[semibaron]

I don't know if it's just me, but basically any time spent in front of an artificial computer screen (laptop / smartphone) makes me feel bad. It drains a lot of my good mood, concentration, confidence and even libido. It's like all the good dopamine is being sucked away.

For my current travels through Latin America, I made the decision to leave my MacBook at home. So far, this was a very good food decision. No unnecessarily
Searching for things online -> less screen time -> feel better.

Not to have a Laptop with me is already a good thing. However, I'm playing with the idea to turn off the smartphone as well. There are mainly 2 reasons for this:
1. I feel like shit after having spent time in front of my smartphone. It's well known that smartphones are addictive (I mean, just look around you). Especially those infrequent WhatsApp messages give unnatural attention and mess with the dopamine system.
2. At least here in Lima, it's sometimes a long back and forth of texting until to meet a girl. I want to streamline this and stop being a slave of WhatsApp.

So, my question: Has anyone of you gone full or partial offline, especially with the smartphone? Is this even practical in real life? I mean, not to have a phone has profound an impact on dating dynamics. Do you feel better and is it worth it?

Ok, this upcoming Monday I'm going to Guadalajara, Mexico and I'm eyeing with a few different approaches:

1. No phone at all:
The hardcore variant. This would mean to turn off the smartphone and only turn it on once a week or so to keep in contact with friends, family and check business. When meeting a new girl, I wouldn't ask for her phone number, but for another date at a fixed time. For example "tomorrow evening at 8pm in front of the church". Is this too crazy?

2. Local SIM card:
The basic move with a slight variation. Get the local SIM card for mobile internet and calls, but don't link it to WhatsApp. When dating girls, I will ask for her phone number and just do calls. No WhatsApp / text bullshit. This variant might have a couple of advantages and disadvantages. First, I can still communicate with the girl and am not full offline. Furthermore, calls are quick and there isn't as much bullshit as with text. This gives me more power. On the other hand, what to do when being on a date and for example another girl calls? There might be serious timing issues. Furthermore, I still might get the itch to google some crap or check emails on the go.

3. A dumb phone:
Swapping my ultra high end smartphone for an old SMS and call only phone. Obviously don't text with it, but stick to calls. Might be the best of both worlds.

Would like to hear your opinions. Also, to the guys who might think this is all bullshit: Turn off your laptop and smartphone for 3 days and you will notice a big difference. Then go back to the screen and you will feel like shit and wonder what a shitty "drug" this is.

[Tiger Man]

(04-24-2018 10:30 PM)semibaron Wrote:  

I don't know if it's just me, but basically any time spent in front of an artificial computer screen (laptop / smartphone) makes me feel bad. It drains a lot of my good mood, concentration, confidence and even libido. It's like all the good dopamine is being sucked away.

For my current travels through Latin America, I made the decision to leave my MacBook at home. So far, this was a very good food decision. No unnecessarily
Searching for things online -> less screen time -> feel better.

Not to have a Laptop with me is already a good thing. However, I'm playing with the idea to turn off the smartphone as well. There are mainly 2 reasons for this:
1. I feel like shit after having spent time in front of my smartphone. It's well known that smartphones are addictive (I mean, just look around you). Especially those infrequent WhatsApp messages give unnatural attention and mess with the dopamine system.
2. At least here in Lima, it's sometimes a long back and forth of texting until to meet a girl. I want to streamline this and stop being a slave of WhatsApp.

So, my question: Has anyone of you gone full or partial offline, especially with the smartphone? Is this even practical in real life? I mean, not to have a phone has profound an impact on dating dynamics. Do you feel better and is it worth it?

Ok, this upcoming Monday I'm going to Guadalajara, Mexico and I'm eyeing with a few different approaches:

1. No phone at all:
The hardcore variant. This would mean to turn off the smartphone and only turn it on once a week or so to keep in contact with friends, family and check business. When meeting a new girl, I wouldn't ask for her phone number, but for another date at a fixed time. For example "tomorrow evening at 8pm in front of the church". Is this too crazy?

