to sort out some laundry and some other bullshit because Sunday. I felt like she was being disrespectful of my time, saying she'd meet and flake on a regular so I told her and she said it was because she has ties she can't completely cut off yet. So I ended up cutting her off because she didn't show up that morning by saying I don't want to be meeting her and chatting behind my gf's back. I made it pretty obvious that I still like her and she agreed to our agreement of no contact. I had hoped to see some fight from her but I guess the lack of any should make it clear that she never really cared about me.
And this girl always leaves me in a world of confusion. Does she really not give a shit about me, a lifelong friend, that much that she would much rather just turn me into a toy she throws away after short gratification/validation? I feel like we were much better as genuine friends who could talk to each other about anything. She said she wanted more but she won't give it. Now she's posting happy pictures with her bf which is totally confusing because of all the things she told me she hates about him.
Thank you all who took the time to read this messy sad story (if anyone did).
I anticipate that there will be lots of 'go sarge' and go-meet-new-girls feedback, which I do not disagree with. But what I'm here looking for really is advice on how to win the game when the girl is obviously also playing you. This girl I'm talking about has also read The Game, is a cheater, flirts with every average looking guy she meets, but I am obsessed over her and f-closing for psychological closure, if anything.
All my friends say that I should stay as far away from this person as possible because she is always bad news. Both male and female friends tell me the same thing.
But no contact is easy to do and not what I am here for. What I want to know is how does one go about winning over a girl like this? I don't know if she was, but a girl who has every intention to get you to like her but no intentions of being with you. Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person? Or is that impossible and I am just wasting my time overthinking this mess?
This is a case of 10+ years of oneitis, I've had relationships in between and am in one right now, but this crazy bitch has always been in the back of my mind throughout all the years and she comes to the forefront every now and again. I need to do something as it's not healthy for my psyche. I've cut her off for maybe 3 weeks now and still can't stop thinking about her and I'm supposed to be a grown ass man in a relationship.
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