Disclaimer: I do not intend to get one, just wanna hear red pilled analysis of how it turns out for them
What is your/friend's experience with arranged marriage?
Some of those gold digger nightmare stories are true....and they STILL have a lower divorce rate than regular American Divorce. When your Lifetime Movie of the Week nightmare scenario is statistically BETTER than what you're getting offered at home, you know the system is broken.
A good story and a bad story.
Good (sort of):
I know an Indian guy who is secretly gay (and is likely to remain so his entire life). He was put in to an arranged marriage with a girl from his parent's area in India. He loves it. His wife is, to put it lightly, frigid. I don't think they have ever held hands. Forget about sex. But, it actually seems to work for them. His family has gotten off of his back, and he has received some benefits, family business-wise. Also, it has been enough years that instead of bothering him about kids, his family is starting to think the wife is barren. So, he gets a sort of "knowing" compassionate pass from everyone - "Poor guy. His wife can't have kids."
Bad:
I think I've shared this before. But, I know a guy who was a devout Muslim. Like, a seriously devout lifelong Muslim - no drinking, no sex, nothing haram. He was brought in to an arranged marriage with a "devout Muslim virgin". He found out, a few years in, that he had actually married a massive slut. This girl was like the lead in Dah Does Dubai. But, as there were family/business concerns involved in the marriage, he can't get out of it. He fell away from Islam, and is now devolving in to being an alcoholic loser. The situation is bullshit for him, but I understand protecting his family business interests. But, the family really dropped the ball on picking the wife. They. Really. Dropped. The. Ball.
Good (sort of):
I know an Indian guy who is secretly gay (and is likely to remain so his entire life). He was put in to an arranged marriage with a girl from his parent's area in India. He loves it. His wife is, to put it lightly, frigid. I don't think they have ever held hands. Forget about sex. But, it actually seems to work for them. His family has gotten off of his back, and he has received some benefits, family business-wise. Also, it has been enough years that instead of bothering him about kids, his family is starting to think the wife is barren. So, he gets a sort of "knowing" compassionate pass from everyone - "Poor guy. His wife can't have kids."
Bad:
I think I've shared this before. But, I know a guy who was a devout Muslim. Like, a seriously devout lifelong Muslim - no drinking, no sex, nothing haram. He was brought in to an arranged marriage with a "devout Muslim virgin". He found out, a few years in, that he had actually married a massive slut. This girl was like the lead in Dah Does Dubai. But, as there were family/business concerns involved in the marriage, he can't get out of it. He fell away from Islam, and is now devolving in to being an alcoholic loser. The situation is bullshit for him, but I understand protecting his family business interests. But, the family really dropped the ball on picking the wife. They. Really. Dropped. The. Ball.
Currently out of office.
Greatest fear in relationships is getting an arranged marriage and finding out she’s a slut.
Reminds me of this story of this Canadian Muslim woman who was arranged to marry an Al-Quaeda operative in the 1990s:
http://www.racehochdorf.com/blog/2017/2/...to-atheism
The Indian custom of arranged marriages don't seem so bad, but it depends on the family - again - when they are Muslim, then a lot goes wrong - cousin marriage, unfitting couples etc.
I think that the divorce rate is lower than among normal marriages and honestly the West should bring arranged marriages back on top of difficult or impossible divorce proceedings (you can separate, but can hardly ever divorce).
If I was of heritage that still practiced it, then I would look into it.
"What you got for me there fam? If it's an 18yo docile but horny cutie, then I am all ears."
http://www.racehochdorf.com/blog/2017/2/...to-atheism
The Indian custom of arranged marriages don't seem so bad, but it depends on the family - again - when they are Muslim, then a lot goes wrong - cousin marriage, unfitting couples etc.
I think that the divorce rate is lower than among normal marriages and honestly the West should bring arranged marriages back on top of difficult or impossible divorce proceedings (you can separate, but can hardly ever divorce).
If I was of heritage that still practiced it, then I would look into it.
"What you got for me there fam? If it's an 18yo docile but horny cutie, then I am all ears."
Quote: (10-19-2018 06:43 AM)Simeon_Strangelight Wrote:
Reminds me of this story of this Canadian Muslim woman who was arranged to marry an Al-Quaeda operative in the 1990s:
http://www.racehochdorf.com/blog/2017/2/...to-atheism
The Indian custom of arranged marriages don't seem so bad, but it depends on the family - again - when they are Muslim, then a lot goes wrong - cousin marriage, unfitting couples etc.
I think that the divorce rate is lower than among normal marriages and honestly the West should bring arranged marriages back on top of difficult or impossible divorce proceedings (you can separate, but can hardly ever divorce).
