[Hazaer]

This thread was inspired after talking to some of the post grads at a university where I am at. I am sure a lot of guys in the forum at some point or another have considered going for higher qualifications as part of their career plan or out of interest/opportunities that might have presented itself.

How can these guys do it right? A graduate degree is going to take a minimum of a year at least or more in the case of the US and other places. I have seen too many grad school guys trying to chat up undergrads at on-campus events getting shutdown. Appear in enough of these events and these guys quickly make a name of themselves and not in a good way. The same pattern repeats at nightlife venues. Even cool post grad girls who are up for fun are struggling to date at times. The issues of this particular demographic of guys who otherwise would be in the working world are as follows:

1. The 'too old' vibe - Guys complaining about how there is a hard divide between undergrads and postgrads, seems to happen a lot in the US it seems.

2. Demographics of post grad population is overwhelmingly FOB - Low value for guys hanging out from that group. The remaining guys seem extremely unaware of game.

3. On campus residences segregate between undergrad and postgrad -> Establishing social circles with undergrads just became a lot harder

4. How to connect with the working professionals, being in school? Apart from the gym, any other societies that might help? Most of these seem to be filled with ladies in their 40s looking for conversation.

5. Normally, there are fewer classes for postgrads and more research work meaning lesser opportunities to form networks through class and more time spent working in solitude possibly resulting in a decline in social skills overtime.

The hardest challenge for guys seem to be the choice between creating social circles between the working professionals who are less accessible and undergrad students who are more accessible but more closed off as well and this is coupled with undergrad guys doing white knighting/orbiting. Dating prospects and even finding a cool dude to hang around at the postgrad level seem abysmal given the lack of quality among the girls and the apparent little prior experience in relationships among the guys. Also, the paranoia about harassment on campus does not help so excessive daygaming esp. at a small campus is a risk.

So, for all the guys who have successfully integrated into the city while studying postgrad, what have worked for you? What are the things that have not? We all know hitting the nightspots is an option but if you are staying longer term, its not sustainable without a social circle.

For now, let us stick to the anglosphere and areas where English would be more than enough.

To start things off, things that I have seen successful for guys in this situation:

1. Size of city matters A LOT - Smaller cities means tighter cliques both on campus and off. In this case even staying near in the city wont do much good. Unless the reputation of your course makes it worth the trade off.

2. If you are moving interstate or across countries, start off your stay by actively hanging with people who are not from your home state/country. A lot of guys fall into the trap of looking for people who are of similar culture/nationalities who might also be hesitant reaching out to people. The first month is crucial for forming friendships with like minded guys that would pay dividends for the rest of your stay.

3. Being in a relationship with a girl shortly after you arrive in a city is a huge DHV in any social circle he/she might be in. Girls tend to be keen on having relationship though it might be short, if they are new to a city too, especially at the beginning of a semester so it might not matter as much if you are postgrad and she is undergrad. But you got to hit the ground running from your first day.

Will be great to hear your experiences.

[churros]

In the United States, being a graduate student has considerable stigma attached to it:

The programs can last over seven years, so the slippage between age and status is even more egregious than unusual.

If you're a post-grad, you better be at a good institution. These institutions are full of rich kids who are acutely status consciousness, and want to mate among their peers.

Partially this damage is self-inflicted, becase US grad students are the most disgustingly self-pitying, whining demographic I've ever encountered. They even take pleasure in their own degradation, as the phenomenon of PhD Comics has proven.

[/php]

So what do you do? Accept you are basically the Indian race troll on campus. Have a life that defines you beyond your grad student activities. Stop associating wtih grad students and run daygame. Study at the public libraries, at other universities.

[Hazaer]

Yeah, I have observed the self deprecating behavior from american grad students as well, hardly the right frame to hold or the right environment for guys who want to better themselves let alone interact with women. I am guessing its the heavy workload and the unstable income situation that they find themselves in.

The thing is, the fact that you are a grad student is going to come out whichever university you approach in, most undergrad students are going to feel the same way, though there are a few rare undergrads who come in with the intention to do grad studies and so would be interested in you. Also, most undergrads are going to feel the peer pressure that comes with dating someone quite a bit older.

But I have found that working professionals are more interested in knowing more about the work that grad students do because most of them, at some level want to go back to school to get that Masters degree or MBA. The question is how would you create that social circle that adds value to you apart from daygame/nightgame? How do you meet these people in a new city as a student? Even just to hang out and have a beer. Unfortunately, it seems most of the guys in grad school have massive insecurities with regards to girls and have nothing interesting to talk about apart from their work, the papers they write, the lack of jobs later and their thesis. The video was spot on.

