[Bienvenuto]

(09-14-2018 06:14 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-14-2018 04:57 PM)#_# Wrote:  

Although I'm not really comfortable to speak about all this, I'll be honest with ya'all. Chronologically speaking, I've never had a good childhood: problems at home (fighting etc.), bullying both physically and psychologically, being abused because I was fat as a child (think that destroyed my self esteem from the young age), all of this really crippled my sense of self, I never felt true love from anyone (and when someone did, I couldn't accept, thought I did not deserve it), I spent all my life floating around, thinking I didn't really exist. Then I got into college, still chubby, invisible to girls, my anxiety & depression started to overwhelm and I quit. After that I spent some time working on myself, things didn't seem too hopeless then because I had seen some progress. Then both of my parents died in a terrible way, you don't really wanna hear any of that. It took me 6 months just to get over it, PTSD still persists though. Some time later I got a girlfriend, she was amazing, we had a genuinely good relationship, this realtionship kinda saved me, I started to have a positive outlook on life, but one year later she died in a car accident. I don't want to and cannot put into words how much it destroyed me. I hit the absolute bottom and naturally - suicidial thoughts started to join in. I would have taken my life couple of times already if it weren't for people who care for me deeply, I wouldn't want them to suffer the same way I did. Basically, I swore to myself that I would not give up and try to get a better life as long as I'm alive. Getting laid is part of that, but with all of this shit hanging down on my neck it's terribly hard.

I'm only telling this because you asked and I'm thankful that you're interested and want to help me get better. Now, emotional bullshit aside, I really want to get good at this stuff (meaning girls, getting laid n shit.), not because I'm desperate for girls (even though I kinda am, didn't really want to admit it), I want it because I've never had it in my life (not counting a few not-so-great chicks here and there), it would be pretty awesome to be able to get laid like a king. But more than that I want to become a confident individual with a IDGAF attitude, not for girls' sake, I repeat. I read TRP, RooshV and a few other sources, it's all gold but implementing it is VERY FUCKING difficult.

Don't take this post as if I'm crying like a little bitch. I'm not.

Sucks man, BUT:

You're not disfigured, you have a will to improve yourself, and you've found a great community that can absolutely help you get there.

As for your goals, remember that getting laid like a king is pretty damn rare. I think that improving your mental state, your physical state, and your social skills is going to be paramount.

Careful with the IDGAF attitude as it's easy to be over the top with this. You shouldn't care about things that aren't truly important. Failing at picking up any particular girl is not important, what's important is that you improve. Care about what's important instead of about what's not.

OP - It may not be a fashionable thing to say (pity is unfashionable on here and, besides, how can anyone quantify these things?) but it sounds like you have suffered worse than most people around you will have.
I can't prove that but it seems obvious to me.

I'd like to get a sense of where you are in life right now, which is why I ask..

- how long has it been since you lost your parents?
- how long has it been since you lost your girlfriend in a car accident?

It would help to work out what advice might be appropriate here.

[#_#]

(09-15-2018 06:22 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

(09-14-2018 06:14 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-14-2018 04:57 PM)#_# Wrote:  

Although I'm not really comfortable to speak about all this, I'll be honest with ya'all. Chronologically speaking, I've never had a good childhood: problems at home (fighting etc.), bullying both physically and psychologically, being abused because I was fat as a child (think that destroyed my self esteem from the young age), all of this really crippled my sense of self, I never felt true love from anyone (and when someone did, I couldn't accept, thought I did not deserve it), I spent all my life floating around, thinking I didn't really exist. Then I got into college, still chubby, invisible to girls, my anxiety & depression started to overwhelm and I quit. After that I spent some time working on myself, things didn't seem too hopeless then because I had seen some progress. Then both of my parents died in a terrible way, you don't really wanna hear any of that. It took me 6 months just to get over it, PTSD still persists though. Some time later I got a girlfriend, she was amazing, we had a genuinely good relationship, this realtionship kinda saved me, I started to have a positive outlook on life, but one year later she died in a car accident. I don't want to and cannot put into words how much it destroyed me. I hit the absolute bottom and naturally - suicidial thoughts started to join in. I would have taken my life couple of times already if it weren't for people who care for me deeply, I wouldn't want them to suffer the same way I did. Basically, I swore to myself that I would not give up and try to get a better life as long as I'm alive. Getting laid is part of that, but with all of this shit hanging down on my neck it's terribly hard.

