[dtpilgrim]

I've done well with cold approach, but I've never been able to really win hard at social circle game. I wouldn't even know exactly how to call it, but I'm looking for something like a... social circle mentor; someone who can advise you on practical questions on how to manage your reputation when you're in a fixed social arena with people you will continually see over and over again. I have no idea how you would find someone like that or how you would even call such a role or such a type of expert? Which is strange to me, because basically I'm looking for a political advisor / reputation manager, just for a smaller scale with less stakes.

Anyone else thinking about the same thing here?

[Dalaran1991]

I live in Paris where social circle is everything and very often wish i could just pay someone to teach me this stuff but i had to learn it the hard way.

Eventually i realize the very nature of social circle is meant to be exclusive, so you can not buy your way in per se. The only currency accepted is social capital, which you can't just buy or work for. You can take shortcut but its the exception. Most access is restricted based on your class and social standing.

Plus, social circle is very very situational and varies enormously. An aikido social circle has nothing in common with a salsa one for ex. Being good at one doesn't transfer to being good with others. Plus the alphas in a social circle tend to be watchful of their "courts" and dont want to share.

My only advice i can give is try making good friends with charismatic guys in a social circle and shadow him. He would need to trust you though.

[Black Caesar]

If you can cold approach you can do social circle easy enough.

Just friend zone all the chicks you cold approach for a week or two (like cop digits and flirt and whatever but dont escalate

Then go out with them to things and meet their friends.

Do this with a few different groups a few times then eventually you merge the groups (assuming you think they will mesh) and then boom youre a social connector.

As far as mentor just post reports here and people will help you.

[a beer is enough]

It is weird that some people do not even read the post before trying to help, not helping the OP at all. Assuming you are actually in that situation right now where you are seeing the same people over and over again due to an activity or through work, here are some sources I recommend you look into:

1. Charisma on Command.

2. A lot of works by Robert Greene, particularly the latest one called Laws of Human Nature. Books like 48 Laws of Power and 33 Strategies of War are must-reads when dealing with other men taking aim at trying to ruin you.

[Distant Light]

Look through my old posts, lived it prior to 3 years of monogashit...

Typical cold approach mindset is a fast track AWAY from living a lifestyle BUT cold approach as a tool is mindblowing. Stayed in prague, 1st 2-3 days it was as if I lived there for months.

It's a life long transformation where life can be enjoyed socially/sexually everywhere

[Nick98]

(01-26-2019 06:53 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

Look through my old posts, lived it prior to 3 years of monogashit...

Typical cold approach mindset is a fast track AWAY from living a lifestyle BUT cold approach as a tool is mindblowing. Stayed in prague, 1st 2-3 days it was as if I lived there for months.

It's a life long transformation where life can be enjoyed socially/sexually everywhere

Could you share links to your specific posts on that ?

[The Beast1]

(01-23-2019 05:23 PM)dtpilgrim Wrote:  

I've done well with cold approach, but I've never been able to really win hard at social circle game. I wouldn't even know exactly how to call it, but I'm looking for something like a... social circle mentor; someone who can advise you on practical questions on how to manage your reputation when you're in a fixed social arena with people you will continually see over and over again. I have no idea how you would find someone like that or how you would even call such a role or such a type of expert? Which is strange to me, because basically I'm looking for a political advisor / reputation manager, just for a smaller scale with less stakes.

Anyone else thinking about the same thing here?

You don't need a mentor at all.

Black Ceaser's post is the best advice out of everyone on this thread. If you're able to bed women, then just dial it back. Friendzone them, be flirty and fun, but absolutely under NO circumstances sleep with them.

Sex poisons your reputation and immediately changes the dynamic. Friend groups that sleep around with each other are dysfunctional.

When you're with guys, just have fun with them. If someone is trying to AMOG or some crap like that, just laugh it off. You're there to have fun. Rib the guy back and tease him. That's how friends are made.

Don't waste your time reading books, especially the 48 Laws of Power. This isn't the board room or geopolitics.

Really in short, stable, successful, and normal people:
1. Have a place of their own.
2. Wear nice clothes
3. Have stable jobs
4. Maintain respectful boundaries.
5. Are fun and friendly to be around.
6. Lightly dominate others through fun.
7. Be discrete with secrets and dalliances.

Look at Jeff Bezos as an example of someone who completely ruined his social capital. He may have money, but he has no one's respect.

Remember, appearances are everything.

[a beer is enough]

Remember kids, its really fucking easy to be that popular small scale Dan Bilzerian, so fucking easy kids. Just friend zone those lasses and you're on your way. Its as easy as 1, 2 and fucking 3 kids. Take it from me! Ignore any book that teaches social dynamics as well as any channels that do, its as easy as ribbing other dudes and friendzoning women.

/s

But honestly OP, for your own well-being, follow Distant Light religiously. Distant Light has the best content on this board when it comes to social circle game and has walked the walked.

