[the Thing]

Is it still 100% no-no in the year 2018 to buy a girl a drink?

So at clubs/bars. When a girl approaches me and asks me to buy her a drink thinking I'm some sort of beta bux, obviously no. But if I'm 10-15 minutes into talking to a girl and she is receptive, when both of our drinks are finished I go to the bar --or I'm usually near it anyway because the bar's a high traffic spot where I want to be at-- order two cheap beers on tap, pay and hand one to her without her even asking. I should also mention that I don't do this if she herself asks for a drink but this hardly ever happens, it's either she comes to me and straight up asks for a drink or we're into conversation and she never even brings it up. It's like my donut angle (if you haven't read about it before, click here) as it helps her feel more comfortable with me. And I get way better results this way.

What do you think?

[The Catalyst]

I always follow the <borderline autistic angle that tries to fit human behavior into a strict set of rules>

[Dino]

What about an appetizer?

[H1N1]

Control over one's environment, and the situation as a whole is attractive. One of money's real virtues is that it allows one to do this. Buying drinks for girls who have invested enough of their time and attention in you to merit it is not a big deal. From behind the bar, I can see what a turn off it is when a guy goes to buy drinks for a girl, or a group he is with, and he starts asking how much stuff is, or ordering cheaper drinks. This sort of middle ground is emasculating and is to be avoided. It is better to embody an extreme - either the self-centred bad boy, or the consummate and accomplished smoothie.

If you are well dressed and well groomed, and your vibe is wealth, luxury and power, then you just look like a tight bastard if you care about buying drinks. If you're all dishevelled and hobo-chic looking, then the penniless bad boy charm can of course be highly effective. Either way though, it's the uncertainty inherent in the middle ground - the sense of buying a drink needing to lead somewhere, or being an investment, that stops you being comfortable in your surroundings and takes away your sense of control over the outcome.

[Bushido]

I don't think it's ever been a no-no. I buy girls drinks if I'm enjoying their company. Then again I live in a country that is full of (mostly) gracious and polite girls. It's an easy decision.

[dosequis]

Like Bushido said. Problem in my case is that I don’t live in a place with polite and nice girls so random bar sluts aren’t enjoying drinks from me unless I have a table with friends (but in that case it’s actually just so other women can see that we’re having a great time and it raises the status or what not in the club).

I’ve been generous in the past and noticed that girls and guys have just tried to take advantage of me by getting drinks. You will only regret that. But if the culture was different and more friendly I wouldn’t mind buying drinks to a stranger as a nice gesture.

But when I’m out on dates I also pay since hot young girls doesn’t have that much money because they’re usually busy studying some bullshit subject. That’s another thing.

[the Thing]

(03-31-2018 09:03 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

From behind the bar, I can see what a turn off it is when a guy goes to buy drinks for a girl, or a group he is with, and he starts asking how much stuff is, or ordering cheaper drinks.

Yea totally. In line with this; "Two cheap beers on tap" is key to my angle here. Imagine this, at a loud dive bar:

Guy: Hello! *shouting*
Bartender: Whaddya want?
Guy: Can I see a cocktail menu?
Bartender: What?
Guy: Cocktail menu!
Bartender: What cocktail?
Guy: *shouts* MENU
Bartender: *rolls eyes* *brings menu*
Girl: (what in the hell is this loser doing?)
Guy: *shows menu to girl* Hey what do you like?
Girl: umm.. *doesnt want to have to choose anything just wants to stand there and look pretty, now discomforted because of this*
Guy: Hey what about this it looks sweet? *points at drink*
Girl: Yea I think this would be better? *points at another drink*
Guy: ?umm yea idk *thinks it costs too much, starts shaking*
Girl: *notices insecurity*
Guy: Yea ok helloo.. two of these.. *points at drink*
Bartender: *serving someone else* *takes 2 minutes to come back*
Guy: Yea two of these..
Bartender: Yea we're all out of <some mixer> I can't make those
Guy: yea I see.. hey what you want they dont have that?
Girl: *wat?* umm yea anything is fine
Guy: ok.. 2 of these then.. *points at drink*
Bartender: k
Bartender: *proceeds to mix 2 cocktails which conveniently is made with the most hard to reach ingredients at the bar* *takes 5 minutes*
*5 minutes later*
Bartender: Here ya go buddy.. cash or card?
Guy: Card.. *tries to pull out his credit card all nervous*
Girl: *already checking out other guys at the bar*
Guy: ... *manages to pay after 2 minute battle with the POS machine* Here ya go babe.
Girl: *already left and talking to some other dude at the bar*

(03-31-2018 09:03 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

Control over one's environment, and the situation as a whole is attractive.

