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What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?
#26

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR is just one of those useless make-work jobs they had to invent to justify having more women in the work force. Next time you hear some broad whining about inequality in the work force remember there's some guy doing manual labor in the hot sun making $12 an hour and some chick named Ashley is making $70,000 to sit in an office and push paper around asking applicants "if you were a tree what kind would you be?"
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#27

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Payroll and Benefits are a lot of work.

There is a metric ton of paperwork and other work involved in enrolling employees in an insurance plan. Ditto for getting the company tax documents out on time.
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#28

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

The average HR manager:

She has a degree in literature or language or something completely irrelevant, but then she did a 1 year masters degree in human resources so now she is an 'HR specialist'.

Her title is 'Head of the HR Department' even if she is the only person in that department.

Every single time there is a dispute in the office, she takes an ultra-aggressive position against employees, no sense of calibration whatsoever. You want something completely reasonable? I'm afraid we can't. Management wants to completely fuck you over? Yeah that makes perfect sense.

She sucks up to the company's Directors and detests lower paying positions.

She gossips.

She is the least professionally dressed.

She is using social media more than anyone else on work hours because she doesn't actually work.

He opinion on any subject is guaranteed to be the one generating the most drama.

She is a 'talent acquisition specialist' even though she literally cannot comprehend what the company does or what exactly a new hire will be doing.

She will insist on the most unquantifiable and immeasurable metrics because she doesn't really do anything.
Her advice and opinions are never directly related to the job but always indirectly related:
'Lets focus on team building'
'Lets make everyone feel inclusive in this team'
'the team is not sufficiently trained - why - i see them asking you a lot of questions all the time'
'you are distant from your team members'

but never:

Lets make the following adjustments on the software we use because it will make our work more automated.


For me there was no bigger motivation to start my own business than the HR department in companies I worked for.
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#29

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Any time I have to contact HR regarding a decision about an employee (usually dismissal), I wish I hadn't. They spend ages fluffing the answer up into a full six paragraph bullshit answer they could have told me in 3 sentences. In addition to that, I already know the answer, I just have to go to them to cover my arse should there be any repercussions. They are absolutely there to cover the arses of the upper management rather than help the workers as they want to appear to do.

That they can spend so long drawing out a simple process tells me that they simply do not have enough to do. If you replaced the average HR department with non-soy men the entire department would be made redundant since everything would be finished by 11am Monday morning. However, companies that have to declare gender ratios and want to appear 'diverse' would cripple themselves overnight PR-wise, even if their profits would shoot up as the wage budget would improve immensely. Shit, they could even redistribute that profit into pay rises for the workers. Except they wouldn't of course, as they're just evil corporate bastards.
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#30

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Being judgmental cunts.

Lazily running CVs through presse software so they don't actually have to read them.

HR is a female profession (80%+).

I can't imagine agreeing to work for a company with an HR department.

Horrible.
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#31

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

^ Every big company in the world has a HR dept. You’re saying you would never work for a big company
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#32

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Probably just sit in a circle and play with their pussies. Or something.

You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor.
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#33

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-15-2018 11:34 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

HR is basically a class of people - overwhelmingly women - who are tasked with figuring out how to fire people who it has been decided need to be fired without getting sued.

Quite right. I once remarked to a couple of like-minded friends that HR exists "to get men fired". The guy in the couple corrected me: "They exist to get WHITE men fired".
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#34

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 03:32 PM)Matsufubu Wrote:  

That they can spend so long drawing out a simple process tells me that they simply do not have enough to do.

This is true of most women in the business world, not just HR. The times i've worked for a woman boss i worked 1.5X the hours and got 1/2 as much done...their propensity for meaningless busywork is intriguing.
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#35

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 04:10 AM)the.king Wrote:  

She is a 'talent acquisition specialist' even though she literally cannot comprehend what the company does or what exactly a new hire will be doing.

I've noticed that, when being interviewed by the average HR ditz (male OR female), that if I do an hour or two of research on the company and the industry that I know more than they do. And they've worked there 12 years!

HR is for people who can't hack engineering, sales, or finance. While I detest the basic "HR Chick", men who go into HR disgust me even more. WHAT is wrong with you??
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#36

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

You could ask this question about 75% of all jobs. The answer would be: nothing. In this era of fakeness, even most jobs are fake.

