[roc_student]

So me and this girl have some mutual friends, and we go to the same school. I'm 26, she's 21. It's our first date, at a cocktail bar.

We sit next to each other on a couch in the bar.

Conversation goes great, lots of laughing, sexual jokes. She asks me where I live, I say a few blocks away, she says "how convenient" with a smile. She walked here, she didn't drive here.

So far so good.

About 30m in, I shift my seating so that my leg is lightly touching hers, she shifts her seating so that it's NOT touching. First red flag.

I do some light arm touching and leg touching during shared moments of laughter. She doesn't reciprocate. Second red flag.

At the 90-minute mark, I suggest we leave the cocktail bar and walk back to my place, she immediately smiles and says yes. Green light.

Back at my place, we talk for a while, I start touching/playing with her hair, she asks why are you doing that (red flag? no girl's ever had a problem with this before), I say because it feels good. I go in for a kiss and she doesn't pull away. She maintains eye contact, smiles, she pulls in for more kissing. Green light.

But her kissing is WEIRD. Little short pecks, with no tongue at all. At first I think it will pass, but it doesn't. She continues her little reserved pecks. Also, her hands are immobile. I'm kissing her neck, nibbling her ear a bit. She's not responding. Only chick to not moan, shudder, or reciprocate to that move. She's sitting there with her arms at her sides, all awkward.

We talk more, kiss more. She's smiling, saying how much she likes me. But continues to be really closed off physically.

I don't escalate more, because I feel she's not ready for that, it could backfire. I explore her with my hands a bit, but get no positive response/reciprocation from her, so I just leave it.

She takes an Uber back, and immediately sends me the classic follow-up text, " I had a nice time tonight "

She was definitely feeling my personality and didn't seem like a sexually conservative girl. I mean, she told a story about her period, Russian Jewish American.

And yet she seems like a massive starfish.

Is it really that simple? She's just a goddamn starfish and always has been?

Or did I fuck up somewhere?

And guys, please, I know this post is about just one girl, but it's a CASE STUDY and I want to learn so I can be better next time, with the next girl. So I really don't need you to give me shit about one-itis, or how I should move on.

Thanks

[Winston Wolfe]

Could she be a virgin or just not have a lot of sexual experience? Maybe she just doesn't know what to do?

[John Dodds]

Back to your place and you haven't pulled her clothes off in the first 15 minutes?
If you miss that 15 minute window, it will never happen.

[The Catalyst]

She seems mildly autistic.

[DigitalNomad]

Sounds inexperienced IMO.. possibly a virgin as well, in which case she would be scared to express herself and lead you on. I'd give it a 2nd date and see how it goes. Maybe off to make her dinner and watch a movie or something.

The 15 minute rule is not a thing, as long as she's having fun and she doesn't have to be home at a certain time, no point in pushing it too hard or you might turn her off.

[godzilla]

(10-07-2018 04:11 PM)roc_student Wrote:  

So me and this girl have some mutual friends, and we go to the same school. I'm 26, she's 21. It's our first date, at a cocktail bar.

We sit next to each other on a couch in the bar.

Conversation goes great, lots of laughing, sexual jokes. She asks me where I live, I say a few blocks away, she says "how convenient" with a smile. She walked here, she didn't drive here.

So far so good.

About 30m in, I shift my seating so that my leg is lightly touching hers, she shifts her seating so that it's NOT touching. First red flag.

I do some light arm touching and leg touching during shared moments of laughter. She doesn't reciprocate. Second red flag.

At the 90-minute mark, I suggest we leave the cocktail bar and walk back to my place, she immediately smiles and says yes. Green light.

Back at my place, we talk for a while, I start touching/playing with her hair, she asks why are you doing that (red flag? no girl's ever had a problem with this before), I say because it feels good. I go in for a kiss and she doesn't pull away. She maintains eye contact, smiles, she pulls in for more kissing. Green light.

But her kissing is WEIRD. Little short pecks, with no tongue at all. At first I think it will pass, but it doesn't. She continues her little reserved pecks. Also, her hands are immobile. I'm kissing her neck, nibbling her ear a bit. She's not responding. Only chick to not moan, shudder, or reciprocate to that move. She's sitting there with her arms at her sides, all awkward.

We talk more, kiss more. She's smiling, saying how much she likes me. But continues to be really closed off physically.

I don't escalate more, because I feel she's not ready for that, it could backfire. I explore her with my hands a bit, but get no positive response/reciprocation from her, so I just leave it.

She takes an Uber back, and immediately sends me the classic follow-up text, " I had a nice time tonight "

She was definitely feeling my personality and didn't seem like a sexually conservative girl. I mean, she told a story about her period, Russian Jewish American.

And yet she seems like a massive starfish.

Is it really that simple? She's just a goddamn starfish and always has been?

Or did I fuck up somewhere?

And guys, please, I know this post is about just one girl, but it's a CASE STUDY and I want to learn so I can be better next time, with the next girl. So I really don't need you to give me shit about one-itis, or how I should move on.