[Rang off the Pipe]

Being a graduate student changes the game. Even though you're on a college campus as a student, you'll never quite be in the same loop as an undergraduate for a variety of reasons related to the bubble effects that pervade throughout the social scenes. However, all is not lost and there are certain ways to counteract this.

Hazaer already mentioned some good advice (avoid college bars and events meant for undergrads). On a college campus, even some of the larger ones, it's really easy to develop a negative reputation since people have such a strong village mentality. Thus, standard cold approaches won't do very much and may actually be adverse. The key is to become a part of a social circle that allows you to easily meet attractive girls. If things are going right, you'll eventually be invited to things and gain status, which is so important in the college bubble. You never ever want to come off as needy, especially since you're starting from -10 as a grad student.

The best time to meet people is within the first few weeks of a semester. These people can be either guys or girls who preferably aren't reclusive or "lame". It's ok if they're not party animals or fratstars/sorostitutes, but they should have some circle of people you'd be interested in being around.

How do you go about actually meeting people? If it's a guy, it shouldn't be too hard--the gym, common activities, classes, etc. With girls, well, that's a whole part of the reason this forum exists. Once again, though, I stress not doing PUA-type cold approaches. Instead, try to have a friendly conversation with a girl that happens to be near you. Many campuses have open places where people relax when the weather is nice. Just place yourself in a position within reasonable distance of a girl you find attractive, and then maybe comment about the environment or ask an open-ended question. The goal is to just have a conversation, and not worry about the outcome. Whatever happens will happen. If things go well, you can suggest she hangs out with "you and your friends"; some girls will even do the work for you and ask for your contact info if they really found you engaging. Don't frame things like you're proposing a date, otherwise you'll "scare the cat".

The above can also be applied to people you just happen to run across as you go about your day. It can be a little tougher in libraries (although even those places have louder sections), but it's not such a big deal. Also, your mileage may vary with freshmen since they don't really have a social circle upon entering campus. In some ways that can make things easier since they may be more open to doing things than an older undergrad.

Once, again the goal is to get invited to things and gradually build your status in the social circle so that girls are chasing you. For all the girls that will dismiss you for being a grad student, there are a great many who would be flattered to be around a cool one. The important thing is to be patient.

It also doesn't hurt to study or relax at other colleges or universities in the same town. Being a part of a social circle at another school doesn't hurt, especially if that school attracts women that better suit your preferences.

Note: If you happen to be a teaching assistant (which many grad students are at some point), you'll have to exercise some caution. However, TA's often have a pretty good idea who is in a course because they know the rosters. And down the line this can even be a DHV is a girl recognizes you after she is done with a course that you were a TA for.

Finally, if you're a grad student in a larger city, you can still run standard game outside of the college sphere. In smaller places, that just may not be possible because the "townie" circles in some places may be even more insular than the ones in the local college or university.

[a beer is enough]

It is depressing just how pessimistic a forum as great as this is about life after college. Maybe it is because my college experience was shitty and I found that outside of Greek Life, it was tough to get much going socially that matters anyways. My life got a lot better after college and I found that I had better friendships, better social experiences and more success with women.

As for contributing my two cents to this thread, I found that in my experience, grad students had the most success back at my old school in working for local bars and nightclubs college kids would gather at. Bartender at a local night club meant crazy amounts of status and these guys could slay on the same level as some fraternity guys in top houses. So my suggestion to a grad student or an older guy is to find a spot that local college kids gather at and do something there.

It could be taking part in an activity college kids run over to such as surfing in a college town near a beach or bartender at a bar that college kids occasionally go over to.

[Hazaer]

(06-02-2018 08:15 PM)Rang off the Pipe Wrote:  

How do you go about actually meeting people? If it's a guy, it shouldn't be too hard--the gym, common activities, classes, etc.


Note: If you happen to be a teaching assistant (which many grad students are at some point), you'll have to exercise some caution. However, TA's often have a pretty good idea who is in a course because they know the rosters. And down the line this can even be a DHV is a girl recognizes you after she is done with a course that you were a TA for.

Finally, if you're a grad student in a larger city, you can still run standard game outside of the college sphere. In smaller places, that just may not be possible because the "townie" circles in some places may be even more insular than the ones in the local college or university.

What kind of common activities do you refer to apart from gym? Any club you join at uni is going to be heavily skewed towards undegrads who already have their own friend circles before joining.

I second the caution towards approaching students in classes you are teaching. Its not worth the risk.

Again, the size of the city is critical, more so if you are a postgrad student. I have seen too many students trying to escape the solitude by travelling. Apart from burning through the limited income that grad students have, its not a healthy way of dealing with things, if meeting people is the objective.