2. Local SIM card:
The basic move with a slight variation. Get the local SIM card for mobile internet and calls, but don't link it to WhatsApp. When dating girls, I will ask for her phone number and just do calls. No WhatsApp / text bullshit. This variant might have a couple of advantages and disadvantages. First, I can still communicate with the girl and am not full offline. Furthermore, calls are quick and there isn't as much bullshit as with text. This gives me more power. On the other hand, what to do when being on a date and for example another girl calls? There might be serious timing issues. Furthermore, I still might get the itch to google some crap or check emails on the go.

3. A dumb phone:
Swapping my ultra high end smartphone for an old SMS and call only phone. Obviously don't text with it, but stick to calls. Might be the best of both worlds.

Would like to hear your opinions. Also, to the guys who might think this is all bullshit: Turn off your laptop and smartphone for 3 days and you will notice a big difference. Then go back to the screen and you will feel like shit and wonder what a shitty "drug" this is.

You're right. About it all. But, sadly, these modern "amenities" are a fact of life for almost anyone in a developed country.

I would go with a dumb phone first, and then try to transition to no phone (if you want to go hardcore). I used a flip phone for a few weeks in the States once, and the worst that happened was a few people thought I was a drug dealer.

Fair warning though, I have found that this kind of stuff can seriously throw some women off. About a year ago, I decided to totally delete my social media. I had my reasons. This girl I was seeing at the time flipped out. She thought I must be married or something like that. It ended up as a constant point of contention that I had done it and I ended up cutting her loose. I have found, since then, that there is a sizeable portion of women who simply "don't understand why you aren't on FB/IG/whatever". I assume you might see a similar response if you go low-low-tech.

Practically speaking, I found cutting tech cords has had nothing but a positive impact on my (non-woman-related) life. If you ever need a phone in an emergency, literally every other person has one. And your social skills will naturally improve as you are forced to deal with real people, in real life. Bonus point for no cell phone - supposedly it increases your sperm count and motility.

[MongolianAbroad]

Not bringing your laptop with you on a trip abroad?

You're a brave man, OP.

[JekyllAndHyde]

I'm not really a masochist as I didn't find it a lot of fun to scramble for paper-based maps when my last phone was destroyed and I did not have a phone for almost a week.

[semibaron]

(04-25-2018 03:45 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

Not bringing your laptop with you on a trip abroad?

You're a brave man, OP.

Yeah, I'm abroad for 5 months.

[Cr33pin]

(04-24-2018 10:30 PM)semibaron Wrote:  

I don't know if it's just me, but basically any time spent in front of an artificial computer screen (laptop / smartphone) makes me feel bad. It drains a lot of my good mood, concentration, confidence and even libido. It's like all the good dopamine is being sucked away.

For my current travels through Latin America, I made the decision to leave my MacBook at home. So far, this was a very good food decision. No unnecessarily
Searching for things online -> less screen time -> feel better.

Not to have a Laptop with me is already a good thing. However, I'm playing with the idea to turn off the smartphone as well. There are mainly 2 reasons for this:
1. I feel like shit after having spent time in front of my smartphone. It's well known that smartphones are addictive (I mean, just look around you). Especially those infrequent WhatsApp messages give unnatural attention and mess with the dopamine system.
2. At least here in Lima, it's sometimes a long back and forth of texting until to meet a girl. I want to streamline this and stop being a slave of WhatsApp.

So, my question: Has anyone of you gone full or partial offline, especially with the smartphone? Is this even practical in real life? I mean, not to have a phone has profound an impact on dating dynamics. Do you feel better and is it worth it?