If you ask someone what they do and they can't give an explanation within one sentence, it's because they don't do anything. Theirs is a fake job that doesn't even need to be done, yet they'll likely act as if it's the most important thing anyone has ever done, and that if they didn't go in to work for a week, the very fabric of society would be torn apart. The reality though, is that if they didn't go into work for that week, the worst that would happen is that half a dozen emails about nothing go unanswered. They can catch up on that weeks work by morning smoko on their first day back, then they just go back to paid hibernation. This is the dirty little secret of the workforce. We import hundreds of thousands of immigrants to pretend to work.
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#37

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 05:51 PM)king bast Wrote:  

You could ask this question about 75% of all jobs. The answer would be: nothing. In this era of fakeness, even most jobs are fake.

If you ask someone what they do and they can't give an explanation within one sentence, it's because they don't do anything. Theirs is a fake job that doesn't even need to be done, yet they'll likely act as if it's the most important thing anyone has ever done, and that if they didn't go in to work for a week, the very fabric of society would be torn apart. The reality though, is that if they didn't go into work for that week, the worst that would happen is that half a dozen emails about nothing go unanswered. They can catch up on that weeks work by morning smoko on their first day back, then they just go back to paid hibernation. This is the dirty little secret of the workforce. We import hundreds of thousands of immigrants to pretend to work.

Um...no. There is a lot of waste in corporate america, including nearly every job in HR and "Diversity and Inclusion". But 75% of jobs useless? Not in the companies i've worked. They were all "for profit". If its THAT obvious that a job is useless, its usually gone.

Also, some jobs (including jobs i've held) are VERY complex and cannot be easily explained in one sentence. It makes me wonder what you do for a living.
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#38

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I’ve been working in finance corporate America for a couple of years now, at companies ranging from USD 500M to 50Billion revenue. Here’s some of my experiences.

Company 1

HR was run by a fat old white woman in her 50s. She was very humourless and people were scared of her. She sat on the other side of the building and whenever she was in my side of the office somebody was usually gonna get let go. Her nickname was “the Angel of Death”.

My first manager was a piece of shit and everyone hated him. He joked about beating women in a team meeting and some people reported him to HR. Nothing was done and he got promoted later. He was one of those guys who treated his bosses like gold and treated everyone under him like shit.

I later found another job and in my exit interview the HR lady informed me that I had to pay the company USD 7K because I had left the company less than 2 years after my green card was awarded. The company originally paid all my immigration fees and I signed and agreement stating that I was willing to stay for 2 years after my green card. I asked if her if the company would be willing to reconsider the amount because I also had a student loan to pay back. She said she would get back to me. I never heard from her again.

Company 2

My manager told me in a meeting that she felt that I was doing a good job, but the VP wanted to downgrade my performance so I am ranked below average. I was on the VP’s shit list because he and every other person above me had failed to review a presentation that I had made, and an error was pointed out to him by his boss. The HR lady I dealt with was 6 in her 30’s, about 20lbs overweight. I met her at a company bowling event before this and she seemed reasonably pleasant.

Since I was ranked below average I am put on performance improvement plan - I can tell I’m being fucked over during the whole process. In the middle of this a close family member passes away and I have to return to UK for the funeral. When I come back, they don’t give me a break and continue with the performance improvement plan.

I informed that I will either get demoted or fired. If I get demoted, that’s actually worse because it would mean all my prior experience was meaningless.

I get a doctor’s note and get 30 days off work. I managed to find another job and got the fuck out of there. HR wanted me to come in to do an exit interview and I only agreed to do it over the phone. I told her that I felt that I was being targeted by the VP and she disagreed with me so I thought “Fuck her” and I hung up.

Company 3

I was told by my VP that I was doing good work, and I was paid a full 12 months bonus even though I had only been there for 8 months. I was also told by him in January that I would be promoted by the end of the year. In February I have a new manager – this guy doesn’t like me.
I used to meet monthly with the CFO to discuss financials. My manager excluded me from these meetings because he said there’s not enough chairs in the office. He basically says that I am not good enough to work at my current level – he puts me on a Performance Improvement Plan and the same cunt VP who said he was going to promote me threw me under the bus. He took my manager’s side.

I have to meet weekly, with my manager, my VP and a HR lady. She’s a slim Chinese American 5. My performance improvement plan was for 30 days. After 30 days are up, I get called into a meeting room and I am informed that I will be terminated because I am not good enough to work at my current level. I was told my performance had improved, but that I was not consistent. (This is how they can keep you or fire you. If they want to keep you they will say” You’ve improved and we want to keep you on”. If they want to fire you, they can say you were inconsistent.)

The HR lady gave me a letter explaining healthcare benefits and I exit the building. I received my personal items from my cube in a box a few days later. Some of the items are broken and I fight for and get compensation from the company a couple of hundred dollars.

