[The Alpha Virgin]

Do you ever get validation from being a player or good with women? Or have you done so in the past?

I can admit that I have, guess I'd still do to some degree if I was single again. I'm in my late 20's now and I had such an underachievement with girls growing up, was a late bloomer.

When I finally started to get a couple lays I think it got to my head to the point I felt a need to overcompensate and tell the whole world about how much of a Don Juan I was and that I could get laid.
I bragged a lot to my friends and soon I felt this need somehow to teach other guys and portray myself as a guru (even though I actually was still far from experienced, like an alpha virgin).

It got less over the years but I really didn't stop with it until I met my first girlfriend last year and got some time to reflect on some previous years.

Being in a relationship now I think I see this everywhere, so many guys (usually younger) doing this.

But what's your thoughts on drawing validation from women or being good with them?

[Dulceácido]

I see what you're saying. My validation, obviously, is getting the girl. What does that validate? The more than 20 PUA books I've studied religiously, all the time I devoted to learning these things, how it changed my life (for the better).

I have two guys that I'm reading onto Game. One guy has done a complete revolution in the way his life was going. He hadn't been laid in 3 years and after 3 months of me giving him tips, he has banged 3 chicks in the last two weeks. Game just changes your life in so many positive ways. The inner game part and just becoming a better person is a great feeling.

[ShuaiGe]

(01-26-2018 11:30 PM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

Do you ever feel like a badass for fucking women like a badass?

Yes.

What kind of thread is this?

[Laner]

I get it.

Yes. Its what drove me to be a player.

[Suits]

It's the only thing that I draw validation from.

[The Alpha Virgin]

(01-27-2018 12:04 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

I see what you're saying. My validation, obviously, is getting the girl. What does that validate? The more than 20 PUA books I've studied religiously, all the time I devoted to learning these things, how it changed my life (for the better).

I have two guys that I'm reading onto Game. One guy has done a complete revolution in the way his life was going. He hadn't been laid in 3 years and after 3 months of me giving him tips, he has banged 3 chicks in the last two weeks. Game just changes your life in so many positive ways. The inner game part and just becoming a better person is a great feeling.

Are you saying it's more that you're proud of your own hard work and dedication to get out of your comfort-zone? I would get that and it seems reasonable to get validation from the fact that you've taken a lot of action.

But I suppose there's a difference too. Sometimes you can be on a dryspell for a very long time, just get rejections and have awful results with girls but still put in the hard work. Do you feel down and worse about yourself then?

I mean, if a guy builds his self-esteem on just the results with girls and getting external validation from western sluts women I think he is in for some problem.

(01-27-2018 03:32 AM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

(01-26-2018 11:30 PM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

Do you ever feel like a badass for fucking women like a badass?

Yes.

What kind of thread is this?

Ok I believe you. And here's actually a post I found from you (you don't have that many posts so was easy)...

(12-16-2017 11:50 AM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

I am beside myself right now I'm so happy, i have never had 3 new notches within a week. 14th of my life.

Also Today I woke up at a past girls house and we had sex just after waking up, so today is also my first time ever to have sex with two girls in one day. I'm pumped about it.

So it's clear to say that you are obviously very happy about yourself that women like you and you think it's absolutely fantastic how you managed to sleep with two seperate girls in one day. This external validation you get from women wanting to be with you makes you feel fulfilled in life.

But question is what kind of girls are the ones you're with really?

Are you getting validation from being able to sleep with a virtous, righteous girl with morals, no or low notch count who would almost never dream of having sex before marriage if it wasn't because she liked you for who you really was as a person?
I believe it would make more sense to be proud that so many good women wanted to sleep with you in particular then.

What I'm kind of guessing though is that you slept with girls who are what lot of guys on this forum and in general are complaining about - easy western sluts who has fucked a lot of other dudes besides you and choose their sex partners on shallow criterias.

What makes you really that unique or a badass then if many other men can already do the same thing?

[Montrose]

Who cares what other men can do? Master Yagyu once remarked : « I don’t know the way to surpass others; I know the way to surpass myself »

[KMK]

There's no shame in feeling like a badass for having a good sex life.

