[Westcoast99]

she texted me again 20 min later
“Either your busy or hella ignoring me”

[Dulceácido]

She's on the hook.... LOL. I love it. You're in her head!

[PapayaTapper]

She aint got no boyfriend (as I suspected)...unless she's a super shady ho

I cosign the ignore maneuver. Its your day off and youre a high value guy who's out doing other stuff / chicks. Too busy to notice her texts and reward her with attention...right?

[AnonymousBosch]

(01-28-2018 06:47 AM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

Playing beer pong, cards, everything going good. But then I Tried to put my arm around her and she goes “i feel bad I think you may have gotten the wrong idea. I’m kind of seeing somebody. What did you expect to happen tonight?”

When you're hit with a statement like that, don't lose your cool, and don't get serious. Girls are always trying to trigger emotional reactions in you to see if you respond emotionally, as a Soy Boy would.

You could simply make your face unreadable - girls love this, always wanting to know what you're thinking and say, knowingly / skeptically, "Uh-huh," as you focus your attention back on the table.

The trick is not to sound butthurt or concerned, just more like you've been given some clarifying information. You'll want her to prod you further, as in "Uh-huh, what?"

"Well," you'd say, lining up your shot with precision, not looking at her. "From my experience, when girls say they're 'kind of seeing' a guy, they really mean 'he's kind of boring'." Then make bemused eye contact.

Watch her hamster spin. I mean, she's not that kind of girl and you're definitely not having sex tonight!

Otherwise, just tease her for playing such stupid games with you, with the implication you're both just having a good time so why bring the mood down with a stupid question like "What did you expect to happen tonight?"

Be as glib and dryly-sarcastic as you want. Use your own words though:

"That'd at some point you'd ask me what I expected to happen tonight."

"That we'd saving the world together by dawn. We can start by rescuing kittens from trees."

"Ask the cops tomorrow when they're reading us a list of the laws we broke together."

Or, completely-stone faced, throw her in the deep end:

"Being honest? Your boyfriend asked me to keep you busy for a while. I really shouldn't tell you this, but he's organising plane tickets to Vegas tonight so he can surprise you by flying you down there to tie the knot tomorrow. I'd better warn you though: I always cry at weddings."

You get the idea. The worst thing she can accuse you of is not being serious, in which case, you agree and amplify.

----

An recent incident with my girlfriend:

Bill had turned up before I got back home after we'd been helping a friend move a fridge that my girlfriend had spent two hours cleaning up the night before. She asked him if it fit into the new kitchen or not.

He'd looked concerned, and explained it went well, until "Bosch dropped his end of the fridge. I don't know if we'll be able to get the dents back out but they should be able to make do."

One worried phone call from her a minute later, and I said, in a very concerned and patronising tone: "You tell him that I know the reality of aging is very hard to deal with, and sometimes, out of of embarrassment, old men will have to blame their own accidents on others so they don't feel so past it, but there's services for the elderly that he can contact who can help deal with these mental issues."

She relayed the message, confused, and I heard him say "Oh, good one."

The next day, she saw the (undented) fridge in place, instantly-realised the score, and groaned aloud in frustration. "Oh, you two are awful!"

But there was the hint of laughter behind it.

Girls hate certainty. Don't ever give it to them.

-----

An Advanced Game tidbit:

I stayed in on New Year's Eve: I was too tired to go out after six solid days of cleaning out a very feral house and trying to get an abandoned kid on his feet. My girlfriend wanted to go out to a party with her friends, and was getting sulky that I didn't want to go.

"I need a quiet night to rest. Go out, have fun."

You think she would have understand just how much I'd been dealing with, and see that I'd earnt the rest, but, well, Girl Brain: she instantly had to speak in Emotional terms. "Aren't you worried about me going without you?"

Me, really having no time for this: "If you meet a man tonight who has more to offer you than I do, then you have my permission to fuck him."

She was silent for a minute, then called me 'arrogant', but she was home by 1 am, and wasn't drunk.

-----
[quote='westcoast99']
she texted me again 20 min later
“Either your busy or hella ignoring me”

She, baiting you with emotion again. If she brings it up in person, just dismiss it with. "I've been hella busy. It's not all about you."

[Rhyme or Reason]

Quote:

Girls hate certainty. Don't ever give it to them.

Damn AB just knows how to cut straight to the heart of the matter.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-29-2018 06:03 PM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

she texted me again 20 min later
“Either your busy or hella ignoring me”

Seeing you at the party with the friends was probably a test (wanted to see you interacting with other people or if her friends like you) or a trap, she could find safe there because nothing could happen with other people around.

If you want get her the key is isolation, after her message will Invite her, where you want, set you rules. Like "tomorrow evening after work at 6 pm will go in my favorite bar to drink some of their amazing cocktails, would you like to come"?

