[Ballr]

I am dating a mini LTR and she's a maid of honor for her GF's wedding.

Tomorrow they have a rehearsal dinner and I cannot entertain the idea of this because it sounds very cuck to do. She's invited me to the wedding but I personally don't want to go because I go to one every other month or so.

Has any of this happen to you guys and how did you deal with it?

- She's going to be drinking socially at the very least due to toasts
- Dancing with groomsman and taking pictures
- Formal meet and greet before the wedding day including dinner

The entire thing is frustrating because I'm on the side-lines watching it happen. Am I tripping out over nothing or would this bother some of you guys too?

[don_quixote]

It's just a wedding brah. What's the big deal?

[Ringo]

I think you're overreacting and being selfish.

Don't feel like going? Cool, but you won't stop her. And if you try it will be even worse. Would you miss being a groomsman at your buddy's wedding because of some chick you're in a "mini LTR" with? Hell no.

Don't trust her to behave? Fine, but recognize you have trust issues with this chick.

Don't want to run the risk of her misbehaving? No worries - just bite the bullet and go, what's the big deal anyways.

You're not on the sidelines watching, you are opting to leave the field.

[Ballr]

(09-07-2018 06:42 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

I think you're overreacting and being selfish.

Don't feel like going? Cool, but you won't stop her. And if you try it will be even worse. Would you miss being a groomsman at your buddy's wedding because of some chick you're in a "mini LTR" with? Hell no.

Don't trust her to behave? Fine, but recognize you have trust issues with this chick.

Don't want to run the risk of her misbehaving? No worries - just bite the bullet and go, what's the big deal anyways.

You're not on the sidelines watching, you are opting to leave the field.

Did you really just compare what you would do as a man vs what what a chick would do? Come on. Redpill thinking is redpill thinking. I don't believe in instructing her not to go. That would be really GMO.

I was looking for the organic thing to do. Are you telling me it wouldn't bother you if some random fuck was to chat up your girl, dance with her, eat together, and take pictures?

Haven't met her parents yet and don't want to do it on a formal night like someone else's wedding.

"Trust issues" is loose cannon shit to say. I mean, I'll never trust a bitch 100% and I'm not sure why you would either. You accept women for what they are and what they are not. If you set-up the environment to catch a bitch she will be gotten. You don't take wifey material to a strip-club do you? Same concept, I don't want to put her in an environment where anything goes. Not at the fear of losing her, but realizing she's entering a tainted situation and that doesn't resonate well with me.

[Jetset]

You have two choices here.

- You can not go and signal that you don't care and will do whatever you want. She might flirt, she might have too much champagne and suck a dick in the coatroom. Depends on the woman and her opinion of you. Banging the maid of honor is a pretty standard achievement for a single guy to try to unlock at a wedding. You might find out, you might not.

- You can go and play it cool, be her arm candy, maybe chat up the other bridesmaids to make a point. If you've already pitched a beta fit with her about this, she'll know you're going because you're insecure and she has you wrapped around her finger. If you go and take it all very seriously, it might send signals about how serious the MLTR is that you did not intend to send.

If she's just some MLTR, who cares either way? Do what you want. Unless you're planning to put a ring on this one, you're just renting her. That she's in your head to this extent makes me think you need to tighten up your game.

[Ringo]

(09-07-2018 11:27 AM)Ballr Wrote:  

Did you really just compare what you would do as a man vs what what a chick would do? Come on. Redpill thinking is redpill thinking. I don't believe in instructing her not to go. That would be really GMO.

I was looking for the organic thing to do. Are you telling me it wouldn't bother you if some random fuck was to chat up your girl, dance with her, eat together, and take pictures?

Haven't met her parents yet and don't want to do it on a formal night like someone else's wedding.

"Trust issues" is loose cannon shit to say. I mean, I'll never trust a bitch 100% and I'm not sure why you would either. You accept women for what they are and what they are not. If you set-up the environment to catch a bitch she will be gotten. You don't take wifey material to a strip-club do you? Same concept, I don't want to put her in an environment where anything goes. Not at the fear of losing her, but realizing she's entering a tainted situation and that doesn't resonate well with me.

Not sure what you mean with the first line.

Would it bother me if a plate is out enjoying herself with another guy? Honestly, nah, whatever. As long as I don't see a future with her, I personally wouldn't worry. Let her get her kicks. Consciously or not, I'm stating: "I care less about her than I am bothered to join her".

