[scheme00]

I have noticed women I’ve dated or slept with have viewed my dread as me being angry, upset or butthurt. For example, this week I talked with two women I used to date and sleep with. Both of them said “You hate me” in our normal conversation. The back story with them is that when they start to misbehave I dread them and stop talking to them. I’ll usially just cut the cord and walk away and date other women. Then a few months will pass and I’ll run into them and say “we should hang out” and they are shocked and think I hate them. What am I doing wrong here?


Another girl I dated for a few months. She was giving me the run around on actually meeting up so when she would text me I would respond but never ask to hang out. Then she stopped texting me. Last night I saw her and she said “you hate me” even though I was being mellow and playful. I didn’t allow her to waste my time and walked away and now she has an opinion that I must have been super butthurt.

[LINUX]

I'm don't think "dread" is right word that you're looking for. Dread is usually associated with fear and in some context reluctance.

I think I know what you're asking though and my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives. I don't think you did anything wrong.

I've cut plenty of women off from my life that did some really silly shit that disgusted me. One girl liked to peak under the door every time I took a shit, another girl told me she didn't eat vegetables because vegetables were for dinosaurs, another girl was convinced the moon landing was filmed in Hollywood. I've met some crazies and annoying women in my time.

[tugofpeace]

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

[RedPillUK]

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

I'm don't think "dread" is right word that you're looking for. Dread is usually associated with fear and in some context reluctance.

I think I know what you're asking though and my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives. I don't think you did anything wrong.

I've cut plenty of women off from my life that did some really silly shit that disgusted me. One girl liked to peak under the door every time I took a shit, another girl told me she didn't eat vegetables because vegetables were for dinosaurs, another girl was convinced the moon landing was filmed in Hollywood. I've met some crazies and annoying women in my time.

The moon landing was fake though. Pretty lame and close minded to cut a girl out of your life for challenging your opinions, maybe she was just annoying about it.

Also in my experience when girls say something like "you hate me" they're just joking around or asking for sympathy and looking to get a reaction out of you, which she did in your case OP. You failed the shit test. Easiest and funniest thing to do is to just agree and amplify in a completely over the top manner.

[LINUX]

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

I think we are talking about different things. I'm not talking about basic salutations.

If someone says hello to you, you should normally reply "hello" back.

My comment is referring to who you allow into your life, sleep with, spend time with, etc.

[Monkey Business]

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

Jesus man. In what version of reality do you imagine this behavior to be "alpha" or masculine, or in any way positive? Being affable in the workplace is an objectively good thing. Being ice cold and distant, especially just for the sake of being "alpha" or whatever you worked it out to be in your mind, is not a positive quality. Have a heart man.

[tugofpeace]

(12-07-2018 10:44 PM)Monkey Business Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

Jesus man. In what version of reality do you imagine this behavior to be "alpha" or masculine, or in any way positive? Being affable in the workplace is an objectively good thing. Being ice cold and distant, especially just for the sake of being "alpha" or whatever you worked it out to be in your mind, is not a positive quality. Have a heart man.

So I didn't word what I wrote correctly - she said hi to me as I was walking towards her with my head down. I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly and didn't think to react, so I just kept on walking. It was an accident, caught me off guard. This lady was probably an 8-9/10 so I didn't think much of it - if she was ugly, I definitely wouldn't have done that.

That being said, I gave this lady plenty of signals that I wouldn't be making a move before she said hi. She pushed and pushed, and it kind of bothered me.

The craziest thing is that she was seeing someone in the same building and I didn't know about it at the time. If I had gotten involved and things ended badly, it would've hurt her, the guy she was seeing, myself, and my company, because I'm a liaison between two firms.

And to clarify - I never thought that what I did was alpha, or masculine. I just don't get involved with people at work. Not worth the risk, if I lose my job my sister drops out of med school, my mom and dad are screwed, I'm screwed, etc.. a relationship at work could easily destroy me.






That being said - in Linuxs' interpretation, how is being controlling of who you let into your life, masculine? I see that as kind of self serving and insecure because you don't see highly enough of yourself to be seen around people of lower value without bringing your own value down. It is smart from the point of view of someone who is trying to get to a higher point in life though.

[Monkey Business]

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

So I didn't word what I wrote correctly - she said hi to me as I was walking towards her with my head down. I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly and didn't think to react, so I just kept on walking. It was an accident, caught me off guard. This lady was probably an 8-9/10 so I didn't think much of it - if she was ugly, I definitely wouldn't have done that.

That being said, I gave this lady plenty of signals that I wouldn't be making a move before she said hi. She pushed and pushed, and it kind of bothered me.

