So, I can have a decent conversation with a girl, but it usually doesn't go past me asking random, mundane questions. I don't know how to escalate and get "flirty" with a girl, I also don't know how to ask a girl for her number without coming across as awkard or weird. Basically, I'm wondering how to ask for a number naturally; just for some side info, I've been encountering a lot of shy, silent types in my age group(presumably, also rather insecure)and I kind of want to take advantage of that. I hear some guys saying how younger guys don't know how good they have it with younger women, and I agree.
Flirting/Talking with girls and how to ask for their numbers
It's going to come across as awkward and weird if you're just asking questions, and it's good that you have the calibration to realize that. That tells me you'll be able to use what I'm about to give you.
I break down a successful approach into three components: the pre-approach, the approach, and the post-approach follow up. Here's what I do (primarily with women in the 18-24 range. I'm 22 mind you).
Pre-Approach:
Engage with the eyes first. Depending on your overall vibe you can go about this one of two ways: fun and flirty, or dark and seductive. Generally, most younger guys I've seen do better with the first.
How do you do this? Look her right in the eyes with a shit-eating grin on your face, and let your eyes crinkle just a little bit. This immediately communicates you as friendly and gets your foot in the door. This look is also non-threatening to women, unlike the dark and seductive.
After you've smiled at her, see if she smiles back. If she smiles back and her body is facing you (her cluing you to approach), you're in. Move in immediately. You can do one of two things.
First, you can approach her, which is standard protocol around here and works best when the women looks like she's going somewhere else.
However, if you're in a bar or similar venue, you can do something silly like stick your tongue out, or make a funny face at her (I personally like to stick my tongue out). Then you can motion to her to come over to you. I've found that my conversion rate on girls that come over to me is almost 3x as high as ones I approach myself.
Once you've approached her, you've gotta avoid turning it into an interview.
The Approach
Find an excuse to touch her as quickly as possible in a light and playful way. One I really like to use is I'll look at her hair admiringly, and make some offhand comment about it, and then I'll touch it gently. Usually I'll follow that up by brushing it behind her ear later on. By touching her you're coming across as flirty, and subliminally communicating that you want her, and aren't afraid to take some risks.
As for the questions, I've always hated that whole song and dance. It's great to have a list of questions as a newbie, but asking those one after the other comes across as extremely robotic.
I usually go about it by joking about something going on around us or making an observation. If she's really interested, she will help carry the conversation as opposed to me just doing 90% of the talking. If she's doing more of the talking than you, you're in business. This is one part of game I'm really not good at explaining because this has always been natural to me.
Anyway, after talking to her for 15-20 minutes, you want to get her number and bail. Tell her you have to run, but would love to keep the conversation going otherwise. Get the digits and run (unless you can pull a no-date bang, which I don't convert regularly enough to give advice on).
Post approach:
Call her a few days later and then reference something you said during the conversation as a joke, and listen if she laughs. That's usually a good sign that's she attracted to you.
Ask her what her schedule is like over the next few days, pick a day that she's free and works for you. Make a definite date, with a time.
I lost steam on this one. I admit, I'm pretty drunk right now. PM me if you have questions.
I break down a successful approach into three components: the pre-approach, the approach, and the post-approach follow up. Here's what I do (primarily with women in the 18-24 range. I'm 22 mind you).
Pre-Approach:
Engage with the eyes first. Depending on your overall vibe you can go about this one of two ways: fun and flirty, or dark and seductive. Generally, most younger guys I've seen do better with the first.
How do you do this? Look her right in the eyes with a shit-eating grin on your face, and let your eyes crinkle just a little bit. This immediately communicates you as friendly and gets your foot in the door. This look is also non-threatening to women, unlike the dark and seductive.
After you've smiled at her, see if she smiles back. If she smiles back and her body is facing you (her cluing you to approach), you're in. Move in immediately. You can do one of two things.
First, you can approach her, which is standard protocol around here and works best when the women looks like she's going somewhere else.
However, if you're in a bar or similar venue, you can do something silly like stick your tongue out, or make a funny face at her (I personally like to stick my tongue out). Then you can motion to her to come over to you. I've found that my conversion rate on girls that come over to me is almost 3x as high as ones I approach myself.
