[ìlikegirls]

Hello guys,

I knew this girl before Christmas in a trip (I travel often), I took her contact. She lives in another country in Europe easy to reach with low cost flights (few Euros).

She looked very interested, flirted a lot, she sent me some hot photos with whatsapp for example, and she wrote a lot too. We talked about a meeting I tried to invite her here but she didn't come (is normal is very hard the girl moves for you..). She said many times "come here and we will go out for a dinner" ect. I proposed to go the second weekend of January she said that probably she might be busy so she asked me if 19-20 weekend was fine. We did both agree for 19-20 weekend. She wrote to me a lot during the week before talking about where to go and what to do with her, she asked me to send the address of the flat I wanted to take she would help me telling if it was in a good place, she seemed really interested.
But a the end I didn't go last weekend because I had a sport injury few days before departure.

I wrote to her this Monday telling "I will come 26-27 weekend, will book you for the weekend". She reacted in a strange way, I would say "out of control". She said yes, then she started talking about her boyfriend because she will go out with a "stranger man" so he doesn't know what to tell to him. Then she told a lot of things, a lot of double binds telling things without logic. I would say the idea of seeing me will put her out of control, she also said that. One day she blocked me on whatsApp telling not to come, then in the evening she wrote me on Skype telling to come. As I said "out of control".

I booked everything for this weekend, just low cost flight and Airbnb flat. I made an insurance for 10 Euros I can delete everything and having full money back.

What do you think about her behavior?

Thanks in advance.

[ProGambler]

You gave up the power and booked to come for her. I doubt it will work out for you.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-25-2018 12:54 PM)ProGambler Wrote:  

You gave up the power and booked to come for her. I doubt it will work out for you.

Can't understand, can you please explain me well where I made the mistake you said?

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(01-25-2018 12:55 PM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

(01-25-2018 12:54 PM)ProGambler Wrote:  

You gave up the power and booked to come for her. I doubt it will work out for you.

Can't understand, can you please explain me well where I made the mistake you said?

I think the mistake began, when she talked about her boyfriend while you are banking on the bang.

Read up on Krauser - he does this kind of Euro-jaunting as he calls it all the time. If you are flying over just for one girl without any other backup plans or skill/time to run daygame if it does not work out with her - then too bad.

There is a lot you need to learn, though it looks as if you started out well, just too set on one girl.

[BlackFriar]

I have done something like this before. It is better to go to some place first, alreadyand then get women to meet you.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-26-2018 04:29 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

(01-25-2018 12:55 PM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

(01-25-2018 12:54 PM)ProGambler Wrote:  

You gave up the power and booked to come for her. I doubt it will work out for you.

Can't understand, can you please explain me well where I made the mistake you said?

I think the mistake began, when she talked about her boyfriend while you are banking on the bang.

What does boyfriend matter? She could talk about her husband and about her children, but if he accepts to see you alone where is the problem?


Talking about boyfriend could be an obstacle to stop you, or a test, anyway I don't think was the main problem since we where talking about a meeting, and I was conducting her to meet me while I wasn't care about her bullshit. She was talking about her boyfriend but she was also talking about what to do with me in her town...so... just girl bullshit.
While she was talking about boyfriend for example said that she wants to have kids, and asked me if I want them..... I told her I have a girlfriend too (my bullshit), she talked a lot trying to convince me to leave her. A girl with zero interest wouldn't making all this emotional drama, investing so many energy and also try to piss off on your girlfriend? If interest is zero she only stops to answer you.
As I told she started getting out of control with her emotions, making drama, extreme push n pull, blocking and contacting me during the same day. I wouldn't stop about the only word "boyfriend"....

Who is Krauser?

I can flight where I want, if with girl goes wrong, where is the problem? When you date a girl are you always 100% sure to fuck here? Because I may always be rejected in every circumstance, one time happened to me (with another girl) while we were both naked in the bed and she had my cock in her hands. So if goes wrong with her? payed a 50 Euros flight, I went out with a girl, saw a new town, tried new restaurants.... Instead of staying at home during weekend. And also your girlfriend may reject you..... so......

As for the giving up my power I'm not completely sure because you give up the power (in every situation) when you leave others to control you, can be at work, with your friends in family etc. If for example you pretend to giving up the power and you do what others want (always pretending to be controlled by them) you are not giving up the power, since you are pretending, and you know what is happening.