If it's a girl that I see potential in, it would bother me. But then I'd simply bite the bullet and go. Seems like this is your case, you just don't want to take the simple solution.

My take is the same as Jetset's above, maybe he worded it better.

[kaotic]

(09-07-2018 11:27 AM)Ballr Wrote:  

Did you really just compare what you would do as a man vs what what a chick would do? Come on. Redpill thinking is redpill thinking. I don't believe in instructing her not to go. That would be really GMO.

I was looking for the organic thing to do. Are you telling me it wouldn't bother you if some random fuck was to chat up your girl, dance with her, eat together, and take pictures?

SHE'S IN THE WEDDING FFS - that's EXACTLY what happens.

If you've got issues about this, don't go to the wedding then.

If you're tripping and getting jealous about this mini LTR, then I hate to say, you're on the losing end of this relationship, and she has the power.

She should be worried about why YOU aren't going to the wedding with her.

She should be begging you to come to the wedding and yapping about how hot her date is (you).

She should be coming back and forth between you and taking pics for the wedding at the reception.

Quote:

Haven't met her parents yet and don't want to do it on a formal night like someone else's wedding.

"Trust issues" is loose cannon shit to say. I mean, I'll never trust a bitch 100% and I'm not sure why you would either. You accept women for what they are and what they are not. If you set-up the environment to catch a bitch she will be gotten. You don't take wifey material to a strip-club do you? Same concept, I don't want to put her in an environment where anything goes. Not at the fear of losing her, but realizing she's entering a tainted situation and that doesn't resonate well with me.

Strip club and a wedding are apples to oranges dude.

You're overdosing on redpill here and making a mountain out of an ant hill.

Personally if I was you, I'd be dressed the fuck up suited to the 9's and making every girl at that wedding eye me.

I'd walk into that wedding smooth as fuck, dressed as fuck, and talking to everyone and having a blast.

I guess that's too difficult to do nowadays.

[Ballr]

(09-07-2018 01:38 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-07-2018 11:27 AM)Ballr Wrote:  

Did you really just compare what you would do as a man vs what what a chick would do? Come on. Redpill thinking is redpill thinking. I don't believe in instructing her not to go. That would be really GMO.

I was looking for the organic thing to do. Are you telling me it wouldn't bother you if some random fuck was to chat up your girl, dance with her, eat together, and take pictures?

SHE'S IN THE WEDDING FFS - that's EXACTLY what happens.

If you've got issues about this, don't go to the wedding then.

If you're tripping and getting jealous about this mini LTR, then I hate to say, you're on the losing end of this relationship, and she has the power.

She should be worried about why YOU aren't going to the wedding with her.

She should be begging you to come to the wedding and yapping about how hot her date is (you).

She should be coming back and forth between you and taking pics for the wedding at the reception.

Quote:

Haven't met her parents yet and don't want to do it on a formal night like someone else's wedding.

"Trust issues" is loose cannon shit to say. I mean, I'll never trust a bitch 100% and I'm not sure why you would either. You accept women for what they are and what they are not. If you set-up the environment to catch a bitch she will be gotten. You don't take wifey material to a strip-club do you? Same concept, I don't want to put her in an environment where anything goes. Not at the fear of losing her, but realizing she's entering a tainted situation and that doesn't resonate well with me.

Strip club and a wedding are apples to oranges dude.

You're overdosing on redpill here and making a mountain out of an ant hill.

Personally if I was you, I'd be dressed the fuck up suited to the 9's and making every girl at that wedding eye me.

I'd walk into that wedding smooth as fuck, dressed as fuck, and talking to everyone and having a blast.

I guess that's too difficult to do nowadays.

She HAS told me to come to the wedding, multiple times. It's me that doesn't want to go and I explained why in a post above this one. I'm not sure how deep into PUA you are, but it's not jealousy I'm experiencing. It's always the guys who game 24/7 that disregard the other side of the game; longevity. Wrong labeling mate. However, you do make valid points.

Would it be stupid to ignore her for 2 days straight? A mini LTR to me is a woman I haven't decided I'm going to fully commit to for the M word, yet. She does have potential which is why I care that she's involved in this. You touch on the money about just going suited and booted though.

[louiebeans]

If your so scared she's gonna suck some dude's dick, why not make sure that dude is you?

