[Statesman]

Introduction

Long time lurker, first time poster.

As this counts as my introduction to the forum, I may as well write up a little background on myself.

As above, I've been "on" the forum for around 7 years after being introduced to Roosh by my Dad. Back then, I spent most my early days - when I was a teenager - in the Lifestyle section. I credit that forum and the posters to a huge portion of where my life is today.

I'm self-employed, live life on as much of my own terms as possible and I'm in the best shape of my life.

(Slight detour - just some of the things I've picked up on the Lifestyle forum (before it was called 'Life') include: fixing a nagging muscle injury because of a simple warmup stretch I've never seen anywhere else, getting the direction that's led to where my career is today, style advice, and much more. I think my next new thread will compile the most important parts I implemented when I was a teenager, so others can get the same kick-start but in one place.)

As for game, I've been developing some kind of fundamental proficiency since school. My introspective nature and self-improvement bent has meant I've improved my game by trial and error.

Since I discovered RVF all those years ago, I've been in a couple LTRs for a total of 6 years. So really anything game-related I've looked at here has been with a focus on LTR management (before the Family forum).

As of September/October 2017, I've been single and more focused on game than ever. Details on my successes since are below.

I'm journaling my approaches/failures/successes here for a number of reasons:

• To be held accountable. I'm an introvert learning to be an extrovert - and it's going quite well - but sometimes I make excuses and won't approach for weeks.
• For no-BS advice from the RVF crew. Like I said above, I can credit this forum to massive amounts of my personal development. There's no other collection of like-minded people I'd rather learn from. That's my last brown-nosing.
• To log and learn from each approach. I've got my own log elsewhere, however I tend to skip on writing in it. I figure if there's multiple reasons to logging here (feedback, my own self improvement) then I'll be more inclined to.
  

Alright. With that all out there, here's some details:

Statesman's Logistics and Info

- I'm in one of the top 10 largest cities in the UK (not London) with a population of 400,000+. There's two large universities here and a thriving "young culture".

- Self-employed and work from my laptop. Most of my game is focused on day gaming. It fits with my lifestyle.

- Low-mid twenties. 5ft 10. Fairly good-looking. In decent shape (not jacked, but not out of shape at all). My most attractive feature is probably my smile (I didn't say I'd stop brown-nosing myself...).

- I live around 20 mins from the centre of the city, however I'm close to a lively road and there's plenty of students around.

- Big fan of travel - and now that I'm single I intend to travel a lot more.

- My style tends to be simple. Good-fitting jeans, t-shirt and high quality shoes. I'd say I'm closer to "pretty boy" than "rugged man" because of genetics, but my aim is always to dress (and hold a posture) in a way that conveys masculinity. It isn't hard, because my city's style isn't masculine. And that's why I do it. To stand out.

What Statesman's Game Looks Like - a Self-Assessment

Right off the bat, I'd say my biggest strength is gaming women when they're comfortable with me (with the caveat that there's always room for improvement) and my biggest weakness is approaching.

For the former, I take the piss. A lot. I'm able to display high value because of my life (I'm out the house and around my city 2-3 days a week, closing business deals, successful projects, etc.) I also think I'm able to balance the game/comfort stuff quite well too.

For the latter, I can really easily talk myself out of it. I'm still new to cold approaching, but it's definitely something I'm developing systems for fixing (i.e. starting the day socially, trying to talk to as many people as possible etc).

Since dedicating myself to learning and improving my game, my efforts have mostly been split between Tinder and day game. With a small amount of night game.

Here's how that's broken down in terms of lays:

Tinder: 3
Day game: 1
Night game: 1
Other social: 2

As of right now my two focuses are:

1. More day game approaches, less Tinder.
2. To not come on too strongly (playful, smiley) too early with girls I cold approach.

Why Day Game Over Night Game?

I know some will think it's wrong I focus on day game over the night time. Maybe they're right. However, for me the equation is simple...

Day game supplements my lifestyle. Night game doesn't.

I'm not a big drinker, I have a sleeping schedule and diet tailored to boost my professional performance. Etc. Etc. That's not to say I don't go out, but that I'm able to integrate day game with my general lifestyle (i.e. working in a coffee shop, reading in the park, whatever).