The craziest thing is that she was seeing someone in the same building and I didn't know about it at the time. If I had gotten involved and things ended badly, it would've hurt her, the guy she was seeing, myself, and my company, because I'm a liaison between two firms.

And to clarify - I never thought that what I did was alpha, or masculine. I just don't get involved with people at work. Not worth the risk, if I lose my job my sister drops out of med school, my mom and dad are screwed, I'm screwed, etc.. a relationship at work could easily destroy me.

"If I had gotten involved." ?? Maybe I'm missing some context, but you're describing a scenario where this woman was flirting with you, said hi to you, and then you are jumping ahead in your mind to fucking her, having some messy affair, and blowing up your workplace and your life. It just seems so extreme man. So much so that I wanted to point it out for you. I get the feeling from your posts that you're in your head way too much playing out what might happen if you simply say hi to this woman. I mean, I get it, you're being careful and are aware of what could potentially happen if you get involved with a co-worker, but it sounds paranoid when you describe the outcome of just simply exchanging looks, and saying hi to her. It's not like she confronted you in the bathroom and tried to pull your cock out on your lunch break and forced you into some dramatic decision.

Anyways, I made these posts because I can relate to your line of thinking. I've been there, and was prone to over analyzing and fantasizing about things that never actually happened or the whole would-have should-have could-have of scenarios. But man, it's exhausting! Lighten up and live a little. You'll be better off I promise you if you can control your negative thought patterns. Meditation and reflection is highly recommended.

To be clear, I'm not saying bang your co worker, I'm just suggesting that maybe be open to communicating and getting to know, in this case, an attractive woman. Or don't, it's fine. But you don't HAVE to fuck her because she's an 8. And saying hi to her, and MAYBE flirting a bit, isn't a commitment to fucking her and ruining your job and your life.

This may come off as the antithesis to most views here on this forum, but this woman doesn't only exist to be a sex object. Maybe having a pretty woman to talk with, banter with, or flirt with at work isn't going to end in catastrophe. It doesn't have to be so binary as; hot girl at work, must not fuck her or else ruin job and life, therefore commence ghost and ignore sequence. Maybe get to know her and get introduced into her social circle. Maybe introduce her to yours. Maybe she has a hot friend. Maybe you get to know her and you think she'd be a good match for one of your friends. Maybe run some long game on her, and you guys could hook up down the road when one of you isn't in the same office. So many options man. And I offer them because once I became aware of how many different ways we can "Game" by just being open to talk with and meet new people, it opened my eyes to what the bigger picture can be when learning this skill set. And when I saw your post, it struck me as someone who could maybe use some perspective. So I share mine with you in hopes it finds you well, brother.

TLDR; I totally agree; don't get involved with people at work. I just feel like you're imagination is getting the best of you, and paranoia is kicking in and stopping you from an amicable workplace relationship. It feels like you're saying, "this girl is giving me the fuck me eyes, and she dared to say hi to me and could ruin my whole life by trying to seduce me." Something like that...but the point is; I don't think it's a healthy train of thought. Kind of disturbing to be honest. Perhaps this perspective helps you want to change that. Or not it's all good baby.

Please pardon the interruption in this thread, no hijack intended.

[Repo]

(12-07-2018 11:50 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 10:44 PM)Monkey Business Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

Jesus man. In what version of reality do you imagine this behavior to be "alpha" or masculine, or in any way positive? Being affable in the workplace is an objectively good thing. Being ice cold and distant, especially just for the sake of being "alpha" or whatever you worked it out to be in your mind, is not a positive quality. Have a heart man.

So I didn't word what I wrote correctly - she said hi to me as I was walking towards her with my head down. I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly and didn't think to react, so I just kept on walking. It was an accident, caught me off guard. This lady was probably an 8-9/10 so I didn't think much of it - if she was ugly, I definitely wouldn't have done that.

That being said, I gave this lady plenty of signals that I wouldn't be making a move before she said hi. She pushed and pushed, and it kind of bothered me.

The craziest thing is that she was seeing someone in the same building and I didn't know about it at the time. If I had gotten involved and things ended badly, it would've hurt her, the guy she was seeing, myself, and my company, because I'm a liaison between two firms.

And to clarify - I never thought that what I did was alpha, or masculine. I just don't get involved with people at work. Not worth the risk, if I lose my job my sister drops out of med school, my mom and dad are screwed, I'm screwed, etc.. a relationship at work could easily destroy me.






That being said - in Linuxs' interpretation, how is being controlling of who you let into your life, masculine? I see that as kind of self serving and insecure because you don't see highly enough of yourself to be seen around people of lower value without bringing your own value down. It is smart from the point of view of someone who is trying to get to a higher point in life though.