I could take a flat 50 meters away from girl home, then telling her I'm working on pc and let her waiting for me. Or I can also decide not to see her if she behaves in a way I don't like..... so.... I don't think that was the problem.


For sure I made one or more mistakes, because this weekend I would stay at home. I canceled the trip yesterday, was a gut decision. I'm glad to listen to your advices and don't hesitate to ask me extra info, but please give me some constructive ones. I think I made the main error not to go to see her last weekend, seems that I lost the "chance" and in the middle she had kind of "buyer's remorse", maybe also realizing she was going to cheat her boyfriend with another man... who knows....

Anyway she thinks I'm leaving to see her, didn't tell her I cancel the trip. I'm still not decided about what to to, if telling something to refuse her "like I don't like girls who make so much hormonal drama" or maybe writing to her on Tuesday saying I was ill and couldn't write to her before because I was sick that's why I couldn't depart. Or it would be nice also telling her where to come to see then left her waiting for me. This would be so funny to do but I think after that she won't answer me anymore.... but it would be funny!

[The Alpha Virgin]

The only reason to book a flight far away and go and see a girl so far away is if she's absolutely stand out amazing in every sense and that there's a chance that it could lead to something long term with kids etc.

But she has a boyfriend and is willing to cheat on him? Come on, man. If she's willing to cheat on him with you, she's most probably gonna cheat on you aswell at some point if you got into a relationship.

You don't book flight tickets for a slut.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-26-2018 06:59 AM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

The only reason to book a flight far away and go and see a girl so far away is if she's absolutely stand out amazing in every sense and that there's a chance that it could lead to something long term with kids etc.

But she has a boyfriend and is willing to cheat on him? Come on, man. If she's willing to cheat on him with you, she's most probably gonna cheat on you aswell at some point if you got into a relationship.

You don't book flight tickets for a slut.

I think a girl would be more interested in cheating her boyfriend with a man who is not from the town... I don't care what she does, and why I have to have kids with her?

50 Euros flight is for you a big investment? if you pay one slut maybe you have to pay more.

One day I asked her one favor, to call one company in another country for a payment reminder I was waiting from them, she did that immediately, she was also good because I got payment immediately after her call. So... if a girl has zero interest would make this?

[ìlikegirls]

(01-26-2018 06:28 AM)BlackFriar Wrote:  

I have done something like this before. It is better to go to some place first, alreadyand then get women to meet you.

for example? what would you have done in my situation?

[The Alpha Virgin]

(01-26-2018 07:07 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

I think a girl would be more interested in cheating her boyfriend with a man who is not from the town...

50 Euros flight is for you a big investment? if you pay one slut maybe you have to pay more.

One day I asked her one favor, to call one company in another state for a payment reminder I was waiting for them, she did that immediately, she was also good because I got payment immediately after her call. So... if a girl has zero interest would make this?

It seems like you have already made up your mind on this anyway.

It's a bigger investment in terms of the time you are spending on her.

But I've slept with sluts who had boyfriends in the past and even though I felt validation and like I was this biggest alpha male in town cuckolding another dude, I'm telling you it's not going to fulfill you. Instead you'll look back on your own lack of integrity and just see it as something shameful and immoral, which it is. This isn't about banging a drop dead gorgeous girl, is it? It's about you getting a bit of validation in the end of the day.

And judging by her behaviour and that he blocked you from whatsapp at one point, tells me she's insecure about it and most probably will flake on you in the end when it really comes down to it.

Then she wins - she gets all the validation of you making a big effort and coming over to see her while you'll be alone with the dick in your hand in some shitty AirBnb unless you have backup plans.

But perhaps that lesson is what you need...

[ìlikegirls]

(01-26-2018 07:33 AM)The Alpha Virgin Wrote:  

(01-26-2018 07:07 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

I think a girl would be more interested in cheating her boyfriend with a man who is not from the town...

50 Euros flight is for you a big investment? if you pay one slut maybe you have to pay more.

One day I asked her one favor, to call one company in another state for a payment reminder I was waiting for them, she did that immediately, she was also good because I got payment immediately after her call. So... if a girl has zero interest would make this?

It seems like you have already made up your mind on this anyway.

