[joaolamp123]

Hey everybody,

what to do when your girlfriend's friends invite her everytime to party (GNO)? Sometimes i am traveling because of my work and even during these times she sometimes tell me they invited her and she refused (without me saying anything to her). I really believe in her and dont show any weakness (her interest level for me is really high), but it is something that can anytime cause me trouble (and i want to be prepared for everything)!!

Thanks

[DonnyGately]

Girls have other friends, don't be clingy.

[arsenal2000]

If it is important to you better to tell her. But remember to do it in a manner that is does not appear needy or jealous. How you convey it is extremely important. This way it is clear to her and she is also aware that it bothers you. I prefer expressing issues at an early stage.

[kaotic]

(02-12-2018 07:48 PM)arsenal2000 Wrote:  

If it is important to you better to tell her. But remember to do it in a manner that is does not appear needy or jealous. How you convey it is extremely important. This way it is clear to her and she is also aware that it bothers you. I prefer expressing issues at an early stage.

Problem is, it shouldn't bother him to begin with.

Girls can be social creatures, girls definitely have GNO's.

The fact that his GF is telling him unsolicited that she turns down offers to go out is a good sign.

If he has high value to her, he shouldn't let something like this bother him, he also shouldn't have any issue walking away from the relationship if it does become a problem.

[Leonard D Neubache]

If she's doing what you want then all you have to do is tell her, "one of the things I like about you is that you don't feel the need to put yourself in that situation."

It's a positive way of signalling your expectations.

"GNOs" are not harmless fun. Many single women go to devious lengths to sabotage any relationship their friends try to build. None of them want to be the last bitter hag still riding the carousel alone.

But be aware. If she's jettisoning her social life for you then it means she expects this relationship to move towards marriage and if you don't come through on that in a suitable time frame then you're going to end up with an extremely messy breakup.

[Rocha]

My advice is be proactive, and invite all of the girls out.

Be the life of the party, dance with all of them in a light way of course, and try to pair bond them with other guys.

GNO's will stop to exist, and next time they will crave a GNO + you.

Your SMV will grow exponentialy in the eyes of your girl. And the other girls will no more sabotage you, knowing they will not have the same fun if their girlfriend is dating some other weesh dude.

[ChefAllDay]

(02-12-2018 08:04 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

"GNOs" are not harmless fun. Many single women go to devious lengths to sabotage any relationship their friends try to build. None of them want to be the last bitter hag still riding the carousel alone.

I have been married 23 years, this is a hard fact. You have to manage and vet your wife/LTR's friends very carefully (if they are dudes they are probably gay and it's even worse than you can imagine, they ARE NOT harmless! Cut them out if you can, as fast as you can). If possible, and without being a pansy, you should befriend her friends to the point where betraying you is as bad as pushing her to do stupid shit. If not draw the line and let them know you're onto their bullshit. Whatever happens you gotta know other women, given the chance will ruin your relationship. Even if they are supposedly in stable relationships.

Just as a side note, don't trust your friends either if she is even a little hot.

[arsenal2000]

(02-12-2018 07:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(02-12-2018 07:48 PM)arsenal2000 Wrote:  

If it is important to you better to tell her. But remember to do it in a manner that is does not appear needy or jealous. How you convey it is extremely important. This way it is clear to her and she is also aware that it bothers you. I prefer expressing issues at an early stage.

Problem is, it shouldn't bother him to begin with.

Girls can be social creatures, girls definitely have GNO's.

The fact that his GF is telling him unsolicited that she turns down offers to go out is a good sign.

If he has high value to her, he shouldn't let something like this bother him, he also shouldn't have any issue walking away from the relationship if it does become a problem.

Hi Kaotic,

In south of America GNO culture starts with dinner , going to a lounge till 1.30 am and after that to an after party till 4 or 5am in the morning with heavy drinking, etc happens in all the places. I have see girls that start out with the intention of not cheating end up doing something different. I do not know the personality of this particular girl and how her friends party. Based on the party culture I have seen with brasilianas I made my observation.