My Theory Reading and Progress So Far

I've already broken down my successes, but let me paint a bit more colour to what steps I've taken to improve my game.

Books I've read:

• Day Bang - Roosh
• Bang - Roosh
• The Rational Male - Rollo Tomassi
• The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene
• Conversation Casanova - Dave Perrotta
  

Day time approaches: 10+
Night time approaches: 2
Times I've gone out to day game and bottled it completely: 3+

What to Expect from this Thread

I'll be logging every approach I do - and even ones I wimp out on - with as much detail as I can give. I'll share my experiences and take feedback/criticisms/whatever from anyone on the forum.

For now, thanks for reading and time for me to make some approaches...

And if anyone wants to PM me, go ahead.

[Statesman]

Updates for today:

Approach #1: Saw a girl smoking a cigarette very early on in my day and decided I needed to get the ball rolling. Opened her with a simple question. We have a bit of back and forth, conversation is easy. Then she mentions she's 17 which, though legal, is still too young for me (you have to be 18 to buy tobacco and she looked at least 18). I thanked her for the help and wished her a pleasant day before carrying on.

I stop by a coffee shop and finished writing up the original post, make small talk with the baristas then it's out to approach.

I bottle a lot. For some reason I see a girl walking with headphones in - or even without - and think "if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to stop and talk." So I don't approach. It's made even more ridiculous by the fact I'd be more than happy to stop and talk to most people.

I also have an issue with stopping people who are going somewhere. I don't think I've ever stopped someone to open them, I've only opened people in bookshops, sitting down, etc. So my goal today was to stop someone walking...

Approach #2: After wimping out on a few more, I spot a girl about 20 metres away. I decide to open. I get half in-front, put my hand towards her and say "excuse me". I ask a question that usually leads to a conversation. After a minute or so she ejects saying she has to get back to work.

After this I basically bottle everything. With each girl I don't approach, my mood and vibe deteriorates. I start rationalizing why a girl isn't attractive enough... when they are. All ego self-defence shit.

What didn't help is a Tinder date I'm supposed to see tomorrow wants me to come over tonight. The motivation gets sucked out of you when you have a fullback.

Anyhow, glad I at least had something to write about today. I'll probably be back again with more approaches to log.

[Statesman]

Checking in.

The Tinder date I mentioned in the last post ended up as the first bang of 2018. Ended up spending the night at hers talking, getting drunk and generally having a good time. Though she's on the lower end of what I consider "good enough".

Yesterday (Monday) I had a lot of opportunities to open. However, I didn't open anyone. Partly because I was focused on my work. But also partly due to approach anxiety.

Which brings us to today. I was motivated from being such a bottlejob yesterday. In terms of opportunities, it was the polar opposite. My city was the quietest I've seen it in a long time.

Still, I managed to wimp out on the opportunities I did have - including a blonde who smiled at me. Very frustrating. But I still got one approach in...

Approach #1: We were walking alongside each other. I open with my usual opener asking for help with something. She's European and doesn't seem too receptive to me. We have a little chat before we part ways. I could've done better if I moved the conversation away from the opener and by being more assertive in continuing the conversation.

All in all, a couple frustrating days of day game.

Approach anxiety is killing me. Though I don't feel it's the only thing stopping me. Another aspect is the feeling that I've wasted my time if I get to asking for the number and get the "I have a boyfriend" response. I know it's something I need to "charge to the game"... I just hate wasting my time.

The solution is probably to reframe it as an opportunity to improve my game.

[torridon747]

Don't stop at "I have a boyfriend". Half the time it's an auto response and she doesn't have an actual boyfriend. Have fun with it, don't let it get you down. Say

"Do you love him"? It breaks them out and makes them think. You'll be surprised at how many say "no". The rest will hesitate, call them out on it

Or

"That's not a position I'm applying for at the moment but let's grab a drink later *hand phone over with add new contact screen*"

I think of it this way. Most younger girls don't have a boyfriend for real they have some fuckboy who comes and fucks them once in a while. The reasons girls say that shit is because they're self conscious. How lame would they be if they couldn't attract a man? Why are they even entertaining the idea of you? Because you're an upgrade, thats why. Once in a while you'll meet a nice girl with no intention of letting things escalate because she's in love with her man. The more you see that type of thing the easier it is to recognize, I eject then. But for your garden variety hoe? Press on.

