I've been hitting up the same bars/clubs for over a year now to the point where girls tell me "your always here!", "Do you live next door or what?", all the bouncers, bartenders etc all recognize me. These clubs are convenient for me and I do pretty good in them so that's why I go back every weekend. However ive started to feel paranoid about always being there, like ppl think I'm a loser or something. Have any of you experienced this? How do you deal with it? Should I just ignore it and keep going or deliberatly go to other clubs and risk not having a good time.
Hitting up the same bars/clubs
You sound very insecure. Deal with what? If you have fun then have fun and eventually you'll be high five'ing bouncers and bartenders. I remember when I was dating shitload of broads always going to the same restaurant for first dates. I used to sit at the same table, around the same time, ordering the same wine, talking more or less the same things each time. Shit got hilarious when from some point I even didn't have to ask bartenders to bring me the wine because they were doing that themselves smiling the minute I sat down. Yes, they are probably aware of you. Yes, they probably talk about you. Maybe they even nicknamed you. So what? Have fun and they'll talk about "this fun guy who again went home with another hot broad". Also, if you go there so often then at this point you should befriend staff. Knowing bartenders and bouncers will also help you. Basically become a celebrity of this place. It'll increase immensely your status and get girls attracted to you.
It depends on your actions within the venue.
If you go to the same spot all the time solo and tip little, avoid making conversation with the bartenders/bouncers, get stupid wasted, and basically just run RSD-style "approach as many girls as possible and in any situation" game, then yes, eventually people will recognize you and it won't be a good look. It's unlikely you'll be blacklisted but bars are a private establishment, so they can do whatever they want. I've seen guys get banned for less.
However, if you go to the same spot dressed to kill, make casual convo with the bartenders/bouncers as appropriate before the place gets packed, and talk with girls more subtly where it doesn't look like you're bouncing from chick to chick, then if anything, you will eventually get some status there. This can only be a good thing.
I have a few places where I'd call myself a "regular", meaning I go there 2-3x/mth. At these places, I can usually skip the line, get drinks served quickly if there's a crowd, and sometimes even get a free drink or round of shots (always tip nicely when this happens). This definitely helps with women, and also makes you feel more comfortable so when you're there solo, you don't really feel like you're alone.
You should consider whether your actions in these spots look closer to the first or the second description, and if it more closely resembles the first, consider taking a break from the venue and reset. If it's the second, then you have nothing to worry about.
If you go to the same spot all the time solo and tip little, avoid making conversation with the bartenders/bouncers, get stupid wasted, and basically just run RSD-style "approach as many girls as possible and in any situation" game, then yes, eventually people will recognize you and it won't be a good look. It's unlikely you'll be blacklisted but bars are a private establishment, so they can do whatever they want. I've seen guys get banned for less.
However, if you go to the same spot dressed to kill, make casual convo with the bartenders/bouncers as appropriate before the place gets packed, and talk with girls more subtly where it doesn't look like you're bouncing from chick to chick, then if anything, you will eventually get some status there. This can only be a good thing.
I have a few places where I'd call myself a "regular", meaning I go there 2-3x/mth. At these places, I can usually skip the line, get drinks served quickly if there's a crowd, and sometimes even get a free drink or round of shots (always tip nicely when this happens). This definitely helps with women, and also makes you feel more comfortable so when you're there solo, you don't really feel like you're alone.
You should consider whether your actions in these spots look closer to the first or the second description, and if it more closely resembles the first, consider taking a break from the venue and reset. If it's the second, then you have nothing to worry about.
Long story short, your frame is fucked up. Your post reeks of insecurity. If you weren't this thread wouldn't exist.
So the girl laughed at you. Who is she the President of the World? Why do you care what some random roastie thinks of you? Like you said the bars are convent and you like them. The problem is in your head
on't feel bad or feel you need to explain where you drink and sarge to anyone(even us).
You call it going to bar too much. I called it"having a spot on lock". Like RDF said that's great situation. Got a few places like that in my town, I don't get carded, I get free drinks/food, etc. All you have to do is tip well, smile, and joke with staff and you'll be golden.