Like Kaotic said, look sharp and have some fun. Then when it gets boring go find a place and fuck her.

EDIT: LMAO, did you just ask how deep into game KAOTIC is?!

[kaotic]

(09-07-2018 02:27 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

She HAS told me to come to the wedding, multiple times. It's me that doesn't want to go and I explained why in a post above this one. I'm not sure how deep into PUA you are, but it's not jealousy I'm experiencing. It's always the guys who game 24/7 that disregard the other side of the game; longevity. Wrong labeling mate. However, you do make valid points.

"PUA" is a retarded and watered down term for starters, dudes with snake oil selling to vulnerable men.

You're literally saying you're going to be cucked by going to the dinner and to the wedding. That's a red flag screaming insecurity to me dude.

You're literally saying, well bro, she's going to be toasting, dancing with guys (she wont, she'll be dancing with you), and taking pics with guys. I'm totally gonna get cucked by one of them.

"A groomsmen totally AMOG'ed me by walking my girl whose a bridesmaid down the aisle of the wedding ceremony"

Do you know how silly that sounds?

What does longevity have to do with any of this? What does it have to do with your girl in this scenario?

Quote:

Would it be stupid to ignore her for 2 days straight? A mini LTR to me is a woman I haven't decided I'm going to fully commit to for the M word, yet. She does have potential which is why I care that she's involved in this. You touch on the money about just going suited and booted though.

Why are you even playing waiting dread game on her?

It's you're so concerned about being "cucked" and looking "weak" at this wedding then don't go.

Just tell her you can't make it and you have some important family shit to do.

Well we have different meanings for LTR then, a mini LTR is a girl I''m dating 4-6 months, an LTR is a girl longer than that, I have no thoughts about marrying a girl in only a 2-3 year LTR to begin with.

If a girl has potential and you like her, then I see no problem with you going to this wedding and dare I say it.....having fun.

Instead of over analyzing every little thing as game theory and different scenarios.

[Ballr]

(09-07-2018 02:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-07-2018 02:27 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

She HAS told me to come to the wedding, multiple times. It's me that doesn't want to go and I explained why in a post above this one. I'm not sure how deep into PUA you are, but it's not jealousy I'm experiencing. It's always the guys who game 24/7 that disregard the other side of the game; longevity. Wrong labeling mate. However, you do make valid points.

"PUA" is a retarded term to begin with, it's such a watered down term, dudes with snake oil selling to vulnerable men.

You're literally saying you're going to be cucked by going to the dinner and to the wedding.

You're literally saying, well bro, she's going to be toasting, dancing with guys, and taking pics with guys. Who are in the wedding party, which is a given, you should know that by now since you've been to so many weddings.

Quote:

Would it be stupid to ignore her for 2 days straight? A mini LTR to me is a woman I haven't decided I'm going to fully commit to for the M word, yet. She does have potential which is why I care that she's involved in this. You touch on the money about just going suited and booted though.

Why are you even playing waiting dread game on her?

It's you're so concerned about being "cucked" and looking "weak" at this wedding then don't go.

Just tell her you can't make it and you have some important family shit to do.

Well we have different meanings for LTR then, a mini LTR is a girl I''m dating 4-6 months, an LTR is a girl longer than that, I have no thoughts about marrying a girl in only a 2-3 year LTR to begin with.

If a girl has potential and you like her, then I see no problem with you going to this wedding and dare I say it.....having fun.

Instead of over analyzing every little thing as game theory and different scenarios.

Like I mentioned originally, the only reason why I am attending the wedding is because I have not met her parents yet. They are very cultural and I don't think it would be appropriate for me to sit at their table and act like I'm part of the family already when I have not met them previously.

[kaotic]

(09-07-2018 02:39 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

Like I mentioned originally, the only reason why I am attending the wedding is because I have not met her parents yet. They are very cultural and I don't think it would be appropriate for me to sit at their table and act like I'm part of the family already when I have not met them previously.

Okay so now we got to the actual core of the problem here:

You aren't ready to meet her parents and want to do it on your own terms.

I can understand that.

It's simple, don't go, meet the parents whenever you think it's appropriate.

[Jetset]

(09-07-2018 02:27 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

She HAS told me to come to the wedding, multiple times. It's me that doesn't want to go and I explained why in a post above this one. I'm not sure how deep into PUA you are, but it's not jealousy I'm experiencing. It's always the guys who game 24/7 that disregard the other side of the game; longevity. Wrong labeling mate. However, you do make valid points.