It's a bigger investment in terms of the time you are spending on her.

But I've slept with sluts who had boyfriends in the past and even though I felt validation and like I was this biggest alpha male in town cuckolding another dude, I'm telling you it's not going to fulfill you. Instead you'll look back on your own lack of integrity and just see it as something shameful and immoral, which it is. This isn't about banging a drop dead gorgeous girl, is it? It's about you getting a bit of validation in the end of the day.

And judging by her behaviour and that he blocked you from whatsapp at one point, tells me she's insecure about it and most probably will flake on you in the end when it really comes down to it.

Then she wins - she gets all the validation of you making a big effort and coming over to see her while you'll be alone with the dick in your hand in some shitty AirBnb unless you have backup plans.

But perhaps that lesson is what you need...

I don't care about other dudes.

This girls is really gorgeous outside, and great personality too. She never made drama or crazy things before... Anyway is hunting, she worths a try.


She blocked me on whatsApp but after few hours she wrote me on Skype.
So.... female drama... Indeed she is insecure as all women, she told me that having me in her town was a big anxiety for her relationship. This is just my opinion: it seemed he used drama to control her sexual desire.... I liked since if she felt this way it means I gave her some emotions.


As I told you I canceled trip without telling it to her, was a gut decision. Maybe didn't have enough balls to see her, dare and accept the risk of being rejected. I don't know where is the problem the risk of being rejected is part of life, can happen with your wife too!

I want to try to cut communication just to see what can happen. For you? Will she try to contact me tomorrow (she still thinks I'm in her town), or nothing?

If she won't contact me again, probably she was sure about NOT to have sex with me. If she will contact me again, emotions are stronger than fidelity....

Man shitty airbnb not! I booked one of the top flat there! I like travel with all comforts!

Big investment of time depends of many things, if you love traveling and where you go. If you go in a shit hole place for seeing a girl yes it is! But for example if you like Manhattan and you have to go there, why is so big investment of time?

Thanks for your answer!

[Dulceácido]

Why would you spend this much energy on a girl with a boyfriend? There are only 4 billion other girls on the planet.... Some are gay, so you lose a few there. Some have incurable sexually transmitted diseases, so you lose a few there. Some are married or have boyfriends that they are faithful to, so you lose a few there. But there are a LOT of girls out there. How many girls do you think you could've been gaming (single girls-no attachments) in all this time you've wasted with this chick you're obsessed with?

[kaotic]

Jesus talk about being pussy whipped.

This orange ain't worth the squeeze, move on.

She isn't anything special, she shits just like any other girl and gets dicked down like any other girl.

She isn't unique.

[Geomann180]

Don't date girls long distance.

It takes two very savvy, very committed people to make work. Distance takes in problems in the relationship, minor though they may be, and exacerbates them in a bigly way. A relationship that might have worked just fine could end too soon with just the right amount of distance.

I've had three long distance relationships*, all of them were virgins, all of them were marriage material in my mind, and all of them failed. The learning curve is steep and not always linear (you may learn the wrong lessons if you don't have the right paradigm or a good sounding board).

Unless you are highly experienced and highly sure you want and can make whatever relationship you're ailing about work, I recommend you avoid distance in excess as best you can.

G

*Yes - the common denominator in those relationships you can discern besides distance itself is me. I've turned down several opportunities to date because I knew I couldn't handle or didn't want to handle the distance. It doesn't mean I'll never do it again, but I at least know what the stakes are now.

[birthday cat]

First, try to make more of an effort to write clearly in complete sentences with correct grammar.

Second, I don't think you should be so dismissive of the advice in this thread. You might not think the advice from The Alpha Virgin is constructive but I think it is very good advice and I probably have much more experience than you with these types of situations.

You use a lot of terms like girl bullshit, drama, extreme push n pull, and emotions as if you have read about these topics but then you write many things that show you don't understand the fundamentals of women's behavior. One example...

(01-26-2018 06:46 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

What does boyfriend matter? She could talk about her husband and about her children, but if he accepts to see you alone where is the problem?

A girl accepting to meet you and a girl actually meeting you are two very different things especially when she has a boyfriend. Girls aren't so logical. They frequently say one thing and do another. She might have known she would never meet you. She might have been using you for the attention and just trying to see if you would plan a trip to see her.