Once you've approached her, you've gotta avoid turning it into an interview.
The Approach
Find an excuse to touch her as quickly as possible in a light and playful way. One I really like to use is I'll look at her hair admiringly, and make some offhand comment about it, and then I'll touch it gently. Usually I'll follow that up by brushing it behind her ear later on. By touching her you're coming across as flirty, and subliminally communicating that you want her, and aren't afraid to take some risks.
As for the questions, I've always hated that whole song and dance. It's great to have a list of questions as a newbie, but asking those one after the other comes across as extremely robotic.
I usually go about it by joking about something going on around us or making an observation. If she's really interested, she will help carry the conversation as opposed to me just doing 90% of the talking. If she's doing more of the talking than you, you're in business. This is one part of game I'm really not good at explaining because this has always been natural to me.
Anyway, after talking to her for 15-20 minutes, you want to get her number and bail. Tell her you have to run, but would love to keep the conversation going otherwise. Get the digits and run (unless you can pull a no-date bang, which I don't convert regularly enough to give advice on).
Post approach:
Call her a few days later and then reference something you said during the conversation as a joke, and listen if she laughs. That's usually a good sign that's she attracted to you.
Ask her what her schedule is like over the next few days, pick a day that she's free and works for you. Make a definite date, with a time.
I lost steam on this one. I admit, I'm pretty drunk right now. PM me if you have questions.
It happens because you don't talk about the girl at all. You probably talk anout random stuff unrelated to her.
If you want to make smooth transition from small talk to you and her scenario then start addressing her more.
+ Do cold reads like.. you seem like / you look like / you tend to / etc or negs like.... you DON'T seem like / you DON'T look like / you DON'T tend to / etc.
+ Challenge her... you're not.... / you don't.... / you can't.. / etc.
+ Misinterpret stuff she says in they way you prefer
+ Show some sort of an interest. Throw some statements why you like her
+ Use some future adventure projections... Describe what would you like to do with her next time. It doesn't have to be logical
+ Compliment her on something if nothing crosses your mind. Just pick something unusual like how her smile or smell reminds you of something.
Basically you need to show some kind of interest in the girl and express it in non cheasy way
If you want to make smooth transition from small talk to you and her scenario then start addressing her more.
+ Do cold reads like.. you seem like / you look like / you tend to / etc or negs like.... you DON'T seem like / you DON'T look like / you DON'T tend to / etc.
+ Challenge her... you're not.... / you don't.... / you can't.. / etc.
+ Misinterpret stuff she says in they way you prefer
+ Show some sort of an interest. Throw some statements why you like her
+ Use some future adventure projections... Describe what would you like to do with her next time. It doesn't have to be logical
+ Compliment her on something if nothing crosses your mind. Just pick something unusual like how her smile or smell reminds you of something.
Basically you need to show some kind of interest in the girl and express it in non cheasy way
Its easier and better if you have time 5+ mins to spit game. I agree with XXL, gotta show interest, even if its indirectly, she will get it. XXL shows some nifty ways to turn the convo about HER.
However..if you have less than 45secs i.e. checking out at a store with a line behind you a simple "you look nice today. Why don't you write ya number on the back of my reciept and i'll hit you up". Has worked wonders for me. Direct and to the point. If you get the old ihabf a quick bf destroyer takes less than 30 secs. "O foreal, whens the marriage" or my favorite "you happy? Why you stutter for? (Thank you luckystar) its cool we just friends and I usually don't bite".
However..if you have less than 45secs i.e. checking out at a store with a line behind you a simple "you look nice today. Why don't you write ya number on the back of my reciept and i'll hit you up". Has worked wonders for me. Direct and to the point. If you get the old ihabf a quick bf destroyer takes less than 30 secs. "O foreal, whens the marriage" or my favorite "you happy? Why you stutter for? (Thank you luckystar) its cool we just friends and I usually don't bite".
Please don't like my posts or rep me. I do not wish to be judged by how many rep points and/or likes I have.
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