[ElJefe]

or your inner demons.

I was having a talk with my mother earlier today, and, long story short, she explained to me a pyschologist once told her that my major weakness was that I tried to "control my environment by anger".

It was a pretty tough sentence to get, at the same time, I didn't see any reason why it shouldn't be true. It was a little harsh to accept I sometimes treat decent people like shit because it's just my default reaction - for me, one of the best parts about learning about game has been the absolute requirement that you identify and face your weaknesses. I guess that's a cornerstone to any self-help philosophy.

We then got to talking into how to manage that particular fault, and it occurred to me the immense amount of future trouble I'm saving myself by accepting and managing this part of myself already. Next time I get pissed off at reality, realize that's just my personal, natural reaction, and not necessarily the most effective reaction.

How about you guys - how did you discover your greatest inner demon/personal weakness, and what did you do to get around and deal with it?

[Dash Global]

Its all mental, and can be fixed.

I myself am extremely hard-headed and opinionated. I always wanna do things my and have my cake and eat it to per say. I also gotta work on my approach anxiety and learning not to give a fug. I also got alittle bit of a temper.

These are all things I need to work on. They are all inner and can be fixed or negated to a degree.

The most important thing tho is REALIZING your issues.

[Moma]

(09-12-2011 05:03 AM)Dash Global Wrote:  

Its all mental, and can be fixed.

I myself am extremely hard-headed and opinionated. I always wanna do things my and have my cake and eat it to per say. I also gotta work on my approach anxiety and learning not to give a fug. I also got alittle bit of a temper.

These are all things I need to work on. They are all inner and can be fixed or negated to a degree.

The most important thing tho is REALIZING your issues.

It could also be your diet. Check out fish oils, that can help regulate.

[Parlay44]

I also agree on the diet. Learn to eat on a schedule. I don't care if it's breakfast, lunch and dinner or something small every hour.
Your body has a rhythm that you have to cater to. Just figure it out.

Sometimes you get cranky or upset if you haven't eaten in a while. That's an obvious one.

[ElJefe]

Ha - that's fine. Advice is good.

I was hoping more guys would be willing to share how they manage personal weaknesses. Everyone's got one. In a forum for self-improvement, I figured there'd be some people with some pretty compelling stories. If they didn't mind sharing.

[amistod]

I feel like a great way to determine weakness and improve it is to perform. Comedy, Dj, Bands, Toastmasters.. you name it. Getting up in front of people is key.

[Giovonny]

(09-12-2011 04:58 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

or your inner demons.

I was having a talk with my mother earlier today, and, long story short, she explained to me a pyschologist once told her that my major weakness was that I tried to "control my environment by anger".

It was a pretty tough sentence to get, at the same time, I didn't see any reason why it shouldn't be true. It was a little harsh to accept I sometimes treat decent people like shit because it's just my default reaction - for me, one of the best parts about learning about game has been the absolute requirement that you identify and face your weaknesses. I guess that's a cornerstone to any self-help philosophy.

We then got to talking into how to manage that particular fault, and it occurred to me the immense amount of future trouble I'm saving myself by accepting and managing this part of myself already. Next time I get pissed off at reality, realize that's just my personal, natural reaction, and not necessarily the most effective reaction.

How about you guys - how did you discover your greatest inner demon/personal weakness, and what did you do to get around and deal with it?

I love posts like this. I think this stuff is the root of "Inner Game". We are all a product of our environment and childhood.

Here is something I wrote last year in the thread "What did you do to improve your confidence"...

"Another way to increase confidence is to deal with any unresolved emotional issues that you might have. I think that stuff is deep Inner Game. Carrying around alot of emotional baggage can have a negative effect on your vibe. Sometimes you gotta just stay home alone for a few days and really think about stuff. If you have more internal peace, you might be more comfortable and have more confidence.

Talking to my parents about why they divorced helped me get over alot of anger and pain.

Which allowed me to be more relaxed and soften my vibe so that it was more attractive to females. My sense of humor picked up and my attitude was more playful and less intense. I started dressing with more swag because I was more comfortable with who I was.

"Forgiving someone, forgiving yourself, having a heart to heart talk with a parent or sibling, these kinds of things can sometimes release weight off your chest and allow you to display more of your "best self" "

I still work on this stuff everyday to make sure I am authentic and fearless. I get more p@ssy when I'm like that.

[dk902]

Some wisdom there from Giovonny. I definitely can relate to much of that, I had a tough time throughout my teenage years dealing with my parents breakup and my subsequent resentment to my father because of it.

It made me hold a lot of anger up inside, despite me being a fairly controlled individual did boil up every now and then and emotions that were buried would explode. The day I buried the hatchet with my father when I was 21 I have never had any unresolved issues since, I don't walk around carrying a burden on my shoulders or something that lingers in the back of my mind any more.

Anything unresolved needs to be gotten off your chest, no two ways about it. We as men bottle shit up and you'll be amazed how you feel once it's done.

I consider myself a very perceptive/observant person, but it's amazing how sometimes you aren't fully aware of your own weaknesses or traits until pointed out by someone else.

My biggest problem has always been I am my own worst critic. I am too self critical at some points, whilst this can be good in many aspects, as you never accept second best and drives you. It can also mean you beat yourself up for a long time over small things and don't let yourself forget it when other guys would have dropped it.

Game has helped me massively with addressing this. The number one attitude that has helped is : the abundance mentality. Because there is always another girl. So I don't beat myself up so much if at all in many situations...money, personal or women. This has helped me channel this into stuff where I can use this critical/competitive streak to be successful, i.e. career, lifting weights, etc.

I too also have a very short fuse and a temper. I found this difficult to get a handle on, and it's still not finished but it's getting there. Learning to count to ten, taking a deep breath (clamping my teeth together so words don't get out!) and letting it go, although this is mostly in a work environment. Outside of that I find a temper to be useful, especially when it comes to dealing with people, as it demonstrates you take 0 bullshit when used correctly.

Final thoughts: I think the best thing about self-help is you get to a point and you accept you for who you are. Genetics and personality only let you change your perceived 'weaknesses' so much. Focus on your strengths instead of always thinking about a weakness. Learn to accept them, live with them and use them to your advantage. It might not be the weakness you thought it was.

[Chad Daring]

For me it was putting myself in positions that made me weak. Game in general did this because socializing was one of my biggest weaknesses and with it came other things. Self loathing, anger, depression, and a host of other things.

To me its like going to the gym, you have to keep changing it up to find out where your weak. If you do the same exercises for months on end you might feel really strong while doing them, but another exercise thats not much different might be crazy difficult just because its out of your norm.