I wonder if the experience might depend on the region you are studying in too. Places like Europe might be more accepting of the difference in education levels where there is no campus culture so peer pressure wont be as bad. Someone doing postgrad in Germany or France might not have trouble getting into a social circle or even a relationship if he looks somewhat different or from a 'cool' place like LA or Australia, he doesnt even have to do day/nightgame. Like most other things, it looks like doing post grad in the US/Australia is going to lead to a generic sub standard experience. The same snobbery and entitlement seems to follow some girls even at the postgrad level. Maybe the UK or Ireland might be a small step up with continental Europe at the doorstep. I know of indian students who had no trouble hanging out with locals in Scandinavia and they didn't have an inkling of game. Latin america/Quebec can be an option for those who can speak spanish/french and if the University is good. Obviously job prospects will be critical when going for these options.

It doesnt have to look bleak for a postgrad student but people can consider looking in different places and compare their experiences.

[Hazaer]

(06-02-2018 10:18 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

It is depressing just how pessimistic a forum as great as this is about life after college. Maybe it is because my college experience was shitty and I found that outside of Greek Life, it was tough to get much going socially that matters anyways. My life got a lot better after college and I found that I had better friendships, better social experiences and more success with women.

As for contributing my two cents to this thread, I found that in my experience, grad students had the most success back at my old school in working for local bars and nightclubs college kids would gather at. Bartender at a local night club meant crazy amounts of status and these guys could slay on the same level as some fraternity guys in top houses. So my suggestion to a grad student or an older guy is to find a spot that local college kids gather at and do something there.

It could be taking part in an activity college kids run over to such as surfing in a college town near a beach or bartender at a bar that college kids occasionally go over to.

Really depends because though you might know people more doing these things, just the fact that you are post grad is like a label on you. I know some post grads doing the exact same things you mentioned and while they know lots of people, they are not 'slaying'. I never see them with any girls though they seem to know all the guys on campus. Atleast in the anglosphere, there is no individuality among undergrads so if you are not part of a social circle, you just dont have much status. People will know you as an acquaintance but its also easy to be friendzoned unless you make a move at the right time with a girl who has an interest on postgrad studies and is not at the same time eyeing a jersey shore type of guy in her circle. Also, the undergrad schedule is so different that while the undergrad dude can call over the girl to 'study' together, your research and teaching responsibilities run at a different schedule.

On a side note, it seems that the 'bartender is a good way to pickup' idea has run its course. I am seeing chumps saying the same thing and sprouting up everywhere after reading it from some PUA website and going on to get the necessary certification and ending up at campus bars with nothing of value to offer despite their exposure to volume. Other guys turn up with girls at the bar, seem to know the bartender and and get the DHV instead.

[a beer is enough]

I've been at your mindset before and I'll be frank dude, you shouldn't bother with slaying at this point. The mindset that slayers have is unreal compared to the mindset you have. I already gave you a path and immediately, I get a 100 different rationalizations as for why it can't happen.

I get it, there are obstacles and we can talk about that but pointing fingers at all undergrads is a waste of your time. Sure you won't get top tier sorority girls but there are a lot of hot girls on a college campus.

You seem to think a lot like a typical STEM student, overanalyzing every scenario.

Here is the truth, you either have it or you don't at some point. Some good looking guy can get on Bumble in that same college campus and have some cute college girl over to his place, defeating this whole hivemind mindset you bring up.

Guess if you are convinced of something, you'll find every way to lose.

[Hazaer]

Well, we must have seen very different experiences. I am not sure when your experiences with post grad life was but my observations are current. Also, there might be a slight difference in uni cultures between the US and other places, here down under, people are not big on societies or activities run by uni, the few of which are pretty lame and very few (Mostly FOBs) attend. People do surfing etc. as a kind of private activities with friends they know. People come to uni and leave for home in their cars, kind of like commuter schools in the US resulting in campuses that look empty even during semester times unless it is right in the city. Nevertheless, I have seen guys who have done everything they can to get integrated but it has been challenging and frustrating for them and most of them eventually give up. They tried bartending, starting societies on campus, being present and doing approaches during on campus events, hitting up the nightlife, staying on campus etc. All of these help them know people but when they come over and talk as if getting a girlfriend is a big deal, I know something is not working and this is a pattern I have seen over a few batches of students who undertake postgrad studies.

That's the reason I thought guys who might be thinking that doing post grad is good to continue on the party lifestyle they have, might as well understand the realities and proven ways of tackling this from their first day from guys who have done it in this forum. Else, there is this feeling of disconnect that postgrads often experience from the rest of the student population and obviously the working population as well.

[RDF]

^
I don't think many people would suggest that doing post-grad studies is a good way to "continue on the party lifestyle". It is very different than undergrad and I think everybody on this thread agrees with that. Really, if you want to continue the party lifestyle, you should move to a bigger city and live in a neighborhood with a high population of 20-somethings who have recently graduated.

