[jariel]

(06-11-2015 11:18 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

She just wants to hangout outside of the house and honestly I don't have the time nor the motivation to do that with her.

She drops the "I wanna feel like I know you're interested in me, you're really distant".

It's pretty clear she wants to be in Q3 while in my eyes its still half time.

It's time to let this girl go (gently) and let her do her own thing, she feels already invested in me.

It's unfortunate, we typically bang once a week, and our sexual chemistry is off the fucking charts.

The last thing I need is her pregnant and ruining my LTR situation.

It's not a surprise that in the beginning, especially in the beginning, girls will use dope sex to try to rope you into a relationship.

Ultimately, you're going to have bail on that chick because your desires are incongruent.

She wants to be in a relationship with you, you just want to fuck occasionally.

The problem with that dynamic is simple; as time goes on, she will ramp up her efforts and continue to treat you like you're her man, but because she's treating you a certain way, she will create an expectation in her mind that you must reciprocate with similar treatment towards her. When you don't do that, because you don't want to do that, she will get upset, and then the drama will begin.

When we're dealing with females, we have to make sure that we're on the same page, that we both know what it is, and we both act like we know what it is, when you have a chick you're fucking once a week talking about how she wants to take the relationship into an entirely new direction -- spending more time together, doing things socially, i.e. be a couple -- then that's your cue to get off at the nearest exit without her.

[kaotic]

Agreed,

She brought this up awhile ago, I told her I can't do the GF/BF title thing, I'm too damn busy with that.

I told her "when I'm with you, I'm with you, when I'm not, I'm not"

We were cool for awhile until this happened, one person will always catch feelings.

Shitty part is she sent me a video of her playing with herself, I'm gonna have to let her know I don't want to lead her on and we want different things.

She's been nice, she doesn't need to get burned, it might sting though.

[jariel]

(06-12-2015 01:39 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

I told her I can't do the GF/BF title thing, I'm too damn busy with that.

I told her "when I'm with you, I'm with you, when I'm not, I'm not"

We were cool for awhile until this happened, one person will always catch feelings.

Shitty part is she sent me a video of her playing with herself, I'm gonna have to let her know I don't want to lead her on and we want different things.

[kaotic]

Not sure if telling me to bang her again one more time or.....

[jariel]

(06-12-2015 04:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Not sure if telling me to bang her again one more time or.....

No, I was pointing out that the video was a hail mary on her part.

[TravelerKai]

(06-11-2015 07:16 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

(06-11-2015 07:02 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

This is horrible advice. I cohabitated with my exwife if you want credentials of experience.

No offense TK, but was it co-habitation that hurt your marriage or the type of woman you co-habitated and later married?

Quote:

Living with a woman is all kinds of trouble. I don't have much time to type, but we can still make a decent high level list.

1) There is way to effectively create ground rules with a live in girlfriend.
2) It encourages the very thing we all hate here. Female independence and no submission to a man.
3) No legitimacy in the eyes of God, society, family, and friends. Only the greedy ass state/government wants to force label you so that they can get more tax and potential divorce money from you to feed their legal industrial complex.
4) Excessive legal risk in a confrontation or conflict (She hit you and lie about it, etc.). Also, Legally you have protections like, (albeit small ones) Spousal Privilege in court testify situations. Without a marriage, you have no protection on things like that.

Sounds like much of the same issues you can have when married to the wrong woman. How does co-habitation with a woman become more dangerous? Marriage won't save you from a domestic violence accusation. Hell, with the way things are these days, I wouldn't be so certain a husband couldn't be charged with rape.

Quote:

Ever sit your new girlfriend down before she moves in and go over a bunch of ground rules she must follow? Ever make her sign a rental agreement? Ever threaten her that failure to follow your rules will displease God? No. Of course not. No one has ever done that. Why not? Because it won't fucking work.

...

TK, I cut some of your quote down for easier thread scrolling.

As I said to Jariel, you shouldn't be in any relationship with a woman if those are some of the things you are worried about.

I don't understand why you think marriage, in itself, brings in some type of submission. It has as little to do with submission as does co-habitation.

Either your woman submits or she doesn't. I would expect you to know that before you get to this point.

As for religion, that is a personal matter. I am not religious, but for those that are should follow their beliefs in those matters. I don't have any comments on religious beliefs since they are of a personal nature.