I'm only telling this because you asked and I'm thankful that you're interested and want to help me get better. Now, emotional bullshit aside, I really want to get good at this stuff (meaning girls, getting laid n shit.), not because I'm desperate for girls (even though I kinda am, didn't really want to admit it), I want it because I've never had it in my life (not counting a few not-so-great chicks here and there), it would be pretty awesome to be able to get laid like a king. But more than that I want to become a confident individual with a IDGAF attitude, not for girls' sake, I repeat. I read TRP, RooshV and a few other sources, it's all gold but implementing it is VERY FUCKING difficult.

Don't take this post as if I'm crying like a little bitch. I'm not.

Sucks man, BUT:

You're not disfigured, you have a will to improve yourself, and you've found a great community that can absolutely help you get there.

As for your goals, remember that getting laid like a king is pretty damn rare. I think that improving your mental state, your physical state, and your social skills is going to be paramount.

Careful with the IDGAF attitude as it's easy to be over the top with this. You shouldn't care about things that aren't truly important. Failing at picking up any particular girl is not important, what's important is that you improve. Care about what's important instead of about what's not.

OP - It may not be a fashionable thing to say (pity is unfashionable on here and, besides, how can anyone quantify these things?) but it sounds like you have suffered worse than most people around you will have.
I can't prove that but it seems obvious to me.

I'd like to get a sense of where you are in life right now, which is why I ask..

- how long has it been since you lost your parents?
- how long has it been since you lost your girlfriend in a car accident?

It would help to work out what advice might be appropriate here.

2 years since my parents
1 year and a half since my girlfriend

[Bienvenuto]

That's very close.

I remember talking to a smug former friend about my particular blind siding trauma and how it was all over, all in the past .. just frustrated my life wasn't all back together.

He asked 'how long?' .. "2 years" - he said that was very close, my thoughts at the time being were no, no, it wasn't.
But it was.
It's now been 9 years and I'm only just beginning to deal with it.

The things you have been dealing with from a young age will be the things you are dealing with for the rest of your life.
Your ability to deal with them will improve and the much better surroundings in which you deal with it will cheer you up no end.
But the pattern your mental hang ups follow will be the same every time.

As time goes on they will change from a tornado of feelings to a light breeze.

Yeah this girl's a nightmare but with work you will have more and more strength of character, strength of mind - start to see yet-to-be-proven women in their rightful place, and have more to attract them.

First thing is to generate is better girls as options.

[Al O'Peesha]

#_# :

I don't think anybody would think you're behaving like a bitch; after all you've been through, anybody would struggle.

Yet you're not looking for sympathy, but seeking to improve yourself.
And you've come to the right place IMHO. Hats off to you. Sincerely.

(By the way, stay away from this crazy chick!)

Very best wishes and stay strong :thumbsup:

[#_#]

@Al O'Peesha

Thanks buddy, I appreciate it!

I think I got myself a regular side chick. After my last post I went out with my bros to get drunk, I was high and fucked up and was in no mood for chicks. I guess I was giving off a IDGAF vibe, because one pretty little hot number approached me, at first I was kinda surprised, but I gave it a shot anyway. We ended up having a drunk-sex, but she keeps coming back for more. I try to keep it VERY casual, hinting that I have other chicks on my plate, I guess that made her mad, but said she's okay with it as long as we stay cool (LOL!). She's not the model material, but not ugly either, I'd say 7.5/10 and oh, she gets me hard like a motherfucker.

I got one question though - the thing is, I keep it like I'm the boss, I even left one time on purpose, she was getting ready to have sex, I got a call from my buddy, I absolutely could've ditched him, but I said I had to go drinking and she was like wtf?! I guess it made me seem like a super high value male. I ignore every word I would've preferred she didn't say, I say things like "I'm coming over now, get ready" and shit like that all the time. One time she cried, I was kinda pissed at myself for being too much of an asshole, showed ZERO emotion, I thought she'd be done with me but all this shit hooked her up like crazy. I get "wake up, baby" every morning and "I'm gonna suck your dick tomorrow" every night.

I guess it's pretty good, but I don't want her becoming too attached (she certainly seems that way), even though I told her that it's just fucking, she keeps bringing up stuff like "u ever wonder what could be a year from now" shit. I shut her down every single time. How do I keep this "relationship" as it is?