If you decide to take post-grad studies for yourself and for your career, it really depends on location. If you're in a medium-to-large sized city, you should build your circle outside of the college bubble in addition to inside of it. If you're in a small city, this will be more difficult since everything revolves around the college bubble, especially if the university is undergrad focused. Regardless we all need to build ourselves as our own people after graduating undergrad, so I think the best advice is to do things that YOU want to do, and simultaneously improve all of the variables within your control (get a cool unique style, work out to be in decent to above-average shape, etc). There's other great advice in this thread as well.

As for yourself, I have to agree with 'a beer is enough' that you seem to be overly pessimistic about the dating scene and make a lot of excuses for why somebody isn't successful. What are your interests outside of women? Do you enjoy surfing, biking, photography? I do think you should consider my advice above, where if you continue to work on yourself as a man, and place yourself in the proximity of attractive and cool women, eventually you will find your way. You won't become a "slayer" overnight. Nobody does. Its a process that takes time, but there's no better time to start than now.

[yang2287]

I will try to respond as i have a bit of experience here.

Me, black Phd student in a french city in Bretagne region that is a millitary shithole

I used to live in a city called Nantes for My Masters and there you had social circles, house parties girls, the whole 9

Here as a Phd student you lack access to all these things, you dont get invites on facebook tocome to house parties and bring your bottle

We all know house parties are the place to be in France

Night game, dead, horrible ratios, bitch shields, 49ers etc . . . just not enough girls to around plus being a millitary city, even more thirsty dudes to f*** it all up

Online, there are some sites like AdopteunMec but its filled with broken hearts and 49ers, fatsos, the bitch who knows her time is coming etc etc. Tinder? We all know how tinder is horrible for the black man.

My solution: Force my way in to student parties that are a bit public where you can find the tickets, not crashing the party but really attend in a nice way like buy a ticket and go down there. These parties have insane ratios, like 4:1 , girls:boys . . .its almost like these bitches all decide to go to the same places, i kid you not, they behave like sheep here, herd mentality, go to the same parties and you wouldnt believe the numbers. Problem is that these parties are few and far between so its a stop start for my game. the last time i was there i pulled but got LMR pffft but its very easy to pull at these parties becauses the girls are more relaxed since the door has been filtered.

I am talking End of the year gala, party to celebrate end of exams, party to celebrate before exams, party to celebate new semester, camping in a city 20 mins from your city, etc etc. . . Dont go to the feminist bullshit like joggin in jupe, seriously there is some f***** up feminists running France and they get funded from the state budget with a minister, bref.

You wouldnt believe how horrny, relaxed and not-bitchy girls can be inside a filtered door, just run normal dance-floor game escalate, establish DTF and run for the door. Seriously run for the door with your girl, here in France you get cockblocked by her friends, by the AMOG guys, by the doorman, the dj, etc, seriously run for the door with your girl. One girl was getting her jacket with me and i had 3 of her friends beside us blatanly telling her to ditch me, that she'd regret demain. They followed us to the bus and spent 15mins trying to convince her to leave m. shit . . .but i had kissed angels into her corny head so she had the willpower to insist on following me

And i usually role solo as most of my phd colleagues are either married or have no energy it requires to chase poon or no game or not interested etc etc

Last night was a gala and i was suited up, start with champagne cocktails and move to the table and the girls couldnt believe i showed up to the gala alon . . You get the usual shit tests who are you? where are you friends? Like bitch its a gala you are all my friends pffft, but it also show you are a confident motherfucker cos they cant do that. It takes steel balls for a french person to go to a gala alone

Otherwise, weeknds all students go home and the city is dead, its almost like someone announces to all students to go home and they run away from the city only to come back sunday evening

On the whole its a grind . . .I think being a small city plays a big part in the disaster here, clickish, herd mentality, small mindedness

I know its not me because i was in Paris last week and managed to pull a slooth in 1hr infront of a club in Austerlitz near the ecole de mode. I didnt even enter the club so big city big opportunities

so to recap, if you are postgrad try to stay in big cities if you can, i imagine Paris and New york will be good for opportunites, though they can be very expensive for a post grad, which by the way is why i chose a small city ahead of paris.

But you dont really do a postgrad for chasing women do you? there are other careers that you can do this . . . Its for the love of science

[yang2287]

error

[Rang off the Pipe]

(06-02-2018 10:49 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

What kind of common activities do you refer to apart from gym? Any club you join at uni is going to be heavily skewed towards undegrads who already have their own friend circles before joining.