I lived with my exwife for at least 3 years before we got married. Yes cohabitation was a contributing factor for the failure of the later marriage. The type of woman she was is irrelevant in the context that there was no true sacrifice or skin in the game on her part to do that with me, opposed to marrying me straight up.

Married to the wrong woman or cohabitating with the right woman, there is no real difference. Both have high risks.
In many ways a husband is harder to charge with a rape. That's beside the fact most wives are not going to bother trying to get there husband locked up for that. The humiliation socially is enough of a deterrent. You hardly hear cases about this, although I am certain it can happen. On the other hand, rape accusations involving non-married people are numerous.

Put it to you like this. We talk about Alpha Widows and women scorned on this forum all the time. Jameis Winston's accuser the Mattress Girl, etc. Women lash out when they do not get what they want. If what a woman want's is to be acknowledged (social proof in the form of marriage), legitimized, and elevated in desirability/attention from a man, why in the hell would you take that away from your own self? You gotta give women more credit than that. They won't cut their foot off, in spite their face like that. Marriage and children is what every relatively normal woman wants. Even many of the damaged and crazy looking ones want this. They just want it on their terms with the men they want. Once they have what they want, there is no reason to pull out the nuclear option. If you were playing Poker, and you had an Ace up your sleeve, why would you use it if you already have three 6 cards with two Kings? You wouldn't. You already have a full house. So why accuse your husband of rape? That destroys their lives in a way even a divorce cannot. At least a divorce guarantees money until the kids are 18 or a portion of retirement. The key is to keep that man working. Keep a father for your kids (even if it is at arms length and under your control).

You do not have to be a Christian to appreciate the redpill truths concerning women that are written in the book. Those guidelines if followed would ensure at least a good quality of life and a healthy relationship with a woman.

[worldwidetraveler]

(06-13-2015 10:30 AM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

I lived with my exwife for at least 3 years before we got married. Yes cohabitation was a contributing factor for the failure of the later marriage. The type of woman she was is irrelevant in the context that there was no true sacrifice or skin in the game on her part to do that with me, opposed to marrying me straight up.

Sorry TK, I don't believe the woman's character is irrelevant. Of course it is relevant. You trying to tell me you didn't see any problems prior to marriage?

What skin in the game are you referring too?

You can walk away just as easily as she can when co-habitating. You think marriage will make it that much tougher for someone to walk away? Not with no-fault divorce laws that reign supreme. More messy, sure, but not exactly tough for women to walk away.

Quote:

Married to the wrong woman or cohabitating with the right woman, there is no real difference. Both have high risks.
In many ways a husband is harder to charge with a rape. That's beside the fact most wives are not going to bother trying to get there husband locked up for that. The humiliation socially is enough of a deterrent. You hardly hear cases about this, although I am certain it can happen. On the other hand, rape accusations involving non-married people are numerous.

Sure, it may be harder to pin a rape on a husband. Still may not stop a woman from trying and royally screwing up your life even if you are found innocent. You're not going to have much more safe guards by wifing up a woman compared to living with her.

Don't forget the divorce courts, judges and lawyers that will be involved if you or she decides to leave a marriage.

Again, if you are worried about rape charges when co-habitating then you are with the wrong woman and should end the relationship.

Quote:

You do not have to be a Christian to appreciate the redpill truths concerning women that are written in the book. Those guidelines if followed would ensure at least a good quality of life and a healthy relationship with a woman.

Marriage, in itself, doesn't lead to a good quality of life nor a healthy relationship with women. You can see from all the divorce stories. Submission doesn't automatically happen when you marry someone.

You can have a good healthy relationship with or without marriage. If losing you and your family isn't skin enough, marriage won't help you brother.

I respect your opinion, on this matter, but will have to disagree. Guys should do everything they can to make sure they are not romanticizing marriage. Living with their woman, prior to marriage, will knock some reality really quick into their life.

If guys are going to be afraid of what happens when living together, don't even contemplate marriage to the woman. End the relationship and find a woman that don't instill those types of fears.

One final thought. Guys won't learn much from reading about this stuff. They need to experience this stuff for themselves. Let me know how all of these check lists and rules helped you when you have some emotions on the line. Seeing a woman for a week or a couple of months is nothing in the grand scheme of relationships.

[fiasco360]

Jariel, just came in to say I enjoy your posts.

While I am not in the triple digits lay wise, I have a respectable amount and I have had long term relationships - even lived with one.

Your posting is pretty spot on.

[getdownonit]

wrong thread

[treypound]

good relationship advice, for those that actually want...a...relationship.