[stugatz]

I moved around constantly and was a social reject through much of my high school years, didn't get laid until I was about 20 - so I got a very late start with girls. When I started college, it was like a bomb went off in my head. There were ten times the girls, and I wouldn't be seeing half of them again if they rejected me! It was the perfect training ground. All I thought about was girls, and as a result my grades were terrible until I settled on a major. Even after I found a direction, I struggled with a drinking problem and inability to focus on work or grades because I was too busy surfing OKCupid and trying to find creative ways to meet girls other than in class or at parties.

It turned out that girls liked me enough, but my need to be approved of was so obvious, few of them took me too seriously. I DID have enough sex, but it was all one-night drunken hookups that didn't last long. It was almost like the sex never happened because it was so temporary, and my circle of acquaintances (I was in a fraternity for a few semesters) laughed at my bumbling desperation with women behind my back. Of course due to my girl obsession, I was a terrible employee (skipped multiple days of work) and ended up being a few thousand dollars in credit card debt - which I am still paying off.

Soon after this, my life got a direction - after living abroad for 9 months (and thriving!) I've found that I want to become fluent in a language or two and teach overseas for a bit. To do this, I am going to first pay off my debts and probably finish my final year of college. I have also become minorly politically active lately, and we'll see where that takes me (involved in a campaign for a House member).

I've been on a dating hiatus ever since arriving back in the US in mid-2016. Paying off the debts is taking forever, frankly - it may take until mid-2019, and that's being kind. I am looking for better work. I really want to start talking to girls again...but when I walk past an insanely pretty girl and get that animal desire, I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again and quickly lose my direction in life.

I try asking male friends of mine for advice on this, but it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't - my friends who are good with women naturally can't relate to this problem, and I don't want advice from friends who are clueless with girls.

[YoungBlade]

"I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em." - The Notorious B.I.G.

Make a passive pussy stream. No need to set them at the center. When you approach, know that no matter what happens, you're gonna be ok. If she rejects, move along. She doesn't validate you. You validate you. Keep moving forward, let pussy pass into your hand and flow out like flower petals in a brook. There's always more where that came from.

[jetli123]

The solution to your problem is definitely not living on the extreme end of the spectrum. A life well balanced is the key to success. A little womanizing, a little bit of work, and little bit of your own personal enjoyment in terms of activities will do the trick.

[MdWanderer]

Brother, please hear me out. And I don't throw around the 'B' word that much. But you are so much like me it's scary. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22 (to a random barslut) and wasted thousands of dollars in college buying clothes and barhopping trying to get laid. My grades suffered and I kept switching up majors due to the lack of focus and it hurts me to this day. I have done nothing with the degree that I earned, so I joined the military to get back on my feet. Since then I have been with my fair share of women and am currently in a LTR now.

I am far from an experienced player or womanizer, but I will tell you what I've would've done. If you are the type to get too emotionally attached to women, hold off until your overseas teaching stint is over. NOTHING will kill the freedom to travel like a woman. I am sure there are other men who can balance both but it seems like you would have a hard time doing that, as do I.

When I was in undergrad I applied and got accepted to a study abroad program in London. Finally, after years of deciding on a country and a program, I was able to find one and had the funds to make it happen. To make a long story short, I met a girl that winter who I fell head over heels in love with. We dated for a while but she broke up with me a few months before I was to start the program. I was so heartbroken I dropped out of the program and spent that entire summer I was supposed to be in London crying, drinking, and smoking like a chimney in my dormroom at the University of Maryland instead. It remains to this day the biggest regret of my life. A lot of my friends in college who made fun of my not getting laid are now married to their college girlfriends, getting fat and not doing the things that I was able to do because I was single such as living in other parts of the country, traveling to foreign countries, etc. They are truly controlled and have fallen off the face of the earth.

You have the rest of your lifetime to get quality pussy. And from my guess you are in your early 20s. Get your finances right, get that overseas teaching job and the language learning down now while you are still young. By the time you get to your 30s, with the traveling out of the way, financial stability, and a foreign language down to boot, you will set yourself up better with all of that out of the way to give yourself more to a relationship.