[arsenal2000]

(02-11-2018 07:25 AM)joaolamp123 Wrote:  

Sometimes i am traveling because of my work and even during these times she sometimes tell me they invited her and she refused (without me saying anything to her).

Thanks

South American girls have a tendency to not directly say things. If on our own she is saying about not going to parties it could be a way to convey that she is looking for some commitment. you are the better judge if this is the case.

[The Alpha Virgin]

What to do?

I don't think it's a good idea to get a woman who goes on girls nights out in the first place. Are they going to hit up night clubs or some shit or what is the deal or is it impossible for them to just be at one of the girl's house and just have a dinner and hang out without males around?

[kaotic]

(02-13-2018 01:08 AM)arsenal2000 Wrote:  

(02-12-2018 07:54 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(02-12-2018 07:48 PM)arsenal2000 Wrote:  

If it is important to you better to tell her. But remember to do it in a manner that is does not appear needy or jealous. How you convey it is extremely important. This way it is clear to her and she is also aware that it bothers you. I prefer expressing issues at an early stage.

Problem is, it shouldn't bother him to begin with.

Girls can be social creatures, girls definitely have GNO's.

The fact that his GF is telling him unsolicited that she turns down offers to go out is a good sign.

If he has high value to her, he shouldn't let something like this bother him, he also shouldn't have any issue walking away from the relationship if it does become a problem.

Hi Kaotic,

In south of America GNO culture starts with dinner , going to a lounge till 1.30 am and after that to an after party till 4 or 5am in the morning with heavy drinking, etc happens in all the places. I have see girls that start out with the intention of not cheating end up doing something different. I do not know the personality of this particular girl and how her friends party. Based on the party culture I have seen with brasilianas I made my observation.

Now that's definitely different from what I'm used to.

A heavy night of drinking with girls can change a girls decision making like that.

I can understand why you have concerns.

The best advice has been said here, being proactive and also vetting your girl's friends.

[chvrches]

It can definitely be a threat, but if you keep your gf in check i don't think there will be much of a problem. Give her love and affection when you're not travelling. Keep her missing you, keep her excited for the next meetup. And as other people mentioned, it's a good idea to befriend her friends, so that they feel like you're a good person, and they will automatically feel more obligated to stop her from getting hit on by other guys when she's drunk. Last night at the club i noticed a group of 3 girls, a guy approached one of them and took her out on the dance floor. A few seconds in he went for the kiss, and i saw her 2 friends screaming and trying to get in to break them apart.

I was like, wtf? The guy is good looking, so it's probably not because they expect higher standard from her. If anything she's the friend, they should let her have fun. So i went up to the 2 girls later and asked them, what's going on, why they tried so hard to stop their friend kissing this guy. They said, she has a boyfriend. I had the most confused look on my face, because it seemed like this girl genuinely enjoyed the kissing and she looked happy. And she wasn't even slightly drunk. This is the type of girls i would be scared to date. It makes me think that this guy she's with probably haven't kept her in check, a beta. But it could easily have been a normal guy, and she's to blame for this shit. No matter how the boyfriend is, it's not justified to cheat in my opinion. End it instead.

I have been in a similar situation as you, where my ex used to go to GNO's but i knew her girlfriends, and they really liked me. They even invited me out with them anytime they would go out, but i thanked and declined. I loved her, so i trusted her, and she wasn't the type of girl to go out often. Sometimes she'd decline and stay at home with me, and it made me really appreciate her more. kaotic is right about this point, it's a very healthy sign a girl is actually telling you she declines offers, because of you. If she didn't think about you, and how you feel about her going out so much, she would never have mentioned it... think about it. In the end you know your gf best, so react according to her personality.