[Statesman]

(01-16-2018 12:19 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

I think of it this way. Most younger girls don't have a boyfriend for real they have some fuckboy who comes and fucks them once in a while. The reasons girls say that shit is because they're self conscious. How lame would they be if they couldn't attract a man? Why are they even entertaining the idea of you? Because you're an upgrade, thats why. Once in a while you'll meet a nice girl with no intention of letting things escalate because she's in love with her man. The more you see that type of thing the easier it is to recognize, I eject then. But for your garden variety hoe? Press on.

That's a great insight. Cheers chap.

[Statesman]

Checking in.

Spent today day gaming/reading/drinking coffee.

Approach anxiety was very low today. I did a number of things to keep it that way:

• Prior to leaving my house, I watched a few infields to get motivated.
• As I walked I consciously pulled my shoulders back to adopt powerful body posture.
• I said "morning" to the first person I saw (a middle-aged woman). She didn't respond, which made me realise just how socially awkward everyone is.
• The first "approachable" girl I saw made me nervous and I instantly knew I had to approach there and then. Turns out she wasn't as attractive as I first thought, so we had a nice chat and then went out separate ways.
• I made sure I kept my stomach content low. Too much in there and I'd start to get sluggish and wouldn't be in a good mood to approach.
• I forced myself to hold a little smile. I don't know why, but whenever I do this, I'm always able to maintain a happier vibe.
• I was social with coffee servers. Small talk is a great way to roll your vibe over when you have to (it was raining outside, so I needed to wait until it wasn't).
• And a few more I'm probably forgetting...
  

I could've made more approaches today (I only made 5 or so?) but this is an improvement on the recent approach anxiety I've been struggling with.

Also, I've got this massive spot on my lip at the moment and I nearly let it stop me from practicing game. Glad I didn't.

For approaches of note, there's only one worth mentioning...

A brunette uni student at the bookstore. I saw her check me out and I opened her. The conversation was good. She was responsive to teasing, kept expanding the topics and gave the usual hair playing IOI.

However, a bloke then came over and her attention was split. At this point I bounced (first time it's happened).

In hindsight, it seems like while he was trying to get her attention off me, she still wanted to speak to me. An interesting situation. Next time, I think my best step is to possibly introduce myself to the chap - and then bring the conversation back to her in the hopes he goes away (or doesn't) so I can go in for the number.

To summarise...

No numbers today. My "wins" were minimising approach anxiety and stopping a few people while they were walking (which I struggle with).

[Fightersword]

(01-20-2018 01:14 PM)Statesman Wrote:  

However, a bloke then came over and her attention was split. At this point I bounced (first time it's happened).

In hindsight, it seems like while he was trying to get her attention off me, she still wanted to speak to me. An interesting situation. Next time, I think my best step is to possibly introduce myself to the chap - and then bring the conversation back to her in the hopes he goes away (or doesn't) so I can go in for the number.

Yeah, that's a thing that will happen occasionally. Ejecting is definitely the wrong option and was probably due to the added complication making you feel a bit more anxious about it. It seems like upon reflection you have the right idea though, many of them will eject themselves if you don't go away soon, because they start getting naturally ignored in the conversation if the girl's interest is squarely on you after she initially gives him a bit of polite attention. So you give them a little attention up front and then things often just sort of swing back your way. If it's a sticky orbiter you can also make a joke about them dating, which will get the girl to laugh and deny it and send pretty much any of them packing.

[Statesman]

(01-20-2018 02:45 PM)Fightersword Wrote:  

Yeah, that's a thing that will happen occasionally. Ejecting is definitely the wrong option and was probably due to the added complication making you feel a bit more anxious about it. It seems like upon reflection you have the right idea though, many of them will eject themselves if you don't go away soon, because they start getting naturally ignored in the conversation if the girl's interest is squarely on you after she initially gives him a bit of polite attention. So you give them a little attention up front and then things often just sort of swing back your way. If it's a sticky orbiter you can also make a joke about them dating, which will get the girl to laugh and deny it and send pretty much any of them packing.