Ok, this upcoming Monday I'm going to Guadalajara, Mexico and I'm eyeing with a few different approaches:

1. No phone at all:
The hardcore variant. This would mean to turn off the smartphone and only turn it on once a week or so to keep in contact with friends, family and check business. When meeting a new girl, I wouldn't ask for her phone number, but for another date at a fixed time. For example "tomorrow evening at 8pm in front of the church". Is this too crazy?

2. Local SIM card:
The basic move with a slight variation. Get the local SIM card for mobile internet and calls, but don't link it to WhatsApp. When dating girls, I will ask for her phone number and just do calls. No WhatsApp / text bullshit. This variant might have a couple of advantages and disadvantages. First, I can still communicate with the girl and am not full offline. Furthermore, calls are quick and there isn't as much bullshit as with text. This gives me more power. On the other hand, what to do when being on a date and for example another girl calls? There might be serious timing issues. Furthermore, I still might get the itch to google some crap or check emails on the go.

3. A dumb phone:
Swapping my ultra high end smartphone for an old SMS and call only phone. Obviously don't text with it, but stick to calls. Might be the best of both worlds.

Would like to hear your opinions. Also, to the guys who might think this is all bullshit: Turn off your laptop and smartphone for 3 days and you will notice a big difference. Then go back to the screen and you will feel like shit and wonder what a shitty "drug" this is.

[zoom]

(04-24-2018 10:30 PM)semibaron Wrote:  

When meeting a new girl, I wouldn't ask for her phone number, but for another date at a fixed time. For example "tomorrow evening at 8pm in front of the church". Is this too crazy?

^^ That's probably a little too crazy. I would expect a lot of flakes.


OP we think alike.

If I am going to stay in a country for a least a month, then I have considered just getting a burnerphone with a local simcard with no internet access. That way I can use it for calls only.

I can keep my regular smartphone to communicate with family back home.

My main reason for doing this is because I don't like whatsapp and I would rather call girls than text them.

Keep us updated on how it goes on your next trip.

[semibaron]

So, I bought this "next G" dumb phone for $10 today.

Will post an update every once a while as soon as I'm in Mexico.

[monsquid]

Quitting FB and all social media has definitely removed one comms medium I had for game. But the non game benefits far outweigh the lay or two I might have gotten had I maintained it. It is tough though and you gotta make a decision that works best for you.

Last year I traveled without a laptop and it was great. It's liberating as you don't have to manage an expensive and heavy piece of gear. Also it forces you to be more present in the moment and enjoy the world around you.

I too am tempted to go without a smartphone. I recently bought a new phone that I'm loathe to let go of, but I'm thinking that when it's time to upgrade this phone in a year or two I will go with a dumb phone (usually called a feature phone.)

A few years ago I used to work with a guy who didn't even have a dumb phone! The only way to reach him was via his email that was mostly checked by his wife. He was traveling overseas for work one time and didn't get an email in time. As a result he ended up spending a few extra days in Guam because of missed travel documents from the email. The boss was mad but couldn't do anything about it, he didn't seem to give a fuck though and carried on. He still lives like to this day and I admire him.

[jamaicabound]

I've always justified my time spent online as...but it makes me money. Almost everything I do online makes me money, even social media. I don't have a real FB account or even communicate with real life friends online, any social profiles I have are for businesses or affiliate stuff.

That said I do catch myself falling for this whole dopamine rush thing watching worldstar videos or seeing how many views a piece of content I created got, its definitey a bad thing and I can totally understand all the scares about how its rewiring our brains and everything.

Its really fucked up that you can't go out in public without everyone being glued to their phones even if they are out with friends or out doing something social.

It always amazes me how we lived before phones, even something as simple as meeting someone in a crowded space, both parties need to be on time and have a pre-arranged place to meet, now its easy just call or text and talk as you find them.

I can totally understand leaving the laptop at home. I'd keep the phone just excercise self control, heck I'm sure there's even an app for that

One kind of interesting memory that's going to be lost forever is getting lost and having little adventures. I know getting lost is a pain in the ass, it sucks, but at the same time a lot of good childhood memories and stuff are family trips where we got lost or had some other shit happen, sometimes you discover a new restaurant, new place, etc. I think that element of life is going to be lost forever with GPS.