Thanks

Damn, I'm dating too many hoes if I don't have these problems!!!!

Anyways, its highly plausible in today's world that every guy she's has met has not mentioned anything about her kissing no matter how awful it is.

You don't have to tell her it awful, but if you actually like her, then teach her how to kiss you properly. Next time she pecks you, be like "GIVE ME A REAL KISS WOMAN!!!!". Just kidding on the quote but hopefully you get the point.

[RatInTheWoods]

Definitely a starfish trying to get a boyfriend.

Beware catching feels or hanging on for the shithouse sex.

Cut and run for a warmer woman mate.

[roc_student]

Thanks for the feedback so far guys. It certainly does sound like a virgin, or at the very least, super inexperienced.

But what's weird is how frankly she talked about sexual humor, and talked about her period.

Doesn't seem like a sheltered sort of chick in general.

Will give it a 2nd date, out of curiosity more than anything.

If she opens up to my escalations next time, I'll know she's just a slow moving girl.

If she remains no-touch-peck-city, I'll know she's fucked up and will friend her.

[The Catalyst]

(10-08-2018 06:14 PM)roc_student Wrote:  

Thanks for the feedback so far guys. It certainly does sound like a virgin, or at the very least, super inexperienced.

But what's weird is how frankly she talked about sexual humor, and talked about her period.

Doesn't seem like a sheltered sort of chick in general.

If narcissism is low or autism is high she probably feels she has nothing to hide.

[UniversalMen]

(10-07-2018 04:11 PM)roc_student Wrote:  

But her kissing is WEIRD. Little short pecks, with no tongue at all. At first I think it will pass, but it doesn't. She continues her little reserved pecks. Also, her hands are immobile. I'm kissing her neck, nibbling her ear a bit. She's not responding. Only chick to not moan, shudder, or reciprocate to that move. She's sitting there with her arms at her sides, all awkward.

Had a similar situation with a girl I picked up at a pizza restaurant a couple of years ago. When I finally got her into bed, at my place, she started the 'last minute resistance' and it quickly became an uphill battle (of which, I didn't win). She did the same kind of kissing you described. It was really annoying but thinking about what the others mentioned about your situation, it is possible the girl I was with may have been a virgin... Korean, HB 8, and she was pretty sexual. Only became reserved whenever I tried to take her panties off. Made the excuse after several attempts that she was "on her period." I even suggested that I'd use a condom but, unfortunately for me, she didn't want bratwurst on her pizza. Eventually, I got tired of trying and fell asleep. Never could seal the deal on that one. It's so frustrating whenever we run into girls that behave this way. It's like, "Cheesus, we've come this far, why stop?"[/color]

(10-07-2018 04:11 PM)roc_student Wrote:  

Or did I fuck up somewhere?

I don't think you screwed up. Girls will put up the LMR just before sex is likely, and you will run into those girls that put up more LMR than others. You just have to keep trying until she gives in to your sexual advances or STOP if she tells you "NO".

[roc_student]

Update: I think this is just how she is physically. Came right over to my place for date 2 with no resistance. I got further than closed-mouth kissing this time, but again she was immobile with her hands/body, and no sounds at all to show what she likes (seriously the only chick who doesn't moan at my moves). But when I was on top of her on the couch, she said "let's move this to your bed". So she definitely seemed interested in escalating, but she just doesn't seem to have any physical ability to do it herself. I guess she just wants to lie there and take it. Maybe a cultural difference. Whatever it is, it's no fun. I'm very dominant in bed but I like someone who fights back a little bit, so to speak. Necrophilia not my thing.

[kaotic]

By this time I'd of joked with her and said, you sure seem to be acting like a virgin, are you?

Sometimes I even ask straight up, "I gotta be honest and ask, are you a virgin lol?"

That gets their hamster into overdrive, and I'm comfortable and can handle having an open sexual conversation, per, during, and post sex.

This girl definitely needs to guided and taught things, it's painfully clear she has no experience.

Unfortunately some girls just have a low sex drive and if that's how she is physically I'd end things and move on.

[Cavorite]

(10-08-2018 02:39 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

Back to your place and you haven't pulled her clothes off in the first 15 minutes?
If you miss that 15 minute window, it will never happen.

Is this opinion shared by the forum? I take quite a while to establish comfort.

[crispytaco]

(10-29-2018 03:33 PM)Cavorite Wrote:  

(10-08-2018 02:39 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  

Back to your place and you haven't pulled her clothes off in the first 15 minutes?
If you miss that 15 minute window, it will never happen.

Is this opinion shared by the forum? I take quite a while to establish comfort.

No, I don't know where is that coming from.

I had a exact date like that. You cannot expect a magic formula that works with all the girls exactly the same way. Even Roosh mentions in the book when this happens.

Some times they just feel dirty, menstruation, is something like that. Men are different. they just want to bang all the time.