One hundred percent.

If you go through all of the above. And. Pay with a credit card. You may as well go jump off the nearest bridge as the momentum is completely lost. Here's how I do it:

Me: *eye contact with bartender*
Bartender: Hey!
Me: Hey! *smile* *point at a beer tap* *hand sign the number 2*
Bartender: Okay!
Bartender: *15 seconds later or however long it takes to pour 2 beers* Here ya go
Me: *leave cash for 2 beers plus tip on the bar* *smile* Thanks!

Two cheap beers on tap: No insecurity. No long wait. No awkwardness. No momentum lost. 100% smooth operation.

If you're not near a bar at the moment, there's also an implied compliance test to see if she'll follow my lead to the bar so that's another plus.

Two cheap beers on tap should be a thing

[Batman_]

If we're meeting for the first time and neither of us have ordered yet, I almost never will.

If we're switching venues to a place that's super packed, I might so we don't have to dick around and waste time ordering drinks separately. I almost never buy them more than 1 drink in an evening though.

Bars are fucking expensive I can barely justify buying it for myself let alone someone else.

[the Thing]

(03-31-2018 04:44 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  

If we're meeting for the first time and neither of us have ordered yet, I almost never will.

If we're switching venues to a place that's super packed, I might so we don't have to dick around and waste time ordering drinks separately. I almost never buy them more than 1 drink in an evening though.

Bars are fucking expensive I can barely justify buying it for myself let alone someone else.

I'm talking about when you cold approach a girl at a bar or a nightclub. Date dynamics are different.

[Batman_]

(03-31-2018 04:50 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 04:44 PM)Batman_ Wrote:  

If we're meeting for the first time and neither of us have ordered yet, I almost never will.

If we're switching venues to a place that's super packed, I might so we don't have to dick around and waste time ordering drinks separately. I almost never buy them more than 1 drink in an evening though.

Bars are fucking expensive I can barely justify buying it for myself let alone someone else.

I'm talking about when you cold approach a girl at a bar or a nightclub. Date dynamics are different.

Oh, well I can't recall ever buying a drink for a girl I just approached. Then again the vast majority of all the approaches I've ever done were on the street so that's probably part of it.

In the cases where I've chatted with a girl I just opened at a bar, I try to avoid that situation altogether by drinking super slowly. I usually don't even want them to buy me a drink unless it's for some weird fruit loop flavored shot or something that they insist that I try.

[BlastbeatCasanova]

Not if it's a first encounter. Did plenty of the "hey lemme buy you a drink!" in my younger days after chatting up a cute girl at a bar. It just gives them validation and doen't guarantee shit. If we meet up for a date then I'll foot the bill on a few beverages, sure.

[TheOklahoman]

Every scenario and/or City is different.

For instance,
Scenario 1: In Vancouver, BC Canada. You absolutely avoid buying a girl a drink unless you are positive that she is really into you. In Vancouver, women there want you to charm them with other things then money. Of course, you have the gold diggers who are the exception. Overall, most women in Vancouver think when a guy buys a gal a drink. Its perceived to them as drinks as an exchange for favors/ sexual pleasures.

Scenario 2: In the south partially Texas but Oklahoma too. If you don't buy a girl a drink. They think you are some cheap ass. To them it is the first security check that they can feel you out. They are looking for if you have a job, a car, are you self sufficient. In a sense, it's a common prerequisite to see if they even want to consider you. Once you pass that then she will decide if she likes you. Not only that, it's rare for a women in the south to go solo. Therefore, you have to pass her girlfriend's test(s) as well. Let's say, you only buy the girl you gaming a drink and not her girlfriends. She'll just say, "thank you" and walk away with the drink bc you excluded her other girlfriends. So be weary, some places you need to be able to budget the purchase of 3-5 drinks as well as tips to the bartender. SIDE NOTE: if you do buy the chick n her girlfriends a drink n tip the bartender shitty. You might as well just exclude yourself and kick yourself in the nuts bc you just torpedoed yourself. Good news, you can counter this knowing the bartender and tipping well. Clearly be smart about it, no need to tip 20 dollar bills for 2 beers but if you tip better then the average. Bartenders know who's taking care of them and who is not. Hence why you see other people getting their drinks faster without even waiting in line. That's just the nightclub business. They are there to make money, so if they take care of 10 customers n make 300 bucks rather then 30 customers n make the same amount aka $300 bucks. THen they'll easily take the 10 customers route.
Overall, when a female notices that you are the bartender more valued customer, it demonstrates value which makes her question other things which then increases her curiosity which then makes her more intrigued of why this bartender is taking special care of you. As she notices that, her prerequisite test is out the window. Then its on to see if you have what it takes to move forward in the escalation steps n so on.

