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Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training
#1

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Hi Everyone ,

It has been a few years ( I am 32 yo now) that I am stagnating with my weight and my eating habits. My weight is stable but I still do not eat well , and my sport/fitness is in and out..sometimes I ll train for 1-2 weeks then for some reasons stop and again and again.

I am not asking for a magic wand but any advice will be appreciated.

PS : I have 3 kids , and very few free hours. I can train 15/20 minutes at home in the morning , and I play football ( in US = soccer) once a week as goalkeeper.

I am 187 cm and 98/99 kilos.
My situation is far from critical , but i am naturally rather slim and want to get rid of this fat and lazy appearance.

Thanks
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#2

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Pick a day to meditate for at least 10 minutes on exactly what you want to do. Then write out a realistic plan for the next two month detailing exactly what you will do. Then do it and track it. Every week or so, if you feel your willpower draining, meditate again.
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#3

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

1) Every night before you sleep make a list of tomorrow's tasks before the next day

2) Every night before you sleep asses how you've done in all the areas of your life you work on, the two big ones being fitness and work (I assume); this lets you see when you are flagging very plainly; it will also show you specifically how you are inefficient; you'll probably find you are thrown off balance with your tasks with small and/or unexpected tasks; once you've realised that train yourself to focus when in such choppy waters

3) Try a bunch of different exercise regimes and try and figure out what works for you; most people seem to do best with mixed weight work and mixed cardio; I particularly recommend the harder videos from Shaun T's Asylum and Insanity workout. The good things with videos are you can't flag, unless you are really a slacker. IN particular I like Asylum: Strength; I was doing that recently (injured) and got to my best muscle level ever which I'd found difficult before for various reasons and I still need to try more *

3b) If you really can't get 45-60 mins per day look at the Focus T25 workout.

4) Same as above with diet; cut all he obvious shit out like sugars and processed food; try cuttin out various things like gluten and see if anything seems to make a difference

5) Get your posture checked and fix it if needed

6) Check out the supplements thread. Most are junk, but your body needs fuel: vitamins, protein, joint repair stuff etc.

7) When you are doing your exercise constantly have it in your head to push yourself; as in point 2) I rate my exercise routine each day; I constantly have it in my mind to push my self to a 7/10, which the way I rate myself is about as much as can be done

* Trying different things is key. People have bodies that work as differently as they look. You hear a lot about calories but it doesn't make a slightest bit of difference to me if I eat 500 or 4000 calories / day. When I was younger I tried weights and it didn't make much difference because I was on the wrong program and I had a really low protein intake. Most people are going to have to tweak a lot of knobs to get anywhere near the god bod. What works for me is "cardio dumbells"; mixed unpredictable cardio and lots of protein. But maybe that wouldn't be the best for you.
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#4

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (05-13-2018 12:05 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  

Hi Everyone ,
It has been a few years ( I am 32 yo now) that I am stagnating with my weight and my eating habits. My weight is stable but I still do not eat well , and my sport/fitness is in and out..sometimes I ll train for 1-2 weeks then for some reasons stop and again and again.
I am not asking for a magic wand but any advice will be appreciated.
PS : I have 3 kids , and very few free hours. I can train 15/20 minutes at home in the morning , and I play football ( in US = soccer) once a week as goalkeeper.
I am 187 cm and 98/99 kilos.
My situation is far from critical , but i am naturally rather slim and want to get rid of this fat and lazy appearance.
Thanks

I used to be incredibly motivated by women. From age 17 to 33, I would fixate on a particular girl and it would allow me to discipline myself with exercise. The eating was different... I never ate good.

Post 33, I can't fixate on any particular woman. I've lost that ability for some reason. However, I am motivated by competition. I compete with people around me and that helps.

I have a sugar addiction. If I quit for a month it goes away, but then if I have something like sweet and sour chicken... it comes right back. I've fought it my whole life and constantly lost. I eat like shit because of it. I frankly don't know what to do. At some point I will become diabetic and the struggle will become life or death. I think that that point I will be able to handle it, but my grandfather and my father have both chosen eating whatever they want over living longer. I'm very afraid of going that direction myself.
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#5

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (05-13-2018 12:05 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  

Hi Everyone ,

It has been a few years ( I am 32 yo now) that I am stagnating with my weight and my eating habits. My weight is stable but I still do not eat well , and my sport/fitness is in and out..sometimes I ll train for 1-2 weeks then for some reasons stop and again and again.

