How to be "normal"?
I am in my thirties. Not a young kid fresh out of school anymore. But in a sense I still am. The way I grew up is entirely unfamiliar to most and I am sure very few can relate. Although I am not an orphan I basically grew up like one and it was not a nice expierence. After becoming an adult I became addicted to drugs and lived life without any social interaction for years.
When it comes to girls I have limited expierence. Mostly bad. None of it can be described as remotely "normal". For one I have never had a girlfriend. At least not for long. My "relations" have always been short and things go wrong the moment girls figure out how fucked up I truly am. My record stands at about 3 weeks.
I only know cold approach pickup
My social skills and understanding of social interaction is poor. And I am trying to say this in a positive way. It is safe to say that I have never had any social contact that can be categorized as "normal".
A lot of this can be attributed to the way I grew up and to the events in my younger years as an adult. Writing down this history can easy take a whole book and I do not fancy myself a writer.
Learning about Game and cold approach pickup gave me a manual of some sort. The problem is that cold approach pickup and Game is far away from anything that resembles the things "normal average people" do. To put it in different words: Normal average people do not cold approach.
It is incredible hard to relate to people, especially when it comes to "normal social interactions". For me, the way to initiate interaction is to use cold approach skills. I walk upto people and "run Game". It is literally the only thing I know.
When I observe people in their "natural habitat" it becomes clear that they do not "run Game". I have no idea what it is people do, but game is not it. When people talk they are not running scripts, are not cold reading, are not eliciting values, or qualifying or disqualifying. They are "just talking".
When other people, for example, invite someone for a drink, it seems like it is just "for fun". An "enjoyable activity". A "normal social activity". Something people "just do". For me however something like this is part of strategy. I do not invite people for drinks for fun or for it being enjoyable. I have a goal and inviting people is part of the strategy to get close to this goal.
I cannot even imagine how to have fun at a bar. To me a bar is a place to meet girls. And I do not enjoy the process. It is all about the goal. The idea of going to a bar to have fun and laugh is entirely alien to me. I just do not "get it".
This is not only the case when I am talking about a bar. It is true for any activity that involves people. I would never join a sporting team for fun. Only reason I can imagine myself joining up is in order to "be more social" which in itself is just a tactic in order to get close to reaching a pre set goal.
I do not want to sound like a total bummer. Sometimes I can enjoy an activity or a social interaction. But this is always on accident and never by design. And most of time it is just result of me trying to manipulate my own emotional state.
It is likely that I am sounding strange right now. Like a weirdo. And that is precisely how I feel about "normal social interaction". It is weird, strange and alien to me. Game and cold approach is the only thing I know. It is what got me outside the door in the first place.
When it comes to girls the difference is even more clear. For me meeting a girl is a battle. I better "run Game" at my best and hope to not make many mistakes or else I won't see her again. Sometimes it can be enjoyable or fun, but most of time it is not. Even sex can be reduced to a "task". It it a battle as well.
When I look at other guys and the ways they interact with girls I see a clear difference. Where I am worrying, strategizing, watching body language, planning my next move, remembering responses to common shit tests, etc. I see others "just having a good time", something I cannot do because I do not understand it.
The worst about this is that I get laid less while doing considerable amount more effort.
Social Circles
Social circles are a puzzle to me. I can not even locate them. Many times I see people in a group and it is clear that they are part of some sort of social circle. They all know eachother. I have nothing that even looks like it. At best I know a bunch of different individuals. But no groups or people who know other people.
I grew up in environments where I automatically got fully functional social circles from day one. Being part of a group was the default and no possibility of not being in one. But once I became an adult and was no longer in these groups I never had anything else. And no idea or expierence with "normal" groupings.
To me social circles are to be "located and infiltrated" and sadly I have been unsuccesful at both. How do I find social circles? How do I get into one? What do normal average people do?
What is value?
A concept within Game and the whole community that is mentioned a lot is "value". It is being said that you have to "bring value" or "give value" or "have value". However nobody seems to be defining what this "value" precisely is. As if everybody naturally understand what is value and what it is not.
Problem is that I have no idea what value is. I understand that money or a skill can be valuable. But outside that my brain hits a blank.
How do you "have", "bring" or "give" value? What is it?
How to not be a loner or lonewolf?
I have always been alone. This can mean many things. It can mean I just feel alone. Or that I only connect with a few people. Or that I am actually alone. There are many variations of being alone or feeling alone and most people be alone at one time or another.
The big question is; how to not be alone? How to not be a loner or lonewolf?
First there is the feeling of being alone. For me a big factor of my loneliness is that I cannot afford to be honest. I cannot tell people too many truths about myself or expose any "deeper" of my feelings.
Inside of me their is so much anger, frustration, distrust, bad expierence, insecurity, lack of self confidence, hate and fear that the moment I open my mouth people be scared away. For example I cannot talk about family or childhood without visible getting angry and shaking from the adrenaline rush. Like a soldier having flashbacks.
My expierence with people in general has been a negative one. For me it has always been difficult to "connect", espeically in any personal way. This again is amplified when it comes to girls. There is nothing to "show" or "give" to a girl besides negatives. Nothing to "connect" about at a personal level. Almost everything I show is fake.
How does one become a more "normal" person?
Last words:
It took me 3 days to construct this post and I am still not happy. As I said earlier; I am a seriously fucked up guy trying to survive on this piece of shit rock called a planet. I feel like an alien from another planet trying to make sense of these strange beings called "humans". I am looking for any useful advice on how to be a little bit more normal and less fucked up.