[MaceTyrell]

I have 26 notches, at 25.

I’d trade half of those notches for 1. No credit card debt, 2. Better grades in college and 3. A better sense of self contentment.

I’m still trying to break myself out of the addiction.

[churros]

(06-12-2018 10:41 PM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  

I have 26 notches, at 25.

I’d trade half of those notches for 1. No credit card debt, 2. Better grades in college and 3. A better sense of self contentment.

I’m still trying to break myself out of the addiction.

I don't see why your problems are related to running game.

[Redcloud]

In my opinion, you're either in the game or you're not.

Like anything in life, the only way to get good is to become obsessed and spend inordinate amounts of time perfecting your skills.

If you only go on 1 date per week, the odds are against you, and you'll become frustrated when you aren't closing those girls.

All that said, I've never found a way to balance the two, unfortunately. I wish I could, because it's exhausting. But at the end of the day, it's a lot of fun and I enjoy spending time with girls. The way I see it, from 8pm-11pm on weeknights I'd probably be pissing away my time anyway, so might as well go out on dates and try to fuck cute girls.

[Supreme4ever]

Did you mean 26 women in one year at the age of 25 or 26 women in your lifetime in which nowhere sounds like an addict. I wish you a lot of luck buddy if you think that is an addiction. But me and my mate were doing those numbers in 6 months. All in all good credit is important, grades meh. It's good to have sent but it is also about who you know and not always what you know. Word to the wise be the cheese not the rat.

[kuqezi]

(06-08-2018 01:10 PM)stugatz Wrote:  

I moved around constantly and was a social reject through much of my high school years, didn't get laid until I was about 20 - so I got a very late start with girls. When I started college, it was like a bomb went off in my head. There were ten times the girls, and I wouldn't be seeing half of them again if they rejected me! It was the perfect training ground. All I thought about was girls, and as a result my grades were terrible until I settled on a major. Even after I found a direction, I struggled with a drinking problem and inability to focus on work or grades because I was too busy surfing OKCupid and trying to find creative ways to meet girls other than in class or at parties.

It turned out that girls liked me enough, but my need to be approved of was so obvious, few of them took me too seriously. I DID have enough sex, but it was all one-night drunken hookups that didn't last long. It was almost like the sex never happened because it was so temporary, and my circle of acquaintances (I was in a fraternity for a few semesters) laughed at my bumbling desperation with women behind my back. Of course due to my girl obsession, I was a terrible employee (skipped multiple days of work) and ended up being a few thousand dollars in credit card debt - which I am still paying off.

Soon after this, my life got a direction - after living abroad for 9 months (and thriving!) I've found that I want to become fluent in a language or two and teach overseas for a bit. To do this, I am going to first pay off my debts and probably finish my final year of college. I have also become minorly politically active lately, and we'll see where that takes me (involved in a campaign for a House member).

I've been on a dating hiatus ever since arriving back in the US in mid-2016. Paying off the debts is taking forever, frankly - it may take until mid-2019, and that's being kind. I am looking for better work. I really want to start talking to girls again...but when I walk past an insanely pretty girl and get that animal desire, I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again and quickly lose my direction in life.

I try asking male friends of mine for advice on this, but it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't - my friends who are good with women naturally can't relate to this problem, and I don't want advice from friends who are clueless with girls.

You need to create a plan and stick to it...keep yourself honest and always check in with your plan.

1. Progress in career/business
2. Pay off the debt
3. Start learning the new language(s)

Make the above the priorities over anything else...so things like going out, partying, meeting girls, etc...should come in second hand!
While you stick to your plan you'll notice that you'd improve a lot and be naturally better at your tasks. Your career/business will get better too and debt should decrease.
You will naturally have progressively more time to relax, pick up a hobby, read more...
Only after the above happen try to naturally meet girls organically in this leisure time of yourself.
That's how I see it, hope it helps!
The plan will help you in the longterm...there are things/steps in life you have to do at their own time. Finding pussy can be done at any time! (at least according to my opinion)

[Dragan]

Moderation, don't let game take over your life. Set limits.

[wonderman]

"I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again."