I am still on good terms with some of colleagues at that company. I find out a year later my manager got fired – apparently he pissed off so many people when he got me fired, that people just stopped talking to him.

Current employer

I get hired at a higher level than my last employer. I now manage 3 straight white males because as we all know, America disadvantages non-white people like myself.

At most of the companies I worked at, there was a recruiting team in addition to HR. Most HR women are fat, or getting fat. At my current employer one of the HR employees is a pale skinned black American woman who would be a 7 if she lost 150lbs. The head of HR is a skinny white lady in her 50s.

We used to have 2 recruiters – one was a hot blonde Albanian who was married to an American. According to rumours, she was let go because she spent USD 70K on recruiting agencies to hire 2 new employees. In a meeting with the CFO, he said what’s the point of the recruiting team if they’re using agencies? The other recruiter was a black male and he moved on to a much bigger employer.

I am currently in the process of getting a guy I manage fired. I didn’t hire him, he’s been with the company for over 6 months and he still doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. He’s so bad I only ask him to do menial tasks. I had a meeting with my manager and 2 HR ladies yesterday – both are white, one is skinny and the other is about 150lbs overweight. They said that they had prepared a file based on my and my manager’s input. We had to give examples of when he did bad work, and how he did no improve, even though we told him how to improve the quality of his output.

So they told me what do when I fire this guy:
  • Book a meeting with the guy in a meeting room near to a building exit in the afternoon. In the invite only mine and his name will appear. When the meeting happens the head of HR will join me in the room.
  • I will be a given a script before the meeting. It’s 3 lines informing him that he will be terminated.
  • I then leave the room and the other HR lady will come in. They will have him escorted out of the building and have his desk cleared.
  • There’s no need for me to explain to him why he was fired. California is an “At will” state which means you can fire somebody at anytime.
HR told me we had to have the file of examples ready in case he tried to sue us.

I would say from my experiences that HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. Also, I have never had any diversity training in the US - I've only had leadership skills, teamwork and technical training, earthquake safety and what to do when there's an active shooter.
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#39

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

About ten years back, a good friend of mine got laid off from his position at a large financial services company. My friend who at the time was in his mid 40s had very impeccable credentials and a solid reputation in the industry had a very difficult time finding a new job. He managed to line up several interviews but nothing panned out. After several months of getting rejections, he decided to consult with an out placement firm for assistance in getting a new job.

This was actually part of his severance package. So he met with this consultant who was a woman in her late 40s and she reviewed his credentials, his work history and she even had him go through some mock interviews. This consultant told my friend that his credentials were good,his interview skills and presentation was good. his dress ware was good. However, she then told him that he needed to tone down his manliness because he was too much of a mans man. She then went on to explain to him that in this day and age, the average moron in HR is a 20 something ditz who has no real life experience and has been subjected to anti male indoctrination in college.

This consultant was dead serious when she told my friend about toning down his alpha manliness because it will get a negative response from the corporate HR women. He eventually got a job, but this is what goes on today with corporate HR women. I try to avoid them as much as possible because they try to involve themselves in operational issues where I work and they have no clue what they’re doing. I use to have to deal with one who was notorious for having excuses for everything and answers for nothing. It was like going through a revolving door and you still ended up in the same place.
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#40

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 06:27 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  

I’ve been working in corporate America for a couple of years now

That was painful to read, buddy. Almost cringeworthy. Another reminder to avoid the corporate world, especially corporate America at all costs. I hate office politics
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#41

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 07:51 PM)Soy Jooce Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 06:27 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  

I’ve been working in corporate America for a couple of years now

That was painful to read, buddy. Almost cringeworthy. Another reminder to avoid the corporate world, especially corporate America at all costs. I hate office politics

It's worse if women are managers. In my department, a female manager will defend a analyst in our department who barks at everyone she doesn't like and will single out women who don't suck up. The people who worked hard don't get much credit while the slackers get praised with everything.
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#42

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 06:16 PM)The Father Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 05:51 PM)king bast Wrote:  

You could ask this question about 75% of all jobs. The answer would be: nothing. In this era of fakeness, even most jobs are fake.

If you ask someone what they do and they can't give an explanation within one sentence, it's because they don't do anything. Theirs is a fake job that doesn't even need to be done, yet they'll likely act as if it's the most important thing anyone has ever done, and that if they didn't go in to work for a week, the very fabric of society would be torn apart. The reality though, is that if they didn't go into work for that week, the worst that would happen is that half a dozen emails about nothing go unanswered. They can catch up on that weeks work by morning smoko on their first day back, then they just go back to paid hibernation. This is the dirty little secret of the workforce. We import hundreds of thousands of immigrants to pretend to work.

