I want to tell her that it's sort of rude, but is that the right thing to do? What if she gets mad and/or super defensive about it?
What to do when a woman brings up another man in conversation?
It's not rude, and if you say it is you instantly look like the insecure guy.
This question requires more context...
"My dad did this weird thing the other day and blah blah blah. He snores so loud!"
Kind of funny. My dad is also a weirdo and snores like a motherfucker. Relatable.
"I was sucking off my ex-boyfriend and he farted..."
Disgusting whore. I did not need to know that. Bad conversation. Next.
"I think my guy friend has a crush on me. He's always texting me, but I'm not really into him."
Yawn. He wants to bang you. Text him with your lingerie laying on my floor.
Who is the man she is talking about, and what is the context?
"My dad did this weird thing the other day and blah blah blah. He snores so loud!"
Kind of funny. My dad is also a weirdo and snores like a motherfucker. Relatable.
"I was sucking off my ex-boyfriend and he farted..."
Disgusting whore. I did not need to know that. Bad conversation. Next.
"I think my guy friend has a crush on me. He's always texting me, but I'm not really into him."
Yawn. He wants to bang you. Text him with your lingerie laying on my floor.
Who is the man she is talking about, and what is the context?
She's doing it to test you and watch your reaction.
If you want to really fuck with her, and spin it in your favor, and send her mind spinning into knots, you will defend the guy, or always take his side in the conversation, and prop him up.
This is for any man, and whatever he did, no matter how heinous. Her ex that screwed her over bad. Her ex that gave her lousy cunnilingus. Her father that walked out on her family on Christmas and never paid child support. Her wealthy ex boyfriend who is boring. Her friends bf who has a big dick, but is flakey. You have to have nerves of steel to do it. I know, I have heard all of these, and way more.
You are just a totally positive guy that sees positivity in everyone, no matter how shameful their behavior.
So, when she says "my ex was such a jerk, he yelled at me in front of everybody at a party because I was openly and aggressively flirting with lots of other men, in front of all of our friends and family"
You say, "wow, he sounded upset, but I can see why he might be upset, if that were true. I am sure he is a good guy, he just lost his cool." And some other BS.
She says, "My ex stole all this money from me, he backed out of our lease, and he took my mothers sterling silver!"
You say; "I hear you, that can be frustrating. But what was he dealing with? Did he have a job, or was he unemployed? Men can do dumb things when they're backs against the wall. what is he doing now, is he ok?
She says; "My father was such a jerk! He got wealthy because he was racist, and bought up all of these apartments in Hong Kong at exactly the right time in the 1980's. All of his money is from him being white."
You say; "wow, what an achievement. He did what? You mean he timed one of the most incredible real estate markets in the history of the world? And he did that on his own? What an incredible man. I would like to learn from him. Can he mentor me?
She says "My father walked out on us, he never did anything for us, never paid child support, was a drug addict, was never there, married some tramp, drinks"
You say; "life is tough, and marriage is tough. Especially if you marry the wrong person, or figure that out way too late. And staying together in a home full of conflict is actually worse for the kids. He must have dealt with a lot. Do you still talk to him?" The bad ones say no.
And on and on. I could go on for days with these, all real life examples. The fun ones are when they talk about their exes, because 99% of the men out there will side with her on some Oprah fueled which hunt, which shows her how slimy, and how little backbone you have. Most women play this game, and you have to show them its pointless because you are a man, and not one of her girlfriends she can dump bullshit on. But don't let on that you are doing this, she will drop your ass fast if thats the case, and truthfully its kind of a dick move, you should get dropped if you start making stupid accusations. You are just a totally positive guy that sees positivity in everyone, no matter how shameful their behavior.
Anytime she brings up a guy, side with him subtly, pump him up, agree with him, no matter what heinous act she dreams up. She'll drop it real quick, and think you are a saint.
If you want to really fuck with her, and spin it in your favor, and send her mind spinning into knots, you will defend the guy, or always take his side in the conversation, and prop him up.