Wow, how about enjoying this for a second? I have always been single for my whole life. I have never ever made a woman the center of my universe. I never ever found a women really interesting. I never ever thought they understood what I said. I wish I would make a woman the center of my universe. I wish there was a woman where I would think "wow, finally a woman I'd like to see again".

Although this won't really help you, just be aware that there are (few) guys like me who are on the other side of the spectrum. I never fell in love. I never had the wish to see a girl again. I never made anything the center of my universe (besides of trying to start my own business but I failed over and over). Just try to enjoy that feeling for one second. At least there ARE girls on this planet who could be the center of your universe. Not bad, in my eyes. To me, such a thought is very abstractive, I have no idea how this would feel like.

[Axel99]

(06-14-2018 03:35 PM)wonderman Wrote:  

"I am afraid that I'll make women the center of my universe again."

Wow, how about enjoying this for a second? I have always been single for my whole life. I have never ever made a woman the center of my universe. I never ever found a women really interesting. I never ever thought they understood what I said. I wish I would make a woman the center of my universe. I wish there was a woman where I would think "wow, finally a woman I'd like to see again".

Although this won't really help you, just be aware that there are (few) guys like me who are on the other side of the spectrum. I never fell in love. I never had the wish to see a girl again. I never made anything the center of my universe (besides of trying to start my own business but I failed over and over). Just try to enjoy that feeling for one second. At least there ARE girls on this planet who could be the center of your universe. Not bad, in my eyes. To me, such a thought is very abstractive, I have no idea how this would feel like.

Holy shit man, this is exactly how I feel. I have fucked over 180 girls, I've never dated, already have a vasectomy planned, and I wish I could fall in love and care about another human. But I've never felt that, like that part of my brain never developed.

[wonderman]

interesting..

Quote:

I wish I could fall in love and care about another human. But I've never felt that, like that part of my brain never developed.

.. but I never even wished to fall in love.. I guess I just have very different priorities than most humans... e.g. when I discuss with others about what is most important for humanity, I always mention that everyone should have enough food, a place to sleep etc... it's crazy but 99% of all people say this is important but in the end, they never vote to open their borders, to limit crazy incomes/heritage etc..(in contrast, they vote for trumps and co, for extremely stupid and selfish people).. I am simply not attracted at all to all those women who have a different mindset on those topics.. i.e. those who say "we first, then we can to take care of the rest"... you will never ever create a better world with the "me first" mindset..

I simply have different priorities... guess I simply never met a girl with a similar mindset, who is cute at the same time, and not too old.. then again I just met too many women who always say "it's just my intuition".. I really want to avoid a relationship that ends with that phrase... I prefer to stay alone for my whole life.. no big deal.. in the end we are alone anyway.. thoughts are thoughts.. counsciousness is crazy, no idea how this could happen.. but you are still separated from the rest of the universe no big deal, everything has 2 sides :-P

[tomzestatlu]

(06-17-2018 07:08 AM)wonderman Wrote:  

interesting..

Quote:

I wish I could fall in love and care about another human. But I've never felt that, like that part of my brain never developed.

.. but I never even wished to fall in love.. I guess I just have very different priorities than most humans... e.g. when I discuss with others about what is most important for humanity, I always mention that everyone should have enough food, a place to sleep etc... it's crazy but 99% of all people say this is important but in the end, they never vote to open their borders, to limit crazy incomes/heritage etc..(in contrast, they vote for trumps and co, for extremely stupid and selfish people).. I am simply not attracted at all to all those women who have a different mindset on those topics.. i.e. those who say "we first, then we can to take care of the rest"... you will never ever create a better world with the "me first" mindset..

I simply have different priorities... guess I simply never met a girl with a similar mindset, who is cute at the same time, and not too old.. then again I just met too many women who always say "it's just my intuition".. I really want to avoid a relationship that ends with that phrase... I prefer to stay alone for my whole life.. no big deal.. in the end we are alone anyway.. thoughts are thoughts.. counsciousness is crazy, no idea how this could happen.. but you are still separated from the rest of the universe no big deal, everything has 2 sides :-P