I definitely got anxious and felt my body temperature increase.

Appreciate the feedback, I'll stay in the situation in the future and see what we can do.

Also, cheers for the rep!

[Statesman]

Checking in.

Since my last post, it's been raining non-stop here. So day game was off the cards... until today.

Went to my local shopping centre to do some work.

It's on the outskirts of my city, so you need to drive or take a bus to get there. This meant it wasn't very busy. But as explained in my original post, this is my lifestyle. Day game is supposed to supplement it.

At the tail end of my work - when I'm feeling myself get slower - I decide to open a girl sitting next to me.

It seems like I caught her off guard, but it immediately made the interaction playful ("did I scare you?" accompanied with a shit-eating grin).

I was getting IoIs, including her asking questions about me.

But eventually she dropped that she lives with her partner (while we were talking about her living arrangements).

At this point, I considered her a dead lead. We kept talking for a little bit because it was an enjoyable chat, but eventually I decided it was time to leave.

Though I don't think I'd pursue a girl who lives with her partner, I think I should've at least taken her Instagram so it's not a wasted lead. That way I could have seeded something or entered her social circle.

Live and learn!

There's a good chance I can bump into her again if I want to. So I'll keep that in mind.

In summary: happy to be carrying on the momentum of this past weekend. I'll be out and about tomorrow as well, so hopefully I can get a number or two. I'll keep you posted.

[Statesman]

Checking in.

Two approaches today and I've got a fairly good gist of where I am in the development of my day game.

When I first got into it, I was focused on the whole process (open --> ramble --> close). But after a few numbers and a lay, I decided to focus on my big sticking point - opening.

Problem is, I haven't been going into interactions prepared to get the number/insta-date.

Instead I completely forget the GALNUC and make excuses as to why they won't give me their number. Terrible inner game.

My focus going forward, now that I'm on a roll with opening, is to go through with GALNUC.

As for today's approaches...

Approach #1: Saw an attractive girl in work clothing. Followed her into a store and opened her. Had a good chat. Got some IoIs including the leg crossing. Unfortunately, the problems just mentioned came up. Couldn't ask for the number. Really kicking myself on this one.

Approach #2: Store worker. Opened and had a good chat again. Lots of rapport. 5-10 minutes in she dropped that she has two kids. Completely surprised me as she looked to a young twenties, uni student. At this point, she wasn't an option for me.

Lessons learnt: I need to transition my focus from opening/controlling my approach anxiety and into approaching with the purpose of getting a number.

Until next time!

[Statesman]

Checking in.

Had a few beers last night so my work wasn't going too well today. Decided to hit a few coffee shops and focus. Wasn't totally focused on gaming.

Anyway, I get about 20 minutes between realising my work is a write-off and before meeting up with a pal.

I opened a girl who was sitting outside a coffee shop. Though she didn't seem to keen to keep talking to me. She kept texting while I was there. Checked out of that fairly quickly.

On the way to meet my friend I open an attractive brunette. We have a good chat, lots of back and forth. She was a fun girl. I don't bottle asking for the number this time - but I get the "I have a boyfriend" rejection. Once again, I stopped here, albeit with a bit more composure. To be honest, my asking for her number was weak. From the language used to how I said it. That's something to improve on.

I'm finding that the easiest girls to talk to are the ones who have boyfriends. In fact, it's becoming a pretty good tell. Perhaps its because they've got their guard down (i.e. "I have a boyfriend so surely he won't try hit on me...").

[Statesman]

Checking in again.

Busy week and haven't felt like day gaming, even though I've had opportunities to.

Turned that around today.

My vibe/state wasn't great, but I wanted to put at least one approach in. Here's the results...

Approach #1: A young looking girl in a major coffee shop. I first spotted her when I walked in. I had a feeling she wasn't a native and/or English wasn't her first language. While she waited for her coffee, she overheard the barista and me going back and forward. Just general chat, but it was enough to make me look assertive (in my mind).

After getting my coffee, I went to find a table with a plug socket. It was next to her. I made a comment about her bag, to which she squeaked back.

I get to work and start thinking about how much of an opportunity this is. The girl is sitting alone, on her phone, right next to me.