Sports activities, dance clubs, foreign language groups, and any other kind of activity you can think of. Yes, some clubs may be heavily skewed toward undergrads, but that doesn't mean you can't try to bond with people. If they behave exclusive, forget about them. You should have a mindset of being outcome independent anyway since there are so many other people on a college campus.

And my post was based on the atmosphere of the typical American university, where students are based on campus their first one or two years and then move to somewhere off-campus (but still in the town/city) as upperclassmen. These are schools where people are somewhat involved in campus life and not simply commuting. Outside of the US, things can be different.

[Hazaer]

(06-03-2018 06:53 AM)yang2287 Wrote:  

I will try to respond as i have a bit of experience here.

Me, black Phd student in a french city in Bretagne region that is a millitary shithole

I used to live in a city called Nantes for My Masters and there you had social circles, house parties girls, the whole 9

Here as a Phd student you lack access to all these things, you dont get invites on facebook tocome to house parties and bring your bottle

We all know house parties are the place to be in France

Night game, dead, horrible ratios, bitch shields, 49ers etc . . . just not enough girls to around plus being a millitary city, even more thirsty dudes to f*** it all up

Online, there are some sites like AdopteunMec but its filled with broken hearts and 49ers, fatsos, the bitch who knows her time is coming etc etc. Tinder? We all know how tinder is horrible for the black man.

My solution: Force my way in to student parties that are a bit public where you can find the tickets, not crashing the party but really attend in a nice way like buy a ticket and go down there. These parties have insane ratios, like 4:1 , girls:boys . . .its almost like these bitches all decide to go to the same places, i kid you not, they behave like sheep here, herd mentality, go to the same parties and you wouldnt believe the numbers. Problem is that these parties are few and far between so its a stop start for my game. the last time i was there i pulled but got LMR pffft but its very easy to pull at these parties becauses the girls are more relaxed since the door has been filtered.

I am talking End of the year gala, party to celebrate end of exams, party to celebrate before exams, party to celebate new semester, camping in a city 20 mins from your city, etc etc. . . Dont go to the feminist bullshit like joggin in jupe, seriously there is some f***** up feminists running France and they get funded from the state budget with a minister, bref.

You wouldnt believe how horrny, relaxed and not-bitchy girls can be inside a filtered door, just run normal dance-floor game escalate, establish DTF and run for the door. Seriously run for the door with your girl, here in France you get cockblocked by her friends, by the AMOG guys, by the doorman, the dj, etc, seriously run for the door with your girl. One girl was getting her jacket with me and i had 3 of her friends beside us blatanly telling her to ditch me, that she'd regret demain. They followed us to the bus and spent 15mins trying to convince her to leave m. shit . . .but i had kissed angels into her corny head so she had the willpower to insist on following me

And i usually role solo as most of my phd colleagues are either married or have no energy it requires to chase poon or no game or not interested etc etc

Last night was a gala and i was suited up, start with champagne cocktails and move to the table and the girls couldnt believe i showed up to the gala alon . . You get the usual shit tests who are you? where are you friends? Like bitch its a gala you are all my friends pffft, but it also show you are a confident motherfucker cos they cant do that. It takes steel balls for a french person to go to a gala alone

Otherwise, weeknds all students go home and the city is dead, its almost like someone announces to all students to go home and they run away from the city only to come back sunday evening

On the whole its a grind . . .I think being a small city plays a big part in the disaster here, clickish, herd mentality, small mindedness

I know its not me because i was in Paris last week and managed to pull a slooth in 1hr infront of a club in Austerlitz near the ecole de mode. I didnt even enter the club so big city big opportunities

so to recap, if you are postgrad try to stay in big cities if you can, i imagine Paris and New york will be good for opportunites, though they can be very expensive for a post grad, which by the way is why i chose a small city ahead of paris.

But you dont really do a postgrad for chasing women do you? there are other careers that you can do this . . . Its for the love of science

Great post. +1
The description pretty much sums up the experiences of a lot of postgrads in smallish cities. People start the course with a lot of enthusiasm about the city and of course their studies and join a lot societies etc. But by the time they finish, they cant wait to leave and often ending up poorer or at the same level financially and without a stable job most times. So, it seems to me that the social life and the financial situation takes a hit unless you are in a big city where you will end up poorer despite the socializing opportunities. And its not all for the love of science too, some find it as a way to migrate but still complain about the money, funding for research etc. But that is for another thread.

Its such a coincidence, there is this intern from Brest at my department who is here for a few months. Got the number. Contacted after a couple days and she replies late saying, I was talking to my bf when you texted. I dont know if she is being honest or if it was a shit test.

Props to you for putting yourself out there solo. This is the grind, paying for a ticket and going alone when all your postgrad buddies complain about the money, or their work, deadline etc. They call these events balls here.