Gonna cut you off at the beginning, men do not walk with their heads down. Betas might, but not men.

[tugofpeace]

@Monkey Business: I understand your point. Honestly, I still feel bad about it to this day - I didn't intend for what I did to happen. She did nothing wrong, I was just caught off guard and by the time I could process what happened I had just walked off. This was a few years ago so it doesn't matter now, but I still see her maybe once a month in passing.

Apologies to OP for derailing btw.

Quote:

Gonna cut you off at the beginning, men do not walk with their heads down. Betas might, but not men.

So, I left out more details - I had just come out of the restroom, and she was coming towards me. I gave her a friendly smile then looked down because that's generally what I do when I'm thinking about something (I had a meeting coming up or something).

Also, whether your head is up or down doesn't mean you're alpha or beta. I don't think in those two dichotomies generally. Nobody walks around with perfect posture 24/7, and even if they did, it doesn't mean much about their masculinity. I know people fairly unmasculine with ridiculously good posture.

[Repo]

Again, giving someone a smile and then looking down is incredibly weak. I dont think you understand social context if you don't understand why looking down is considered weak. Whether you are intimidated or not, that is the vibe it gives.

[tugofpeace]

(12-08-2018 05:21 PM)Repo Wrote:  

Again, giving someone a smile and then looking down is incredibly weak. I dont think you understand social context if you don't understand why looking down is considered weak. Whether you are intimidated or not, that is the vibe it gives.

This is becoming amusing.

I came out of the restroom looking down, I was deep in thought about something. I looked forward, saw someone coming my way, smiled, then looked back down to resume my thinking. It wasn't a smile of submission, and it wasn't a downward look/head turn of submission either. If your masculinity is destroyed because you looked down after smiling at someone who you've seen before, then you're probably weak to begin with.

I manage a consulting division at a Fortune 100 company and have been complemented on my composure before. I'm not a weak guy, why the hell would a girl like that approach me if I was?

I understand social context very well. If that was the first time I saw her and looked down then sure, I agree that's considered weak. But it wasn't the first time. I had no intention of approaching so why would I purposefully smile and hold eye contact and then walk past her? If it's an issue of looking weak by putting my head down, why would I smile and look past her (as if she doesn't exist) which is lowkey offensive?

[Repo]

Plenty of people with great composure in the business world dont have the best composure when it comes to women. Anyway moving on, another option would have been to simply hold eye contact for a couple seconds with a slight smile or smirk. Kinda off topic now so I'll stop there

[RatInTheWoods]

This thread has drifted off a bit, but the OPs question is a good one, and one I have been struggling with lately.

Training your bitch through dread game, its difficult to maintain the amused mastery vibe when she has been naughty and you have to soft next her for a few days.

It can come across as butthurt, sulky and childish if not framed right.

Ignoring the bad behavior and not punishing it is also beta.

The difficulty of passing them shit tests with the right sprinkle of dread that doesn't appear butthurt is a balancing act.

OP looking for tips, and so am I.

[Mufasa]

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

I'm don't think "dread" is right word that you're looking for. Dread is usually associated with fear and in some context reluctance.

Word.
Dread is more the girl knowing that you don't need her, you knowing it, and she knows that you know it. This knowledge inspires her to "dread" losing you because of your manliness/value/etc so she steps her game up to keep your interest up. Plays off a girls ego--"who are you to say no to me!?!?" also just being an awesome individual.

[eradicator]

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

another girl was convinced the moon landing was filmed in Hollywood.

I think I fucked that chick. Was she Canadian?

OP dread is the wrong word. Instead of ditching them for a few months and calling them later to start up again, you should just stop contacting them. You can't really be the one that got away if you are trying to get back with them after breaking up with them without actually breaking up with them.

When she does something you really can't get over, like she reveals she has a shit fettish, or believes that the lunar landing was filmed in Hollywood and you can't get past it, or she wants to turn you into a cuckhold while you watch other dudes fuck her, or whatnot, just say "hey I really can't get past that, that's just too nuts" and get up leave and not come back.

[LINUX]

(12-07-2018 10:19 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

The moon landing was fake though. Pretty lame and close minded to cut a girl out of your life for challenging your opinions, maybe she was just annoying about it.

Yeah OK, and the earth is flat, tupac was shot by Elivis and voodoo is real.

[PapayaTapper]

(12-07-2018 11:50 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

...

That being said - in Linuxs' interpretation, how is being controlling of who you let into your life, masculine? I see that as kind of self serving and insecure because you don't see highly enough of yourself to be seen around people of lower value without bringing your own value down. It is smart from the point of view of someone who is trying to get to a higher point in life though.

I was going to respond to your question but then decided to just go on with my life

[Dulceácido]

^^wish there was a "double-like" clicky thing for that one. Touché!