I am not asking for a magic wand but any advice will be appreciated.

PS : I have 3 kids , and very few free hours. I can train 15/20 minutes at home in the morning , and I play football ( in US = soccer) once a week as goalkeeper.

I am 187 cm and 98/99 kilos.
My situation is far from critical , but i am naturally rather slim and want to get rid of this fat and lazy appearance.

Thanks

Recommend this talk on the neural regulation of appetite. Weight loss is basically less about discipline, and more about just not eating foods that are hyper-palatable. That would be foods that combine different tastes and textures that are more palatable than naturally occurring foods. Think salty-caramel, burger, bun and ketchup etc. Salt and sweet, soft and crunchy and particularly fat and sugar together. These foods (or food combinations) are addictive and thus promote overeating. Of course it`s a test in the beginning to overcome any addiction, but my experience is that when your taste buds come back to life so to speak, meat, fish and vegetables/low GI fruits and nuts etc. will be more than tasty enough. Once you`re over the worst part you can effortlessly maintain your ideal weight with this type of (Paleo, low carb) diet, without hunger also.





We will stomp to the top with the wind in our teeth.

George L. Mallory
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#6

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Advise-wise, I would sit down with a (large) piece of paper and figure out everything you do from Monday to Sunday. Break it down by hours or minutes if you have to.

Then take a highlighter and highlight anything that has some free time. Maybe you have a 30 minute lunch break at work when it really only takes you a few minutes to eat a sandwich. Maybe you have one or two 15 minute cigarette breaks. Add up the dead time in a day and suddenly you just invented a few hours every week.

This is where it gets interesting, since I'm not sure what you want to do. I know a guy who put a pullup/dip power tower station in his office and six months later was able to do 18 consecutive dead hang pullups, and he was a very tall dude. He just did chinups all the time. If I get an office job I'll do the same thing.

It looks like you have 20 minutes figured out in the mornings, so that's good and a good start. 20 minutes is enough time to do 100 burpees and probably 100 bodyweight squats thrown in if GPP is what you want to do. You could just smash out a ton of pushups.

If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less, or fast one day per week. There's not many ways around that.

Freeletics might be a good fun program to try if you just don't have a lot of equipment around.
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#7

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

I'm really busy right now to working 12 hour shifts so I get it eating healthy is time consuming.

My cooking has been looking more like 1 lbs grass fed beef and those boil in bag brown rice things. Then I eat one meal that's either fish or eggs for the last bit of protein.
Ground Beef cooks in a pan really quickly.
Fish takes even less time to cook.
Rice takes 10 minutes.
Kale and parsley don't need to be cooked but take time to chew...
Black beans take zero time

Eating healthy while busy is all about preparation the night before. Prepare your juicing/smoothy/protein shake the night before. Cook your lunch /dinner the night before or a day ahead. Throw some greens in a zip lock bag to take to work with your tubberware.
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#8

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Crank out 4 sets of 50 push ups (or start at 20 and work up over time)

3 times a week.

Its amazing the benefits this 20 min routine will give you.
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#9

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

"Friction" is your enemy... Remove everything that can give friction and make sure that everything goes smooth (the lube)...

Like what SteezeySteve says, mail prep, make sure that everything is ready so you don't have to make any decision. You are hungry? You can't find any unhealthy snacks in your house cause you removed them (removed the friction) and you take out your healthy snack you've prepared (lube).

Same for working out... Remove the activities you do when you should work out and make sure that you can work out. Having kids can be an excuse OR it can be a blessing. Take them to the playground and exercise there while they are playing:
https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/playground-workout/
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/...out-video/

Or play with your kids and exercise while playing:
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/...equipment/

Or find a sport you and your kids enjoy and do that...:

So the most important thing you can do is see what causes friction and anticipate for the friction or even better remove the friction. And make sure that what you want to do goes smooth by preparing for it as best as you can.