I am in my thirties. Not a young kid fresh out of school anymore. But in a sense I still am. The way I grew up is entirely unfamiliar to most and I am sure very few can relate. Although I am not an orphan I basically grew up like one and it was not a nice expierence. After becoming an adult I became addicted to drugs and lived life without any social interaction for years.
When it comes to girls I have limited expierence. Mostly bad. None of it can be described as remotely "normal". For one I have never had a girlfriend. At least not for long. My "relations" have always been short and things go wrong the moment girls figure out how fucked up I truly am. My record stands at about 3 weeks.
I only know cold approach pickup
My social skills and understanding of social interaction is poor. And I am trying to say this in a positive way. It is safe to say that I have never had any social contact that can be categorized as "normal".
A lot of this can be attributed to the way I grew up and to the events in my younger years as an adult. Writing down this history can easy take a whole book and I do not fancy myself a writer.
Learning about Game and cold approach pickup gave me a manual of some sort. The problem is that cold approach pickup and Game is far away from anything that resembles the things "normal average people" do. To put it in different words: Normal average people do not cold approach.
It is incredible hard to relate to people, especially when it comes to "normal social interactions". For me, the way to initiate interaction is to use cold approach skills. I walk upto people and "run Game". It is literally the only thing I know.
When I observe people in their "natural habitat" it becomes clear that they do not "run Game". I have no idea what it is people do, but game is not it. When people talk they are not running scripts, are not cold reading, are not eliciting values, or qualifying or disqualifying. They are "just talking".
When other people, for example, invite someone for a drink, it seems like it is just "for fun". An "enjoyable activity". A "normal social activity". Something people "just do". For me however something like this is part of strategy. I do not invite people for drinks for fun or for it being enjoyable. I have a goal and inviting people is part of the strategy to get close to this goal.
I cannot even imagine how to have fun at a bar. To me a bar is a place to meet girls. And I do not enjoy the process. It is all about the goal. The idea of going to a bar to have fun and laugh is entirely alien to me. I just do not "get it".
This is not only the case when I am talking about a bar. It is true for any activity that involves people. I would never join a sporting team for fun. Only reason I can imagine myself joining up is in order to "be more social" which in itself is just a tactic in order to get close to reaching a pre set goal.
I do not want to sound like a total bummer. Sometimes I can enjoy an activity or a social interaction. But this is always on accident and never by design. And most of time it is just result of me trying to manipulate my own emotional state.
It is likely that I am sounding strange right now. Like a weirdo. And that is precisely how I feel about "normal social interaction". It is weird, strange and alien to me. Game and cold approach is the only thing I know. It is what got me outside the door in the first place.
When it comes to girls the difference is even more clear. For me meeting a girl is a battle. I better "run Game" at my best and hope to not make many mistakes or else I won't see her again. Sometimes it can be enjoyable or fun, but most of time it is not. Even sex can be reduced to a "task". It it a battle as well.
When I look at other guys and the ways they interact with girls I see a clear difference. Where I am worrying, strategizing, watching body language, planning my next move, remembering responses to common shit tests, etc. I see others "just having a good time", something I cannot do because I do not understand it.
The worst about this is that I get laid less while doing considerable amount more effort.
Social Circles
Social circles are a puzzle to me. I can not even locate them. Many times I see people in a group and it is clear that they are part of some sort of social circle. They all know eachother. I have nothing that even looks like it. At best I know a bunch of different individuals. But no groups or people who know other people.
I grew up in environments where I automatically got fully functional social circles from day one. Being part of a group was the default and no possibility of not being in one. But once I became an adult and was no longer in these groups I never had anything else. And no idea or expierence with "normal" groupings.
To me social circles are to be "located and infiltrated" and sadly I have been unsuccesful at both. How do I find social circles? How do I get into one? What do normal average people do?
What is value?
A concept within Game and the whole community that is mentioned a lot is "value". It is being said that you have to "bring value" or "give value" or "have value". However nobody seems to be defining what this "value" precisely is. As if everybody naturally understand what is value and what it is not.
Problem is that I have no idea what value is. I understand that money or a skill can be valuable. But outside that my brain hits a blank.
How do you "have", "bring" or "give" value? What is it?
How to not be a loner or lonewolf?
I have always been alone. This can mean many things. It can mean I just feel alone. Or that I only connect with a few people. Or that I am actually alone. There are many variations of being alone or feeling alone and most people be alone at one time or another.
The big question is; how to not be alone? How to not be a loner or lonewolf?
First there is the feeling of being alone. For me a big factor of my loneliness is that I cannot afford to be honest. I cannot tell people too many truths about myself or expose any "deeper" of my feelings.
Inside of me their is so much anger, frustration, distrust, bad expierence, insecurity, lack of self confidence, hate and fear that the moment I open my mouth people be scared away. For example I cannot talk about family or childhood without visible getting angry and shaking from the adrenaline rush. Like a soldier having flashbacks.
My expierence with people in general has been a negative one. For me it has always been difficult to "connect", espeically in any personal way. This again is amplified when it comes to girls. There is nothing to "show" or "give" to a girl besides negatives. Nothing to "connect" about at a personal level. Almost everything I show is fake.
How does one become a more "normal" person?
Last words:
It took me 3 days to construct this post and I am still not happy. As I said earlier; I am a seriously fucked up guy trying to survive on this piece of shit rock called a planet. I feel like an alien from another planet trying to make sense of these strange beings called "humans". I am looking for any useful advice on how to be a little bit more normal and less fucked up.
Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
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