Would it be stupid to ignore her for 2 days straight? A mini LTR to me is a woman I haven't decided I'm going to fully commit to for the M word, yet. She does have potential which is why I care that she's involved in this. You touch on the money about just going suited and booted though.

I just don't get it.

"Involved in this" is what, exactly? A wedding?

She's in a wedding party. This is a normal thing that people do. You're thinking about Soft Nexting her because she's doing something normal and you don't want to go, even though you're not only welcome, but encouraged to go. That's like hitting your dog on the nose with a newspaper for eating food out of his own bowl.

Bitches love weddings. She's the Maid of Honor. I get not wanting to go, but what's your motivation to take that away from her?

This is some weird shit, man. Again, I don't get it.

[louiebeans]

IMO this would be the perfect time to meet the parents.

They may or may not be drinking but still distracted and entertained by other elements of the rehearsal. You get to dress up and make their daughter look good. What do you think they are gonna say when they ask her about why your not there? This is your chance to actually make a good impression on them even if you don't plan on marrying her.

[Laner]

I have gone to every wedding a girl has invited me to. At the very least, its a good meal, people are happy, and there are bartenders.

You do this for the woman because you care about her. Not because of a power dynamic that it shows weakness, or neediness, or because you already hit a wedding this month. You go because weddings are the one place women do not want to be perceived as single, or unwanted.

Bridesmaids will be busy, yes. They will be doing their best to make their bride look and feel the best she has ever felt. There will be tears or joy. And it will not be about you. But when, through misty eyes, she eyes you standing proudly and laughing with one of the other guys that mean so much to her, she will be thankful for you.

[Ballr]

(09-07-2018 02:43 PM)louiebeans Wrote:  

IMO this would be the perfect time to meet the parents.

They may or may not be drinking but still distracted and entertained by other elements of the rehearsal. You get to dress up and make their daughter look good. What do you think they are gonna say when they ask her about why your not there? This is your chance to actually make a good impression on them even if you don't plan on marrying her.

In her culture, you don't meet the parents unless you plan on marrying her. It's not just showing up unfortunately.

[Ballr]

Update

Just found out the guy she's standing up with is actually my first cousin. Talk about an awkward possibility. We just spoke over the phone. I had joked if he's looking for a wife.

Still not with it though, gents.

[Jetset]

(09-07-2018 04:33 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

(09-07-2018 02:43 PM)louiebeans Wrote:  

IMO this would be the perfect time to meet the parents.

They may or may not be drinking but still distracted and entertained by other elements of the rehearsal. You get to dress up and make their daughter look good. What do you think they are gonna say when they ask her about why your not there? This is your chance to actually make a good impression on them even if you don't plan on marrying her.

In her culture, you don't meet the parents unless you plan on marrying her. It's not just showing up unfortunately.

That detail would have been helpful earlier on, but my advice still stands.

Go or don't go. It's a wedding. She's the Maid of Honor and is excited about it. It's a normal thing. If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. This is hardly going to "corrupt" her.

[kaotic]

(09-07-2018 07:27 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

Update

Just found out the guy she's standing up with is actually my first cousin. Talk about an awkward possibility. We just spoke over the phone. I had joked if he's looking for a wife.

Still not with it though, gents.

So what the hell is about then?

Meeting her parents? or getting AMOG'ed by your cousin?

I mean seriously there's some deep seeded insecurities here dude.

I can understand if you don't want to meet her parents in such a formal setting and they're type of parents you meet if you wanna be super serious with her or wife her up.

Yet this still comes back to not being happy she's "standing" with a guy at the wedding.

If you can't handle a girl of yours being in a wedding or event, then it's not about being "cucked" (that's OD redpill BS), it's actually about you own insecurities.

Then you make a joke to your cousin about looking for a wife?

You gotta stop being insecure and worrying dude, it's a wedding.

[Akwesi]

OP: I think this might make a lot more sense if you stated what her culture is as well as your own. Right now I think we are mostly scratching our heads.

[Ballr]

(09-08-2018 12:53 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-07-2018 07:27 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

Update

Just found out the guy she's standing up with is actually my first cousin. Talk about an awkward possibility. We just spoke over the phone. I had joked if he's looking for a wife.

Still not with it though, gents.

So what the hell is about then?

Meeting her parents? or getting AMOG'ed by your cousin?