It's rarely a good idea to make a trip just to see a girl who you don't know well. Girls are driven by attention and validation. It's very common for girls to seem very interested in seeing you before you make plans for your trip and then lose interest after they know you are coming or after you arrive. You validated her by telling her that you bought a flight and she knows you are coming primarily to see her. She loses interest after that because you already validated her and she begins to question why you are investing so much in her without knowing her well. She assumes you are low value and she can do better.

[ksbms]

(01-25-2018 11:59 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

I wrote to her this Monday telling "I will come 26-27 weekend, will book you for the weekend". She reacted in a strange way, I would say "out of control". She said yes, then she started talking about her boyfriend because she will go out with a "stranger man" so he doesn't know what to tell to him. Then she told a lot of things, a lot of double binds telling things without logic. I would say the idea of seeing me will put her out of control, she also said that. One day she blocked me on whatsApp telling not to come, then in the evening she wrote me on Skype telling to come.

You can fuck this girl (in principle). Classic sex/no-sex hindbrain/forebrain conflict. More precisely, her limbic, emotional and primitive brain wants your dick inside her. Her pre-frontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking is screaming no (boyfriend, cheating, etc.).

As I assume, you haven't kissed that girl (not that it's a deal breaker), meaning there's quite a few bridges to be closed. Of which, ironically, the n miles distance is the least important (I'm excluding money, but to my understanding, as the cost seems to be fine by you), certainly less important than the time you can potentially waste.

However, her having a huge internal conflict, this requires advanced game as your modus operandi is basically messaging - this is both a very limited and a powerful tool. I won't go how to do it because it is just basically a very long, difficult, prone to mistakes and complex process what you're trying to do (especially with a girl who claims she's got a boyfriend). Best suggestion is to read Krauser's blog posts and his Daygame Mastery.

Right now, you're in a long-game mode (this is is just a tiny snippet - Krauser devots many, many pages how to execute a successful long-game in his book). All urgency is gone, and the clock stopped ticking. There's no need for haste arrangements whatsoever. Usually, the end-game of the long-game is to have a girl verbally commit to have sex with you in no uncertain times before meeting her (this would still mean it's, in reality, 50-50 chance). Ideally, she comes to your city. If not, you both go to a neutral city. If not, which puts you at a weakest position, you go to her city, and ideally not only for her but with you having other potential leads.

However, as kaotic mentioned, more often than not, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Your OP tells me you're not at a stage where you can pull it of with, 50% probability of success. Reeling a girl in over long distance, with a boyfriend, whom you haven't prior kissed, just with messages requires flawless messaging game, deep, intuitive mind reading skills (aka theory of mind), and lots of messaging game experience with many girls. Give it a try, you'll definitely learn something but I wouldn't hold my breath you'll pull it off.

[BadgerHut]

OP spending a lot of words rationalizing and arguing with forum members, trying to justify spending his money and time to fly to see a girl he hasn't banged yet who says she has a boyfriend.

I give it 2/5 on the troll scale, and 4/5 on the clueless scale.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-26-2018 05:10 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-25-2018 11:59 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

I wrote to her this Monday telling "I will come 26-27 weekend, will book you for the weekend". She reacted in a strange way, I would say "out of control". She said yes, then she started talking about her boyfriend because she will go out with a "stranger man" so he doesn't know what to tell to him. Then she told a lot of things, a lot of double binds telling things without logic. I would say the idea of seeing me will put her out of control, she also said that. One day she blocked me on whatsApp telling not to come, then in the evening she wrote me on Skype telling to come.

You can fuck this girl (in principle). Classic sex/no-sex hindbrain/forebrain conflict. More precisely, her limbic, emotional and primitive brain wants your dick inside her. Her pre-frontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking is screaming no (boyfriend, cheating, etc.).

As I assume, you haven't kissed that girl (not that it's a deal breaker), meaning there's quite a few bridges to be closed. Of which, ironically, the n miles distance is the least important (I'm excluding money, but to my understanding, as the cost seems to be fine by you), certainly less important than the time you can potentially waste.