Overall, it is all about fine tuning and adjusting yourself to the girl. Some girls will take it as a nice gesture and carry on the conversation. Most will take the drink and then most likely walk away and say "thank you". Overall, if you can refrain from this it be better plus a lot cheaper on you're wallet. I will say buying a lady a drink can be a good thing to buy you some time to recapture the set or buy you some time. When you watch a male approach and you see him running out of material, it could literally be the difference of buying a drink that can save you.

PS. I would never buy a girl a cheap beer unless she is some college chick. Most women don't like beer. Easiest route is to have them order their drink to the bartender itself. That way it avoids ordering the wrong drink and if there is a problem in communication it doesn't look bad at you. Fluidity is everything!


PSS. if you can refrain from buying a girl a drink it will make your game tight as fuck! When I first started, I had a 20 dollar budget. We would get to the bar/club pre-gamed up to where we just needed one drink. And then the other 15 bucks was to buy a girl a drink/shot. Fast forward to now, when you are in cities like Vancouver / Vegas. It makes the escalation steps quite fun and intriguing. And when she's into you, she's into you to other factors then money. That's when you really have the "hook"...

[DonnyGately]

I buy her one of what I'm drinking if I think she's worth further investment. If she doesn't like it, I drink it when I'm finished my first one.

Most girls aren't picky, at least if you drink good alcohol.

[kaotic]

(04-02-2018 04:59 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

I buy her one of what I'm drinking if I think she's worth further investment. If she doesn't like it, I drink it when I'm finished my first one.

Most girls aren't picky, at least if you drink good alcohol.

Cosign - first rounds on me (Most girls drive 30-60 mins to meet me), she gets the second, always works.

That way I only invest in 2 drinks and I bounce if she's wack.

[Mufasa]

get them to play rock paper scissors for a round or two.

[realologist]

Drinks are on her. Roofies are expensive.

[Banna]

In my city (Toronto) in terms of clubs "buying a girl a drink" opener is almost a outdated practice.

It's about bottle service and wooing girls to your table. A lot of these girls will purposefully dance right in front of a guys table instead of elsewhere knowing they'll be invited to drink more than likely.

Or they'll station some guy by the bar to woo girls over.

Is it like this in other people in this threads cities?

I notice just from this past Saturday girls ask me more for cocaine more than ever than to buy them a drink.

I'll buy a girl a drinkif we've started making out on the dance floor (maybe 30 or 40% of the time)....but I won't just cold open a girl with a drink offer.

[redbeard]

(03-31-2018 04:41 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 09:03 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

From behind the bar, I can see what a turn off it is when a guy goes to buy drinks for a girl, or a group he is with, and he starts asking how much stuff is, or ordering cheaper drinks.

Yea totally. In line with this; "Two cheap beers on tap" is key to my angle here. Imagine this, at a loud dive bar:

Guy: Hello! *shouting*
Bartender: Whaddya want?
Guy: Can I see a cocktail menu?
Bartender: What?
Guy: Cocktail menu!
Bartender: What cocktail?
Guy: *shouts* MENU
Bartender: *rolls eyes* *brings menu*
Girl: (what in the hell is this loser doing?)
Guy: *shows menu to girl* Hey what do you like?
Girl: umm.. *doesnt want to have to choose anything just wants to stand there and look pretty, now discomforted because of this*
Guy: Hey what about this it looks sweet? *points at drink*
Girl: Yea I think this would be better? *points at another drink*
Guy: ?umm yea idk *thinks it costs too much, starts shaking*
Girl: *notices insecurity*
Guy: Yea ok helloo.. two of these.. *points at drink*
Bartender: *serving someone else* *takes 2 minutes to come back*
Guy: Yea two of these..
Bartender: Yea we're all out of <some mixer> I can't make those
Guy: yea I see.. hey what you want they dont have that?
Girl: *wat?* umm yea anything is fine
Guy: ok.. 2 of these then.. *points at drink*
Bartender: k
Bartender: *proceeds to mix 2 cocktails which conveniently is made with the most hard to reach ingredients at the bar* *takes 5 minutes*
*5 minutes later*
Bartender: Here ya go buddy.. cash or card?
Guy: Card.. *tries to pull out his credit card all nervous*
Girl: *already checking out other guys at the bar*
Guy: ... *manages to pay after 2 minute battle with the POS machine* Here ya go babe.
Girl: *already left and talking to some other dude at the bar*

(03-31-2018 09:03 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

Control over one's environment, and the situation as a whole is attractive.