Heck even just 5 or 7 years ago before all the places I visited had good wifi I would do some research before a trip and then just kind of stumble my way through finding places to eat or go. I didn't have wifi in many of the locations I visited so if I needed to know something I'd ask someone or ask a local. Now with internet in the palms of our hand there's no need to connect with locals or talk to fellow tourists. Technology does great stuff but it also sucks in some ways

[JackinMelbourne]

I'm struggling with this hard guys. Not addicted to drugs, not addicted to booze, not addicted to anything really but this shit has me *hooked*. I've spent way too much time today even just on this forum. I have some time off and have cleared my calendar for a bit to to unwind... but still, the net sucks me in even with decent hobbies and plenty of other stuff up my sleeve... it just sucks you in.

When I'm busy, the net is basically unwind time but really... it is not. It's a fucking addiction and any excuse is just that. An excuse for the fact that it's an addiction...

[SteezeySteve]

Jamaica the meeting up without a phone thing is interesting. I've set up a date one time like that because I didn't have my phone on me. It was pretty cool and is a good romantic move. Would do it again.

Girl was impressed /interested because of that alone and it was pretty cool. Fun old-school moment for both of us.

If it's close to your house or you don't mind d being at the spot anyways there's nothing wrong with it.

[Georges89]

I definitely resonate with this guys.

Working in an office before meant that I was always in front of a computer.

Nowadays I'm freelancing, and its the same thing, still in front of a screen, although its easier to lose track as I have no bosses or colleagues around me.

It's virtually impossible not to be online these days. Although it does depend on your job. Most but not all jobs that don't require a computer tend to be lower paid jobs.

[ActaNonVerba]

This thread is very much on point and I think it's a good thing that it's being addressed.

I feel that we are throwing away our days by spending too much time behind a screen. I also notice that it takes away my happiness. It is very important to find the right balance. I advise everyone to sometimes force yourself to not be involved with social media for at least a day. You immediately notice a difference.

[Yeti]

Relevant: The benefits of disconnecting from the Internet at home.

[semibaron]

(05-01-2018 08:51 PM)Yeti Wrote:  

Relevant: The benefits of disconnecting from the Internet at home.

Good writeup. Exactly what this thread is about. To disconnect at home is a point I've to work on.

The last 3 days, I've been 100% disconnected and it felt great. Today, unfortunately, I had to spend a lot of time in front of my screen over some Airbnb issues. Right now I feel like shit when compared to the glorious days before. So, here I am, giving you a short update:

It's strange, but on the streets of Guadalajara are almost no taxis. I asked a few locals and they told me most taxi drivers switched to Uber. This means without a smartphone and mobile data, there is no mobility. That's a deal breaker for me as I don't want to be stuck.

Instead of the dumb phone, I now use my smartphone with a Mexican call, text and data SIM. In order to reduce time spent in front of the screen, I took some measures:
- gave the Mexican phone number to family and friends and deleted all messengers
- the data plan includes a maximum of 300mb, so it's a scarce resource
- prohibited mobile data access for all apps but Uber and Google Translate through system settings

I'm a bit on the fence regarding Google maps (with offline maps). It's great to have it around, especially when being new a city. On the other hand, it does rob me the discovering experience. Will probably use it for a week or so until I feel comfortable and then get rid of it.

[YoungBlade]

There's a documentary of a man living in 10th century conditions alone for 240 days. There was an english subtitled version just a little while ago, but it seems youtube has taken it down.

Note his mental health deteriorates from loneliness, but is strengthened by lack of electronics. Afterwards he does not go back to modern life 100%. Very interesting. I'm sure his mellowed out conversational style, different from his modern information overload style before the experiment, adds some mystery to him when he games women.

