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Do Most Women Want Kinky Sex?
09-13-2018, 10:12 AM
Interested in hearing anecdotal evidence.
I've read numerous studies which reveal that many women have rape fantasies. I've personally come across a few women who have asked me to do some crazyish stuff (tying them up, spitting on them etc.).
I think i'm relatively vanilla in my tastes and desires (apart from breaking standard convention on liking skinny women) so I am curious if my performance in the bedroom may not be fulfilling all womens sexual desires.
I'd harbor a guess that most women have fantasies that they just don't vocalize.
Do you ever ask the women what their fantasies are?
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09-13-2018, 10:30 AM
I do a lot of BDSM and in my experience only about 20% of women have strong kinky fantasies. Best predictor of kinky is Openness To Experience and to a lesser extent Introversion. Also. women get less and less kinky with age.
80% of women are perfectly happy with Vanilla sex, but they will accept and even often enjoy mild things like spanking, pulling hair, handcuffs etc... so it’s worth introducing them in your game for variety. For example I have a Vanilla plate and I give her a BDSM training once in a while to punish her for something or other.
Also note that kinky doesn’t necessary mean masochist. Some kinky women dislike pain and some not-kinky women like pain (the latter is rare though).
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09-13-2018, 11:34 AM
Girls think about sex just like guys do or more than us.
Women have fantasies, ESPECIALLY with the introduction of the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey.
Women rarely vocalize it, so you have to feel a woman out during the numerous times you bang her.
There's a few tiers and guys all have different definitions of bdsm/kinky
I think these are kind of standard levels with grey areas:
Tier 1 "Standard Play":
-Getting their ass slapped so red
-Choking
-Slapping their face
-Cumming on their face (or wherever)
-Anal
-Lingerie
Tier 2 "Early Adventure"
-Using cuffs on a girl
-Bed restraints
-Using a whip
-Using female toys on her that you own
-Harder slapping, possible bruising on the ass (or something similar)
-Threesomes
-Punishment
Tier 3 "The great beyond"
-Using ball gags
-Using leashes
-Latex suits (or restrictive outfits)
-Master/slave (relations)
-Daddy Dom/Little girl (relations)
-Using additional pain techniques (ex nipple clamps)
-Introducing a third (female unicorn) (relations)
-Introduction to more toys and bdsm tools of the trade
Now that that's out of the way.
Montrose is right kinky girls are mixed, some do enjoy light pain, others do not.
Only a few of the girls I've had these sort of relations with like more than the average pain.
Most want the kinky side of being dominated and feeling sexy and some light pain.
Most girls girls sit in Tier 1 with a few features from Tier 2, occasionally you'll find that wild and out girl all about Tier 3.
Slowly introduce and escalate things you'd like to do to her, occasionally voicing it in post sex bliss and see how she reacts.
You can feel out girls for most the stuff in Tier 1, Tier 2 might take some vocalization but mostly during sex, Tier 3 usually requires more trust and more vocalization of the stuff you do together.
It's a mans job to bring a girls inner hoe/bdsm girl out - doesn't matter if she's a fuck buddy or an LTR - she'll thank you for satisfying her deepest desires/needs without having to ask you, instead you showed her a whole new world and she'll come back for more.
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09-13-2018, 11:42 AM
Let’s say you meet a girl who has her own toys and is experienced with tiered 3. Would you ever use her own toys on her? Or toys bought for her by other men?
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09-13-2018, 01:28 PM
I live in a more conservative society than you American guys, but in my experience, most of the girls won't complain (heh) to Kaotic's Tier 1 "standard play", and a decent percent will enjoy it.
I'd say only about 10-20% of girls here would want Tier 2, you would come off as perverse and strange to others; and as of Tier 3, maybe 1% . It's not even about (not) being kinky, it's about Slav mentality. If you asked my average countryman (or countryperson, it's more inclusive) about it, they would say things like "why?", "decadency", "why complicate and use ropes and cuffs, tie my hands with your belt and fuck me". We simply aren't on that level yet.
I've been with more than several girls whom I fucked hard, Tier1/2, but when we talked about extreme things, comments would usually be like "Latex suits? That's just nasty and strange. Ew."
Gee, I know what my older buddies or dad would say - something along the lines of: "if you need vibrators and leashes to make her happy, you're not a real man". Just whisky and doggie style and pound that pussy, man.
Really, I think sex is being dehumanised, it's about people, not about gadgets. There is nothing wrong with brutally fucking a girl, spanking, biting and pulling her hair - you're supposed to do it. However, things like ball gags, daddy/daughter, latex suits are just over the top in my opinion. You know why you're turned on by them? It's because of fucking porn.
I've read some studies about why Westerners are obsessed with kinkier stuff - Tier 3, incest, interracial, threesomes etc. It's because you've been so saturated and overwhelmed with regular porn that your brains are no longer stimulated by it, instead you must find new, taboo stuff because new things excite your brain. If you tell any Slav that you like watching incest porn, he'll ask what the hell is wrong with you...