This is for any man, and whatever he did, no matter how heinous. Her ex that screwed her over bad. Her ex that gave her lousy cunnilingus. Her father that walked out on her family on Christmas and never paid child support. Her wealthy ex boyfriend who is boring. Her friends bf who has a big dick, but is flakey. You have to have nerves of steel to do it. I know, I have heard all of these, and way more.
You are just a totally positive guy that sees positivity in everyone, no matter how shameful their behavior.
So, when she says "my ex was such a jerk, he yelled at me in front of everybody at a party because I was openly and aggressively flirting with lots of other men, in front of all of our friends and family"
You say, "wow, he sounded upset, but I can see why he might be upset, if that were true. I am sure he is a good guy, he just lost his cool." And some other BS.
She says, "My ex stole all this money from me, he backed out of our lease, and he took my mothers sterling silver!"
You say; "I hear you, that can be frustrating. But what was he dealing with? Did he have a job, or was he unemployed? Men can do dumb things when they're backs against the wall. what is he doing now, is he ok?
She says; "My father was such a jerk! He got wealthy because he was racist, and bought up all of these apartments in Hong Kong at exactly the right time in the 1980's. All of his money is from him being white."
You say; "wow, what an achievement. He did what? You mean he timed one of the most incredible real estate markets in the history of the world? And he did that on his own? What an incredible man. I would like to learn from him. Can he mentor me?
She says "My father walked out on us, he never did anything for us, never paid child support, was a drug addict, was never there, married some tramp, drinks"
You say; "life is tough, and marriage is tough. Especially if you marry the wrong person, or figure that out way too late. And staying together in a home full of conflict is actually worse for the kids. He must have dealt with a lot. Do you still talk to him?" The bad ones say no.
And on and on. I could go on for days with these, all real life examples. The fun ones are when they talk about their exes, because 99% of the men out there will side with her on some Oprah fueled which hunt, which shows her how slimy, and how little backbone you have. Most women play this game, and you have to show them its pointless because you are a man, and not one of her girlfriends she can dump bullshit on. But don't let on that you are doing this, she will drop your ass fast if thats the case, and truthfully its kind of a dick move, you should get dropped if you start making stupid accusations. You are just a totally positive guy that sees positivity in everyone, no matter how shameful their behavior.
Anytime she brings up a guy, side with him subtly, pump him up, agree with him, no matter what heinous act she dreams up. She'll drop it real quick, and think you are a saint.
I had one a while ago when I cold approached a girl, it was going 'good' (compared to what i'm used too) and after a while she pointed out the handsome barman and kept talking about how hot he was.
I was like ''Yeah, he's cute. I'd fuck him!!''
I think that passed the test, but I still felt as though she was glancing at him from time to time, and as a result I thought it was pointless trying to escalate. I felt as though maybe her saying what she said was maybe her way of letting me down gently and telling me not to make a move or whatever.
I was like ''Yeah, he's cute. I'd fuck him!!''
I think that passed the test, but I still felt as though she was glancing at him from time to time, and as a result I thought it was pointless trying to escalate. I felt as though maybe her saying what she said was maybe her way of letting me down gently and telling me not to make a move or whatever.
Quote: (01-06-2018 12:43 PM)Quizzical_2 Wrote:
I want to tell her that it's sort of rude, but is that the right thing to do? What if she gets mad and/or super defensive about it?
The subtext of your question indicates that you care too much of what women think of you. When your behaviour towards women is dictated by your attempt to win their approval, you're always going to lose.
Never react like a butt-hurt insecure dude.
Ignore it and change the subject.
But do take the chance to drop little "shes a slut" comments and jokes to show that you have an opinion that she is a slut, this will make her drop off all those comments and shit tests.
Ignore it and change the subject.
But do take the chance to drop little "shes a slut" comments and jokes to show that you have an opinion that she is a slut, this will make her drop off all those comments and shit tests.