[Fortis]

You can find a compromise between having the tech and not using it. Whenever I look at my phone too much I find that I'm "drained" just like you.

I set time blocks on an egg timer and I do not look at my phone during those blocks.

Also, at work, I put my phone in my desk drawer and put it on silent. If there really is some crazy emergency that happens, the people who need me will come find me.

These two things have increased my work output tremendously. I feel like my thoughts are clearer and I'm more "interested" in reading and writing.

[Suits]

(04-30-2018 09:43 AM)SteezeySteve Wrote:  

Jamaica the meeting up without a phone thing is interesting. I've set up a date one time like that because I didn't have my phone on me. It was pretty cool and is a good romantic move. Would do it again.

There's also the advantage that if you don't have a phone on you, a girl can't steal it because she wants your number, but is afraid to just ask for it.

[Bushido]

Honestly in this day and age, the only way I think no phone/burner phone would work is if you have a solid LTR going who you live with. I know a guy like that but he's married and his wife gets it.

That or just accept that your sex life will take a huge hit without a working smartphone and perhaps only bang girls from bars the same day.

Barring these extremes you're simply going to need to limit it. Go out and about in the day without the phone if you are hopelessly addicted. I've definitely been there.

[Tiger Man]

A few more thoughts.

I have found that having no phone or limited phone service (in my case, due to not knowing that I was buying a prepaid SIM card on the worst network in the country) can lower flaking. I get where Bushido is coming from in saying that your sex life will take a massive hit. There is certainly a segment of girls that will next you for having a setup like this. However, I have found that girls "pre-exclude" themselves more readily if you tell them you might be out of reach around date time. That is, they either go "no problem, I'll be there at six" (and they actually show) or they say "that's not going to work for me". I think, in the later case, those are girls who had a high likelihood of flaking anyway. So, I figure it has saved me a lot of time and energy.

There is a way to use a laptop (I assume few people are using desktops these days unless for a specific design or gaming purpose) in such a way that limits many of the negative issues. First, in many modern, modular laptops, you can remove the WIFI card completely. Now, you have a very high-end and expensive typewriter. If you draft business or legal documents, are a writer, or require a dedicated "creation space" with no distractions, this is great. Head over to a coffee shop and actually get some work done for once. Second, for those that work from home, call up your ISP and request a wired-only modem/router. Of course, you can buy these yourself off of Amazon or Newegg. That way, you will have no WIFI at your place. Put the router in your home office or another bedroom and plug a short ethernet cord in to it. That's your online space. Set up Pomodoro or some other system in which you only go in that room and online for certain periods of the day. Third, you can obviously install third-party apps that will block things like social media from your browsers. The effectiveness varies by OS. I have found the most effective way of doing this (on phones and laptop) is to enter a password or PIN that I can't possibly remember - something totally random. If you want to get back on FB or something, you literally have to reinstall the OS. This also would probably work very well for the guys over on the NoFap thread. I know this seems extreme, but, as I said before, I have noticed serious benefits related to everything from sleep to mood to social interactions with women.

One final thought for the guys who have dumped or are thinking of dumping social media. If you are worried about it affecting your game and you have even the least bit of photography skill, I have a suggestion. Throw together your best shots and run them over to a production company to have a portfolio book made. I had mine done in Canada for about $120, and it is very well done. Now, whenever I have a girl ask me why I'm not on social media (which was becoming a recurring issue), I have a canned story about how, even when I made my profiles private, people were always "stealing my photos". Of course, the conversation pivots to what kind of photography I'm in to. Depending on my read of the situation (or in your case, your read), I will either invite the girl to come look at my portfolio (at my place, just around the corner) or I will show it to her (wherever we are, if I have it with me). I have found that if you have an interesting and credible story, you can short circuit the concerns. I suppose this would work if you were a writer (you could say people were scraping your work) or any other type of creative person.

Sorry for the long post. I hope some of these suggestions prove helpful.