Hell, if I fucked any Slavic girl and told her to call me daddy, she would also ask what the fuck is wrong with me, because it would also sound very paedo and creepy in my language. No one plays the daddy/girl game here, it just sounds wrong - HOWEVER, girls here play the domination game in other ways, and ask you "is that all you can do, tough guy?", when you start fucking her hard followed by "oh yeah boss", "I'm all yours", etc. Cultural differences, eh.
Additional anecdotal evidence... you know who likes cock the most?
Feminists, leftists and "good" girls.
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09-13-2018, 03:59 PM
I think sex has a visceral aspect (the immediate physical sensations) and more of an emotional aspect (the cuddle hormones). The physical tends to be used to compensate for the lack of the emotional. So I really think of the kinky/gonzo stuff as a symptom of increasingly depersonalized sex in which the partner disappears and only the actions have meaning. I can understand the ritualistic/symbolic aspects but overall it just doesn't appeal to me.
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09-13-2018, 05:15 PM
I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.
Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.
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09-13-2018, 05:46 PM
My dream is to get me some sex slave, the more I approached this goal the more horny I was on a daily basis but I never asked women I banged if they wanted to be my sex slave, that's stupid to even think about it.
The nearest I got to this was when I endorsed a particular demeanor that she was receptive to but vocalizing this is the best way to kill the envy in the woman.
Women need to be deconstructed, rebuilt and then led, not to be asked about some fantasies she think she would like because she saw it on tv or on internet.
And the last thing is never believe those studies, they should never be taken as proof even if "true"...
Tell them too much, they wouldn't understand; tell them what they know, they would yawn.
They have to move up by responding to challenges, not too easy not too hard, until they paused at what they always think is the end of the road for all time instead of a momentary break in an endless upward spiral
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09-13-2018, 06:36 PM
I think women crave dominance universally, and to a less universal extent crave bdsm.
You should look for ways to be dominant, assert your authority. Small things matter. Telling her what to wear for you, where you are taking her, what you want her to do to you, etc. When I meet a woman on a date, I hug her and litterally sweep her off her feet. Its just a few inches, its momentary, but she feels my strength. I then look at her, smile, tell her to turn around, and compliment her on what she wore for me. Women spend an hour getting ready, and its partly for themselves and partly for you. You can claim that she did it all to please you, and then reward her for her efforts. It starts a compliance frame.
But you have to build some trust with most women before you being bdsm. Its going to depend on her prior experiences, her openness to new things, her trust/attraction to you. Perhaps counterintuitively, there is a positive correlation with education and intelligence.
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09-14-2018, 01:31 AM
Thanks guys: that post on tiers is very helpful and makes a lot of sense.
The first tier is more or less what I was referring to. I made it to age 26 without knowing that women prefer more dominating men in the bedroom. I'm 32 now and still haven't ever gone out my way to improve. I just pin them down sometimes or slap their ass because it feels good.
Any more tips on basic domination in the bedroom? Anything you find that drives them wild?
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Do Most Women Want Kinky Sex?
09-14-2018, 01:46 AM
Be physically imposing. Be intellectually dominating. Have a strong will and urge to subjugate.
Like how most people discover game they figure out some tricks, but the key is congruence and lifestyle. The difference from being a magician and a wizard. Houdini and Tesla.
Why do women like these things? Because it's a hormonal/bio/ambitionary indicator of superiority. It subjugates them and shows them their place. Shows them who they are and where they belong in a life of uncertainty and insecurity.
When youre choking a girl, slamming her pussy, telling her to beg for your cum right after spitting in her mouth and slapping her demanding she orgasm she knows her place. She knows at least that moment in time that she belongs to you, her place is as a sperm incubator for you, her insecurities are validated, and her worries are insignificant.
To the uninitiated amongst us that may seem bizarre, misogynistic, or outlandishly kinky. But every piece of evidence relating to our evolution and evolutionary psychology points that direction. The women that didn't crave that died. Along with their children and their blood line. Go ahead and get close to a woman that trusts you beyond shame and rationalization, try secret society game even she will admit it
The vast majority of women crave this shit. Beyond extremely isolated bloodlines and insular societies knowing little war, hardship, or strife which is the driving force of evolution and from which few are exempt.
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Do Most Women Want Kinky Sex?
09-14-2018, 03:26 AM
I think today it's getting more common because women need a bigger dose of masculinity to feel polarity. Romantic sex comes in a high buy in relationship.
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Do Most Women Want Kinky Sex?
09-14-2018, 10:47 AM
I think that probably all women enjoy the show of the force by pulling hair, spanking or choking.
Recently I was with a girl and she said she wants me to be rude to her, so I did thinks as usually (mentioned above) and after that she told me she meaned something more (more rude). She said that if I am doing MMA, I should do it to her. Does she wants me to knock her out, break her arm or dislocate her ankle... or what?
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