One hundred percent.

If you go through all of the above. And. Pay with a credit card. You may as well go jump off the nearest bridge as the momentum is completely lost. Here's how I do it:

Me: *eye contact with bartender*
Bartender: Hey!
Me: Hey! *smile* *point at a beer tap* *hand sign the number 2*
Bartender: Okay!
Bartender: *15 seconds later or however long it takes to pour 2 beers* Here ya go
Me: *leave cash for 2 beers plus tip on the bar* *smile* Thanks!

Two cheap beers on tap: No insecurity. No long wait. No awkwardness. No momentum lost. 100% smooth operation.

If you're not near a bar at the moment, there's also an implied compliance test to see if she'll follow my lead to the bar so that's another plus.

Two cheap beers on tap should be a thing

If a man asks for a cocktail menu, you are no longer talking to a man.

You are talking to soy

[Steelex]

I don't think it's whether you buy it, but how.

For instance I would never open with "hey blah blah blah let me buy you a drink* that's weak. I'd open her, talk for several minutes, guage the situation and her interest, and then ask her what she's drinking if I think things look good.

There's nothing wrong with buying the drink, but she has to drop some IOI's and be fairly pleasant or else it's just a drink wasted.

FWIW, the whole point of buying her a drink is to show a few things...

A) you're a socially well adjusted guy.
B) You're not a cheapskate.
C) You're signaling "hey, I'm interested in you sexually" in a very socially acceptable way. You're playing a card. After that, it's her turn to play a card such as buying you a drink, taking a selfie with you, initiating a little kino, suggesting you go play a game of pool, ect... If you buy the drink and she doesnt move her little checker, then its a very reliable indicator that she is shutting you down in a polite way.

[Noir]

I always get the first one and tell them "you can get the next one".

If they do, good.

If they don't, it's a sign.

[kaotic]

(04-02-2018 08:01 PM)Banna Wrote:  

It's about bottle service and wooing girls to your table. A lot of these girls will purposefully dance right in front of a guys table instead of elsewhere knowing they'll be invited to drink more than likely.

Or they'll station some guy by the bar to woo girls over.

Is it like this in other people in this threads cities?

I notice just from this past Saturday girls ask me more for cocaine more than ever than to buy them a drink.

I'll buy a girl a drinkif we've started making out on the dance floor (maybe 30 or 40% of the time)....but I won't just cold open a girl with a drink offer.

Sure if you like spending 100's of dollars just to attract bottle rats.

Hot girls do love tables and lines that's a given.

For the most part drunk bitches are just looking for free drinks at a table, unless you happen to have solid game and/or high SMV.

I've seen guys better get results starting out on the dancefloor.

But to be honest clubs ain't my thing anymore.

[YoungBlade]

No, but only because I get as many free drinks as possible from girls.

Reverse the paradigm. Make her chase you.

[Rocha]

I think it is generally better to not buy, than to buy "two cheap beers on tap". Hot/classy ladies dont drink beer when going out, and shows you as a cheapstake. If you are not doing things right, better not do them at all.

I usually pay drinks to girls I am banging if we go out together, or girls I approach and then start making out, or sense that it will be a sure shot. A simple conversation is not enough for me to reach to my pockets.

Opposite to many guys, my intent when paying a drink to a woman is not to buy time to keep her around bantering, or listening to her boring stuff. My intent is to make her loosen up and get more tipsy so that my escalation to inside her pussy is swift and with the least possible resistance.

I always offer a glass of white dry wine, which they mostly comply, if she does not want, I let her have what she wants.

I can count by 1 or max 2, the times I payed a drink to a woman and got nothing in return (at least a make out), over the last years.

[redbeard]

I like the sentiment of "two cheap beers on tap" but not the execution. Girls don't drink beer. Guys shouldn't either, it's loaded with estrogens from the hops, and tons of carbs (save for Light beer).