However, her having a huge internal conflict, this requires advanced game as your modus operandi is basically messaging - this is both a very limited and a powerful tool. I won't go how to do it because it is just basically a very long, difficult, prone to mistakes and complex process what you're trying to do (especially with a girl who claims she's got a boyfriend). Best suggestion is to read Krauser's blog posts and his Daygame Mastery.

Right now, you're in a long-game mode (this is is just a tiny snippet - Krauser devots many, many pages how to execute a successful long-game in his book). All urgency is gone, and the clock stopped ticking. There's no need for haste arrangements whatsoever. Usually, the end-game of the long-game is to have a girl verbally commit to have sex with you in no uncertain times before meeting her (this would still mean it's, in reality, 50-50 chance). Ideally, she comes to your city. If not, you both go to a neutral city. If not, which puts you at a weakest position, you go to her city, and ideally not only for her but with you having other potential leads.

However, as kaotic mentioned, more often than not, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Your OP tells me you're not at a stage where you can pull it of with, 50% probability of success. Reeling a girl in over long distance, with a boyfriend, whom you haven't prior kissed, just with messages requires flawless messaging game, deep, intuitive mind reading skills (aka theory of mind), and lots of messaging game experience with many girls. Give it a try, you'll definitely learn something but I wouldn't hold my breath you'll pull it off.

First of all thank you for your constructive comment.


Yeah I have your same feeling, huge conflict inside her, that can be represented like blocking me on whatsApp saying not to come but writing me in Skype telling me to go. As I wrote if a girls says she has a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend or what the fuck what she wants to have, it doesn't mean nothing if she accepts to see you alone.... that is my opinion.

She also made a lot of double binds.

Yeah if she comes to you have done the 60%, also a neutral city is good, I tried both but she didn't accept. Happened to me only 2 times that girls moved for me, 99% they don't. I think if you want to fuck you have to move... Is for you the same? Or are you able to make them come to you?

Anyway I didn't leave, - was my gut decision- but I wrote her that I was in in her town. Just to test her.

She wrote to me " I'm busy but I will try we too see " It doesn't mean nothing since is another controversial communication (she is playing too): So is hard figuring out something from her message. she offered first to see her, +1 score for me.

Now I will try a "machiavelli fake game" maybe asking her to come in my flat or in a bar or place I decide, then I have to tell her that I didn't' come hahahahaha, probably she would get very angry.

In my opinion she was trying to control her emotions and sexual desire, and for me emotions win on logic, but that's only a conjecture since I'm not there with her....

[Dulceácido]

Dude... I'm starting to question your sanity.

[ìlikegirls]

Just test the girl, she wanted really to see me. This morning she wanted to come to me, she was happy and excited, when I told her I wasn't there she got depressed.

1) She offered to met her first
2) She was playing
3) I would say she was hiding her emotions, but she was really interested, can't say about having sex you can say that only when it's happening.. but for sure she would give me a chance.
4) Only few comments here were constructive and probably from skilled men, other were just bullshit from inexperienced and frustrated people.

I'm not sadist just made this trick to know what was happening. She was playing/testing me/controlling her emotions, I didn't have enough balls to run the risk, so that's my fault.... Probably this is a right hook to her self esteem, she won't meet me anymore....

Today lesson: in life, in sport, in business and with girls too always dare.

[Geomann180]

OP, if you're not a troll, you need to forget this girl and move on. It's a lost cause.

Do what you need to, to get your mind off her and on to something or (preferably) someone else.

G

[arsenal2000]

(01-27-2018 04:47 AM)ìlikegirls Wrote:  

Just test the girl, she wanted really to see me. This morning she wanted to come to me, she was happy and excited, when I told her I wasn't there she got depressed.

if she wants give her the opportunity to come to your town and make it up. otherwise next

[Vaun]

You've built a fantasy in your head that this is worth pursuing, much less think too much about.

Go outside of your home and approach some women in your town, and learn how to meet and attract in your town first, before jumping on a plane to fly halfway around the world. Build up your self esteem and self confidence by first learning how to meet women in your immediate area. Your questions sound like they stem from loneliness, not some marvelous opportunity that popped up out of nowhere in another country.

If I remember correctly, a lot of sucker simps get rolled like this all the time in South America and Eastern Europe.

[John Dodds]

They invite and then bail or no show, it's a game they play just because they can, don't be that beta orbiter dope.
Better to get the girl to invest HER money to meet you.