I open.

We chat a lot, and I eventually bring her out of her shell. Turns out she was a native to the very city I'm in! There's some back and forth, but she's hard to read. Her general vibe is 'down and out'. It stems from her having no idea what to do with her life.

The chat goes on, I'm getting a few smiles and some questions from her, but mostly it's me asking her questions (too many, to the point she mentioned it overwhelmed her a bit). Eventually it comes time to ask for the number... I get inside my head a bit here.

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"Not much, you?"

"Blah blah - if you're around and want to grab a coffee you should give me your number"

"Okay" - I get my phone out and she jots it in.

While she's doing this, I ask her name. She responds and instantly asks for mine. It seems to me that she's interested. Kind of like I'm the first damn exciting thing to happen to her in a while.

All good right? Buuuut...

I think she gave me a bogus number. Can't find her on WhatsApp, Instagram or anything like that. And I haven't got a response yet from my text.

Not too dejected - charging it to the game - but still a let down. I'll update the thread if I'm wrong on the bogus number call.

Moving on...

Approach #2: Just a quick one. Saw an attractive girl - opened her with a question about coffee shops. Her response is "I don't drink hot drinks." So we talk about food and she still doesn't know. I ask her if she doesn't eat either. Then we briefly talk about university buildings. All this time she's giggling and smiling, I'm smiling too, but her body language is pulling her away. I think she had to be somewhere.

In hindsight, I probably should've been bolder about getting her to stop pulling away from the interaction. Either with my own body language or some quick verbal lines. Unfortunately I'm not a verbal Zorro, just yet.

Approach #3: I head to my last coffee shop for the day and there's a girl who's eye-fucking me. We smile at each other a few times. I should've approached there and then, but she was with a pal and I wasn't sure how to handle two girls in the day time and no wing. After stewing over it, while she's sitting about 2 metres from me, I decide on an opener.

I'm going to ask if she needs a break (in an amused mastery kind of way) and then invite her to my table to get a woman's opinion...

I stew a bit more.

As I'm getting ready to leave (and bottle the approach), she looks at me. I whip out the opener.

Unfortunately, it doesn't go to plan. Her pal joins in and now I'm having a conversation with two people. It goes well, but I just don't know how to get her number. Her friend completely throws me. Not because she was a bitch or closed off - that would be better - but because she was friendly as well!

As I'm on the brink of leaving I'm getting these puppy dog eyes from the girl. Like she's begging me to get her number, or something. But I still just bottle it. Just felt so out of my comfort zone.

I'll be honest, I'm kicking myself on this one. I'll probably stop by that same coffee shop over the next week to just see if chance brings the opportunity back, but hey-ho. Another one to learn from.

Any advice on this front? I know Roosh says to not girls who are with other girls in Day Bang, but she was clearly into me so I had to.

Lessons Learnt: I need to be more bold. Stop being afraid of being rejected in scenarios I haven't faced before and even in ones I have (like going for the number).

[RedPillUK]

(02-01-2018 02:42 PM)Statesman Wrote:  

Approach #1:
The chat goes on, I'm getting a few smiles and some questions from her, but mostly it's me asking her questions (too many, to the point she mentioned it overwhelmed her a bit).

This sounds like she was just having a polite conversation, asking too many questions is always bad, try and use statements as a way of asking questions.

Questions generally sound needy. Why are you trying to gather information from her? Why is a stranger so important to you? Why do you need this information now instead of later? Why should she give a stranger information about herself? It gives you a bad vibe acting like this.

Talking in statements is how people actually talk. It's better to talk to someone like an old friend with statements and jokes even if you just met them. Then let the conversation flow, this should take you out of your head and is more natural.

I barely even ask questions even to the girls I'm already seeing regularly. Why? Because I genuinely don't care enough to, I ask a question only when I need that information right there and then. The rest of the time, I just enjoy my time with them and let things develop naturally.

She literally asked you to stop questioning her when she mentioned it was overwhelming. Girls are generally non-confrontational so this was her way of asking you to stop asking so many damn questions and chill out, but if you are not experienced with girls or socially aware this will go over your head.

Quote:

Eventually it comes time to ask for the number... I get inside my head a bit here.