Rising above the c-block by 3 girls while solo is epic. Your efforts during your undergrad days are paying off.

Yeah, come to think of it, unless you are in an LTR, big cities are the best if you want an active life outside of the uni. But get ready to see your wallet go dry. In the end, post grad life is really a compromise about the key things in life if you think about it.

[yang2287]

(06-04-2018 09:24 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Its such a coincidence, there is this intern from Brest at my department who is here for a few months. Got the number. Contacted after a couple days and she replies late saying, I was talking to my bf when you texted. I dont know if she is being honest or if it was a shit test

A french woman in a foreign country is the one of the easiest pull you will ever have. If she says french and its not in France, assume DTF and move FAST.

For your specific case, dont think about it too much, shit tests or not, pull directly to your place for cooking and hanging out, watching movie, beer and pizza . . . whatever. . . . escalate and close. Dont date until you establish DTF, move fast, the usual steps etc etc.

See more here:
thread-8341-...#pid122340

(06-04-2018 09:24 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Yeah, come to think of it, unless you are in an LTR, big cities are the best if you want an active life outside of the uni.

Yeah i didnt mention this part in the post but i think there is a lot of LTR here in this small city, basically dudes find a girl, declare victory and stick to her while playing the doormat/beta boyfriend

Its a womans market here and i imagine in other small cities its the same. This has an effect of skewing the market and taking a large pile of women off the shelves.

The young girls grow up and run away to Paris, so you either have childish sneaker wearing 16 years old or over 30 year-olds who "Are looking for du serieuse" pfffft. 23-26 year-olds escape to Paris/Berlin to ride the carousel and then move back to Bretagne when they hit the wall.
if i had a dollar for every time i met a bitch who hit the wall and moved back from Paris/Berlin or other big city after riding the carousel.

[Hazaer]

(06-04-2018 12:15 PM)yang2287 Wrote:  

(06-04-2018 09:24 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Its such a coincidence, there is this intern from Brest at my department who is here for a few months. Got the number. Contacted after a couple days and she replies late saying, I was talking to my bf when you texted. I dont know if she is being honest or if it was a shit test

A french woman in a foreign country is the one of the easiest pull you will ever have. If she says french and its not in France, assume DTF and move FAST.

For your specific case, dont think about it too much, shit tests or not, pull directly to your place for cooking and hanging out, watching movie, beer and pizza . . . whatever. . . . escalate and close. Dont date until you establish DTF, move fast, the usual steps etc etc.

See more here:
thread-8341-...#pid122340

Arent there other big cities in france after paris like lyon, marseille, toulouse where working professionals end up?

Yeah, french girls overseas.. It almost sux to be their bf at least those I have met in my travels. But this girl is just too polite. She actually apologized after taking some time to text back after my initial text because of her bf. I didnt reply after that. Makes me think that she really must have a bf. I can see that the bang is very possible but there is bound to be regrets for her if she is really attached. And then I got to see her in class for the next 3 months. And tbh, she is definitely not top tier haha but definitely a nice change from the obnoxious locals here. Just curious, are the native french girls usually quite tan in the Brittany region?

[yang2287]

(06-05-2018 01:16 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Arent there other big cities in france after paris like lyon, marseille, toulouse where working professionals end up?

Yes there are other big cities like Lyon and Toulouse, that could also be good for Post grad. Grenoble and Nantes are not bad also for students as there are a lot of Erasmus. A good metric to judge a city is to check the City's Erasmus Facebook page (Insert year here). . . There you should see events, updates, parties,gala, campings for that city. If it doesnt exist, you should not move to this city for postgraduate. Erasmus students are much more open than locals, much more fun and frankly you could be on a diet of Erasmus students for all your time in Postgraduate and not miss a thing.

(06-05-2018 01:16 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Yeah, french girls overseas.. It almost sux to be their bf at least those I have met in my travels. Just curious, are the native french girls usually quite tan in the Brittany region?

Yeah the girls here are Free. Femme Liberer . . . so i dont know why you should feel bad for the bf. a girl who leaves her bf and moves to another country (even for 6 months ) is looking for fun and you get to be the Chad. The Breton girls are celt so they are not tan, not a lot of sun here. Usually ginger hair and bland. they look more celt i guess, dont know a lot about european racial distribution

[Dalaran1991]

(06-05-2018 05:29 AM)yang2287 Wrote:  

Yeah, french girls overseas.. It almost sux to be their bf at least those I have met in my travels. Just curious, are the native french girls usually quite tan in the Brittany region?