Good luck!
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#10

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Many thanks. I ve read all comments and suggestions and it was great.
I actually will do a "youtube" video every day. this one has always had beneficial effects on me for the 1/2 or max 3 weeks i could keep up with. I even at some point did it with the same pace than the guy himself in the video ( except for push ups , I cant do as fast as him) - so I was combining with an evening little sessions of 3x10 pushups. After 3 weeks I already had comments on people saying that i look stronger ( even though it s not my intention )

I share this video in case someone is interested (you can leave me your comments)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOPJhZKa40g

PS : For nutrition and food I am more dubious. It looks like I am totally addict , and i can't cut the crap. I will watch the conference and come back for more news. I guess I will force my wife to prepare my meal in advance. Off all bad stuff , I will only keep the darkest chocolate ever.
PS 2 : I love to work out with babies and kids and do it almost every day.
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#11

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Here's what I do every time I fall off the fitness "wagon," and in fact, it's a regular component of my training mentality. It has also had a profound impact for other guys I've trained who beforehand didn't have a workout routine at all and were struggling to start.

The trick is to set the bar as low as possible. Remind yourself that the long-term habit of being in the gym or exercising every single day, or every other day, is far more important than any one workout session.

So what you do is commit to nothing more than showing up. "Showing up" might mean driving to the gym and walking inside, or it might just mean strapping on your running shoes and heading outside of your house - and as they say, "showing up is half the battle." Once you get there, if you don't feel like working out or only have a set or two in you, give yourself permission to turn around and go home - and you must really give yourself this permission or the trick will lose its power.

By doing this, you'll constantly be there, day in and day out, and even if from time to time you don't put in the work, especially in the beginning, 95% of the time you will. And the more you are there the more you'll naturally intensify and build on your workouts.

I still fall off plenty, often for weeks at a time, but I've managed to stay a pretty strong and powerful guy who still gets compliments all the time about his physique by using this trick every time I catch myself slipping. Every time I realize I've been avoiding the gym, I go back to this default mindset, and the power it has can't be emphasized enough.

The basic psychology can also be tailored to discipline yourself in other areas of life, like work, for instance.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#12

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

^^ top advice there from Beyond Borders.

I read about a very similar method from an old school EE weightlifting coach. He'd ask a lifter if he says he's really tired. "Do you need to go to hospital? No? Come to training and just observe the techniques. <later at training> Do you need to go to hospital? No? Practice with just a stick then." Gradually, it's with an empty bar (20kg), then 40kg, 60kg etc. and before you know it, the lifter is hitting personal bests in training.

I do something very similar whether training at home or going to the gym. If I'm at home and feel low energy, I'd do something really simple, like set the timer on for a few minutes and move around to do some shadow boxing, or do an easy set of BW exercise. Once I get going, I actually start to feel better and often will do a terrific workout.

20 mins in the morning is enough as long as you make it a habit of doing so every morning. Start with something really easy like just doing rope skipping, or whatever you like to do.
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#13

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

I had to make time where there was none, i decided to get up at 430am and train till 6am. Yes i have kids. If there is a will there is a way. Life is about choices. When you decide it’s time it will be. I’m 5’9” 205lbs. I’m in my 50’s, I’ve been lifting heavy shit for 10 years. I’ve traded fat for lean mass, 32lbs of it if the calipers and tracking scale is to be believed.

You can do it, it’s in you.
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#14

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Take advantage if your kids energy, integrate playtime with you working out.

The good and bad is you reaching out for help, don't let this sate your desire to improve yourself after getting attention, it's a trap many fall into.

As mentioned earlier set daily goals you can do in pieces, 200 pushups a day, can be broken down easily with 50 in the morning, 50 during a break before lunch 50 after and then 50 when you get home. Heck get your kids to do the last set at home with you.
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#15

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (06-29-2018 10:40 PM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

^^ top advice there from Beyond Borders.

I read about a very similar method from an old school EE weightlifting coach. He'd ask a lifter if he says he's really tired. "Do you need to go to hospital? No? Come to training and just observe the techniques. <later at training> Do you need to go to hospital? No? Practice with just a stick then." Gradually, it's with an empty bar (20kg), then 40kg, 60kg etc. and before you know it, the lifter is hitting personal bests in training.

I do something very similar whether training at home or going to the gym. If I'm at home and feel low energy, I'd do something really simple, like set the timer on for a few minutes and move around to do some shadow boxing, or do an easy set of BW exercise. Once I get going, I actually start to feel better and often will do a terrific workout.

20 mins in the morning is enough as long as you make it a habit of doing so every morning. Start with something really easy like just doing rope skipping, or whatever you like to do.

I like Terry Crews' take on this too - "treat the gym like a spa."

Skip to 3:08.





Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#16

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (05-17-2018 05:18 AM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  

Many thanks. I ve read all comments and suggestions and it was great.
I actually will do a "youtube" video every day. this one has always had beneficial effects on me for the 1/2 or max 3 weeks i could keep up with. I even at some point did it with the same pace than the guy himself in the video ( except for push ups , I cant do as fast as him) - so I was combining with an evening little sessions of 3x10 pushups. After 3 weeks I already had comments on people saying that i look stronger ( even though it s not my intention )

I share this video in case someone is interested (you can leave me your comments)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOPJhZKa40g

PS : For nutrition and food I am more dubious. It looks like I am totally addict , and i can't cut the crap. I will watch the conference and come back for more news. I guess I will force my wife to prepare my meal in advance. Off all bad stuff , I will only keep the darkest chocolate ever.
PS 2 : I love to work out with babies and kids and do it almost every day.

A lot of addictions can be the result of a comfort eating style of self medicating that comes from childhood stuff that has been suppressed.

I have had bad experiences with psychologists/therapists in the past, but last year started seeing a Jungian therapist and a side effect of going back and looking at issues from way in the past is that some of my bad habits have just slid away by themselves, a complete surprise to me.

Especially eating. There were some things that I thought I could never give up, or even cut back on, but somehow, in addressing things that were so far in the past they weren't even in my conscious memory, I have effortlessly found myself turning less to certain foods to feel better.

This is kind of oblique advice. It is not cut and dried workout/discipline advice, and I doubt it would work if you just went to a therapist in order to change habits, but if you try all the other stuff and it doesn't work, it might be worth a shot to see if the habits you can't seem to lose come from deeper issues.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
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#17

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

A little message of hope
Thanks to the help of this forum and one forumer in particular (he will recognize himself) I have managed to eat well for 20 days using a keto diet with only 1 day of carbs after 15 days of no carbs.
(no sugar obviously too)

I have lost 5 kilos in that period but more importantly i have gained discipline and pleasure to eat healthy things and lost the addiction for sugar/crap food

This diet is now on a break due to family meetings etc but after new year will start again.

So to everyone reading this , it is very possible. you have to be very strong mentally and reject the bad food. After some time your body will thank you and send you positive messages of health.
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#18

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

I've found three things that work particularly well on the diet...

1. Prepare your meals for the entire week on a single day ahead of time. This one was super time efficient, took me an hour or two on a Sunday afternoon and I had lunch and dinner for the week. It works in several ways for me, the first is having the meal there already prepared stops you from going out for lunch/dinner which invariably means hollow calories will follow and sometimes just plain disasters. Secondly it stops you making the easy meals for dinner when you're tired after work which also happen to generally be the unhealthy ones. Added bonuses of course that it saves a ton of money and time during the week.

2. Intermittent fasting. Cutting out the breakfast meal and I don't even notice it, but that's a stack of calories, often bad ones, straight up removed. Might just be me but from reading it's a pretty normal response but I find myself eating far less in the other meals as well, I'm sure there is science to that beyond my anecdotes. Again, added bonus of saving money and time, that extra 20-40 minutes sleep in the morning is godly.

3. Drink nothing but water. This one is huge, drinks are the sneaky calorie train. Things like caffeine and sugar I find stupidly addictive in these, caffeine in particular creates a dependence where you need it. I can't express how much more energy I have without caffeine involved in my life and yes, it's a bitch to kick it, takes a couple of weeks at least and it's hard work during that time if you're used to caffeine to start the day.

On the exercise front...

1. Find something you genuinely enjoy doing, gyms aren't for everyone, for some it's triathlons or competitive sport or mma. Whatever it is if you enjoy it, you're more likely to stick with it.

2. Routine. For me gym training has always worked when it becomes a routine, part of my day where I feel like something is missing if I skip out, this can be hard but finding a time slot and making it that time slot helps.

3. Gym Buddies - 1 will do, a couple is better, you're just far more likely to go if it's a social activity as well, better yet you don't want to let the team down by no showing. This is basically a social form of accountability.

4. Rewards - This works on both the things but I work best with a carrot at the end of the tunnel. I pick something that is firmly on my "want" list, things that I probably shouldn't buy and certainly don't need and I basically put a price to them and if I hit the gym/meal plan for that price, say a month, then I get that reward and replace it with something else to challenge myself.
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#19

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

My morning excercise routine is about 25 minutes, but most of this is yoga poses. Warmup part alone is adequate as full workout: 60 pushups in about 1 minute, 60 bodyweight squat jumps in about 2 minutes, 60 hindu squats in about 2 minutes, no rest break, so 5 minutes total. (Note that the 60 squat jumps is quite demanding, be careful if weak heart.)

