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Language nerd wants to recover
#1

Language nerd wants to recover

I've been reading this forum for a while and I'm excruciatingly thankful for all the red pills.

A little background: I was born and raised in a small village in Hungary. I lost my virginity at the age of 18. I was the timid and hopelessly romantic guy who wrote poems to impress girls, but got rejected many times. As I started to attend university, got exposed to and familiar with other languages. My student years were lame, too, due to faulty logistics and missing courage.
After I graduated, I had the opportunity to move to Prague and to radically change myself. In the period of six months, I transformed into an extremely extroverted guy.
In the last 1,5 years, I've managed to maintain a long term relationship with a lovely Czech-German coo-production and to side bang few chicks.

Due to family and business reasons, I needed to move back to Hungary and I've realized that if I speak English then I'm the social guy with the everything is possible frame, but if I speak Hungarian, I act like a total disaster.

Have you ever experienced that you've got essentially different personalities because of the language you speak?
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#2

Language nerd wants to recover

First post, your own thread.... ugh.

Is it that easy in Hungary? All I have to do is show up and speak English and my life is mastered? I will move there this minute.
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#3

Language nerd wants to recover

^^^I think what he means is that when he speaks English, his extroverted personality comes out as opposed to his conditionned Hungarian programming.

- OP, yes it's normal to have different personalities when speaking different languages. It's not been studied enough, but very widely reported anecdotally. I speak three languages fluently, one conversationally and another very bascially and I can observe variations in personality in each one of them, even between Brazilian Portuguese and European Portuguese for example.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1...rsonality/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/a...guage.html

Quote:Quote:

Between 2001 and 2003, linguists Jean-Marc Dewaele and Aneta Pavlenko asked over a thousand bilinguals whether they 'feel like a different person' when they speak different langauges.

Nearly two-thirds said they did.

https://newrepublic.com/article/117485/m...sonalities
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#4

Language nerd wants to recover

I'm a much more confident person when I speak English. I love english more than my mother tongue, so you're not alone. On the other hand I seem to do a lot better with girls from overseas who don't speak spanish and specially girls who are not from my city. But if I keep with this mindset, I'll be doomed because I will have to play with the hand I was given. How about developing your Asshole game? My asshole game is tight since I genuinely despise the city where I live in and the Colombian girls I have to deal with. With this aside, if you have to deal with hungary, you need to adjust and adapt, take this as an opportunity to improve your game. Conquer, resist, and fight!
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#5

Language nerd wants to recover

I can't speak from experience here, but I've always wondered how bilingual people's thoughts change based on the language they use, and this sounds like a similar situation.

Perhaps the narrative/ego associated with your native language has been compartmentalized or something like that, and when you learned a new language you actually learned a new way to view and interact with the world, which causes you to have a different sort of personality altogether. It's not that far fetched considering that the world is made of language in the form of words, symbols, and abstractions, which all depend on the linguistic-cultural basis from which it came.
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#6

Language nerd wants to recover

Quote: (06-17-2018 12:26 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  

I can't speak from experience here, but I've always wondered how bilingual people's thoughts change based on the language they use, and this sounds like a similar situation.

Perhaps the narrative/ego associated with your native language has been compartmentalized or something like that, and when you learned a new language you actually learned a new way to view and interact with the world, which causes you to have a different sort of personality altogether. It's not that far fetched considering that the world is made of language in the form of words, symbols, and abstractions, which all depend on the linguistic-cultural basis from which it came.

It starts off like that. It's like you're not yourself when you're speaking in the foreign language, but you've reverted to a student and you take on that persona.

But once you're very comfortable navigating around different languages, your mind just looks for the most encompassing word to solve your vocabulary need, at the moment. Which is why sometimes I inadvertently speak German or "Spanglish," when my native tongue is English and I'm communicating in English. Sometimes the word comes to me in Spanish or German and i blurt it out thinking everyone will understand, but they don't and I look silly.

It's a common error that happens to everyone.
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#7

Language nerd wants to recover

Quote: (06-17-2018 12:26 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  

I can't speak from experience here, but I've always wondered how bilingual people's thoughts change based on the language they use, and this sounds like a similar situation.

Perhaps the narrative/ego associated with your native language has been compartmentalized or something like that, and when you learned a new language you actually learned a new way to view and interact with the world, which causes you to have a different sort of personality altogether. It's not that far fetched considering that the world is made of language in the form of words, symbols, and abstractions, which all depend on the linguistic-cultural basis from which it came.

It does. Your whole persona changes based on the language you speak. Even with my now-broken French/Brazilian Portuguese, I come across as much different person than I do in English or intermediate Norwegian.

At a subconscious level, OP might also be having issues stemming from awareness and handicap of his past and not just the language.
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