[PapayaTapper]

(12-08-2018 05:28 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-08-2018 05:21 PM)Repo Wrote:  

Again, giving someone a smile and then looking down is incredibly weak. I dont think you understand social context if you don't understand why looking down is considered weak. Whether you are intimidated or not, that is the vibe it gives.

This is becoming amusing.

I came out of the restroom looking down, I was deep in thought about something. I looked forward, saw someone coming my way, smiled, then looked back down to resume my thinking. It wasn't a smile of submission, and it wasn't a downward look/head turn of submission either. If your masculinity is destroyed because you looked down after smiling at someone who you've seen before, then you're probably weak to begin with.

I manage a consulting division at a Fortune 100 company and have been complemented on my composure before. I'm not a weak guy, why the hell would a girl like that approach me if I was?

I understand social context very well. If that was the first time I saw her and looked down then sure, I agree that's considered weak. But it wasn't the first time. I had no intention of approaching so why would I purposefully smile and hold eye contact and then walk past her? If it's an issue of looking weak by putting my head down, why would I smile and look past her (as if she doesn't exist) which is lowkey offensive?

The relevant social context really is how your friends and family reacted when you came out as gay. Im sure they all had a "well that explains the 49ers season tickets" but do you still feel totally accepted for who you are as an incel ?

[Vladimir Poontang]

Women have become very unaccustomed to seeing a pissed off man. They don't know what it means. Once upon a time a pissed off man was not something a woman would want to see, as it would spell the prospect of an asswhoopin'. Now, they just interpret and frame it as whatever suits them.

[Dulceácido]

Oh, Vlad... Sometimes you just use all the right words. **swoon**

[LINUX]

(12-07-2018 11:50 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

That being said - in Linuxs' interpretation, how is being controlling of who you let into your life, masculine? I see that as kind of self serving and insecure because you don't see highly enough of yourself to be seen around people of lower value without bringing your own value down. It is smart from the point of view of someone who is trying to get to a higher point in life though.

Bro are you 12 years old.

Did I say anything about not being friends with low value people ? NO!!

I said masculine men control who they let in their lives. And you took that to mean whatever you want.

Jesus , sometimes it’s pointless to try to teach you kids anything.

[Dodgy]

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

...another girl told me she didn't eat vegetables because vegetables were for dinosaurs...

I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but it did. To be honest though, I probably would have kept her around and taken her as my plus 1 for all you can eat Korean BBQ.

[CJ_W]

(12-07-2018 09:41 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:57 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

my opinion is masculine men control who they allow in their lives.

How did you come to this conclusion? I'm genuinely curious.

There was this cougar at work that caught me checking out and she did everything in her power to get me to talk to her. Eventually she said hi (in passing, when I wasn't looking), and I walked past her. She was mad afterwards, I could tell. I didn't talk to her because it would've causes problems at my work place and I couldn't take that risk.

How is that masculine behavior?

?????

You sound like you're the cougar in that situation posting here (women aren't allowed here)

as men don't worry about "Masculine behavior" like its a fish discussing properties of water.

anyway, that is a non issue. You're a man, and you do what needs to be done. End of story.

If you think of "What needs to be done" you're good.

If you think of "this is masculine, this is alpha, this is beta" then you need to go back to "What needs to be done" . . .and DO IT.

so, do what you need to do.

If a girl is acting up, and you dont want her in your life, leave.

if a girl is flirting with you at work and you don't want to catch a case and get fired, stay out of sight out of mind, and focus on work.

However, if you want to fuck up your life, then do the opposite of what I just said, either you'll learn, or end up on the street.

(12-08-2018 06:31 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

This thread has drifted off a bit, but the OPs question is a good one, and one I have been struggling with lately.

Training your bitch through dread game, its difficult to maintain the amused mastery vibe when she has been naughty and you have to soft next her for a few days.

It can come across as butthurt, sulky and childish if not framed right.

Ignoring the bad behavior and not punishing it is also beta.

The difficulty of passing them shit tests with the right sprinkle of dread that doesn't appear butthurt is a balancing act.

OP looking for tips, and so am I.

tip 1: you have to be calm and stoic

tip 2: you have to be consistent in leadership
tip 3: you have to constantly pass shit tests
tip 4: you have to keep your body in shape, lean and muscular, and wear nice clothes
tip 5: you need to have other women on the side so that if a plate breaks, you can just get her replaced
tip 6: you have to be ok with losing her
tip 7: you have to constantly be improving yourself, your status, your money etc etc.

doing all of this provides dread without you doing much of anything. Remember, if she's testing you too much, then you're not doing enough, and in some cases, she's already banging someone who is.