* Started off with the most productive week ever
* Fired the head of His music department, didn't hesitate to downsize His company by 1/3, created the universe's greatest barbecue
* Turned a spare rib into a woman
* Self-existent
* Omnipresent
* Omniscient
* Omnipotent
* Immutable
* Transcendent
* Eternal
* Knows how stupid you look when you're on the toilet with your pants down but won't dox you (Compassionate)
* Gets to enjoy the irony of being the creator of atheists
* Takes everyone's shit but keeps His cool and doesn't retaliate (for now)
* The ultimate and most competent single parent
* Lives alone, does whatever He likes according to His will, owns His own property
* Is ultimately responsible for everything yet still has all the time in the world
* Doesn't have to endure any nagging or risk losing His estate or custody of His children in a divorce
* Infinitely more virile than Genghis Khan
* Older than all of us, yet stronger and more alert
* Wrote a best seller, didn't take a penny
* Has more followers than all the Twitter, Facebook, Gab and Minds accounts in the world combined
* Young girls cover themselves from your male gaze and swear a vow of celibacy to worship Him
* No matter how alpha you think you are, He's the alpha and omega and women call out His name when you fuck them
* Vengeance is His
Not bad.
That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.
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