[april6e]

For years, I've basically adopted the mentality that I will never chase. What I mean by this is, if I initiate some sort of conversation with a woman (typically digitally) and she does not respond at any point, I assume she is not interested and move on. I did this because I'm naturally clingy and needed a way to prevent myself from repeatedly messaging women who haven't responded back yet and further digging myself into holes.

I've been thinking about the very few recent dates I've gone on that I felt went well on both sides (compared to the dozens upon dozens I've crashed and burned on and knew the woman was never going to give me the time of day ever again). All of them have ended with me just dropping them after not responding to a message I sent days afterwards or telling me they are busy 1-2 times in a row when I invite them out.

Have I been going about this the right way? Should I continue to assume when a woman doesn't get back to me that she has lost interest and move on with my life (letting me contact me if she's still interested)? Or should I at least ping the woman one more time on another day, even if they don't respond or tell me they are busy?

[torridon747]

I too have struggled with this. Though you need to have a better concept of leverage to understand what's going on when you chase. And to understand the implications of leverage you need to know yourself better. It's a multi-faceted exchange.

First of all know that showing intent is not the same as chasing. Remember that girls aren't stupid with superficial social matters, they will probably have picked up on your intent before you overtly show it. Being overt in your show of intent is important because it cements your intentions as real and valid and is a clear form of communication - and doesn't exist as a hunch or instinct in a girls head. Showing intent has it's uses but sometimes it may not be advantageous to do so depending on the game you're playing. Saying you want to see a girl again or inviting her out again another time is showing intent. Blowing up her phone with invites is chasing. If a girl is into you she will accept the first time or suggest an alternative if she is truely busy. Although I lost coubt of the number of times a girl that wad reallt into me ditched her plana to spend time with me. On to chasing...

When you chase you cede power to the person you're pursuing. Some people may not realize that's what they're doing and the pursued may not consciously realize it but that's what it's doing. That's honesty why it works sometimes, it appeals to the ego of the pursued. Raises their status above the chaser which is an attractive proposal for anyone, male or female. The caveat is though that women are attracted to power, and though most may not be honest enough to admit it- don't want to have the power in the relationship. Chasing is a losing proposal for a man and unless you have the guile and charisma to recover from it it's ill advised to start long term interactions on that foot. You instinctively know some of this stuff, it's why you committed to never chadong in the first place and why you think it harms your integrity.

Also if the dates went well for those girls they would be jumping to see you again, it sucks but that's the truth.

[RedBeanWarrior]

Hard to build attraction digitally. Need to get physical, touch and flirt. If your first impression is a big bang, higher chance she'll reply to your texts.

Got to show (not tell) that you're interesting, dangerous, so she's curious enough to see you again. You're not like the other fags.

Always tease and never (NEVER) give a straight answer, whatever the question. She asks what you doing, you don't say "my homework", you say "your mom"... not really, but you get the idea.

Finally, if she still is not responding, fuck her. Plenty of fish in the sea, even with the cancer of feminism present. Keep working out, reading, do interesting shit, build yourself into the man bitches want to fuck.

Ten years from now make her regret that she didn't give you a chance, then she'll take it out on her fag husband and divorce-rape him.

[TheBMan]

This is a very tricky question. There have been two girls in my life that were long term girlfriends who I really loved and cared about. Both of them I had to chase for a while. One gave me the wrong phone number when we met. Sometimes life is about timing, so if you feel there is a mutual connection it makes sense to chase if the timing isnt right. If she's kind of on the fence stay engaged, albeit dont pester. But if she's not returning your calls after a first date move on.

[Batman_]

Don't chase. Learn the power of nexting.

Girl flakes on your first date? NEXT
Girl doesn't respond to your first or second text? NEXT
Girl tries to force you into her frame right away? NEXT
Girl won't have sex after 3 dates? NEXT

Realize that nexting is not punishment for the girl, it's for yourself. While what I gave you were examples, they are general guidelines that I tend to follow. Nexting will save you from frustration, headaches, and time-wasting, while helping you culivate a sense of indifference and abundance.