If a girl told me see always see me at the same spot I'd reframe and accuse her of being a creepy stalker and threaten to take our a restraining order on her. (how would she know that you're there all time unless she's there all time also?)
So the girl laughed at you. Who is she the President of the World? Why do you care what some random roastie thinks of you? Like you said the bars are convent and you like them. The problem is in your head
on't feel bad or feel you need to explain where you drink and sarge to anyone(even us). You call it going to bar too much. I called it"having a spot on lock". Like RDF said that's great situation. Got a few places like that in my town, I don't get carded, I get free drinks/food, etc. All you have to do is tip well, smile, and joke with staff and you'll be golden.
If a girl told me see always see me at the same spot I'd reframe and accuse her of being a creepy stalker and threaten to take our a restraining order on her. (how would she know that you're there all time unless she's there all time also?)
Quote: (08-18-2016 12:05 PM)dicknixon72 Wrote:
...and nothing quite surprises me anymore. If I looked out my showroom window and saw a fully-nude woman force-fucking an alligator with a strap-on while snorting xanex on the roof of her rental car with her three children locked inside with the windows rolled up, I wouldn't be entirely amazed.
Take a break and work on your frame.
Be careful with opening up the same set too many times over different weekends, if a women gives you attitude just eat it, dont give attitude back because if she doesn't like it and goes to security they won't care what you have to say. I rotate venues in my small city so I don't go to the same venue more than 3 nights a month.
Going off of the above post, I think a more useful discussion would be about the best ways to change your game up when you're trying to lock a spot down (or if it is even necessary).
For myself, I will typically be a little less direct/aggressive than I would be at the same spot if I was traveling/never planning to go back there again. If its a party-type bar, I won't be afraid to open lots of groups and will be flirty early, but I'll avoid being fully direct or going caveman. If its more of a lounge spot, I'll play it more low key and usually just talk to girls in my vicinity. Hard to get anybody complaining about you when you ask "hey how is your night going?" as compared to more direct openers.
Once you're a regular, you can usually get away with more and staff will give you the benefit of the doubt. I've never burned a venue and I can be pretty direct.
At a club. I'm not sure it matters. Its pretty tricky to "lock down" a big club unless you're spending big stacks or already have relationships with people there. One chick complaining about you shouldn't really impact that.
For myself, I will typically be a little less direct/aggressive than I would be at the same spot if I was traveling/never planning to go back there again. If its a party-type bar, I won't be afraid to open lots of groups and will be flirty early, but I'll avoid being fully direct or going caveman. If its more of a lounge spot, I'll play it more low key and usually just talk to girls in my vicinity. Hard to get anybody complaining about you when you ask "hey how is your night going?" as compared to more direct openers.
Once you're a regular, you can usually get away with more and staff will give you the benefit of the doubt. I've never burned a venue and I can be pretty direct.
At a club. I'm not sure it matters. Its pretty tricky to "lock down" a big club unless you're spending big stacks or already have relationships with people there. One chick complaining about you shouldn't really impact that.
I mean being at the same place all the time especially when rolling solo is going to make you look weird eventually, I dont care if you are "cool" with the staff and got dat dere spot on "lock down" lol, that "lock down" shit might only be in your head and to everyone else your just the weirdo whose always there hitting on chicks. That's what I'm feeling about myself even though I've pulled many times from these clubs. I think any player has to change it up, you CANT be seen at the same spot all the time and still try to be "cool".
^ Ok, fine. Now if you've already made up your mind despite what anybody tells you, then why did you bother starting the thread in the first place?
If you really believe that going to the same spot is a bad thing, then... just go to new spots. Or, if a girl calls you out on it, agree and amplify.
That being said, if you're actually being called out on a regular basis by girls for being a regular, I'm guessing that you're burning spots out (going to them more than once/wk), have a really unique look/style, or are running game too quickly and bouncing from set to set. Perhaps a combination of several of these things.
I have places that I've been going to regularly for several years, and aside from the staff, I can't recall a time when another patron has called me out on it. As for being the guy who is always hitting on chicks, if you're running game correctly in smaller places, unless somebody is watching your every move, it shouldn't even look like you're hitting on anybody.