Most girls just drink vodka + mixer anyway. They rarely have a choice of label because they mix it so you can't taste the liquor. I'll order a call and get her the well vodka, no matter how nasty it is. They don't care.

Rocha is right - the point is to get her loosened up. Most girls are broke. A lot of them don't spend a dime when they're at the bar. Toss em a drink when things are going well and it'll pay off.

[redbeard]

(04-01-2018 03:17 PM)TheOklahoman Wrote:  

Every scenario and/or City is different.

For instance,
Scenario 1: In Vancouver, BC Canada. You absolutely avoid buying a girl a drink unless you are positive that she is really into you. In Vancouver, women there want you to charm them with other things then money. Of course, you have the gold diggers who are the exception. Overall, most women in Vancouver think when a guy buys a gal a drink. Its perceived to them as drinks as an exchange for favors/ sexual pleasures.

Scenario 2: In the south partially Texas but Oklahoma too. If you don't buy a girl a drink. They think you are some cheap ass. To them it is the first security check that they can feel you out. They are looking for if you have a job, a car, are you self sufficient. In a sense, it's a common prerequisite to see if they even want to consider you. Once you pass that then she will decide if she likes you. Not only that, it's rare for a women in the south to go solo. Therefore, you have to pass her girlfriend's test(s) as well. Let's say, you only buy the girl you gaming a drink and not her girlfriends. She'll just say, "thank you" and walk away with the drink bc you excluded her other girlfriends. So be weary, some places you need to be able to budget the purchase of 3-5 drinks as well as tips to the bartender. SIDE NOTE: if you do buy the chick n her girlfriends a drink n tip the bartender shitty. You might as well just exclude yourself and kick yourself in the nuts bc you just torpedoed yourself. Good news, you can counter this knowing the bartender and tipping well. Clearly be smart about it, no need to tip 20 dollar bills for 2 beers but if you tip better then the average. Bartenders know who's taking care of them and who is not. Hence why you see other people getting their drinks faster without even waiting in line. That's just the nightclub business. They are there to make money, so if they take care of 10 customers n make 300 bucks rather then 30 customers n make the same amount aka $300 bucks. THen they'll easily take the 10 customers route.
Overall, when a female notices that you are the bartender more valued customer, it demonstrates value which makes her question other things which then increases her curiosity which then makes her more intrigued of why this bartender is taking special care of you. As she notices that, her prerequisite test is out the window. Then its on to see if you have what it takes to move forward in the escalation steps n so on.

Overall, it is all about fine tuning and adjusting yourself to the girl. Some girls will take it as a nice gesture and carry on the conversation. Most will take the drink and then most likely walk away and say "thank you". Overall, if you can refrain from this it be better plus a lot cheaper on you're wallet. I will say buying a lady a drink can be a good thing to buy you some time to recapture the set or buy you some time. When you watch a male approach and you see him running out of material, it could literally be the difference of buying a drink that can save you.

PS. I would never buy a girl a cheap beer unless she is some college chick. Most women don't like beer. Easiest route is to have them order their drink to the bartender itself. That way it avoids ordering the wrong drink and if there is a problem in communication it doesn't look bad at you. Fluidity is everything!


PSS. if you can refrain from buying a girl a drink it will make your game tight as fuck! When I first started, I had a 20 dollar budget. We would get to the bar/club pre-gamed up to where we just needed one drink. And then the other 15 bucks was to buy a girl a drink/shot. Fast forward to now, when you are in cities like Vancouver / Vegas. It makes the escalation steps quite fun and intriguing. And when she's into you, she's into you to other factors then money. That's when you really have the "hook"...

OK I missed this post.

Good stuff here.

Instead of determining what you should do based on geographic location, try to get a feel for the girl before you buy the drink to tell what kind she is.

If she's more of a "Vancouver" type then don't buy the drink. If she's a "Texas" then you better order some Tito's right now.

I don't think I've ever ordered drinks for the entire group though, and that includes 6 years of game in Louisiana.

If she's in a group at a table, "grabbing a drink" is an excellent way to pull the target from the table, to the bar, where you order her and you a drink...and then sit at the bar.

Her friends think you're just "going to get a drink" but really it's an excuse to isolate. As long as you're within eye's reach the friends won't have a problem since they know you, you're right there, and you bought a drink. Obviously they might come over and interrupt, but you should prepare for that.