[joaolamp123]

chvrches,

she doesnt make a clear mention that she is refusing because of me, only tells me that they invited her and she refused with some excuses (most of the times lame). But noticing her behavior i can clear understand that she is refusing because of me, she doesnt need to tell me.
I really like this girl and i think she is in love with me, but a man can never takes a woman for granted (we always have to keep our game sharp). I will try to follow the guys advice of befriending her friends, but it is very difficult because she is not the kind of girl that always try to schedule something with friends every weekend (nowadays friends stay in touch everytime only using message apps on the phone hhehe!!). We are almost 5 months together ( i first met her around 9 months ago) and i only had the opportunity to meet these friends only one time....
I think she knows that i can walk away anytime if she does something that i would not approve, and this is something that is still keeping my game strong in this situation... but is very difficult to have a smooth relationship with temptation knocking your door everytime!!

[treypound]

Not sure if you have had the chance to hang out with her friends, but if you have, you should get a sense of the type of girls she is cool with. My father told me "birds of a feather flock together", and in my dating life, that has rung true a few times. A couple hard lessons later, I didn't pick up on red flags of friends on "harmless" girls nights or weekends out.

You should know her, and if she values you, then a harmless night out should be fine.

[arsenal2000]

The party and night life culture in Brazil is different . even if a girl starts the night out with a few friends they would run into other friends that would join them . It is a very open culture in south of America compared to other countries. If the others they meet invite for a after in a different place the social pressure would be to join them as well.There are too many variables than just the friends to think about with regards to parties in Brazil.

[ThrustMaster]

Allowing this to happen is not good. There are countless threads right here about how to separate women from the group, then deploy some boyfriend thermonuclear bunker busters. We have all banged women that “have a boyfriend”.

Danger.

[Conquerer7]

I have never got why a girl worth having an LTR with would want to go clubbing without you, even if her friends are moaning about it being 'girls only'. Go to a cafe, drinks in etc. It's funny when people use the excuse of the guy being insecure. Girls have no sense of the danger that they can put themselves in with just girls at a club in terms of being tempted to get with another guy, but rapes, fights etc. I know Rational Male had a post 'Girls Night Out' about just letting a girl go which is fine but if she does want to go without you I would demote to a plate and be showing less interest. Don't even ask to go when she brings it up. Use amused mastery to show the girl that you are not happy with her going clubbing without you and you will see if the girl will give it up for you. If she does not you have your answer. A good girl does not go to nightclubs even once a year. Nightclubs are for sluts. It has only been 30/40 years since women were first allowed to drink in pubs and so forth so it is a relatively new phenomenon.

I used to work in a few nightclubs and the mess of how these people would look when the lights came up. Especially the girls. Girls who looked really sexy, young and presentable earlier in the evening. Makeup everywhere, dresses falling apart, showing body parts, gaggling, acting masculine. It is not a good look and I rarely hit the nightclub now even if I was single. It does leave a nasty taste in your mouth nevermind how good it is to bang a slut.

I've banged a girl that was engaged to be married the next month after meeting her in a nightclub when I was 18. That was my red pill. Never contacted her again and got her out mines after she revealed that the next morning. She had no ring on. I, unfortunately, did not know her second name or where she was from so had no way of letting her fiancé know. Who knows how that has turned out.

I will say though that in terms of cheating. If a girl wants to she will find a way to do it anywhere. It is just that the environment of a nightclub has no benefits for an innocent LTR. It is a net negative for your girl to go clubbing. Out, drinking till the morning hours in a sweaty, hedonistic club full of sweaty, horny dudes who are only after one thing. Grabbing asses, trying to make out.These guys are violating your 'precious and innocent' LTR. If any of her friends are gay, single or even in an LTR they will be enabling after a few drinks. 'Don't worry i won't tell him.' Drinking alcohol which destroys a girls looks over time compared to men. Unable to do anything productive the next day. She will be a target for any guy there at the meat market.

Lastly, my gut feeling has been always right when dealing with girls and nights out. Don't settle. Have high standards and if you do not meet the one who reaches them, so be it.

[Conquerer7]

Funnily enough this just came up on my Youtube recommendations.