It is no doubt a long process for guys who were not one of the cool kids growing up and instead went the lone wolf approach machine route. I have found a lot of this does come down to your circumstances in your most social years and the people you run into.

[The Beast1]

(01-26-2019 10:22 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

Remember kids, its really fucking easy to be that popular small scale Dan Bilzerian, so fucking easy kids. Just friend zone those lasses and you're on your way. Its as easy as 1, 2 and fucking 3 kids. Take it from me! Ignore any book that teaches social dynamics as well as any channels that do, its as easy as ribbing other dudes and friendzoning women.

/s

But honestly OP, for your own well-being, follow Distant Light religiously. Distant Light has the best content on this board when it comes to social circle game and has walked the walked.

It is no doubt a long process for guys who were not one of the cool kids growing up and instead went the lone wolf approach machine route. I have found a lot of this does come down to your circumstances in your most social years and the people you run into.

You're taking the piss, but I'll take the bait since your mindset comes off as bitter and it poisons your advice.

I was a loner through high school and have vivid memories of people talking hard core shit behind my back.

I ended up having to date girls outside my school because I had such a horrible reputation.

Remember collegeacb.com ? Probably not so let me enlighten you, it was 4chan for anonymous college gossip. The site didn't last past 2010, but I ended up finding some horrific shit mentioned about me on there. Talking like 5 pages of my failed approaches splayed out for everyone to see.

You want to know why I had a crappy reputation in high school and college?

Because I had that same lone wolf attitude that you do. I would cold approach women without shame and had shitty game. You know what happens when you cold approach women in small towns and colleges with under 8k people and come off spergy?

They talk shit and that spreads. People know you before you even say hello. Good luck working with that.

Once I got out of these craptacular places, I changed my mindset. Still got 36 notches over 8 years before marriage so at least have something to show for it.

Any who, Social circle game is less "48 laws of power" and more ," win friends and influence people"

Heck on this forum, there's a thread by Roosh called, "Be More Beta". The point is the same, defer your own needs to the group. Within reason of course. Don't be a push over but don't be a super alpha dick .

People deal with assholes everyday . Really, being nice and respectful works if winning in a social circle is what you want.

Your charisma on demand book is a good start, but the other stuff is overkill and unneccessary. If OP is successfully bedding women from cold approaches, social circle game is easy. It's like learning to swim in 4ft of water after mastering deep sea diving!

OP: what are your real issues that you're trying to overcome?

[Rang off the Pipe]

(01-27-2019 12:11 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Remember collegeacb.com ? Probably not so let me enlighten you, it was 4chan for anonymous college gossip.

Wow. There's a blast from the past. And at that time, social media was not as pervasive in the social fabric of schools as it is now.

[The Beast1]

∆ Facebook was pretty big at the time and was the main place where parties would be posted.

Most people had flip phones still. Although blackberries were the most popular. By 2011 though, Android and iPhones were definitely hitting the scene.

Really, the missed opportunity here was trolling collegeacb. Discovered it way too late to mess with the signal to noise ratio . Damage was done.

Reputation is everything and you need to be careful to avoid having bad approaches poison you for the future. Someone in my post history I talk about this. Cultivating a good reputation takes time and is easy to lose when you spergs out on it with bad game.

[Heuristics]

I've found myself in a lot of social circles, but I'm at a low point so to speak because of work, and an above-average number of approaches when I go out. I have a wing, but we're also good friends. Quality matters more than quantity having passed through all these circles since I got out of secondary school.

In college I found myself in a lot of social circles because of varied interests (clubbing, school clubs, people in my dorm, acquaintances i knew i high school but who went onto colleges in the area who I became friends with, rich kids, artistic kids, etc, etc). Socially I was always occupied that was the amazing thing about college. People said I was very social. I was traveling a lot too, so I got a global social circle, but that's of little use unless you visit or they visit you.

I held down several part time jobs, so then there was a social circle for service industry, among others. That opened a lot of doors and got me into the alternative music scene. Frankly, the social circle I got via service industry that opened others up was fantastic.

Fast forward to traveling a lot past few years, and again working from square one in regards to SC. Made friends in hostels, service staff at restaurants, and so on. Great social circle built especially because it was just all done by introductions done by mutual friends.

I find myself now in a smaller city, and again back at square one. It is very possible I'm just not putting myself out there, but I've been working too much. My interests are really broad, I'm a person who dabbles in a lot of stuff; I just get bored with people too easily. Any advise, caveat, I've built a social circle in the past successfully, I am just wondering about finding a niche in a smaller city--don't have much in common with people here. Told I'm too intense, need to tone it down. Backpacking will do that.

I remember how good facebook used to be (probably hit the tail end of the good times in college) for finding events, parties, concerts, raves etc. In smaller places I get the impression more of these events are the result of word of mouth... Maybe time to start hosting pre-games again like i did in college. Those were fun times.