Translation: You start to think to yourself that your your polite but awkward conversation is coming to an end, so you get the urge to salvage it by asking for the number. You asked for it in a good non needy way, by saying you're doing x come join me if you like.
However this puts her on the spot and that's probably why she gave you the fake number.

It's fine to get inside your head and think about how things are going sometimes, but instead of thinking: "time's running out so you better go for the number" you should have been thinking "this conversations boring as fuck, I'm going to say something to make her laugh or make it more exciting"

Quote:

Approach #3:
As I'm on the brink of leaving I'm getting these puppy dog eyes from the girl. Like she's begging me to get her number, or something. But I still just bottle it. Just felt so out of my comfort zone.

No! How did you go into your head with the first girl and think, ok time to get the number, but you didn't with this girl?

It sounds like you did think that, but bottled it! Why? Maybe she was so pretty you felt like didn't deserve her. You probably have a mental block there, But that was the time to take a breath, get out of your comfort zone and do something like ask her out, not the other time! At least now you have painful experiences like this to remind you not to do it again.

[pancakemouse]

(01-13-2018 06:57 AM)Statesman Wrote:  

As above, I've been "on" the forum for around 7 years after being introduced to Roosh by my Dad. Back then, I spent most my early days - when I was a teenager - in the Lifestyle section. I credit that forum and the posters to a huge portion of where my life is today.

This needs elaborating.

[Statesman]

(02-02-2018 12:49 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

This sounds like she was just having a polite conversation, asking too many questions is always bad, try and use statements as a way of asking questions.

[...]

She literally asked you to stop questioning her when she mentioned it was overwhelming. Girls are generally non-confrontational so this was her way of asking you to stop asking so many damn questions and chill out, but if you are not experienced with girls or socially aware this will go over your head.

You're right. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all questions - but there was a lot. Talking in statements just wasn't getting the response you'd expect in a normal conversation.

Problem is, I wasn't sure if this was because she didn't want to talk or because she's just socially awkward.

I pinned it on the latter*. And because of that, I had Roosh's sweet words echoing in my head - "an approach isn't over until you get the number, she turns away or stops talking".

Quote:

It's fine to get inside your head and think about how things are going sometimes, but instead of thinking: "time's running out so you better go for the number" you should have been thinking "this conversations boring as fuck, I'm going to say something to make her laugh or make it more exciting"

Solid reframe. I'll definitely start doing that.

Quote:

No! How did you go into your head with the first girl and think, ok time to get the number, but you didn't with this girl?

It sounds like you did think that, but bottled it! Why? Maybe she was so pretty you felt like didn't deserve her. You probably have a mental block there, But that was the time to take a breath, get out of your comfort zone and do something like ask her out, not the other time! At least now you have painful experiences like this to remind you not to do it again.

It was purely because her friend was there. I put too much value on it not being a 1-to-1 interaction.

Highlighted the bit in bold because you're right - I'll always think back to this encounter and it will stop me from messing it up again.

*The girl was looking up instead of at her phone in the coffee shop, her interaction with the baristas was socially awkward, her posture, etc.

(02-02-2018 03:20 PM)corsega Wrote:  

This needs elaborating.

I won't tell my Dad's story, as that's up to him if he ever makes an account here. However, when it comes to my story...

I've always had a heavy focus on self-improvement. Particularly the kind of improvements you won't discover through formal avenues like education.

I remember finding this place. The Lifestyle section was like digging up buried treasure.

I started to implement a lot of what I found (mentioned in my original post) and over the years it's compounded and made me exponentially better (professionally, health-wise, everything) than what I would've been had I not come across it.

Now-a-days, I use this form as a grand library for any problem I have.

(Little tip, use Google to search the forum. Type in... site:rooshvforum.network "your problem/topic". E.g. site:rooshvforum.network "zinc")

Honestly, almost every problem a man will face has been answered on this forum. It's the shit.

[RedPillUK]

(02-04-2018 10:24 AM)Statesman Wrote:  

You're right. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all questions - but there was a lot. Talking in statements just wasn't getting the response you'd expect in a normal conversation.

Problem is, I wasn't sure if this was because she didn't want to talk or because she's just socially awkward.

