[Husar]

Hi guys.
I don't really want to write a book in that post, although if anyone would need some details from me - I'm ready to cooperate.
Basically I need a general advice and I suspect that this is a matter or inner game, so I thought you can help me.

As you can see above English is not my first language, even though I live in the UK (Edinburgh, Scotland) since 2014. I recently realised that I am a loser with shitty reputation. Why loser you might ask? Well, I have no University Degree or any education above high school (despite the fact that I started like 3 degrees). My job is shitty and low - at the moment I work for recruitment agency as a catering assistant. Low skill low paid job. I live with my family, I am overweight, I have no friends and I haven't been fucking since I was 19 years old (I am 27). Yep. And the thing that I am in UK as an immigrant doesn't help at all, in fact I am thinking about going back to my country.

Back in my country 'things' were slightly better. I know I could be in about 7 relationships since I was 19, but it didn't happened. I was a pussy and at the end I wasn't interested that much. There is more. Twice I had an opportunity to have sex with girls (they were literally in my bed) but I haven't done it. I was so fucking scared that I will not perform. And I used to considered myself as a strong man!

There is more, but like I said - I don't want to write a book.

The conclusion is: I think I have huge anxiety problem while living in UK. My self confidence is low, especially with British chicks because simply sometimes I don't understand Scots. That is why I believe it is an inner game problem. I have no motivation, I over-analyse things, I am an ass hole sometimes, sometimes I drink too much and I feel I lost my intelligence level. How to overcome all of this and be a killer (be a little bit more successful)? Please, help?

[lazy]

Have long-term goals and stick to them.

You're 27. Let's say you join an university, a gym, and start a career in early 2018. By 31, you will:

- Have a degree
- Be jacked
- Have 3-4 years of serious work experience

Don't UK universities have special programs for immigrants? I heard that's a common thing in Europe.
Anyone can join a gym and take care of their diet.
Look for a career in which you can get started without an academic background, relying on your intelligence and will. Software engineering, stock/crypto trading, photography, art, marketing, etc.

The hard thing about improving oneself really is sticking to those long term goals. I sympathise with some of what you've said. I've also dropped out of a few degrees. I was going to the best university in South America at one point, yet all I have today is a shitty online degree. I've tried to improve my fitness level a few times but never managed to stick to it. The only thing I have going for me is my career but it's been making miserable lately.

On the plus side, as you age, it gets easier to follow long term plans. The insecurity of youth quiets down and you are able to focus more. The first step is acknowledging your problems and you're already doing that. Now make plans and follow them.

[ksbms]

https://youtu.be/CfSiXJ7pHdQ

[Lordleon]

You're answering yourself and the "inmigrant" thing is just an excuse. It's end 2017, you can start the year good or you can keep your lifestiyle.

-You're overweight = look for diets, join a gym and go on running.
-You don't have a university degree = 1)It's not necesary for success 2)If you want it you can still have it. Look for university programms, inform yourself, move your ass.
-You don't have a proper job, quit.
.You want to study, do it.
-You want friends, join a sports club, a gym or just go to events.
-You want to fuck, start talking to girls.

But the first thing you have to change is that negative mentality.

[gework]

You have the first point down - you are looking at your situation honestly, recognising your flaws and that you are the problem. Most people will never do that - they wait for improvements to fall into their lap which is never going to happen. You have some years under your belt, but it's not too late for improvement. I know guys who are 5 years older than you, they do nothing and don't realise they are the program. They are resigned to their life of misery and low status. This is very common and so if you are engaging in self improvement you really don't have a whole lot of competition.

University is an option since you can go for free in Scotland, though there are other options. I would agree with lazy, something in IT and crypto is a good idea.
Start a fitness regime. As a started I would recommend Shaun T's Insanity to get that fat down. Maybe supplement with weights.
Improve your intellect and psychology, particularly in ways that let you get what you want from the world and understand how to do that. The Jordan PEterson link above is a good start. Stefan Molyenux is also good.

For me the those are the three big things for guys that you can change: 1) money, 2) intellect, 3) fitness. It's not that hard to push into at least the top 25% in these categories as most people aren't trying. Being a loser is largely a choice. Ditto lazy. Set your goals and don't ever stop. People are not happy unless they are achieving.

[CaptainChardonnay]

Wake up everyday and tell yourself these things:

The most important part of my day is to go to the gym and eat a healthy diet (I said this to myself for at least 3 years. I put on 30 pounds in muscle since I started saying it and am finally at a point in my life where I am comfortable with my body image)

With enough courage, effort and perseverance, I WILL be (without a doubt) successful

I am a strong person, both physically and mentally

Whenever you think or say to yourself that you are a loser say to yourself
I am a winner

If you ever have any doubt in yourself ask yourself if this is the type of man you want to be. What would the ideal you do?

When I started cold approaching and felt approach anxiety, to push myself through it I would say to myself, "stop being a bitch." I say that sentence for anything I feel like I should do but was too scared to do in the moment. This gave me a little jolt of adrenaline I needed to do it.

The first step to changing your mind, is to change how your mind thinks. You start talking in a confident way, first to yourself in your mind, and then to other people in public and then you will start acting in a confident way. Your brain will slowly rewire itself and accept the new words you make it think (you are in control) and those words will come out through your physical and verbal language.

It's called Neuro Linguistic Programming.