But never brag to other men about it. You don't want to invite thirsty dregs into your life.

[ShuaiGe]

(01-27-2018 08:04 AM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

(01-27-2018 12:04 AM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

I see what you're saying. My validation, obviously, is getting the girl. What does that validate? The more than 20 PUA books I've studied religiously, all the time I devoted to learning these things, how it changed my life (for the better).

I have two guys that I'm reading onto Game. One guy has done a complete revolution in the way his life was going. He hadn't been laid in 3 years and after 3 months of me giving him tips, he has banged 3 chicks in the last two weeks. Game just changes your life in so many positive ways. The inner game part and just becoming a better person is a great feeling.

Are you saying it's more that you're proud of your own hard work and dedication to get out of your comfort-zone? I would get that and it seems reasonable to get validation from the fact that you've taken a lot of action.

But I suppose there's a difference too. Sometimes you can be on a dryspell for a very long time, just get rejections and have awful results with girls but still put in the hard work. Do you feel down and worse about yourself then?

I mean, if a guy builds his self-esteem on just the results with girls and getting external validation from western sluts women I think he is in for some problem.

(01-27-2018 03:32 AM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

(01-26-2018 11:30 PM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

Do you ever feel like a badass for fucking women like a badass?

Yes.

What kind of thread is this?

Ok I believe you. And here's actually a post I found from you (you don't have that many posts so was easy)...

(12-16-2017 11:50 AM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

I am beside myself right now I'm so happy, i have never had 3 new notches within a week. 14th of my life.

Also Today I woke up at a past girls house and we had sex just after waking up, so today is also my first time ever to have sex with two girls in one day. I'm pumped about it.

So it's clear to say that you are obviously very happy about yourself that women like you and you think it's absolutely fantastic how you managed to sleep with two seperate girls in one day. This external validation you get from women wanting to be with you makes you feel fulfilled in life.

But question is what kind of girls are the ones you're with really?

Are you getting validation from being able to sleep with a virtous, righteous girl with morals, no or low notch count who would almost never dream of having sex before marriage if it wasn't because she liked you for who you really was as a person?
I believe it would make more sense to be proud that so many good women wanted to sleep with you in particular then.

What I'm kind of guessing though is that you slept with girls who are what lot of guys on this forum and in general are complaining about - easy western sluts who has fucked a lot of other dudes besides you and choose their sex partners on shallow criterias.

What makes you really that unique or a badass then if many other men can already do the same thing?

Man, you're taking this shit too seriously.

Okay let's get deep.
I grew up in a home where religion was the foundation of everything, later I realized that the story Christianity doesn't make logical sense. despite my desire to believe that my life had God given meaning and my desire to believe in an afterlife, I lost that comfort, I lost that source of validation. In short, it was crushing because my life suddenly had "no meaning". But later I realized it's total bullshit to say that because life is so precious.

The important lesson I learned that allowed me to pull myself out of that feeling of emptiness was this: You give your own life meaning, you have value as a person because you say so, and that is irrefutable. I love myself because in my eyes I'm great, and due to us all equally having no God given value, there's nothing you can say that will convince me that what I consider important or validating isn't important and validating, including having sex with women.

Your original post sounds like you're suffering from that feeling of emptiness, and that's a very human thing to do so that's fine. But, what do you care why the people here are fucking? I certainly don't care why you are, but, @Alpha Virgin, I hope that you and I and everyone can improve our game of skill to get that girl into bed when she comes around. If something else is important to you, you should go diligently pursue that thing.

Finally, in my opinion, the best ways to demonstrate one's love for oneself is through self improvement. One of a handful of ways I like to demonstrate that self love is I hit the gym, because I believe that if I don't then I'm cheating myself out of what I deserve because I'm me and I say that I'm worth it.

Do this logic sound repetitive? That's because it is. It's a positive cycle and I encourage you to use it.

I believe I have value because I have value because I believe I have value because I have value because I believe I have value because I have value.