Um...no. There is a lot of waste in corporate america, including nearly every job in HR and "Diversity and Inclusion". But 75% of jobs useless? Not in the companies i've worked. They were all "for profit". If its THAT obvious that a job is useless, its usually gone.

Also, some jobs (including jobs i've held) are VERY complex and cannot be easily explained in one sentence. It makes me wonder what you do for a living.

I build the internet. Complex, but still explained in one sentence.
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#43

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

If you think HR is rageworthy then you guys should know a lot of Universities now have a Job Title like "Diversity Director" (which does what exactly?) and they're usually make $100,000 a year at it.
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#44

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-16-2018 12:48 PM)Rotten Wrote:  

Payroll and Benefits are a lot of work.

There is a metric ton of paperwork and other work involved in enrolling employees in an insurance plan. Ditto for getting the company tax documents out on time.
Most companies I have worked for HR outsource this function.
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#45

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

What's worse is a fucking dude that works in the HR department. You hang out with an HR dude do t talk about cheating on your wife or gambling or your meth addiction. Don't say shit. He's a rat.

Aloha!
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#46

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-17-2018 09:39 PM)Kurgan Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 07:51 PM)Soy Jooce Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 06:27 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  

I’ve been working in corporate America for a couple of years now

That was painful to read, buddy. Almost cringeworthy. Another reminder to avoid the corporate world, especially corporate America at all costs. I hate office politics

It's worse if women are managers. In my department, a female manager will defend a analyst in our department who barks at everyone she doesn't like and will single out women who don't suck up. The people who worked hard don't get much credit while the slackers get praised with everything.


Women are okay to professionally network with but actually working them with them is terrible. I have had nothing but horrible experiences working with women in corporate America. I have lost 2 jobs because of women.

Edit: I don't want to bash women too much, as I wrote earlier, women can be helpful in getting a job (professional networking on Linkedin for example). Some guys have a massive ego so it can be a barrier to network with certain men. Of course it depends on the person.

Overall, I would rather have a male manager and co-workers. Occasionally I wouldn't mind professionally networking with women. I enjoy female energy (at times) and being around women in periods (no pun intended).
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#47

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-18-2018 12:41 AM)king bast Wrote:  

I build the internet. Complex, but still explained in one sentence.

Thank you, Mr. Gore. I enjoy the internet and appreciate you doing that.
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#48

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-18-2018 12:49 AM)BaatumMania Wrote:  

Universities now have a Job Title like "Diversity Director" (which does what exactly?)

That's easy: Discriminate against 1) white men, 2) men, 3) white people, in that order. That's because he has too much """privilege""". Why a white man from a poor family has more """privilege""" than Colin Powell's son, who was cherry-picked to head the FCC because of his famous dad, is irrelevant. This is DiversityLand, a strange new world where logic and reason carry no weight!

A white man is always bad/wrong in DiversityLand.

A non-white man is always preferred over a white man, but not over a woman, particularly a non-white woman. That's not even close!

A white woman is preferred over a white male, and usually over a non-white male, but not against a non-white female.

It's a little like poker, isn't it? You know that a straight flush beats four of a kind and that a royal flush beats a straight flush. Well, it's the same with D&I! Gay people are like the "joker" in a deck of cards...they can be a "wild card", depending on the rules of that company's particular game. Sometimes being gay will trump one of the other categories above, sometimes it won't add much, particularly if the gay person involved is a white male. Being older can have some value, since companies are afraid of being sued for age discrimination. So they'll fire a 32 yr old white male before a 62 yr old white male. But just being older doesn't add that much value in itself. It's like a pair of 3's in Poker: Not much to write home about.
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#49

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR is mostly useless. Recruiting is pretty important in the industry I am in due to high turnover, but they are somewhat separate from HR. Still mostly females who don't do much, but they also don't get paid very much.

I would be careful with taking up victim mentality though from 1 or 2 bad experiences, most of the people I have seen terminated were worthless. The diversity people, however, are completely useless and a massive drain on companies. Luckily from what I can tell its mostly lip service at this point, but it seems to get worse every year.
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#50

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

You'll notice if you work for a big company and they are trying to seem diverse on the Board the gender of the board will read as follows :
CEO (male)
CFO (male)
COO (male)
Director IT/Tech (male)
Director HR (female)
Director PR (female)
Head of Diversity (female)
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