[sch]

Honestly, I never knew how to deal with girls who ask me to buy a drink, a dinner, or flowers. Usually, I would say that I don't do that and they'll bounce.

Yesterday I was reading "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman", and what he was taught to do was to tell "I'll buy you a drink if you'd sleep with me" with a straight face.

Such a simple thing, honest and carefree. I like the idea.

Why was that option so elusive to my mind?

The idea should be called Feynman's Method from now on!

[The Catalyst]

Really his phrase isn't all that much better than yours. The exact words you say pretty much don't matter. You shouldn't have the mentality of trying to be slick with your wordplay. Honestly I would call them out for being freeloaders in a teasy way.

[Noir]

You just got to qualify them.

Anything works.

I used to use the "What's in it for me?"

Now I just entertain myself with-

"Drop and give me 20."
"Scratch/rub my back/shoulders for 2 minutes"

No?

"Oh well." and stop facing them.

This is assuming they just come up to ask you for a drink.

If I have been chatting to the girl already then it's always "What's in it for me?"

It doesn't matter, if you're witty you can come up with millions of permutations.

The qualifier has to be humorous and non-degrading but playful and stern.

[Felix88]

Don't bother with any female who ask you to pay for their drinks.

There are a lot of graceful girls out there.

Few people realize this.

[mensch]

But... The jews!

[Stallion]

Man that book is an amazing read... Feyman was such an interesting man.

[LeeEnfield303]

(12-21-2017 05:36 AM)Stallion Wrote:  

Man that book is an amazing read... Feyman was such an interesting man.

An incredible character. Sadly, today such a socially-awkward (by today's standards) genius would be run out of the universities on a rail by the PozziNazis before he could blink.

[RatInTheWoods]

what kind of man do you think I am? (shocked look) I don't buy girls things on the first date!!!!

[DonnyGately]

No girl has ever randomly come up to me and said that...does this actually happen? Been going to bars for almost 25 years.

Hell, if she was hot enough i'd be impressed she had the balls to do it. Tequila shots!!

[BadgerHut]

(12-21-2017 06:31 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

No girl has ever randomly come up to me and said that...does this actually happen? Been going to bars for almost 25 years.

Hell, if she was hot enough i'd be impressed she had the balls to do it. Tequila shots!!

Same here. Huge amounts of ink have been spilled on man blogs and forums like these, yet I've never had this happen once, even with a girl I've been talking to for a while.

I would bet this is simply an old mating-ritual move from the 60's or 70's (the early period of singles' bars) that has faded out of practice.

[sch]

Random walk ups for drinks didn't happen with me as well. Though sometimes chicks would come to me and ask to touch my beard.

[JimBobsCooters]

I hate girls who do this. I can't get past the whole "you're a whore" element to it, she's using her looks (sometimes it's just her claim to having a vagina...) to get financial rewards, the definition of a whore.

Having said that, there is the element that she chose to approach you and I've certainly had success turning it on her be it through the "I don't buy someone I don't know a drink" and having her introduce herself, playing some kind of game where she is likely to end up buying the drink (I seem to recall this was in Bang! but it was a long time ago that I read it and may be wrong) or flat out turning it on her and getting her to buy the drink, the trick is being able to quickly surmise which tactic is best for any given girl but the ultimate aim should be that you only buy her a drink if you're in control and it's going to result in her leaving the bar area with you to continue the process.

[heavy]

I find this is a phenomenon at dance bars and clubs. I don't have time for that anymore, but mostly because I don't dance.

At the bars I go to, chicks don't really do this. If a girl did, I would just stare at her with incredulity and wait for her to present herself in a more ladylike fashion.

I might even say (with a smile), "that's not very ladylike".

Actually, now I'd use one of my favorite words. "You're lovely, and I like your necklace, but it would help if you had a bit more nuance."

I don't want to shut down her attempt entirely, but I'm not playing that game. My little experience with the situation is that she's being as honest as women get. She wants a free drink.

[Swell]

I always agree to buying rounds but, she has to buy first.

If she does buys first, You are In.

[Only One Man]

(12-21-2017 03:48 AM)sch Wrote:  

Honestly, I never knew how to deal with girls who ask me to buy a drink, a dinner, or flowers. Usually, I would say that I don't do that and they'll bounce.

Yesterday I was reading "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman", and what he was taught to do was to tell "I'll buy you a drink if you'd sleep with me" with a straight face.

Such a simple thing, honest and carefree. I like the idea.

Why was that option so elusive to my mind?

The idea should be called Feynman's Method from now on!

Are you talking about girls who randomly come up and ask you to buy them a drink? Because I can't imagine a situation where a girl would randomly come up and ask someone to buy them dinner or flowers. Or are you talking about girls you're messaging on tinder/ girls you're out on a date with?

[bgbusiness]

Another great line that I have tried on is, "Yeah, just a moment, in a little bit." Then talk to her like 10min+.

This BUYS you more time to convey your personality and you can practice your game without looking around for the next set to hook. If a girl can't hold a 2min or a 5min convo, assume she was there to hustle you out and get a drink out of you.

If a girl has been talking to you for like 20min, you obviously know she isn't there just for the drink or if she was in it for the drink, but you have successfully gamed her and now her BT is pretty high.

That line from the book is not bad, but it makes everything so overt and that might HURT your game imo.
Also, "what's in it for me?" <- can put the pressure on the girl too much imo. Haven't worked for me, maybe it's not congruent to my style.
Lastly, "I don't buy girls drink, who do you think I am?" <- kinda conveys that you might be butt hurt about it, shows low-value.

[Only One Man]

I'm gonna assume you're talking about a girl coming up to you randomly at a bar and asking you to buy her a drink. Definitely don't act butthurt about it and say you don't do that and I definitely wouldn't use the "I'll buy you a drink if you sleep with me" line either.

What I would do is give her shit about it in some way. Tell her to do a little jig for it. Ask her to tell you a joke or give her a trivia question to answer. Dare her to do something like go up to someone and say something stupid. Tell her "sure but I'm only buying you a drink if you can chug it in 2.4 seconds" or something like that. Say some shit like "I might, depending on your favorite music/movie/actor/whatever". Tell her you will if she asks the bartender a personal or embarrassing question. Like someone above said, tell her to drop and give you 10. Play rock paper scissors for it.

Just use it as an opportunity to tease and game her if she's attractive. In this situation she is essentially opening you. No need to get defensive or say something she'll think is creepy.