And anyone who wants to challenge that idea, they don't bother me at all, because they aren't where I get my sense of self worth from. My actual reason I'm trying this out is to help you or someone out there reading this, so you're welcome, @Alpha Virgin.

[Dulceácido]

I'm not proud of my hard work; that's expected. I'm proud of the results and the impact it has had on my life and what I've been able to share with others. In fact, I just had another member PM me 2 days ago who said he used my advice verbatim with a girl he had been struggling with. After he took my advice she was at his house and he got the notch in less than hour. I'm stoked for him and, yeah, I derive a sense of validation from that.

I look at it like this: getting chicks is everything. Why do you want to be rich? To get chicks. Why do you want to be successful? To get chicks. Why do you put so much time in the gym? Why do you read books to expand your knowledge? Why do you play a musical instrument? Why do you want to be famous? All of these things have their own merit and are fulfilling in other ways, but for me, personally, it's definitely not so I can impress my male friends. It's to be more desirable to women.

I can easily imagine how, once you have a family, all that shit I just said goes out the window and you have new priorities. But, for me, right now, that's where I'm at.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

I don't care about validation in this respect.

I care about being able to fuck a hot girl half my age who is actually into me sexually.

If I could attain that goal by being born more good-looking or famous, then I would do it. Fame as #metoo has proven is only partly a tool to attain hot sex since many men get only transactional sex from the women.

But honestly - being able to seduce women is a fundamental integral part of being a man - sure there are men who really truly do not care, but the majority do.

[BlackFriar]

It is just a benchmark of your current and future potential achievement.

[Synezthetic]

(01-27-2018 08:04 AM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

(12-16-2017 11:50 AM)ShuaiGe Wrote:  

I am beside myself right now I'm so happy, i have never had 3 new notches within a week. 14th of my life.

Also Today I woke up at a past girls house and we had sex just after waking up, so today is also my first time ever to have sex with two girls in one day. I'm pumped about it.

So it's clear to say that you are obviously very happy about yourself that women like you and you think it's absolutely fantastic how you managed to sleep with two seperate girls in one day. This external validation you get from women wanting to be with you makes you feel fulfilled in life.

But question is what kind of girls are the ones you're with really?

Are you getting validation from being able to sleep with a virtous, righteous girl with morals, no or low notch count who would almost never dream of having sex before marriage if it wasn't because she liked you for who you really was as a person?
I believe it would make more sense to be proud that so many good women wanted to sleep with you in particular then.

What I'm kind of guessing though is that you slept with girls who are what lot of guys on this forum and in general are complaining about - easy western sluts who has fucked a lot of other dudes besides you and choose their sex partners on shallow criterias.

What makes you really that unique or a badass then if many other men can already do the same thing?

I think it all depends on where you are on the process of self-improvement. In the beginning, if I learn some game, work out, improve myself and then notice the notches start to come in, I could care less about how virtuous these girls are or what their personalities are like - because I'm first and foremost focused on myself, and certainly not spending my time worrying about other men. Regardless of societal conditions, if you start having a lot more sex and you feel more confident as a man, you're doing something right. The worst thing you can do at that point, is to undo all that confidence by comparing yourself to men who may be way ahead of you in the process, and start coming up with reasons why your success was undeserved.

Even worse, I've seen men who never even have any real success with women start thinking in these terms, and end up using it as justification for why they failed.

Engaging in this negative behavior early on is how men end up black-pilled and defeated.

[RatInTheWoods]

Being externally validated is a fool's errand.

There isn't anything outside of you that can validate you or make you happy.

Its all internal. You don't need notches to to have a high opinion of yourself.

[Steelex]

I really enjoy the ego trip of being eye fucked and adored by women. I like it that they want to parade me around as a catch.

It's a power thing. I love being better than them. I love that my entire fucking life smokes theirs in so many ways.

Fucking them is just that final let down.

In all reality, you could say this is like comparing your accomplishments to those of a person with down syndrome. It's a childish exercise in external validation. The real game is to be better than other men.

Life is chess. Women are candy land. Who wants to be the Gary Kasparov of fucking candy land?