If she doesn't accept try to be persistent, and try to ignoring her a little bit ALWAYS WITH CALIBRATION, her weapons are butt and boobs your weapon is the attention you can both give and cut.

Try to get her now, she may change her mood in next days.... Do this if you want get her, if you want to quit (as other users suggested) because you work together stop the game, but since you were already playing I would close.....

[ShuaiGe]

You didn't not try, so congratulations, you are going to get laid by some number of the girls you pursue by continuing to pursue new girls, maybe not this one but she doesn't matter. Just be on your guard after rejection about being overtaken by a mindset that won't help you. Stay positive.

My guess is that she responded to your advance in the way that she did because other people could see, could judge, could tell other people.

After a few days of not masturbating (something which I think helps a lot) aren't there some girls who you would gladly put your penis inside but you wouldn't want others to see you holding hands? Girls are like this ×2 . That girl probably wants to do all kinds of "disgusting" things with you that would make the priest in the confessional feel that he has no choice but to refuse her absolution. And, she's certainly more likely to decide she wants to act on these impulses she has if no one else is around.

This is why isolation is such an important thing

[heavy]

You went to her party and didn't know anyone. Tough setup to begin with.

I've done this a few times, even with a friend. It's an uphill battle. Easy to be a little embarrassed when you realize you're in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[augen sehen]

(01-28-2018 06:53 AM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

This girl is not LTR material, especially seeing her at the party smoking weed, tequila, and cursing like a sailor. And I am looking for a LTR. However I still am not happy being used like that. Thank you.

This is not the way to go. Girls can see this coming from a mile away and this puts you in the beta bucks category.

Girls want the happy-go-lucky alpha guy who is happily single. They want to hook him and convert him. The more he resists, the more they want to hook him, it drives them mad.

On the other hand, if you are like a puppy, eager to be adopted, guess what? You're just cute. Not attractive. Read the Book of Pook https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1333...ok-of-pook

Think about why women like cats. Think about why men like dogs.

[dknightbro]

Focus on work.

Why would you care about how well you game at work? I could be humiliated at work, but the last thing I'm worried about is girls.

I have my share of opportunities at work to game, but I never judge my game based on work game. You automatically operate at a disadvantage by default (can't run full alpha red pill game in a blue pill environment).

Go out into the field & run red-blooded game. THEN determine where your game needs work.

[Bain]

Damage is done. Error was mostly from her side. Just keep it professional now and really move on.

[xxMarco]

Just friend zone that ho and pivot her for social proof when you go out.

Call her dude and treat her like a child at work. When she tries to get close and Play games just brush it off and keep it cool and playful.

Can't take these girls seriously especially at that age.

[General Stalin]

She invited you over for a house party straight out.

That is usually not a good sign to begin with as it means she's not into you enough to want to get one-on-one time with you and/or just wants to pad her social status with having more random faces around. Hell she may even be thinking about setting you up with one of her hood rat friends.

In hindsight: you should have refused the invite to the part "Got plans with some people that night but lets get a drink next week"
Don't go to parties if you don't like to party - sounds like you don't. If you're gonna go and you want to look high value then you need to participate and be a beacon of fun and energy at said party.

Moving forward: just be friendly to her at the workplace and reel back your attention to her. I wouldn't hit her up for plans either - let her come to you and maybe play a little hard to get. Like I said before if she texts you for plans again decline her first offer and offer another day "I got plans that night but lets grab a drink thurs"

[Dulceácido]

Paging Mr. WestCoast... How about an update here?

[Westcoast99]

I waited 7 hrs Monday to reply:
“Was seeing someone out of town”

Could tell by iPhone dots she wrote something to respond but decided not to.

Yesterday was texting back and forth and she was complaining work took away some of her hours.

I texted her: sounds like ur trying to practice beer pong. Get on my level. Her- no response.

Working with her now not really sure how to act lol. It’s a hotel where we will be working alone for last few hours. She is front desk I’m a bellman. It’s a dead end job about to quit.

Have to see her every time I go up to a room not fun.

[Dulceácido]

Damn... You should've ignored her text. Sounds like she's back to gaming you again after the attention.

[kaotic]

Just act normal and aloof at this point.

Ignore stupid complaining texts from her and only respond if she's interested in hanging out.

[Sonoma]

Judging by your username, you sound way too young to be hoping for an LTR

Don't put any thought into her, she's a ho with a BF and I'd just let that be. In 6 months when she's single you'll get the text you want.

Also, don't shit where you eat, especially with all of this chicks red flags

[Westcoast99]

I think The ship sailed on this. She texted Monday basically asking to hanging out, as I mentioned, and i didn’t respond for 8 hours trying to DHV. Might not have been the smartest move.

I just really don’t like the idea of answering to her beckon call 48 hrs after being friend zoned. I like setting up the date and time, not the other way around which is why I didn’t answer.