If you really believe that going to the same spot is a bad thing, then... just go to new spots. Or, if a girl calls you out on it, agree and amplify.
That being said, if you're actually being called out on a regular basis by girls for being a regular, I'm guessing that you're burning spots out (going to them more than once/wk), have a really unique look/style, or are running game too quickly and bouncing from set to set. Perhaps a combination of several of these things.
I have places that I've been going to regularly for several years, and aside from the staff, I can't recall a time when another patron has called me out on it. As for being the guy who is always hitting on chicks, if you're running game correctly in smaller places, unless somebody is watching your every move, it shouldn't even look like you're hitting on anybody.
Why aren't you locking this place down? They should all know you by name. Have at least 1 good story about you and be talking you up to girls. Are you tipping or just being cheap and weird?
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
Quote: (01-19-2019 10:14 PM)Axel99 Wrote:
I mean being at the same place all the time especially when rolling solo is going to make you look weird eventually, I dont care if you are "cool" with the staff and got dat dere spot on "lock down" lol, that "lock down" shit might only be in your head and to everyone else your just the weirdo whose always there hitting on chicks. That's what I'm feeling about myself even though I've pulled many times from these clubs. I think any player has to change it up, you CANT be seen at the same spot all the time and still try to be "cool".
I kind of agree.
One of the great things about being in a big city is knowing that you can go to a random place where there aren't 20-50 people who know you and will want to chew your ear off with bullshit conversations and then spread rumors when they see you leave with a 7, who is the sister of some person that's friends with someone from your industry that'll cause friction at some stage in the future (for example).
This is why guys travel half the time but don't want to admit it. Exhausting local options and getting "known".
If youve been going to the same spot for a year plus but still feel like you are "solo" when there then you are doing something wrong.
You gotta meet the other regulars and staff so that when you step in the spot it is like the owner just arrived and you dap up half the people there.
Any girl that sees all this go down but doesnt know you is gonna be like "who is this guy"
Any girl that is like "youre always here" is obviously always there too. Anyway she was just flirting with you so dont take it too serious.
As long as youre not blowing the spot and messing with their money (basically by being a value-taking herb) then you shouldnt have an issue.
You gotta meet the other regulars and staff so that when you step in the spot it is like the owner just arrived and you dap up half the people there.
Any girl that sees all this go down but doesnt know you is gonna be like "who is this guy"
Any girl that is like "youre always here" is obviously always there too. Anyway she was just flirting with you so dont take it too serious.
As long as youre not blowing the spot and messing with their money (basically by being a value-taking herb) then you shouldnt have an issue.
Quote: (01-19-2019 10:14 PM)Axel99 Wrote:
I mean being at the same place all the time especially when rolling solo is going to make you look weird eventually, I dont care if you are "cool" with the staff and got dat dere spot on "lock down" lol, that "lock down" shit might only be in your head and to everyone else your just the weirdo whose always there hitting on chicks. That's what I'm feeling about myself even though I've pulled many times from these clubs. I think any player has to change it up, you CANT be seen at the same spot all the time and still try to be "cool".
Re: the bolded, perception is reality. So if you think that going to the same club where all the staff know is a DHV, then that's true. If you feel awkward/creepy that you go to the same club weekly, then that's true.
The girl who said you're always there lobbed a light shittest at you and you failed. It fucked up your head so bad you've been thinking about for weeks and asking for people on the rvf to validate you by agreeing with you. Good girl game from her, bad game from you.
You got 2 choices:
1) Keep going to that same place
2) Switch it up and go somewhere else*
but it sounds like you've already made up your mind so I see no real reason for this thread beside you want some validation/social proof for your decision.
*To clarify I'm not against your going to other venues, I just think your motivation for doing so is coming from a place of insecurity and neediness.
Quote: (08-18-2016 12:05 PM)dicknixon72 Wrote:
...and nothing quite surprises me anymore. If I looked out my showroom window and saw a fully-nude woman force-fucking an alligator with a strap-on while snorting xanex on the roof of her rental car with her three children locked inside with the windows rolled up, I wouldn't be entirely amazed.
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)