I had that happen twice in 2017. Most recent time, I was on a 3rd date with a girl from whom I met at a grocery store. She comes over my house, and 10 minutes into her getting there, her phone rings, and a guy (I referred to as her work husband) wants to talk. This is 2 hours after she left work for the day, but she carried on a convo for a good 10 minutes, with me sitting right there. Once she got off the phone, she attempted to bring me into her work drama, which I promptly cut her off and said honestly I don't care about it or him. She got an attitude, and left shortly after.
You need to nip that in the bud early. It's one thing if she's bringing up family members, but exs or beta orbiters (like the work husband example) are only brought up to see if she can make you jealous.
You need to nip that in the bud early. It's one thing if she's bringing up family members, but exs or beta orbiters (like the work husband example) are only brought up to see if she can make you jealous.
Quote: (01-06-2018 06:24 PM)treypound Wrote:
I had that happen twice in 2017. Most recent time, I was on a 3rd date with a girl from whom I met at a grocery store. She comes over my house, and 10 minutes into her getting there, her phone rings, and a guy (I referred to as her work husband) wants to talk. This is 2 hours after she left work for the day, but she carried on a convo for a good 10 minutes, with me sitting right there. Once she got off the phone, she attempted to bring me into her work drama, which I promptly cut her off and said honestly I don't care about it or him. She got an attitude, and left shortly after.
You need to nip that in the bud early. It's one thing if she's bringing up family members, but exs or beta orbiters (like the work husband example) are only brought up to see if she can make you jealous.
I would have gone into the other room and fired up the Nintendo.
"Hank, did you hear what Steve did at work blah blah blah blah blah"
"Babe, hold on, I'm about to save the princess... you don't think she's in another castle, right? She wouldn't do that to me."
Serious answer.
This is a shit test.
You shut it down by shaming her but not actually saying it.
"Oh."
"Hmmm."
(Squint your eyes) and say "...I see."
"Um... okay then..."
"...alright..."
The idea is to send a non-verbal queue with the message "This conversation sucks" without actually saying it.
Then all the sudden in her mind she's thinking "Shit, I shouldn't have said that."
Make her feel awkward and that she's making the conversation boring. You're the one approving of whether this conversation is worth having, not her.
I say this too often, but it's a matter of calibration. Eventually you just learn how to have conversations where she's trying to be the interesting one, rather than you seeking her approval.
A plate actually just texted me and said she's starting to pick up on some of my idiosyncrasies. "Hmm." "...I see." "Isn't that something..."
Incorporate a few boilerplate phrases into your conversation. Those are mine. What works depends on your style. "Hmmm" is my go to.
This is a shit test.
You shut it down by shaming her but not actually saying it.
"Oh."
"Hmmm."
(Squint your eyes) and say "...I see."
"Um... okay then..."
"...alright..."
The idea is to send a non-verbal queue with the message "This conversation sucks" without actually saying it.
Then all the sudden in her mind she's thinking "Shit, I shouldn't have said that."
Make her feel awkward and that she's making the conversation boring. You're the one approving of whether this conversation is worth having, not her.
I say this too often, but it's a matter of calibration. Eventually you just learn how to have conversations where she's trying to be the interesting one, rather than you seeking her approval.
A plate actually just texted me and said she's starting to pick up on some of my idiosyncrasies. "Hmm." "...I see." "Isn't that something..."
Incorporate a few boilerplate phrases into your conversation. Those are mine. What works depends on your style. "Hmmm" is my go to.
When a woman talks about some ridiculous shit that a man would be crucified for bringing up, just chuckle and smile like you can't believe this shit is actually happening. Maintain eye contact.
She's probably going to get self-conscious and ask you what's so funny.
"Oh, nothing. What was his name? Steve? He sounds like a really interesting character."
She's going to realise what a dipshit she sounds like and change the subject.
She's probably going to get self-conscious and ask you what's so funny.
"Oh, nothing. What was his name? Steve? He sounds like a really interesting character."
She's going to realise what a dipshit she sounds like and change the subject.
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
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