Unrelated question- 3 set Italian group I approached solo in Madrid, the least attractive one was feeling me...how do I weasel my way to the more attractive ones?

[PapayaTapper]

(01-31-2018 09:53 PM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

Unrelated question- 3 set Italian group I approached solo in Madrid, the least attractive one was feeling me...how do I weasel my way to the more attractive ones?

You cant figure out how to stay out of the friend zone with one girl thats moderately into you (warm) but now you want to know how to cold work a 3 set?

[Kieran]

If you're making threads for advice on how to get this girl then you're too invested and won't be able to behave in a way that's attractive to her when you're around her. Stop reading this thread, stop thinking about how you can get her, and stop any investment of time and effort in her. The investment makes you feel something for her, then you spend time thinking about her or how to get her, and this increases the feeling of want / investment in a vicious cycle. Write off any effort you've put in as a sunk cost, get yourself back centred, and don't communicate with her until you are. Then make her investband get her thinking about you and chasing your validation not the other way around.

[RedPillUK]

(01-29-2018 07:25 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

An Advanced Game tidbit:

I stayed in on New Year's Eve: I was too tired to go out after six solid days of cleaning out a very feral house and trying to get an abandoned kid on his feet. My girlfriend wanted to go out to a party with her friends, and was getting sulky that I didn't want to go.

"I need a quiet night to rest. Go out, have fun."

You think she would have understand just how much I'd been dealing with, and see that I'd earnt the rest, but, well, Girl Brain: she instantly had to speak in Emotional terms. "Aren't you worried about me going without you?"

Me, really having no time for this: "If you meet a man tonight who has more to offer you than I do, then you have my permission to fuck him."

She was silent for a minute, then called me 'arrogant', but she was home by 1 am, and wasn't drunk.

Solid gold. I'm stealing that one. It truly is advanced game, because you have to fully mean what you're saying, and have a lot of confidence in yourself to say something like that. You also have to be comfortable saying or doing things differently to everyone else. Then something like this comes naturally.

I don't think that would work if you said it 'as a joke', or interrupted the awkward silence to make it less awkward. Or if you were actually scared of losing her, or cheating on you.

You have to seriously mean it, and say it in a way that shows you mean it, and soak up that glorious silence. When she called you arrogant afterwards, what would be running through my mind is 'Checkmate'.

[RedPillUK]

(02-01-2018 03:45 PM)Kieran Wrote:  

If you're making threads for advice on how to get this girl then you're too invested and won't be able to behave in a way that's attractive to her when you're around her. Stop reading this thread, stop thinking about how you can get her, and stop any investment of time and effort in her. The investment makes you feel something for her, then you spend time thinking about her or how to get her, and this increases the feeling of want / investment in a vicious cycle. Write off any effort you've put in as a sunk cost, get yourself back centred, and don't communicate with her until you are. Then make her investband get her thinking about you and chasing your validation not the other way around.

Exactly and learn some damn game too.

Reading between the lines, you don't have any game, because you're doing silly things like friendzoning yourself by texting back and forth all day (just don't, it makes you look lame) or thinking "I'm kind of seeing someone" is some kind of embarrasing rejection rather than an inviting opportunity.

You also sound kind of sheltered and socially awkward. You feel uncomfortable being at a party because it's in the ghetto part of town... with Mexicans who are only 21 and they're smoking weed and you're white?

Holy shit! Better get out of there fast man before the cartel turn up at the party and decide to make a pinata out of the nerdy gringo kid!

You found out they were actually not that bad, the best way to lose your social anxiety is to put yourself in many different situations and socialise with many different types of people, not just the people or situations you like being in. Eventually you will just be confident and decent at socialising with any type of people in any setting.

Imagine if you felt confident about not being Mexican and not smoking weed at that party. You embraced it and played it up a little, made jokes about it and spoke to everyone, even the people who look as if they don't like you, people might start to see you as the most interesting guy at that party.

They would think "who the fuck is this guy?". Rather than "who's that guy who's not talking to anyone and came by himself? what a loser, let's avoid him".

And you would probably be thinking to yourself "I could get with this work chick, but her hotter friend seems interested as well.. I'll just take her home, and congratulate work chick on her boyfriend, no need for that work drama in my life."

As you're the unknown different guy, that can make you interesting by default. You can be the cool guy who people are interested to get to know or the weirdo who doesn't have any friends and shouldn't have crashed the party.

And if people seem like they're ignoring you or don't like you, it's normally because they're fucking socially awkward as well, you have to go out of your way to talk to these people and they generally lighten up very quickly.

We can give you some game advice and you might be satisfied for a day.
However read, study and figure things out for yourself when you run into a problem and you will be satisfied for a lifetime ...

OK if someone can adapt that 'teach a man to fish' saying to game better than I can, please do.