I pinned it on the latter*. And because of that, I had Roosh's sweet words echoing in my head - "an approach isn't over until you get the number, she turns away or stops talking".

That's probably it, she's socially awkward, a lot of people are, especially anyone under 25. She might never have spoken to a stranger in a coffee shop before.

I always remember Roosh's advice also which reminds me to persevere. It's tough with shy people, you have to do something a little 'out there' to get them to come out of their shell.

Something like being a little too friendly or jokey than what feels natural usually works. That can mean anything from making a joke, observation. Making physical contact in a friendly non sexual way. Teasing them about being shy or something like that. It doesn't even have to be that funny.

If the person is genuinely shy and not just someone who doesn't like you, I think enough friendly banter will eventually get them talking, and if it doesn't well then you'll find out that they just don't like you.

So it's a good idea to persevere in a "make the conversation more entertaining way" not in a "let's get the number way". I find this works with men and people of all ages too.

Quote:

It was purely because her friend was there. I put too much value on it not being a 1-to-1 interaction.

Well you were brave enough to go up to two girls together in the daytime that's much more than most people will have the balls to do. I still pussy out of doing that a lot.


It's tough to escalate in that situation but it's easier to have some friendly banter with some sexual tension beneath it.

Personally I think it's pretty damn hilarious to ask one of them for permission for the other one's number. That's just me though. Or to try for both of their numbers, or to ask for one girl's number, and then say "I feel bad I don't want to make your friend feel left out" and ask for the other girls number.

You could save them in your phone as library girl 1 and library girl 2 and show them. There are so many opportunities for jokes and teasing in this I would probably be having too much fun and clown myself out of actually getting with either of them.

[Statesman]

Checking in ("In today's episode of the game log... a number close and date set up )

Another busy week (working multiple client projects at the moment) but I still wanted to get out and approach.

I spent Sunday hungover and watched a bunch of day game infields. Most of those guys are going very direct, so I thought I'd try that out.

I went out yesterday with the goal of opening with Krauser's method.

Of course, I wimp out of virtually every opportunity because it's totally new to me (my day game has been indirect, Day Bang style).

It doesn't effect my state, though. I'm getting lots of work done and that's keeping me in a good mood.

Come mid-afternoon I pitch up in a coffee shop very close to the university that gets a lot of foot traffic. I'm positioned by the front-door and have a few small interactions with the people around me.

About 20 minutes into my work, a girl walks in.

She's got some great legs and a pretty face.

She smiles at me.

She's waiting for a friend and we make eye contact a few more times and exchange smiles while she's on the phone.

Her friend turns up, but the girl is still doing everything to show her wares.

(She's sitting awkwardly so her friend isn't blocking our view of each other. She's smiling every time we make eye contact. Etc.)

I finish up with my work and start packing up my stuff. I'm in my head again, like I was the other day.

But as RedPillUK said...

(02-02-2018 12:49 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

At least now you have painful experiences like this to remind you not to do it again.

I get my coat on. Head to the toilet. Come back. And then I go up to the girl's friend and ask for a minute with her pal.

The target gets up and we shuffle a few steps away from her table.

I go direct. In brief, "you're attractive, let's get coffee."

We have a bit of back and forth and after getting the number, I break the touch barrier with a hug.

I've spoke to her since and we've got a coffee date set up for late afternoon tomorrow. There's a good chance we can venue change and grab a drink as well. I'll keep you posted.

This one feels like a real success. It's made so sweet because I didn't repeat the mistake I made just a few days ago.

Happy with this.

Though I will say, I made mistakes both prior to the interaction and when we were talking (for the latter, I put her on the spot in a way which could've killed the attraction.)

Lessons Learnt: If a girl is giving you blatant IoIs, you've got to go for it. Being decisive and going for what you want will pay out more than it doesn't. Being direct works.

In other news, I've had a couple Tinder dates recently. And have another two in the pipeline.

[Statesman]

Little update:

Unfortunately work has been crazy over the past few weeks and doesn't show any signs of letting up for at least another two weeks.

This means I have very, very little free time to approach. Not even weekends.

(I'll push back my 100 approaches in 10 week challenge I said I'd do with Bizet. )