If I was of heritage that still practiced it, then I would look into it.
"What you got for me there fam? If it's an 18yo docile but horny cutie, then I am all ears."
You wouldn't have to making divorce difficult, just remove the massive state incentives for it. Believe me, more women would start figuring out ways to make it work.
I think there is always downfall of getting into arrange marriage with someone you have no clue about. But that said, i think if you get a chance to get to know the girl in question, and you seem to click, well then thats good. At least you get a wife with non of that western feminism crap.
Its hit or miss. You really need to know the family and the girl. Hell you need to think can you trust your parents judgement as well.
Yes chances of divorce is lower but whats the quality of your marriage. What does she and you bring to the table.
Beware if girl is north of 24 school and career minded, chances are she partyed quite a bit and looking for her safety net.
Trust your gut in those meetings if its too good to be true. Its your life and hapiness overall.
Yes chances of divorce is lower but whats the quality of your marriage. What does she and you bring to the table.
Beware if girl is north of 24 school and career minded, chances are she partyed quite a bit and looking for her safety net.
Trust your gut in those meetings if its too good to be true. Its your life and hapiness overall.
Quote: (10-21-2018 07:13 PM)Newguy101 Wrote:
Its hit or miss. You really need to know the family and the girl. Hell you need to think can you trust your parents judgement as well.
Yes chances of divorce is lower but whats the quality of your marriage. What does she and you bring to the table.
Beware if girl is north of 24 school and career minded, chances are she partyed quite a bit and looking for her safety net.
Trust your gut in those meetings if its too good to be true. Its your life and hapiness overall.
One thing I have seen some older Indian guys I know doing is bringing in a sort of mediating third party - like a male cousin that they trust. They discuss general stuff with their parents and then tell the cousin what their real dealbreakers are (ex: look for slut tells, bad attitude, etc.). The cousin/uncle/etc. sits in with the parents when they are doing whatever kind of preliminary negotiation that they do with the girl's family.
I think it worked or would have worked a lot better a few years ago. But now? You have guys in their mid-twenties with parents who are in their fifties. The parents were arranged to marry in Northern India when they were 15 and 21. Fast forward to now, and they are attempting to negotiate a marriage between their son and a 26-year-old, university graduate, sales and marketing director who lives alone in Mumbai. The parents are thinking "Well, of course she is a virgin good girl. She is a proper Indian woman and she has never been married. We're not Americans." Any younger Indian guy knows that's a load of shit. The parents lack the context or experience to screen properly.
Currently out of office.
Quote: (10-21-2018 08:51 PM)Tiger Man Wrote:
Quote: (10-21-2018 07:13 PM)Newguy101 Wrote:
Its hit or miss. You really need to know the family and the girl. Hell you need to think can you trust your parents judgement as well.
Yes chances of divorce is lower but whats the quality of your marriage. What does she and you bring to the table.
Beware if girl is north of 24 school and career minded, chances are she partyed quite a bit and looking for her safety net.
Trust your gut in those meetings if its too good to be true. Its your life and hapiness overall.
One thing I have seen some older Indian guys I know doing is bringing in a sort of mediating third party - like a male cousin that they trust. They discuss general stuff with their parents and then tell the cousin what their real dealbreakers are (ex: look for slut tells, bad attitude, etc.). The cousin/uncle/etc. sits in with the parents when they are doing whatever kind of preliminary negotiation that they do with the girl's family.
I think it worked or would have worked a lot better a few years ago. But now? You have guys in their mid-twenties with parents who are in their fifties. The parents were arranged to marry in Northern India when they were 15 and 21. Fast forward to now, and they are attempting to negotiate a marriage between their son and a 26-year-old, university graduate, sales and marketing director who lives alone in Mumbai. The parents are thinking "Well, of course she is a virgin good girl. She is a proper Indian woman and she has never been married. We're not Americans." Any younger Indian guy knows that's a load of shit. The parents lack the context or experience to screen properly.
Yea, I'm a 30 year old brown dude and my parents don't push arranged marriage on me. I myself thought about it, but I can't help but think that if it was 5-10 years ago it may be a viable option, but nowadays, with social media, even women overseas are probably massive sluts.
I'd be better off just finding someone here who isn't as much of a slut, at least here (US) most indian women are somewhat educated and there aren't too many alpha indian dudes roaming around so competition isn't that stiff.
My boss was in his early 30s when he got married, and although I think he doesn't have any balls for doing this, he facebook messaged some girl he knew back in the day who was from a poor villiage overseas and brought her to the states. She was educated but I don't think she works now - they have two little boys and generally seem happy. He took her straight to the suburbs and is generally a domineering guy so it worked out for him. Deeply religious, him and his wife are both devout muslims.
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)