I mean seriously there's some deep seeded insecurities here dude.

I can understand if you don't want to meet her parents in such a formal setting and they're type of parents you meet if you wanna be super serious with her or wife her up.

Yet this still comes back to not being happy she's "standing" with a guy at the wedding.

If you can't handle a girl of yours being in a wedding or event, then it's not about being "cucked" (that's OD redpill BS), it's actually about you own insecurities.

Then you make a joke to your cousin about looking for a wife?

You gotta stop being insecure and worrying dude, it's a wedding.

Your stance on attending the wedding and having a good time is spot on the best solution outside of dumping her. I'm truthfully considering it just because I've not been able to accept this. She's still on ignore, day 2 (day of wedding).

Wish I had posted here before yesterday. I may have ended up going to the wedding and disregarded the parental situation.

I had to look up what 'AMOG' meant and no that's not who I am. Not impressed, jealous, or envious of no other man. I'm the prize. Thing is, on a personal level we're all different in what we accept and don't accept. For example, you can agree with me that most guys don't like knowing elicit details of the woman's pasts and how many guys she slept with. It's very cringey. This is exactly how I can describe what I consider this to be for letting her go and do this.

She's the maid of honor for her best friend's wedding and all of this shit is common sense and stuff that goes on in every wedding. You're right. Am I supposed to ignore the fact that it pisses me off though?

[RatInTheWoods]

Dude, I am +1 for go to the wedding and enjoy life.

She let you inside her body FFS, so you can attend a party and have a good time in return.

If you think going will "cuck" you, or that you will be AMOGed etc you are doing game wrong.

[kaotic]

(09-08-2018 04:00 PM)Ballr Wrote:  

Your stance on attending the wedding and having a good time is spot on the best solution outside of dumping her. I'm truthfully considering it just because I've not been able to accept this. She's still on ignore, day 2 (day of wedding)

Seriously? You're thinking of dumping a girl because she's apart of a wedding?

This speaks volumes about your game and frame.

Quote:

I had to look up what 'AMOG' meant and no that's not who I am. Not impressed, jealous, or envious of no other man. I'm the prize. Thing is, on a personal level we're all different in what we accept and don't accept. For example, you can agree with me that most guys don't like knowing elicit details of the woman's pasts and how many guys she slept with. It's very cringey. This is exactly how I can describe what I consider this to be for letting her go and do this.

I was being sarcastic about the AMOG. The AMOG was me being sarcastic about your cousin swooping in on your girl.

You're literally the definition of being jealous and envious of another man.

You've reiterated twice that you don't like that she's talking, taking photos, and walking with another man for the wedding ceremonies.

You aren't letting her go, you aren't doing a single thing, she's the one doing what she wants, you aren't telling her not to go or putting your foot down because she's disrespecting you or that she's wrong.

Quote:

She's the maid of honor for her best friend's wedding and all of this shit is common sense and stuff that goes on in every wedding. You're right. Am I supposed to ignore the fact that it pisses me off though?

You've claimed to have gone to a ton of weddings and claim this is common sense, yet somehow you're still hungup on the fact that your girl is a maid of honor and it's pissing your off.

I've got no other advice for you.

It's a wedding, you aren't being cucked, you aren't looking weak, and you're not losing face.

What you are however, are insecure, especially if this pisses you off.

It speaks volumes in your writing over this thread, especially if you're pissed off at what a girl typically does as the maid of honor i.e. makes a speech, toasts, takes pics, walks down the aisle with the best man etc.

If you're going to go radio silent on her over this, then you might as well dump her now, you aren't ready for a relationship at all, so might as well not drag this relationship on.

Odds are high you'll hold this over her head and bring this up as a "oh yeah, well what about when you went to that wedding and walked down the aisle with that guy and held his arm!?"

That's female thinking dude, you're way better than all of this.

This isn't about her parents at all, that was just hamstering.

This is ALL about her being in a wedding and interacting with men in the wedding party.

[Noir]

If you're gonna freak out about little shit like this, then you ain't ready for any relationship of any kind.

We can sit and be as rational as possible in explaining this to you but you ain't being rational to begin with.

It's like putting diesel in a petrol engine, it's just not gonna run.

Surely you have bigger things to worry about in life.

Go buy a flashlight because you need to lighten the fuck up.

[ShuaiGe]

This was one of the funniest threads I've read since I signed up