[beachbum]

I’m caught between two general mindsets with women. Both come from places of confidence and I’ve had success with both. They are:

1. A play-it-cool, carefree attitude. If I don’t get the girl tonight I’ll get her another night, and if not, there are always other girls

2. A persistent, “I want this specific girl and I need her now,” demeanor where I’m upfront with my feelings toward her very quickly

I’ve always found the carefree attitude to fit me better personality-wise, but lately I’ve been wondering if I’m losing high-quality girls that I really connect with because I’m not aggressive and fast-acting enough.

How do you guys balance a non-scarcity vibe with a more aggressive, personalized approach?

[jordypip23]

(08-08-2018 07:16 AM)beachbum Wrote:  

I’m caught between two general mindsets with women. Both come from places of confidence and I’ve had success with both. They are:

1. A play-it-cool, carefree attitude. If I don’t get the girl tonight I’ll get her another night, and if not, there are always other girls

2. A persistent, “I want this specific girl and I need her now,” demeanor where I’m upfront with my feelings toward her very quickly

I’ve always found the carefree attitude to fit me better personality-wise, but lately I’ve been wondering if I’m losing high-quality girls that I really connect with because I’m not aggressive and fast-acting enough.

How do you guys balance a non-scarcity vibe with a more aggressive, personalized approach?

Nice post. Lately I find myself defaulting to & beginning with approach #1 that you have listed (playing it cool). Once I start building interest & perhaps after a casual face to face I do start implementing #2 sometimes. I also need to be somewhat into the girl to transition into #2. But even then I do a bit of a push pull method where I'm toggling back & forth a little bit between #1 & #2. Seems to be working out for the time being. Of course YMMV & it might depend on the particular chick.

The sweet spot does seem to be somewhere in the middle. Provided you do want to hook up with the girl for real, you don't want to be too "cool & distant", but you don't wanna get too thirsty & clingy either. Whatever you're doing you want to vibe with her somehow & get her begging to hang out with you (which should inevitably lead to other things).