Second the recommendations for intermittent fasting: eat once a day, or eat all meals within a limited period, like 5 hours.
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#20

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (05-13-2018 12:05 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  

I can train 15/20 minutes at home in the morning , and I play football ( in US = soccer) once a week as goalkeeper. I am naturally rather slim and want to get rid of this fat and lazy appearance.

Then do.
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#21

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

That's pretty tricky.

I think you need to be disciplined in your diet. (3 meals a day at regular times and no snacking)
You should be motivated to eat clean because you have 3 kids in the house and they should definitely be eating clean as they are growing.
When you change your diet make sure to be disciplined for the first few days then the rest should be easy.

When it comes to loosing weight I think diet is more important than exercise. Make sure you have a regular schedule for your exercise. This will make it easier to be consistent. If you are struggling to find time, why not exercise with ur kids (I don't know how old they are but even taking a pram through the park and walking is good exercise). Another tip is to have a training buddy who can keep you on point. Try to make exercise fun and something you look forward to instead of a chore.

good luck 2019 new year i hope u reach your weight/diet goal.
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#22

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Quote: (12-30-2018 09:40 PM)germanico Wrote:  

Quote: (05-13-2018 12:05 PM)Polniy_Sostav Wrote:  

I can train 15/20 minutes at home in the morning , and I play football ( in US = soccer) once a week as goalkeeper. I am naturally rather slim and want to get rid of this fat and lazy appearance.

Then do.

I am doing it.
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#23

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Back around June I came upon the thread about Time Restricted Eating here: thread-66519.html and have been implementing it ever since.

I have not changed my exercise habits very much, just increased a little of what I already do. I've already been 'outed' as one of the few distance runners on RVF but I do body weight exercises/calisthenics regularly and will be returning to BJJ soon.

Since starting the TRE I am consistently 6-8lbs less than where I was before (sometimes as much as 10), all without really changing anything in my diet. I manage to fit all my eating into an 11-hour window, usually a little less. I don't know if it's merely psychological but I feel leaner. I'm also able to endure a little feeling of hunger and it is satisfying to know I am not caving and giving in to impulsive snacking - this gets easier as time goes by. When I usually would relax with a beer on a summer evening, I grab a Perrier or similar carbonated water. I take 2 'cheat' days per week, which nicely coincides with the weekend.

It may not be for everyone but I found this very easy to apply for a good result with relatively little sacrifice.

"Intellectuals are naturally attracted by the idea of a planned society, in the belief that they will be in charge of it" -Roger Scruton
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#24

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

One useful tip for losing body fat is to not bother counting calories but do take time to count how many carbs you are eating. Try to ballpark 100 grams of carbs per training day and try not to go too far over. T-nation has an article called the 100 carb cure and I suggest you check it out. This is enough to support training without feeling deprived.

That's four slices of bread (you can make two sandwiches), or 3/4 cups of dry rice. You can look at the nutrition facts on the bag of pasta noodles to figure out what those should be. The rest of your meals should be nothing but meat, cheese, and eggs. I prefer 3-4 medium sized steaks (or two larger steaks) and sometimes eggs.

If you eat two sandwiches that are about 400 calories apiece and a few steaks (broil five minutes each side) then all your bases are covered. Total cooking time for the day takes less than half an hour. You're not likely to exceed 2400 calories or so which for many is a cutting diet.

If you cheat and binge at the local pizza restaurant, then skip one meal the next day.

It's not complicated and it's not antisocial either.

I've been gradually losing about four or five pounds of fat per month since around November (strength is going up) even through the holidays and by summertime will be the leanest I've ever been. In terms of a slow cut this has been very pleasant.

On any 'off' days you can just eat one or two meals of meat and eggs in the afternoon and it should be fine. If you work out the calories you'll be surprised at how few it takes, relatively speaking, to feel satiated when animal protein intake is prioritized. Use seasonings if you get bored easily.
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#25

Incapable to discipline myself with eating and (less important) training

Can you remove any and all junk food from your home? I'm also not disciplined so I don't keep tasty shit at home. It helps a ton.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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