As the title says. Some quick info about me is that I am in my upper 20s, European-American, and currently living in Japan. I got out of a multi-year LTR before I left the US, and I've been going to parties and events here to practice my skills on women, both Japanese and foreign. A few weeks ago, I had my first date after my LTR, and I'm wondering if you gentlemen can give me some advice on odd things that transpired.
So, I met this German girl at a party. We made some flirty and superficial conversation for about 10 minutes, then I got her number and mingled with other people for the night. A few days later, I texted her with an opening that referenced something we talked about at the party, then made a few lines of banter before asking her out for later in the week. Her soonest available time was Saturday night, so I made plans to meet her for ice skating followed by drinks at a bar. At the time, I was living in a sharehouse, so I decided to make the date closer to her place just in case things started to heat up.
We met at the train station and walked over to the ice-skating rink together. Her skill level is similar to mine (beginner), so we held hands and skated together, making good conversation along the way. I let her do most of the talking and usually interjected to drop some quick wisdom or make a quick joke about something she said. Occasionally she would partially fall, but I'd catch her and pull her up, giving us ample opportunity to touch. Things went pretty well, other than odd conversation from her about how she loves the EU (she works for the German government) and how Japan isn't feminist enough (along with the remark "Even Germany still has a long way to go", to which I laughed internally), but to her credit, she was polite and positive about everything she said, never speaking in a jeering tone. Good for her I guess.
Unfortunately, towards the end of our skating session, we both slipped and fell, and we decided to stop skating after that. Everything seemed the same at first, but as we walked away from the rink and I put my arm around her as we walked to the next venue, I noticed she was holding her purse on the same side as me. Later I ended up on the other side of her after we crossed a street, and the purse moved over to the other side! Worse, as we were walking towards the bar, we happened to pass a subway station, and she pointed at it and said "Oh, are we going home now?" Ouch! She had told me earlier she planned on getting up early the next day for a Skype conversation, but I mentioned going to the bar for a bit, and she was okay with it. I was considering ending the date because of the mixed signals I was getting from her, but I pressed on.
When we got to the bar and sat down at the table, with me right next to her, she put that damn purse on her lap, and it stayed glued to her lap for the rest of our time there. She was still pleasant and talkative and not ignoring me or looking at her phone, but I was having trouble reading her. I ended the night after one drink, and we shared a train for just one stop. I didn't bother going for the kiss at the end because I was tired of her nonsense, and instead I got the fake hug and smile goodbye. Neither of us has since contacted the other, and I have deleted her number.
I'm wondering what I could have done differently here. My biggest issue was her purse behavior. Should I have confronted her about it? Should I have been more aggressive in going for a kiss despite the signals she was sending me? My assumption is that she was/is lonely in a new city and was willing to string me along for a night of entertainment, but wasn't interested in anything more. Thanks in advance for any advice.
So, I met this German girl at a party. We made some flirty and superficial conversation for about 10 minutes, then I got her number and mingled with other people for the night. A few days later, I texted her with an opening that referenced something we talked about at the party, then made a few lines of banter before asking her out for later in the week. Her soonest available time was Saturday night, so I made plans to meet her for ice skating followed by drinks at a bar. At the time, I was living in a sharehouse, so I decided to make the date closer to her place just in case things started to heat up.
We met at the train station and walked over to the ice-skating rink together. Her skill level is similar to mine (beginner), so we held hands and skated together, making good conversation along the way. I let her do most of the talking and usually interjected to drop some quick wisdom or make a quick joke about something she said. Occasionally she would partially fall, but I'd catch her and pull her up, giving us ample opportunity to touch. Things went pretty well, other than odd conversation from her about how she loves the EU (she works for the German government) and how Japan isn't feminist enough (along with the remark "Even Germany still has a long way to go", to which I laughed internally), but to her credit, she was polite and positive about everything she said, never speaking in a jeering tone. Good for her I guess.
Unfortunately, towards the end of our skating session, we both slipped and fell, and we decided to stop skating after that. Everything seemed the same at first, but as we walked away from the rink and I put my arm around her as we walked to the next venue, I noticed she was holding her purse on the same side as me. Later I ended up on the other side of her after we crossed a street, and the purse moved over to the other side! Worse, as we were walking towards the bar, we happened to pass a subway station, and she pointed at it and said "Oh, are we going home now?" Ouch! She had told me earlier she planned on getting up early the next day for a Skype conversation, but I mentioned going to the bar for a bit, and she was okay with it. I was considering ending the date because of the mixed signals I was getting from her, but I pressed on.
When we got to the bar and sat down at the table, with me right next to her, she put that damn purse on her lap, and it stayed glued to her lap for the rest of our time there. She was still pleasant and talkative and not ignoring me or looking at her phone, but I was having trouble reading her. I ended the night after one drink, and we shared a train for just one stop. I didn't bother going for the kiss at the end because I was tired of her nonsense, and instead I got the fake hug and smile goodbye. Neither of us has since contacted the other, and I have deleted her number.
I'm wondering what I could have done differently here. My biggest issue was her purse behavior. Should I have confronted her about it? Should I have been more aggressive in going for a kiss despite the signals she was sending me? My assumption is that she was/is lonely in a new city and was willing to string me along for a night of entertainment, but wasn't interested in anything more. Thanks in advance for any advice.