Yeah the girls here are Free. Femme Liberer . . . so i dont know why you should feel bad for the bf. a girl who leaves her bf and moves to another country (even for 6 months ) is looking for fun and you get to be the Chad. The Breton girls are celt so they are not tan, not a lot of sun here. Usually ginger hair and bland. they look more celt i guess, dont know a lot about european racial distribution
[/quote]

When you come to France and see the tapettes who are boyfriending these chicks, you will not feel bad at all for them. French guys have a huge cuck fetish. Make pyjama boy looks manly in comparison.

[LeBeau]

I wrote a data sheet specifically aimed at different scenarios around campus (such as yours). Keep in mind a lot of student groups and clubs allow grad students alongside undergrad students. This should help:

thread-26497.html

[Hazaer]

(06-05-2018 07:50 PM)LeBeau Wrote:  

I wrote a data sheet specifically aimed at different scenarios around campus (such as yours). Keep in mind a lot of student groups and clubs allow grad students alongside undergrad students. This should help:

thread-26497.html

Nice thread. Campus Clubs are a good way to force yourself to meet people. I would suggest joining as early as possible while you are still a new grad student. You would probably be the only grad student but its a start. The kind of clubs to join can be tricky. Sports clubs tend to have poor ratios even during nights out, though the quality might be good but in the other types like those SJW ones etc. the ratios can be good but the quality low. Also, join a campus club which is popular. That brings more anonymity to you. Most clubs at most australian unis are pretty empty because no one is interested and the campus culture is pretty dead. Again, post grad culture varies a lot from country to country.

On campus events can be good too as mentioned. But guest lectures seem to have mostly staff or boring post grads attending them most times but if its an interesting topic you might get lucky. Campus games are good and involve a lot of drinking on the sidelines but they mostly start drinking in their circles. You got to approach them with your own group of friends.

A common behavior that happens with new postgrads is that they spend too much time in their own lab/cubicle in the first few months of their course although their assessment is still about a year or two away. With the flexibility that comes with post grad study, structure your time to avoid being in the lab on friday/saturday nights when things are happening. Be more productive during the regular weekdays. Too many postgrads start their day late resulting in late hours spilling over into the weekend.

One more, perhaps the most important, actively start socializing with other postgrads in your office/lab from day one. Saying 'Hi' and introducing yourself is often more than enough. Then, you can find out over time which of them are married/attached/dont drink etc. Form a solid crew of even 2 or 3 people to go out on weekends and attend events (not the postgrad events but general events for students/concerts/balls etc.). Invite these guys to your residence if you are living on campus and gradually add undergrads to your circle. This will give social proof and you wont look like the creepy older student stalking undergrads. If you arent able have a small circle of postgrads to roll with, hanging out with undergrads is going to be more difficult. The issue with postgrads often is that, a lot of them become too individualistic or introverted, possibly due to not being able to fit into the right circles during their undergrad but there are a few decent guys if you are willing to meet new people. Afterall, those guys are new to the postgrad scene too and their party days are not too far back if they are straight from undergrad.

One last thing I find, if you are lucky to meet a post grad girl who is still unattached and ready to mingle, it makes it so much easier to get access to social circles. Girls usually have it easier if they want to make social circles. Hang out with her at events and make more friends. Dont try going for a relationship with her immediately like most of the other thirsty postgrad guys. Show her you are a cool dude and her social circles will become yours in due time.

[Hazaer]

(06-05-2018 05:29 AM)yang2287 Wrote:  

(06-05-2018 01:16 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Arent there other big cities in france after paris like lyon, marseille, toulouse where working professionals end up?

Yes there are other big cities like Lyon and Toulouse, that could also be good for Post grad. Grenoble and Nantes are not bad also for students as there are a lot of Erasmus. A good metric to judge a city is to check the City's Erasmus Facebook page (Insert year here). . . There you should see events, updates, parties,gala, campings for that city. If it doesnt exist, you should not move to this city for postgraduate. Erasmus students are much more open than locals, much more fun and frankly you could be on a diet of Erasmus students for all your time in Postgraduate and not miss a thing.

(06-05-2018 01:16 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Yeah, french girls overseas.. It almost sux to be their bf at least those I have met in my travels. Just curious, are the native french girls usually quite tan in the Brittany region?

Yeah the girls here are Free. Femme Liberer . . . so i dont know why you should feel bad for the bf. a girl who leaves her bf and moves to another country (even for 6 months ) is looking for fun and you get to be the Chad. The Breton girls are celt so they are not tan, not a lot of sun here. Usually ginger hair and bland. they look more celt i guess, dont know a lot about european racial distribution

Actually girls on internships are a good option for postgrads too. Most of them do it during their Masters degree. Lots from Europe here but unfortunately, the quality is nothing to write about. And the thirsty attitude of guys here does not help.

You must be meeting tons of french girls from around the country. Any difference in attitudes between the ones from the South, like Lyon, Marseille vs those in the North like your place or Lille, Strasbourg?

[yang2287]

(06-07-2018 11:34 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

You must be meeting tons of french girls from around the country. Any difference in attitudes between the ones from the South, like Lyon, Marseille vs those in the North like your place or Lille, Strasbourg?

No, i get to meet mostly Bretonne girls. Here people are not very mobile, people grow up, live, marry and die in the same city or village. Which is why you only have 1 big city above 1 million people -Paris and over 35,000 villages.

The difference i can say, people from the south are much more open (friendlier), have an accent, less catholic, etc etc . But all these are clichés and you have to take each person as a case

But generally, the rule of thumb is the farther south you go, the more mediterranean mentality you approach, the farther east you go, the more germanic mentality you approach

[Hazaer]

(06-11-2018 04:40 AM)yang2287 Wrote:  

(06-07-2018 11:34 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

You must be meeting tons of french girls from around the country. Any difference in attitudes between the ones from the South, like Lyon, Marseille vs those in the North like your place or Lille, Strasbourg?

No, i get to meet mostly Bretonne girls. Here people are not very mobile, people grow up, live, marry and die in the same city or village. Which is why you only have 1 big city above 1 million people -Paris and over 35,000 villages.

The difference i can say, people from the south are much more open (friendlier), have an accent, less catholic, etc etc . But all these are clichés and you have to take each person as a case

But generally, the rule of thumb is the farther south you go, the more mediterranean mentality you approach, the farther east you go, the more germanic mentality you approach

So, does that mean those from northern cities would be more conservative hence harder to approach than those from the south?

Any preference for interracial dating? I have heard and also seen that girls from the south tend to be more tan. Would that mean that a Mediterranean guy might be more successful in the northern cities like Nantes as opposed to Lyon for eg?

[pargan]

Did anyone here not go to college? My goal was always to make money so once I finished HS I just did my own thing. I feel like 4 years of college kind of delays the inevitable and that is why there is a lot of broke people age 22-25, I'd rather go through that at 18. Does anyone feel like it's better to not go to college or that it's better to go? Now that I'm getting in a better situation at 21 for once in my life I'm actually starting to contemplate going to college since I have a better understanding of why I would want to go and even if it doesn't work out I know I'll still be good. If I go next year I'll be starting at 22 years old, would this be to old to start college/interact with other freshman/undergrad students (mostly girls).

[Rang off the Pipe]

(06-11-2018 11:08 AM)pargan Wrote:  

Did anyone here not go to college? My goal was always to make money so once I finished HS I just did my own thing. I feel like 4 years of college kind of delays the inevitable and that is why there is a lot of broke people age 22-25, I'd rather go through that at 18. Does anyone feel like it's better to not go to college or that it's better to go? Now that I'm getting in a better situation at 21 for once in my life I'm actually starting to contemplate going to college since I have a better understanding of why I would want to go and even if it doesn't work out I know I'll still be good.

Most people shouldn't be going to college right out of high school, but it has been common for the masses of people to attend a postsecondary institution since the 1960's (in the US anyway). The problem is, a 17-18 year old fresh out of high school will very likely not have a hell of a clue what he or she wants to do with his or her life. Thus, much of the student population is only going into postsecondary education because that's what's "expected" by society, relatives, or whatever other overarching forces that are relevant.

Nowadays, many companies hire their entry-level positions through on-campus recruiting--call it the education-industrial complex. Unfortunately, your typical college student is not aware of this, which is why there is so much underemployment in the US.

The students who are aware of the on-campus recruiting game are the ones who find themselves ahead of most of their peers. Top schools such as Princeton, Stanford, MIT, and Yale have a higher proportion of students who know what they want, hence the competition at those institutions (and better opportunities).

You would be in a much better position than a lot of other people entering a college/university.

(06-11-2018 11:08 AM)pargan Wrote:  

If I go next year I'll be starting at 22 years old, would this be to old to start college/interact with other freshman/undergrad students (mostly girls).

Not at all. Just to give an example, at schools with D-1 hockey teams, there are often freshmen around your age who live in the dorms. These guys had been playing in junior leagues before starting to play at the school. No one batted an eye really. Now I'm not saying you're an athlete or will have the status or social circle of one, but it's just to offer a certain kind of scenario.

In terms of interacting with undergrads, it won't really be an issue since you will be one, even if a little older. You also have the DHV of being able to provide alcohol (assuming you live in the US) when almost no other freshmen will be able to do so. As a freshman, it's really easy to build a social circle if you happen to live in a dorm. 90% of getting girls in college is about social circles and status.